Dean woke up from a dreamless sleep around four in the morning, there was a light on in the bathroom, and Cas wasn't in bed next to him. He was just about to roll over and fall back asleep when he heard Cas throwing up. Dean was out of bed in a flash, and he had to sit back down to let the wave of vertigo pass.

"Cas baby, you alright?" he walked into their bathroom and saw Cas clutching at the toilet bowl and his face was deathly pale.

Castiel had his face pressed against the toilet seat, and he didn't even look up at Dean. "I'm fine, Dean. Go back to bed, just a little sick." He started coughing, and his whole body shook with the effort at trying to be still. He stood up and smiled at Dean, "Probably something I ate."

Then his body went limp and he fell back down to the floor, barely missing the hard tile, and landing on a pile of dirty towels. Dean picked him up, and was scared of how hot he felt.

Dean pulled on his jeans from earlier and grabbed his keys. The streets were empty, and he couldn't find a taxi anywhere. Dean stood on the dark sidewalk, with Cas in his arms, and no way of getting him the help he needed. "Bobby gets your ass over here now. There's not a damn taxi in sight and Cas needs to go to the hospital."

Dean knew that the old man wouldn't be asleep now, he almost never slept, and he didn't want to call Sam and have to answer a million questions.

Bobby was there in under ten minutes and he just parked his truck and helped the still unconscious Cas into the backseat of his truck. "Sit in the front and stop your worrying. Or I'll put you in the hospital."

Dean couldn't help but glance back at Cas frequently, "I don't know what happened Bobby."

"Well thank God you're not the damn doctor, idgit."

Cas woke up right before they got to the hospital, and Dean had to turn around in his seat and tell him not to sit up. Bobby didn't say anything about the crack in his voice, and Dean was sure Cas was too busy feeling miserable. Cas insisted that he could walk to the doctor's office, but he took one step and almost busted it. Dean scooped him up, and carried him inside, a woman at the front desk looked up alarmed. She brought Cas a gurney and told Dean that he couldn't go with him. After everything had calmed down, and everybody quit asking him what had happened, and he told Bobby that he could go home, Dean texted Sam. "I had to take Cas to the hospital." Hopefully he wouldn't see it until morning and everything would be sorted out by then.

Dean's phone rang instantly, "What's happened? Jessica and I are coming immediately, which hospital?" Sam sounded tired.

"Did I wake you up?" Sam didn't say no, "You don't have to come, nobody is even telling me anything." he glared at the receptionist.

"Well then what happened?" That was Jessica's voice, Sam must have put him on speaker.

"I woke up about thirty minutes ago and Cas was puking his guts up in the bathroom, he said he was fine, then he passed out. And remember earlier tonight at the restaurant? It happened again when we got home, but I couldn't get him out of it. Then he was fine. I just thought it was a head ache thing... I should have done something sooner."

"Dean there was no way you could have known." Sam sounded sincere and Jessica told Dean that he did the best thing by bringing him to the hospital. "Which hospital are you in? We'll be there in the morning."

"Sioux Falls General." They hung up and Dean sat back down on the uncomfortable chair in the waiting room.

Just then a nurse rushed up to him, and clutched at her clip board, "You're with Mr. Novak correct? We ran a few tests on him, a MRI, and a Cat Scan, along with a few others. We're waiting for the results and they shouldn't be in 'til afternoon tomorrow, you should go home and get some rest."

"Where's Cas?"

The nurse sighed and looked down at the clipboard in her hands, "Room 416. But sir," Dean looked at her, annoyed that he is delayed from seeing Cas any longer, "The doctors have guessed at what it is. Now, it's very rare and normally happens to trauma victims, and with Mr. Novak's history…"

"That was more than five years ago." Dean began to panic, how much was Cas going to suffer from that bastard?

The nurse looked at him, he saw the pity, "When the police found him he had a serious concussion and major blood lose, not to mention all the cuts and bruises. He's a very strong man," she placed a small hand on Dean's arm, "I'm sure he can kick this in no time."

Dean was allowed to sit in Cas's room, he was asleep, but he looked better.

Castiel's first serious boyfriend was also the year he graduated from college, everything was perfect. It was the last free summer of his adult life and he was sitting in the shade in a park. His hair was longer, almost to his eyes, and he was just so innocent to the ways of the world. In his lap was some old dime novel he nicked from some convenient store. Castiel didn't notice the young man sit next to him, but he felt the hand on his shoulder.

Cas yelled. "Sorry man, I just wasn't sure how to get your attention. That must be a very good book."

Pale skin blushed, "Not really." Cas stuffed his book in his messenger bag and grinned up at the blonde sitting next to him, "I just thought it was a nice day to be outside."

"And sit in the shade, to read a book?" he had a sharp face and muscled arms, "I'm Lucifer, by the way."

"Castiel." They shook hands.

Lucifer smiled at Cas, "It seems we were both named after angels." Cas looked at him more sharply, most people just said that his name was odd, they never knew where it was from. And it's not like being named after the devil is something anyone would just go around sharing.

