A/N: here's the second update of the day :) I am doing such a good job :p hihi.

Chapter 16.

Blaine rubs his eyes before opening them. He blinks against the sun light that shines in the room, stretches himself out and runs a hand through his hair. He feels something soft fall on his shoulder and when he looks at it he sees it is hair. No no this can't be happening I must be dreaming. he pinches himself ouch he waits a moment and then carefully runs his hand through his hair again and when he looks at his hand it's covered in hair. fuck Blaine sits up and looks at the pillow. He doesn't like what he sees, no he doesn't like it at all. He wants to scream or cry but all he does is just sit there. He doesn't want this to happen not now. He let himself fall back in the pillows turns on his stomach and buries his face in his pillow. He hears someone scream but then he realises it's him and he stops immediately. No one can know. He turns on his side but when he feels that's hurting too much he rolls over to his back. It's hot in the room, too hot. Why did I ask Lucy to close the window? He kicks the duvet down until there's a soft thud which lets Blaine know it has fallen on the ground. He curses under his breath but doesn't make moves to stand up and put it back on the bed. He just lays there. He looks at the ceiling and then at Lucy, she's asleep. He doesn't even want to know what time it is so he refuses to look at the alarm clock on his nightstand. 'I want to go home' he whispers to himself. He curls up in a little ball and lays still repeating that sentence over and over again.

Kurt sighs when he looks at the alarm clock. He had to work overtime which means he had to sleep on the camp bed in his office. He almost never did that but it had been so busy yesterday and it was a little useless to go back home sleep for three hours and come back so he decided to stay. He fell asleep with his clothes on and they're ruffled now, other people wouldn't have minded because he has to wear a lab coat over it anyway, but Kurt did mind. He stands up and tries to smooth his clothes. He opens the door of his office and then closes it behind him. He walks through the hallway and stops in front of a door which he opens with a four numbered code. He steps into a room and turns on the lights. He's in the staff bathroom. He looks in the mirror and isn't all too happy with which he's greeted by. He considers to take a quick shower but then abandons the idea, he fixes his hair and takes one of the toothbrushes that lay there. He tears off the plastic and takes it out. He brushes his teeth rinses his mouth and then throws the toothbrush away. He looks at his watch, ten minutes before he has to start his round. If he hurries he can bring a quick visit to Lucy and Blaine. Kurt hopes they're still asleep because that means he can just stare at Blaine. He really does look peaceful when he sleeps. Kurt wonders if he looks like that too when he's asleep, probably not. so when he opens the door to their room he is a little blindsided by the sight. He walks to Blaine's bed, on tiptoes scared to wake Lucy who definitely is still asleep. 'Blaine why are you awake?' Blaine lies with his face to the wall so he's back is facing the door, and Kurt. 'Blaine?' Kurt tries but there's still no answer. Kurt moves his hand but then stops when it hovers above Blaine's shoulder. He quickly pulls his hand back and tries again with his voice. 'Blaine?' There's still no answer and this time Kurt really touches Blaine's shoulder, softly but as reaction to it Blaine turns around so he faces Kurt. It looks like he has been crying, his eyes are red rimmed and his respiration is quick. 'Blaine have you been crying?' Kurt whispers. Blaine nods but the gesture is so small that Kurt almost missed it. 'What's wrong?' Kurt asks him but he doesn't answer. Kurt sits on the edge of the bed and carefully wraps and arm around Blaine's shoulder. 'Are you okay Blaine? Are you in pain?' He shakes his head. 'Not in pain? So that's good, are you nauseous?' He shakes his head again. 'Tired?' Again a negative answer. 'Then what is it? You can tell me' Blaine looks at him with big scared eyes. Kurt start to rub his back which he hopes is a soothing gesture. Blaine opens his mouth and it looks like he finally is going to say something but then he doesn't and closes his mouth again. Kurt's hand slowly goes up to Blaine's hairline but then he pulls away. He looks scared and Kurt wants nothing more than to help him but he can't if Blaine isn't telling him anything. 'Do you want to talk with someone else? Lauren or Julliet or maybe your parents?' Blaine furiously shakes his head. 'Ssh it's okay it's okay' Kurt whispers. 'Do you want me to leave?' Blaine looks at Kurt and then clings to him. I take that as a no.

