Wow, lots of comments of Santana's actions at the end of the last chapter. I know but this is Santana we are talking about. There are a couple other bumps coming yet. It will all turn out okay, eventually. But, every story has its ups and downs (or it should). That being said here's the next installment. Enjoy.
Chapter 11: Work and Wait
After Santana left in a huff I thought that she needed some time to cool off and get her thoughts together, so I let her be. At least, that's what I would have wanted, some time alone to collect my thoughts and reflect.
I thought of texting her or calling her that night but decided against it. I did call her the next day to see if she was alright and telling her I was sorry for upsetting her. I didn't know that talking about her job and taking over for her mother would make her so upset.
I guess it really is a sore subject for her. It got me to thinking back to the first time I ever saw Santana. That night at the bar, where she came in and looked like she wanted to punch something. I wondered if maybe the reason she was so upset that night was the same reason she got so upset at my apartment. But, I have no way of knowing, well, unless I ask her.
Seeing as she isn't taking my phone calls and is ignoring my text messages that isn't going to happen anytime soon.
I feel bad. On one hand, I want to talk to her and find out what the deal with her is. But on the other hand, I feel like I should just give her space. I've probably called Santana half a dozen times and sent about 10 texts with no response.
Here everything was going great and I was getting to know Santana better. But before I knew it she is walking out of my apartment with my sweatshirt on.
That was almost two weeks ago now. She hasn't been into the bar. I would know. I even asked all of my co-workers if she had come in on my days off but no one has seen her.
"Sugar, can you throw me that bottle?"
The woman looks down to the bottle of whiskey in her hand. "This one?"
"Yeah, the one in your hand." Sometimes I think Sugar is blonder than me.
"Oh." She readjusts her grip on the bottle and then tosses it in my direction.
I catch it with a 'thank you' to Sugar. We do that sometimes. Throw the bottles of liquor back and forth when we need them. It's kind of a neat trick. Not that there is anything tricky about it. It's just throwing a bottle and catching it before it hits the floor and breaks. We've only ever broken two bottles so I'd say our odds are pretty good.
I mix three drinks for a gentlemen at my end of the bar. He takes them when I'm finished, he goes back to his table with his friends, in the dining room. It's Friday again. My favorite. It's not as busy as the last couple of Friday's have been but I think that has something to do with the weather. It's April and warming up nicely. The days are longer and there is more sunlight and people can spend their time outside. They can grill out or drink beers with their buddies in the yard and not get cold or with it getting dark too early.
"Brittany." Sugar whisper-yells to me. I am busy getting two pickled eggs out of the jar for a customer. I will never understand how anyone to eat those nasty stinky things.
"What?" I say without turning to see what she wants.
I don't get any answer. "Brittany." She whispers again. It's that kind of insistent whisper, like, when someone wants your attention, but doesn't want anyone else to know they want your attention, but they end up letting everyone know that they want your attention in the end. Does that make sense? It does to me.
"What is it?" I turn away from the counter and Sugar approaching me. She has big, wide, shocked, looking eyes. "What?" I look back down to the jar of pickled eggs on the counter.
"She's here."
"Who?" I reaching into the jar with the tongs to pull out the second pickled egg.
"Santana." She whispers.
My head snaps up to Sugar's face and forgetting what I am doing altogether. I stare at her. Sugar's eyes shift to my left and then down to the floor. I look down and there lies the pickled egg that I was getting out of the jar.
"You dropped an egg." Sugar comments when her eyes lift back to mine.
"I see that." I don't really see it though. I don't even look down to the floor where I'm sure the pickled eggs is lying. I know it's there though. My eyes instead search the room for the dark haired beauty that I haven't seen in nearly two weeks.
I spot her and my heart skips a beat. For two different reasons. One because Santana is actually here and I haven't seen her in two weeks and two there is someone seated with her. That point is made clear when Santana leans into the woman next to her and says something.
"Who's she with?" It comes out as a sigh. I turn back to see Sugar eyeing me curiously. "And why is she sitting over there?" That's the other thing. Santana isn't sitting in her usually spot at my end of the bar. She is sitting on Sugar's end of the bar, in between one of the regular old guys that always in here and the woman that, I assume, she came with.
