Chapter 17: Misunderstanding

On the way back home all I can think about is what Sugar said when we first got there. About Santana and I being together. And we aren't. We're not together, but we have kissed quite a few times now, and I love being around her, and I think I might love her, but we aren't together.

But I think I want us to be. I think I want to be able to call her my girlfriend. I want to introduce her to people as my girlfriend. I want to spend all of my free time with her. I want her to be my first thought when I wake up in the morning and my last thought at night before I go to bed. I want to hang out on my days off. I want to meet her friends and family and I want her to meet mine.

I sigh and look over at her when I pull up to a red light. Her head rests against the side window. And she looks sad or like she is thinking about something too. She hasn't really said much at all this afternoon. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to bring her with me to Sugar's house. It has definitely ruined the dynamic we had going this morning when she showed up at my apartment unannounced.

"Hey." I reach over and pat her on the cast.

"Hmm." She hums but doesn't look at me.

"Are you alright?" I ask. I can't help but think something is wrong. Something is definitely up with her.

"Yeah. Just tired I think."

"Oh." I say. A car honks from behind me. I look up and the light is green. I hit the gas and make the rest of the journey home.

I unlocked my apartment door and let Santana in before me. "Do you want something to drink?"

Santana slumps down onto the couch. "Alcohol would really be good right now."

I scrunch my face up. "I don't have any."

"You're a famous bartender and know all the greatest alcoholic drinks on the planet but you don't have any alcohol in your apartment?"

"No. I don't drink."

"What? Are you fucking kiddin me?" Santana sits up and looks up at me with wide eyes.

"No."

"Like at all?"

"Nope. Not at all." I shrug. I don't see what the big deal is. I don't drink alcohol. I never have. It's just something that I don't do. It might be a little strange but it makes sense to me.

"Why not?"

"I don't know. Because of my job maybe. I see all of these people come in and get all sorts of fucked up on a regular basis. Time after time. I just never wanted to do that."

"Soooo?" She lifts one eyebrow higher than the other. "People like me?" She points her finger to her chest.

I through my hands up in front of me in defense. "I didn't say that." That's not what I mean. That's not what I meant by that.

Santana gets up and stomps over to where I'm standing in front of the refrigerator.

"I was talking about the guys that are in the bar four or five days a week. Drinking and drinking. Alcoholic types. The regulars that come in every day and drink. Not you."

"Are you sure?" She says in a low voice and gets all up in my face. Her body an inch or so from bumping up against mine. Her eyes locked with mine searching for an answer.

I scrunch my face up. "Yeah, I'm sure. Listen, what is this really about? I feel like I'm missing a crucial piece of information." Things just don't seem to be adding up here.

"Nothing." She folds her arms over her chest and looks away from me.

"Hey." I say in my softest voice. I can't even be upset. Something is going on here. I reach out with my right hand and touch her forearm. "What's up? You've been quiet all afternoon. Plus, nothing is always more than nothing, which means it's gotta be something."

She huffs a frustrated breathe. "Come on tell me. Is it something to do with today? Did Sugar upset you? Is it something that I did? I know I shouldn't have brought you with me and subjected you to Sugar's harassment. I should have gone by myself or rescheduled with Sugar. I should have done it differently."

She turns back to face me and stare at me. Like really stares. Hard, angry, staring eyes. "I told you that I like you this morning." She growls out.

"And I like you too Santana." I really don't understand.

"No. Just listen. I told you that I liked you." She stops speaking and looks down between us at her feet. "And I don't take things like that lightly. And then we went over to your friend's house and you basically shot anything and everything down when Sugar asked about us. I thought that maybe we were going somewhere but maybe I was wrong."

"Oh." I see what the problem is now.

"You said it would be fine- when we went to Sugar's. You said- you promised." Santana mumbles and lifts her head to look up at me through her eyelashes.

"I know and I'm sorry. And I really like you, I do. I just wanted Sugar to shut her damn trap." It's the truth. I just wanted Sugar to stop talking about Santana and I. I wanted her to shut the fuck up about what we are when I don't even know what Santana and I are right now. Something more than friends, perhaps, but something less than girlfriends.

Santana looks like she's about ready to cry. I don't want that. That's the last thing that I ever want. I step forward and wrap my arms around her. She stiffens at first but after a couple of seconds she relaxes and her whole body slumps into mine. Her face buried into my shoulder.