'don't go' he says almost inaudible and those are the first words Kurt heard him say today.

'I'm not going anywhere okay, I'm staying with you' Kurt says on a comforting tone.

Blaine looks at him 'I- my hair is falling out' he says it so soft and so quick that Kurt didn't hear it.

'Blaine can you repeat that I didn't hear you'

Blaine gives Kurt a look that says please-don't-make-me-repeat-that but Kurt smiles reassuringly and then Blaine repeats, slower this time. And then Kurt understands what got him in this state. Kurt knows how hard this is, not because he has experienced it but because he has seen it so many times. Mostly the girls they always cry and Kurt hates it. Those are the moments that Kurt intensely hates his job but then he thinks of the good moments the moments when he can tell them that they're clean that they survived that everything is okay. But this moment sucks and there's nothing he can do about it. Kurt looks at Blaine and sees the tears well in his eyes. Kurt whispers soothing words in Blaine's ear and when he says that everything will be alright Blaine starts sobbing. Heavy sobs but he tries to keep them in so they sound soft. 'I don't want to wake Lucy' he whispers.

Kurt is proud of Blaine because even in this situation when he feels like crap he thinks of others, thinks of not waking Lucy. Kurt smiles at Blaine and he smiles back but it's not a real smile, it's a smile that doesn't reach his eyes doesn't make them twinkle. Kurt looks at Blaine's hair and when Blaine notices he runs a hand through it. He doesn't even look at his hand after doing that because he knows what he will see and he doesn't want to see it, not again. Kurt sees though, he isn't shocked, he has seen it multiple times. After a long moment of silence Blaine finally looks Kurt in the eye. 'Do you want me to shave it off?' Kurt asks softly not wanting to let Blaine cry because of his comment. 'We don't have to but I think that's better than seeing it fall out slowly right?'

'All at once is better' Blaine whispers. He curls up against Kurt and he can see that Blaine is fighting against his tears.

'It will all be alright I promise' Kurt tries to comfort him.

'Are you ready?' Kurt had taken Blaine to another room so they wouldn't wake Lucy.

'I think so' he whispers. 'Can I can I look one last time?'

'Of course' Kurt says and hands Blaine the mirror. Blaine looks at himself at his dark curly hair that isn't gelled down for once. That' a lie actually he hadn't gelled it since he was in the hospital. Kurt sees that Blaine looks away from the mirror 'ready?'

'Yes' he says self assured even though he doesn't feels like that at all.

'Here we go' Kurt says as he turns on the clippers Blaine bites his lip to keep himself from crying as he sees the strands of hair fall down. 'Blaine' Kurt says after he turned off the clippers. He walks around the chair Blaine is sitting in and kneels so he's on eye level with Blaine. 'You don't have to keep yourself from crying, it's okay to cry. You can't always be strong and that's okay' Kurt sees a tear stream down his face followed by another one and another one and it goes on and on.

Blaine looks at Kurt with teary eyes. 'Y-you can go o-on' it breaks Kurt's heart to see this and to do it makes it break into a thousand pieces. But he knows he has to do it and now he has tot be the strong one, for Blaine.

This is the second time Kurt turns off the clippers but after this time he won't turn it on again. 'All done' he says in a soft voice. 'Do you want to see?' He asks softly, he doesn't want to push Blaine. He nods which Kurt takes as a yes and hands him the mirror. Blaine takes a quick look and then puts it away.

'Blaine where were you? I woke up and you weren't there and-' she swallows the rest of her words as she sees Blaine's hair. Or better as he doesn't see it. It takes a moment for her to realise but then she rattles on because she thinks it's better if she just acts normal but he interrupts her.

