Cas thought back to when he first met Dean, at that time he was engaged to a pretty girl named Lisa, he had moved in just next door and they got along great as friends. Dean was nice, and he lived an apple pie life. Then one day he got drunk at a party, and cornered Cas alone in the kitchen and told him he was gay and he didn't love Lisa like he thought he did, he also told Cas he had amazing eyes.
Dean started crying, and Sam had walked in. He had been a gangly teenager then, but one look at his brother, and then at Cas, he immediately jumped to conclusions. "What the fuck did you do to my brother?"
"Sammy I'm alright." He wiped his nose and seemed to remember where he was immediately, "You know I'm a crazy drunk. Cas here was just listening to all the shit that I needed to get off my chest." Dean had glanced at Castiel, and he gave him an odd look, "He was going to drive me back to my house, we're neighbors."
"I can drive you back." Dean shook his head and Sam smiled at Castiel, they had been friends then. "Make sure my brother doesn't annoy you too much." Those had been the last friendly words he uttered to Cas.
When Cas had pulled into Dean's driveway in the impala, Dean had told him to help him to the door. "I'm wobbly on my feet." At the front door Dean leaned in close to Cas and whispered things in his ear, the next moment they were shutting the door behind them, and Cas was murmuring back into Dean's ear.
"You're engaged." it was getting harder to concentrate with Dean sliding his hand through Cas's hair. "Dean, are you sure?"
They were both sweaty and he could tell Dean was hard, but he didn't want to break up and engagement, "Just fuck me." Dean growled in a husky voice, and Cas needed no further encouragement. The morning after Dean brought Cas home Lisa had found them. On their bed. Naked. Spooning. And Dean was the little spoon. Needless to say there wasn't much margin for error when she guessed at what had happened.
Castiel had gone pale; then beat red. He gathered his clothes and rushed into the bathroom and almost puked. He could hear Dean trying to tell her he was sorry, but not sorry at the same time. It all made Cas's head spin. Once he pulled on his blue jeans and old hoodie he slipped out of the bathroom and tried to make it downstairs unnoticed. But Dean's eye caught his and he froze, "Stay." it wasn't an invitation.
Lisa narrowed her eyes at Cas and he avoided her eyes, he didn't want to mess anything else up. Maybe there was a chance for things to be sorted out between them, and he could move to Spain or something.
He watched as Dean pulled on the pair of boxers he threw off last night and dig in his dresser and pull on worn jeans and a T-shirt, "Lisa I'm sorry, but I was planning on breaking it off anyways, I'm just not-"
"No, I'm sorry Dean," all her anger left her face, and she looked tired, "Get out. Come back for your stuff when I'm not here." She started crying and ran to the bathroom, the sound of the lock was loud. Cas looked over at Dean and he saw the younger man watching him, but he didn't say anything.
Some how, ten minutes later Dean was sitting in Cas's kitchen, a duffle bag by his chair, and his hands were in Cas's hair, "What the fuck are we doing?" Castiel tried to make Dean stop and think of what they were doing. What they did.
"Making out. Or we would be if you'd shut up." Dean smirked at Cas, but he pulled away from Dean.
He gripped his own black hair and tried to think clearly, he had drank so much last night, and his memories of most of it where just images and still photos. He couldn't remember how exactly Dean had convinced any of this would be a good idea. "You just broke up with Lisa, Dean. You were going to marry her. Don't you regret last night? Why aren't you yelling at me, and fighting for her?"
Cas couldn't understand why anyone would want to chose him over anything else. He wasn't normal. People told him he stared too much. Sam had instantly hated Castiel from that moment on. But it had been three years since Dean and him had been together.
Castiel's mind was jerked back to the present when someone was touching the side of his face, he was sitting on the floor in the bathroom at the restaurant. He looked up and saw worried green eyes. "Cas?" Dean was kneeling in front of him, "Are you alright?"
Cas stood up and Dean followed him, "I just," he looked at himself in the mirror. He doesn't blame Sam for hating him. His brother could be married with children right now, but instead he was helping his boyfriend off a bathroom floor. "I guess I got lost in thought."
Back at the table, Jessica looked at Cas and worried over him, like she was his mother. "Are you sure you're alright? You where gone almost twenty minutes, Dean was practically wringing his hands."
Even Sam looked concerned, "I'm fine I promise. Sometimes I just forget where I am for a while."
