The sounds of the waves crashing against the shore was strong. The scent of salt becoming almost unbearable. Everything about the beach was reminding me of that night.
Jacob's hand warmed mine as we walked down First Beach. Quiet dominating all elements. It was making me uncomfortable. Was he thinking about that night too? He was. Did he want to talk about it? He did.
"Jacob?" I whispered.
"Hmm?"
"Do you want o talk about it?"
"All depends on what it is," he joked half-heartily.
I stared up into his eyes, "You know what."
"Sweetie, you don't have to if your not ready."
"I-I am ready."
I looked out over the dark ocean, letting the breeze hit me straight on, the scent still burned. Something about it was off. That could wait though.
I dropped Jake's hand and started to pace. Back in fourth, but never once leaving his line of sight.
"Jacob, I love you." I finally started.
"Ness, I love you too, but what does that have to do with the other night?" He questioned.
I stopped abruptly, "It was everything to do with it!" I snapped, letting my voice rise; cracking.
He seemed surprised by my outburst; stunned. "Renesmee? What was it? What is it? Please, just tell me. I'm here for you. I love you."
I paced to his side and warapped my arms around his waist. "Jacob, I love you. More than anything. More than my own life, more than air. I need you, I will always need you. You're my everything. With out you I'm nothing….at all." I croaked.
I sat down in the sand at stared out into the dark unknown. He took a seat next to me, close enough for me to feel his heat, but nothing more. I felt tears start well in my eyes. He scouted closer to me."Oh Nessie, I love you too, so, so much." His warm lips came into contact with mine. I pushed away instantly, not wanting to be distracted.
I looked over at Jacob, he seemed hurt; confused. Sadness was evident in his eyes. "Ness, are you- are you…." He trailed off. Did he think I was… breaking up with him? As if that were even possible. Did he just not hear the words that had just escaped my lips?
"Jacob," I whispered. "Did you just not hear every word I spoke. They were true. I love you. I would never leave you. Never."
I turned my whole body toward him scooting as close as I could. Leaning into his warmth I placed a single kiss on his lips. "I love you," I hissed against his lips. I seemed to be saying that a lot tonight.
Suddenly my lips were moving fiercely with his. I was surprised at first, but started to respond.
He kissed me with earnest , his unyielding lips moving roughly against mine. I wound my arms around his neck and moved onto his lap. I forgot where I was, who else might be come around, and my own name.
Jake's hands braided into my hair as my own knotted in his. I knew I had to stop myself before it was to late but I couldn't find it in me. Jake's warmth filled my body, giving me a tingling sensation. I liked this.
Abruptly cold water hit my side, reminding me of where I was. The tide was rising, soaking my clothing. The water stung the exposed skin, bringing me back to the present. I found it in me to pull away.
We found ourselves gasping for air. "Wow," Jacob gasped, his warm breathe fanning across my face.
The tingling sensation faded and I found myself saddened as I remembered the conversation that was taking place. Tears welled in my eyes, blurring my vision as the thoughts of Jake flooded my mind.
"Was that what you were upset about?" Jake hissed into my ear.
"What do you mean?" I croaked. Had I said something? I didn't think I had.
I looked up into his black eyes. He touched my left hand tenderly, indicating it's position.
My left hand rested on his right cheek. "Oh!"
I instantly tried to retract it. But Jacob Caught my hand and held it to his cheek. He seemed to contemplate for a moment.
"Nessie?"
"Yes?" I smiled sheepishly.
"You don't ever worry about that. Ever." He said determined; valiant. " I will always be here. I will never leave."
The tears now flowed freely down my cheeks. "You can't exactly tell God to wait Jake," my voice cracked.
"Renesmee Carlie Cullen," He said seriously, "Do you trust me?"
I didn't have to give it a second thought. " I do."
"Then trust me."
I trusted Jacob with my life, with my families life, with everything. But to take his word for something like this, was above me.
My hand still rested on his cheek. My vision still blurred as the tears flowed relentlessly.
If anything were to ever happen to Jacob I don't know what I'd do. I-I don't think I'd be to far behind him.
"Renesmee!" Jacob growled jumping to his feet; pulling me with him. My hand dropped. What had I done wrong?
The hot water running from my eyes increased.
"I don't ever, ever, want to hear you speak or think about that ever again!" He roared. " If anything ever did happened to me, I would want you to at least try to be happy and live normally. Not, try and - and….." He trailed off. He spun around quickly, but not before I saw the tears run down his russet cheeks.
Oh no. He heard me. He heard me think about me killing myself. How could I be so stupid?
My arms were instantly around his waist. "Jacob?" I sobbed. He didn't answer. "Jacob please!"
Okay. I'm starting to feel really bad. My chapter are sooo SHORT. I will write longer ones. Take my word for it. And REVIEW. PLEASE. Oh and btw peoples. Theres a poll on my page. VOTE. - 3 Laura.