Cas woke up early in the morning, the screen with his heart rate started to beet faster. Dean woke up instantly, "Cas baby, how do you feel?"

Cas looked at Dean, panic in his eyes, "Who are you?" Dean almost puked, no, not this. God please let me keep him safe. "Dean?" Cas reached out for him, "Why am I in the hospital?"

"Last night you spaced out again, and I woke up in the middle of the night to fond you puking your guts up, then you passed out. Caught up?" Dean tried to laugh, he really did. It came out more like a sob.

Castiel didn't notice, "When can I leave?" he was fiddling with the IV in his arm, "I have work, this must be expensive-"

"I'll go get the doctor." Dean didn't look at Cas as he left the room, it was best if he didn't see the pain in his eyes.

When Dean came back Cas was still awake and the doctor noted that this was a good sign. Dean wondered what a bad sign was. "So when can I go home?"

There was a long pause before the doctor spoke up, "A week tops, with this disease it's better to have you somewhere where you are familiar with the surroundings."

Dean shot Cas a glance, he looked irritated, "What's wrong with me?

Dean sat down in the chair beside Cas, the doctor had bright red hair, she smiled apologetically, "I'm not going to bother you with the long and scary sounding name, but you're brain has blocked out a lot of terrible memories. And now it's going to try to block everything else out." Cas's hand found Dean's and he felt cold. "There are several treatments that we can do, but for right now the best things is to be woth those you know and love. Try playing mind games, or stay occupied, don't let your mind wander."

Cas sat up straighter in his bed, "And what will happen if none of that works?"

"Those painful memories you blocked will resurface and depression is common at this stage. Next you'll start to lose your newest memories, months can be erased in an afternoon. You'll forget your motor skills, and eventually your brain will just be used up trying to understand what is happening around you, but before that happens we'll have you transferred here for safe keeping." The doctor was blunt, Dean hadn't been told about all that. He just thought that Cas was going to lose his memory, like he would have amnesia.

The doctor left and promised to be back soon with information concerning Cas's release. Dean Cas didn't hear any of this, "Dean I'm sorry."

He pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around him, but that couldn't stop the shaking, Dean got up and sat down next to Cas on the small hospital bed, "It's not your fault Cas, don't ever think that."

11 months after Castiel met Lucifer at the park they were walking down some street in the city. Castiel was upset because he had to miss his lecture test, but Lucifer wouldn't let him do a lot of things lately.

"The test would have taken me an hour tops."

Castiel felt Lucifer's hand tighten around his forearm, "Who cares, it's just a literate test, it's not like you would have done that good on it anyways." For a moment Castiel wondered about leaving him, but he knew that he couldn't. Lucifer would never let him go, not now. Not after what happened last time. He still woke up in a cold sweat, "We're almost here."

Lucifer took him to an illegal casino, "Why don't you go up to that pretty waitress and sneak some drinks off her tray."

"I'll get caught." Lucifer knew it too, he just liked watching Castiel be man handled and shoved out into alleys, only coming to his aid if they were too brutal. Castiel sighed and walked up the small dark hair girl, he looked at her name tag, "Hello there, Meg. I'm Castiel" He grinned and pretended that he wasn't going to pass out.

She looked up at him and her dark eyes smiled, "Well hello Clarence." He wanted to correct her, but it didn't matter, it's not like he would ever get to talk to her again. "Care for a drink?" her low cut top was pressed up against his chest and he could feel her against him. How odd it was that this one little gesture almost broke him. If she had asked how he was doing he might have fallen down to the ground and started crying. Too bad.

"Two please." She handed two small shots of whiskey over to him and walked away. She didn't even wait for any money.

Castiel sighed in relief, he wasn't going to be thrown onto some nasty pavement, he walked back over to Lucifer, who was frowning, "Did she just give those to you?" Castiel didn't like the way Lucifer was looking at Meg, her small curvy body was weaving it's way around the room. Everyone else had to pay for their drinks.

When she came back towards Castiel, Lucifer grabbed his arm and pulled them back towards his apartment. Castiel didn't dare say anything the whole way back, and Lucifer didn't speak to him, only hitting him across the head for helping an old woman across the street.

"You're mine, nobody else's." he whispered into Castiel's ear. They were in Lucifer's bedroom now, and he was pulling off Cas's jeans.

Cas's face was pressed into the mattress and he couldn't get enough air, he felt like he was suffocating. Every time he thought he might get some air, Lucifer held down his head. There were nails in his back, he was sure they were drawing blood. "I'm going to fuck you dry baby, I want you to enjoy the pain. I want you to beg for it." One hand pushed his face further into the bedspread, it stank of Lucifer, "Beg for it."

He pulled Cas's head, he sucked in a ragged breath, his face almost purple, "Please-" he wasn't begging for sex, he was begging to be let go. He didn't want any of this

But the please was good enough, Lucifer rammed into Castiel. His scream was muffled against the mattress, it was torture.