Opps.
Dean glared at him, and his eyes said that they would talk about this later. Jessica petted his hand. When they walked back out to their cars, Jessica hugged Dean and Castiel goodbye, "It was lovely meeting you two." Sam hugged his brother, and shook Cas's hand, he even smiled a bit.
"Jessica seemed nice." Cas threw his keys onto the coffee table and sat down on the sofa Dean seemed to have not heard him. "Sam needs to get a haircut." Cas tried again.
"Yeah." Dean took off his clothes and threw on his old sweats, "Where are all my shirts?" he called from the bedroom. There was banging noises, like he was slamming dresser doors.
Cas got up and sighed, "Second door, Dean." He stood over Dean, who was kneeling on the ground, and pulled open the door. He tossed the other man a shirt and he slipped it over his head, "I have no idea how you manage to get dressed when I'm not here." Together they walked back to the living area and Cas curled up into Dean's side, "I'm sick of Dr. Sexy M.D., let's watch something else."
"But they planned on doing the face transplant on this episode."
"I am not afraid to fight for the remote, and you know I fight dirty." Cas got up on his knees and wiggled his fingers, "I will tickle you Dean Winchester." Dean handed him the controller and Cas settled back down, "Star Treck is on, want to watch it?"
Thirty minutes into it, Cas's mind began to wonder, and he couldn't stay focused on the show. Dean's breathing had slowed, and Cas knew that the other man had fallen asleep. After Dean had broken the engagement with Lisa he had stayed with Cas in the house next door. Dean slept on the couch and never bothered to flirt with Cas, it was as if that one night had been just to get away from Lisa. Then one day he caught the younger man staring at him while he was eating dinner alone at the kitchen bar, "I didn't hear you come in Dean."
Dean shrugged and he smiled with his eyes, "I came in through the back, Lisa just got home."
They were quiet for a few minutes, Dean grabbed a bowl and poured himself a bowl of cereal. Cas was aware of how close the other man was sitting next to him. Every now and then his knee brushed Cas's and it sent spikes of pleasure through his gut. For a moment he let himself wonder what it might be like to build a relationship with Dean, but then he crushed it with one thought. I don't want another pair of scars like the ones from my last boyfriend.
"I don't know how to-" Dean started talking into his bowl, "I wanted to ask if-" his cheeks grew red and his fist clenched around his spoon. The cheap metal started to bend under the pressure. "Damn it Cas I'm just trying to ask if you want to date me." Cas looked over at him, and saw hard green eyes, and his flinched. Dean saw it and his eyes softened and his back slumped. Screw it all to hell, Cas thought. "I just thought."
The rest of his sentence was cut off by chapped lips being pressed up against Dean's, "The couch seems much to uncomfortable." Cas said as he pulled away and he blushed at his own bold words.
There was a sharp pain in the base of his skull as he slid off the couch back in their apartment, and when he opened his eyes, light burned brighter than the sun. His headache was growing and he barely managed to stand up and start to make his way to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. Cas made it five steps before he pitched forward in the hallway, he was on his knees and clinging to the wall. In his mind he called out for Dean, but he wasn't sure if he had actually called for him out loud.
As quickly as it started, the pain faded away, leaving an ugly taste in his mouth. It was blood. Cas brushed his teeth and checked his reflection in the mirror above the sink. He didn't look any different, and that was good. There's no need to worry Dean over nothing.
"Come on to bed." Cas shook Dean's shoulder and he tried to swipe his hand away.
"Shh sleeping." his voice was muddled with sleep.
Cas glanced over at the wall clock and saw that it was already midnight. But that wasn't possible, it couldn't have been 10:30. His cell also showed midnight, and Cas felt his mouth go dry. Maybe he should tell Dean. Dean rolled over and sat up on the couch, "I'm horny." he announced tiredly, with a wicked grin on his face.
Cas couldn't help but smile, and he pushed back his worries for later, "You're barely awake, Dean." Dean stood up and found Cas's hand, "I'm tired, let's go to bed. Tomorrow's Saturday, I'll let you fuck me senseless into the mattress if I can just sleep now." In bed, Cas curled around Dean and placed his head on the other man's chest. He could feel Dean's heartbeat, "Love you."
Dean leaned down and kissed the top of Cas's head, "Same here." but Cas was already asleep.