"I don't know who that woman is and I don't know why they are sitting down there." Sugar shrugs. "I just thought you might want to know, seeing as you have been asking me if I've seen her."
"Thanks." I mumble and Sugar walks away.
Half of me is sad that Santana isn't sitting at my end of the bar and ordering her drinks from me. That's how it's always been but for whatever reason today is different. Maybe she is mad at me for what I said to her the last time we were together. That would actually make sense considering she hasn't returned any of my texts or calls.
As I glance down the length of the bar and see Santana sitting there with her 'friend' I am a little happy too. She has never said anything about any of her friends to me. I was starting to think that she doesn't have any friends. And that's just sad on so many levels. No one should be in that situation. If the woman she is with is truly a friend of Santana's then I am happy for her.
Another thought crosses my brain and I'm not so happy anymore. I duck my head and ponder the possibility that the woman that Santana came in with is her date. We have never discussed her sexuality but I just know. I don't know how but I know that she isn't interested in men, in the slightest. That little stunt that she pulled a couple weeks back when she came in on a Wednesday night and messed with that guys head just cements the fact.
I look up again with the intention of looking in Santana's direction but there is a young man standing directly in front of me. He gives me a confused look before shaking his head slightly. "Can I get this refilled." He hands me an empty pitcher. "Miller Lite. And two bottles of Bud, please."
"Sure thing. Be right back." I leave him where he stands and go to the cooler and pull out to bottles of beer and pop the tops off of them. Then I go to fill the pitcher. When it's full I grab the pitcher in one hand and the two bottles in the other and bring them back to the man.
"There you are." I set them on the bar top in between him and I.
He hands me a twenty dollar bill. "Keep the change." He says as her picks up the drinks and walks off.
My thoughts return to Santana and the status of the relationship that she has with the woman sitting with her.
Thankfully, it's a busy night and don't have a lot of time to think about that. I do glance over at them every now and then. They don't seem to say to much to each other, though. Other than when Sugar drew my attention to them I haven't seen them talking to each other.
My brain is more or less a mess.
It's about hallway through the night when Sugar comes over to me. It has calmed down a little in the bar. "I tried to get the scoop." She mentions.
"About what?" I ask as I refill a glass of beer for a woman sitting at the bar.
"Santana and her mystery woman."
"And."
"Nothing. They don't seem to be together, if you know what I mean. They haven't hardly said two words to each other all evening. Except for when they came in and the woman asked Santana a few questions. Santana has been paying for her drinks all night, though. I don't know what that means. It's almost like two strangers sitting together. I don't know, it's very weird."
"Hmm." I glance at Sugar, to my left quickly, before looking down the bar again. Santana is watching the tv at that end of the bar. Baseball is on. The woman sitting next to her is watching the other tv, that is fixed on the wall, at my end of the bar. It's tuned into ESPN. We don't get much, other than sports, in a bar. Sometimes local programming or local news. We mostly stick with the sports channels though. "Thanks for the info." I look back to Sugar and smile in thanks.
"No problem. You were looking a little distressed and I thought I would fill you in on what I know. I don't know what's going on with you and her but whatever it is I don't think you have too much to worry about. She's here, after all. At the very least, she couldn't stay away." Sugar pats me on the back and returns to her end of the bar.
She may have a point and I will have to fill her in soon on what's doing on with me and Santana. That is, as soon as I figure out what's going on with us.
"Hey Santana."
Santana snaps her attention away from the tv to me. "Hey." She says. She seems nervous. She looks around the bar and then to the woman sitting next to her. "Hey." She says again, not making eye contact with me.
It makes me a little mad and I huff out a breath. "I just wanted to come over and say hi. I haven't seen you in a few weeks."
"Yeah. I've been busy- doing stuff." She shrugs and goes back to watching the baseball game.
"Oh." I eye the woman next to her curiously. She has been watching our interaction. I can tell. She smiles politely. "I've never seen you in here before?" It's neither too vague or too suspicious of a question for me to ask.
"Never been in this bar before. It's a nice little place." She shrugs and turns to look to Santana. For help, maybe, or for something else. She fidgets with her hands and when Santana doesn't even bother to look away from the tv she looks back to me.