'Lucy I have to tell you something' she nods as a sign for him to continue. 'I'm sorry Lucy but we're not going to grease at least I'm not going, not like this.'

She looks sad but isn't going to give up this easily. 'No one will notice, it's dark in there and the people who do notice know, they know. So it doesn't matter and if they do notice then let them.'

'I'm sorry I can't, I'm going to text Rachel, I am really sorry Lucy' she looks desperate at Kurt. But he jut looks sad and defeated not knowing what to do but that can't be Kurt always knows what to do he always has a solution for everything.

'Please' she whispers a tear falling down.

'I'm sorry'

'I'm not going without you'

'I'm sorry but if you're not going without me then you're not going at all. I'm sorry, I know it's really selfish because I know how bad you wanted to go but I can't do this. I am really sorry and I hope you can forgive me' and with those words he just leaves the room. He has to get away, away from them. He decides to text Rachel so at least that's done.

"I'm sorry Rach but we're not coming. Break a leg. Blaine."

In less than a minute he gets a reply.

"why? What's wrong?"

"Kurt doesn't want us to go, I'm sorry"

It's easier to say that than tell the real reason and explain everything.

"I'm coming to the hospital now! I'm going to tell Kurt that he has to let you guys go"

Shit that can't happen she can't come think think Blaine.

"no Rach don't work yourself up about it there will be other shows and I'll be there then."

"Blaine please, at least let me try it"

"Rach please don't"

"okay."

'Blaine?' He ignores both Lucy and Kurt when he comes back in the room. 'Blaine please listen to me, what if you wear a beanie or a cap? Or what if I shave my hair too?'

'Yeah and me too' Kurt adds but hopes with whole his being that that isn't necessary. He would do it though, for Blaine.

'If you two do that I'm never speaking to you guys again.'

'I have to go now but Blaine please think about it' Kurt tries and then leaves. Blaine lays down on his bed. He sets his jaw and squeezes his eyes shut. He is quiet, Lucy is quiet but he still hears a voice. Rachel. I should have known. He opens his eyes and sees her standing in the doorframe.

'Blaine? Why didn't you just tell me?'

'Tell what? Tell that I'm not coming because I'm scared? Because I'm scared that people will see me like this, scared they will laugh or just look at me , scared if the looks. Should I have told you that?! Should I have told you that I am a coward!' He yells and then breaks down into tears. Rachel rushes to him and hugs him tightly.

'Ssh it's okay, you're not a coward. You're brave Blaine so brave.'

'I'm not Rachel I'm not, I can't even go out in public because I'm scared people will look at me.'

'But what are you so scared off? Why would you care about those people? You don't know them and they don't know you what matters is the people who do know you and they don't mind I'm sure about that. So just let them think and let them look and go have a nice evening tomorrow' she smiles 'and don't forget to wear white, I expect you guys at seven at the entrance but the artist entrance okay?'

Blaine shakes his head 'thanks Rach but-'

'I'm not taking no for an answer Blaine Devon Anderson' he thinks about it and what is really the worst that can happen? People see but so what? I don't know them they don't know me, Rachel is right.

'We're coming' he says determined and now Lucy finally dares to speak.

'Are we really going?'

'Yes'

she smiles so bright that it looks like her smile is going to split her face in half but it isn't cause when she finally stops smiling she looks happier than ever before. 'I'm gonna go tell Kurt' she says and skips off to the hallway.

'Promise me that I'll see you tomorrow, then I'll promise you in return that you'll see the famous Rachel Berry' she says grinning.

'Deal'

she smiles 'it will do you good, I promise. Everyone missed you. Every time I tell I've seen you they ask how you are and when they'll see you again and when I told them that you're coming to the show everyone was so happy and determined to make it the best show ever.' He wants to wipe away a single tears that drops down his cheek but she did before he could.

'it really means a lot'

she smiles and hugs him one last time. 'I'll see you tomorrow Blainey' and for this time he doesn't mind and just lets her call him that but the next time she'll get it, but for now it's okay, let her have her fun for once.