"Hey. It's okay." I rub my hands up and down her back when a little whimper escapes from her. "It's okay." I assure her.

"I'm sorry. I'm just tired. I didn't sleep much last night. I was up half the night thinking- thinking about the future." Santana pulls back slightly until she is looking up at me. I give her my best, warmest smile. "I was thinking about work and what I might do. I thought about my mom and my dad. And I thought about you. Mostly about you though."

I tilt my head to the side and give her a curious look. "Is that so?" She nods. "Tell me more."

"I thought about much how I liked you. And I thought about the kisses that we have shared." She ducks her head timidly but continues. "I thought about how nice you are and about everything that you have done for me. I thought about those beautiful blue eyes of yours. You can understand why I didn't get much sleep?"

"Oh, I understand completely. I've been thinking a lot about you too. On the way home from Sugar's that's all I was thinking about actually."

"Really?" Santana looks at me with curious brown eyes. I nod. "And?" She asks timidly.

"Santana, you make me so, so happy. And it's not in the ways you might think. It's the little things. Sure, I love your kisses and your laugh and those dimples when you smile. And how you are so awesome. I don't even know. There's a whole list of things about you that I like that I could come up with but we would be here all day."

She giggles a little. "And that cute little giggle."

"Britt."

"I don't know what's going to happen a month from now, or six months from now, or six years from now, but I was thinking that I want you to be a part of that. I want to spend all of my time with you. I want you to meet my family. I want to take you out on romantic dates. I want to cuddle on the couch on Sunday afternoons watching movies. I think I'm addicted to you and I want to be around you all of the time."

"What are you saying?"

"I want you to be my girlfriend, Santana." I just come out with it. "What do you think?"

She bites her bottom lip in between her teeth. It feels like minutes pass by but it's probably only a couple of seconds before she gives me a response. "I think I would like that."

"Okay." I let go of her and she gives me that confused scrunchy face look. I drop down onto one knee in front of her and hold out a hand towards her. She gives me her right hand. "Santana Lopez, will you be my girlfriend?"

"Yes." She says immediately with a cute little chuckle. "You're a dork." She adds.

I stand up again. "Yes, but I'm your dork now."

"True."

I lean down and connect our lips, soft and slow. Sweet and tender. Perfect.

"Maybe now my mother will quit nagging me about getting serious with someone." Santana giggles. "She's going to be thrilled when I tell her that I have a girlfriend. Maybe not so thrilled when I tell her it's you."

I cock my head to the side. "Huh?"

"Oh, it's nothing. She just thinks, for some reason, that we- I- we were hooking up a while back now."

"Uh." What am I suppose to say to that?

"Don't worry Britt. Everything will be straightened out now. No pun intended."

I laugh. "Alright. I trust you San."

"But-" Santana takes a long pause and licks her lips slowly. She really shouldn't do that because it just makes me want to kiss them. "-there is one more thing that I want to do before we tell anyone."

"What is it?" I ask.

"I want to take you out on our first date."

"Santana." I wanted to take her out.

"No. Brittany, I insist. I want to start out right. Proper. A first date should be the first step, right?"

"I guess that makes sense." If she insists, hell, I'm not gonna stop her. "So, when's this date gonna be?"

"Well, seeing as you work Friday nights how about next Saturday night after you get done with work. Will that work out for you?"

"Definitely."

"Good." Santana says with a big yawn.

"You really are tired, aren't you?" I ask. She nods. "Would you like to stay overnight?"

"I would like to but- uh- I haven't been home all day. I left my mother a note this morning before I left but I should probably go home."

"Or you could just call your mom and tell her that you are staying the night at your girlfriend's house." I suggest. I really don't want her to go home. Not after what just happened. Not after we just sorta got together, officially.

"Brittany."

"What?" I say as innocently as I possibly can.

"I can't do that. I can't just call up my mom and tell her I have a girlfriend now."

I nod. "Sure you can." I argue my point. Not very well though.

"No. I want to tell her in person. And, if possible, with you there with me."

I smile at her. She is just the best thing on earth. "Come here." I pull her to me. "You are the absolute best. But, you should call her, leave out the whole girlfriend part out, and tell her you are staying at my place, a friends house."

With a shy smile and tired sleepy eyes she agrees. "Okay. I will."