"Well, enjoy your time here." I say to the woman.
"Thanks." She smiles and I go back to my end of the bar to take care of my customers.
"Where'd your friend go?" My voice is hard and even when I ask.
She folds her hands in front of herself on the bar. "I dismissed her about five minutes ago."
I had gone to the bathroom and when I came back Santana was sitting at her usual bar stool at my end of the bar. I was a little surprised at first but a little smile etched it's way onto my face when I saw her sitting there.
I don't ask her why, though. I nod. "Can I get you something to drink?" I ask instead. I don't need to go snooping for reasons. If she wants to tell me about the woman she was with then she can but I won't go asking about it.
"Sure. Just a beer, please."
"Okay." I smile and turn away to get the beer. I take my time. Santana seems uneasy. This whole night has been uneasy for me and I think maybe it has been for her too. There are things that I don't understand but I won't dwell on those things right now. I'm just thankful that I have the opportunity to possibly talk to and spend some time with Santana. "Here's your drink."
I put the bottle of beer on the bar top and she takes it immediately. She takes a big gulp and sets it down again. Suddenly, I feel like I should apologize. For what I'm not sure exactly. For what I said to her a couple of weeks ago, maybe. It's been so long though. I don't want to bring it up and remind her of it.
I keep my mouth shut. That's probably the best thing to do right now. I watch as she looks around. Santana is definitely nervous.
I tap the counter in between us. Her eyes snap to me. Her unsure and nervous eyes connect with mine. I smile at her trying to ease her nerves. I don't know if she can see my smile with her eyes glued to mine but a second later I see the corners of her eyes wrinkle. I telltale sign that she is smiling.
Everything else around me fades out. Which probably isn't good considering that I am at work and should be focused on that. But, it's kinda hard when there is a beauty brunette, that I think I am falling for, sitting across from me for the first time in almost two weeks. A smile that makes me feel lighter and all warm inside stretches across my features. A smile that doesn't come out very often.
Santana's eyes go from nervous to something else. I'm not quite sure what though. I see them clear and brighten. She tilts her head to the side and I hear her sigh.
And I understand now. She is happy to be in my presence again. I understand because I feel the same way. And the nerves and uneasiness fall away the longer our silent conversation goes on for.
"I'm sorry." I whisper. I hadn't really meant to say it but it just came out anyway. I don't take my eyes off of Santana. Her face scrunches up in that cute confused way.
"For what?" She whispers.
I shake my head and look away from her. It's suddenly too much. My eyes search for something to look at other than her. I stop on Sugar and she looking back at me, watching curiously. Of course she is. She would have known that Santana left her end of the bar and came over to mine. She gives me an encouraging smile and I turn back to Santana.
"For what I said- a couple of weeks ago- when you came over to my place." I mumble out my answer to her question.
The smile falls from Santana's face and her eyes go wide. "Brittany. No." Out of the corner of my eye I see the movement. Her left hand reaches out towards me before stopping in mid-air. She must realize it because she pulls both her hands into her lap.
She looks down at the bar and chews her bottom lip between her teeth. "You don't have to apologize. I should be the one doing that. I shouldn't have run out of your apartment like that. I should have stayed. I shouldn't have yelled at you. You did nothing wrong." She looks around before focusing on me again. "I got scared." She shrugs like that explains it all. And it actually might.
"It's okay." I say. "I-"
"No, it's not okay." Santana cuts me off. "I am an idiot. I have been a real fucking dumbass in the last couple of weeks. You shouldn't have to put up with that. I didn't even send you one text to lie and say that I was fine. I just kinda freaked out and ignored everything, well, except for work."
She stops and takes a drink of her beer. "I really enjoyed our afternoon together and I like telling you stuff about myself. Stuff that other people don't necessarily know. But then you said something about what I really want to do with my life and about what will make me happy. I couldn't deal with it. I still am not dealing with it. I put it all to the back of my mind. I don't think you understand but I don't blame you for that. And don't blame yourself, either. I am complicated and my family is complicated to understand. It's not your fault and you don't need to be sorry for anything you said."
She pauses briefly before continuing. "It's not you, it's me. It has become apparent to me- actually, with your help- that I have some issues that I need to deal with. Things that I need to work out."
"Oh." I hang my head. I'm not really sure what she means. I get what complicated means but I don't get why. In my mind a person can choose to live their life in two ways- complicated or simple. I am simple and maybe that's the problem. I'm too simply and I can't understand.
"That's part of the reason I brought that chick with me tonight. Looking back- even a few hours- I know how stupid that was. She wasn't even good company. I prefer your company much more, even if you are working and can't really spend any time with me. I work with her and she was worried about my behavior in the past two weeks. It's true, when I said I didn't think about anything but work."
"How so?"
"Stacey. That chick. She was worried that I was too focused on work and said we should do out for a night on the town. I told her I would only go under two conditions. One- that we come here. And two- that I pay for all of her drinks the whole night."
"Wow."
"I know. Total dumbass." She gives me a tight-lipped smile.
"You're not a dumbass. Just a little silly about some things." I offer.
She laughs. "See. Already better company than Stacey."
I probably have the goofiest of smiles on my face. Santana just makes me feel better. Even now after the last two weeks of no contact with her, I just feels so good. With her little explanation, her side of the story, it feels like nothing ever happened. Like the last two weeks were just a figment of my imagination. Maybe not, but that's how I feel right now.
I probably shouldn't be so easy to forgive and forget but i can't help it with her. This little situation is just that, little. No harm, no foul, in my mind, but that doesn't mean nothing happened. Learn and move on, I say.
"Brittany." Sugar yells from down the bar and I look to see what she wants. She's waving me over, rather obnoxiously. Everyone in the bar has their attention on her, including me and Santana. I shake my head at the slightly crazy young woman.
I glance back to Santana, leaning across the bar a little. "Excuse me." I whisper to her. "I believe someone is trying to get my attention." I smile brightly at Santana and she smiles back.
"What?" I ask Sugar as soon as I get over to where she is.
"How's it going over there?" Sugar asks enthusiastically, nodding her head over in Santana's direction.
"Better." I don't want to give her too much information. Not here and not now. I have every intention of telling her what's going on but not right now. I need some time before I do though. "I will tell you later. But not at the bar and at work. Once I have a grip on the situation I will tell you everything. We can get together for lunch or something one day."
She narrows her eyes at me and folds her arms over her chest. I can tell Sugar is not pleased with this. She pouts and even stomps one of her feet. "Fine." She huffs out.
I put my right hand on one of her arms. "I promise. Okay? Just not yet."
"Okay." She finally agrees.
The rest of night went well. Most of the rest of my time was spent cleaning and serving drinks. I did, however, find a little bit of time to chat with Santana about nothing in particular. Any weirdness that was between us had disappeared after Santana explained why she did the things she did.
"Hey, Santana?"
"Yes." She turns from the program on the tv that she is watching.
"I was wondering- if um-"
"Yes." She says all excited, brilliant smile on her face. "Yes." She says firm but confident.
I tilt my head to the side and narrow my eyes. "You don't even know what I am going to ask." I chuckle.
"Doesn't matter. Yes. I say yes to whatever you want to ask."
Okay. I cross my arms over my chest. "What if I told you that I killed somebody and I asked you to hide the body?" It's a challenge.
"Well-" Santana seems to ponder the question for a few seconds. "-first, I don't believe you could ever kill anyone. You are far too kind. And second, if that was the case I would still say yes." She shrugs.
I study her curiously while I think of something else to say. "Is that so?" She nods. "Well, I'm super happy you said yes then." I tell her with a pleased smile.
"Good. Me too." She smile back at me, just as big.
"Me too." I parrot.
"You said that."
"So did you."
"Brittany quit flirting and get back to work." Sugar yells over at me. I turn away from Santana and glare at Sugar.
She always has to open her mouth and say something at all the wrong times. "What?" She throws her hands in the air in innocence, like, she didn't do anything wrong.
"Nothing." I mutter and go back to drying the glasses that just came out of the dishwasher.
Sugar and I finish cleaning. "Be right back." I nod to the back door to the bar that leads into the kitchen. I go punch out and then go back into the bar. Sugar goes into the kitchen to punch out and I round the bar and hold out my hand.
Santana looks down at it and then looks up to my eyes. "Ready to go?" She nods and takes my hand. I help her off of her bar stools and we walk hand in hand to the front door. We get to the door and she starts to push it open. "Wait." I say and she stops. "We gotta wait for Sugar."
She nods again and lets the door swing closed before looking around the empty bar. "It's so different in here when there is no one here."
"It is, isn't it." I say to her. "I always like the feel of the bar after everyone is gone. It's peaceful and I don't know-" I trail off searching for the word I am looking for.
"Beautiful." Santana says. I stop from looking around the room and stare at her. I have always thought that the bar was beautiful. But, I have never found anyone else who thought the same thing. "What?" She says self-consciously as I stare down at her.
"I have never met anyone who thought the bar was beautiful- outside of my family."
"Well, I think it is." She shrugs.
"Ready to go, bitches." Sugar yells as she enters the bar again. She comes around the bar and towards us at the door. I watch as she comes over towards us with a big smile on her dorky face. "Am I interrupting something?" Sugar asks as she looks both Santana and I up and down. Her gaze stopping at our connected hands.
Santana must notice this too because she lets go of my hand and rocks back and forth on her toes. I frown a little. "No." I tell Sugar. "We were just discussing how different the bar looks when it's empty."
"Okay." Sugar totally believes it. I don't know why but that's fine. I leave out the part about the bar being beautiful. "Lets blow this popsicle stand." Sugar pushes in between Santana and I and pushes the door open. Santana follows her outside. I flick the lights off before I step out the door.
Once we are all outside standing on the sidewalk Sugar turns to us, me more specifically. "Have a good night ladies." She winks at me. "See ya later, Britt."
"Bye Sugar." I mumble down at my feet. She always has to go and say something to embarrass me. Sugar turns and heads over to her car in the parking lot.
I start walking. I just want to get to my apartment as fast as possible. My cheeks are probably bright red and I don't want Santana to see. I pick up the pace and hear her hurried footsteps behind me.
"Brittany, wait." I stop dead in my tracks. Then Santana bumps into the back of me.
I spin around as she stumbles backwards. "Sorry. I didn't mean-"
"Brittany, stop. Okay, it's fine. I'm fine. I just wanted you to slow down. My legs are shorter than yours." She smiles that big Santana smile at me.
I laugh and shake my head. "Right."
"Right. Now lead the way. This time a little slower though." She giggles and I can tell that I'm smiling like an idiot again.
We walk over to my apartment side by side and I unlock the front door before we can head upstairs. "So, how did you know what I was going to ask- before." I wave one hand in the air vaguely while using the other to unlock my apartment door.
"Call it intuition." She whispers.
"Alright." I swing the door to my apartment open. "Make yourself comfortable. I am going to change my clothes and then get something to drink. Do you want anything?"
Santana shakes her head. "Nope." I plan on grabbing a water bottle out of the fridge and settling down on the couch and watching tv for a while until my adrenaline from work wears off.
"Okay." I see her sit down on the couch and it's not until now that I realize that she isn't drunk. I only served her two drinks tonight and one was water. I don't know how much alcohol she had when she was sitting over by Sugar but it couldn't have been that much. This makes me nervous all of a sudden. She has never been over a night after work when she wasn't drunk.
I shuffle into the kitchen after changing my clothes. I put on the t-shirt and shorts that I wear to bed. "Are you sure you don't want anything?" I ask as I pull open the refrigerator.
"Nope. I'm good. Thanks though."
Shutting the fridge I spin on my heels and Santana is sitting there smiling at me from across the room. I smile at her in a shy manner. There are butterflies in my stomach and they are going absolutely crazy.
They don't ease any when I sit down on the opposite end of the couch from Santana. I flip on the tv and turn to one of the local channels that has reruns of Cops on at this time of night.
"So, I hope you don't mind but I always watch a little bit of tv before I go to bed. Gotta unwind."
"It's fine. I like Cops. I might fall asleep on you though. I am pretty tired. Guess I'm not used to staying up so late like you."
"Yeah."
The silence after that is comfortable. We watch one episode like that. Just the sounds from the tv echoing through the room. I look over at Santana few times. The last time I catch her as her eyes are fluttering closed and her head bobs forward before snapping back up and her eyes blink open.
"Tired?"
She turns at the sound of my voice. I can tell that she is definitely tired but she is fighting it to stay awake with me.
"No." She shakes her head and lies.
"Don't lie. It's not very becoming of you." I reach over to the armrest of the couch where the remote sits and turn the tv off. "We can go to bed."
"Good." I hear her mumble. I get up and step around the couch and motion towards the bedroom. She looks at me with raised eyebrows. I can tell that she wants sleep more than anything but something is holding her back.
"Are you coming?" I ask. "Don't be scared, I don't bite. Well, unless-" I stop short of what I was going to say. It's probably not best to start with sexual references right now.
"Brittany." Santana nearly shrieks my name, obviously, catching on to my words.
"I'm just kidding. Take it easy." I hold my hand out for her to take, hoping the action is innocent and comforting. A peace offering so to speak. A promise.
"I'm not scared, by the way." She looks down at her feet. "Just a little nervous."
"Well, you have nothing to be nervous about. I promise I won't molest you in your sleep."
Her eyes go wide and I laugh. "You are something else, Santana Lopez. Come on." I jiggle my hand in front of her. Santana looks from my face to my hand and back to my eyes again. I smile my warmest smile for her. She smiles back before taking my hand and I pull her up from the couch.
We head in the direction of my bedroom. I hit the light switch on the hall wall on the way blanketing the room in darkness. Santana's hand squeezes mine as soon as the lights go out. I squeeze her hand back and guide her through the darkness to my room where I push the door open and pull her in behind me. Once we are both in the room I shut the door again. The only reason I keep the door shut is so that Lord Tubbington doesn't come in here while I'm gone and make a mess rummaging about my room.
"Do you want something to sleep in?" "I ask quietly.
"No. I can sleep in this." She has on a sweatshirt and tight skinny jeans.
"Not even some shorts or sweatpants. Jeans aren't very comfortable to sleep in." I let go of her hand and go over to my dresser and take out a pair of each and turn to hold them up to her. "Here. Your pick." She hesitates but after a few seconds Santana reaches out and grabs the sweatpants from my left hand. "You can change. I promise I won't look." I cover my face with the pair of shorts with my hands on top of them. She laughs at me and I spin around so that I am facing away from her too.
After a bunch of rustling and a few odd noises from Santana. "Okay. You can turn around again." I drop my hands from my face and throw the pair of shorts on top of my dresser to deal with at some other time.
She is very cute standing there with her hands in her sweatshirt pocket and my sweatpants on. They are a little long on her but that just makes her even cuter. I want to tell her how cute she looks with my pants on but I don't.
"So…." I nod my head in the direction of the bed. She nods too, up and down.
The awkward journey into bed is next. I crawl in and hold the covers open for her and she looks at the bed apprehensively for a few seconds before walking over and crawling in too. I pull the covers up and over her and start tucking them in around her.
"Brittany." Santana giggles. "What are you doing?"
"I'm tucking you in, silly."
"Oh."
When I'm finished I roll back onto my side of the bed and pull the blankets up to my chin. I glance a look to my right to Santana. She is looking back at me. "What?" I whisper.
Santana shakes her head and rolls on her side facing me. I do the same so that we are facing each other with our faces a few inches apart.
"You are the nicest, bestest person I have ever met. I don't know why you put up with all of my crap but you do. You are a true friend."
"Thanks. But that's what friends are-" My words are cut off by Santana's lips. I am slightly taken aback. But, before I can respond and kiss back, Santana pulls away and tucks her face into the pillow, bashfully.
"What was that for?" My left hand reaches out from under the covers and I graze my fingertips across my lips. I can't quite believe it. She just kissed me, like, on the lips.
"I don't know. I just had to." She mumbles into the pillow.
My body moves before my brain tells it to. I lean over and kiss Santana on the temple. "Okay." I whisper afterwards and return to my original position.
I'm smiling like a idiot once again. "Goodnight Santana."
"Goodnight Britt." She mumbles.