"I'm gonna go in the bedroom. Come in when you are done, okay?" I tell her and rub my hands up and down her arms once and then let her go to make her phone call.

"How'd it go?" I ask when Santana appears in the bedroom doorway.

"Good. I told her I was staying here tonight. But, you know it is Sunday and I have to get up early tomorrow for work."

"Yeah. I know. I got some pajamas out for you." My right hand pats the pajamas that are sitting next to me on the bed.

"Thanks Britt." She comes over by me and picks up the clothing. "I'm gonna go change in the bathroom." She nods over her shoulder before turning to leave the room.

I follow her out of the room and go to the kitchen and turn off the lights there. I check on Lord Tubbington who is sleeping on the couch. "Night, Lord T." I whisper and kiss him on the head. I turn the light off there and go back to my room to wait for Santana.

A few minutes go by before she pops back into the room. "I thought we could watch a movie until we fall asleep."

"That sounds great."

She climbs into bed next to me like it's no big deal. I'm glad that it isn't. She's been here before. In my bed. I'm glad that Santana feels comfortable enough here. It puts me at ease that she is at ease.

I start the dvd on the tv across from the end of my bed. After that I pull the covers up over us when she settles into the spot next to me.

"What are we watching?" Santana asks. I can already hear the sleepiness creeping into her voice.

"Dodgeball."

"Oh, I like that one. Though, I'll probably fall asleep about halfway through."

The movie plays and I can tell that Santana is having a hard time staying awake. I nudge her with my elbow and she turns away from the tv to look at me with an eyebrow raised. I lift my right arm and she gets the idea.

She scoots over until she is nuzzled tight into my side. Her head resting on my shoulder and my arm coming around to wrap Santana up into my body. She sighs contently. I stretch my neck so that I can kiss her on the top of the head. "Go to sleep." I whisper to her. She hums in response.

It's not more than five minutes before I know she is asleep. The grip her right hand had on my t-shirt has loosened and her hand lays limp on my stomach now. The movie is only just over half finished. Santana was correct when she said she wouldn't make it halfway through.

I'll watch the rest of the movie and then go to sleep myself. But just laying here with her snuggled next to me feels better than I thought it would. I might have a hard time falling asleep because of how peaceful and beautiful she looks in her sleep. Like she doesn't have any problems. Like there aren't thoughts plaguing her mind. Like she doesn't have major decisions to make. I just want to watch her sleep.

I would love for this to happen every night. To fall asleep next to her. It would be amazing. Maybe one day.

I have a tray of drinks for a table full of customer's that are sitting in the dining room. Four females. They are probably in their early to mid twenties I would guess. My concentration is on not spilling any of the four drinks and four shots on my tray.

I hear the door bell chime to alert me that there is a new customer. I keep my focus on the task at hand. I round the corner into the dining room and slowly make my way over to the table.

One of the ladies smiles big up at me from her seat once I reach the table. I set the tray down and distribute the drinks to everyone. They thank me and I stand up, back straight, with the tray pinched between my arm and my side. The blonde lady nearest to me throws her shot back. Her eyes go wide as she swallows.

"Is there anything else-" I freeze mid-sentence. My eyes are covered. Someone has their hands over them. "Uh?"

"Guess who?" Is whispered, low, in my ear.

"Santana." I snap around. My back to the table now. "What are you doing here?"

She smiles that big Santana smile as soon as our eyes meet. "I came to see you. But- uh-" She points over my shoulder.

I turn back around and the table of women are looking at me curiously. "Sorry. Is there anything else that I can get for you lovely ladies right now?"

The table murmurs a bunch of no's and no thank you's. "Alright you know where to find me if you need anything." I tell them before turning my attention elsewhere.

I spin back around and Santana is gone. The smile that was gracing my face slips a little bit but I know she couldn't have gotten too far. I skip over to the bar. Yes, actually skip. I put the tray down on the counter and devote all my attention to the beautiful woman sitting across from me. "What are you doing here?"

"You already asked that and is it not okay for me to come see my girlfriend for a surprise visit at work?"

My smile beams again. Girlfriend. I really love the sound of that. "No. It's totally okay."

"Good. So how is it tonight going?" Santana asks.

I look around the bar. For a Thursday night it kinda average. "A little slow. Compared to last week that is. Some Thursday's are super busy and some are on the slower side. I think it depends on a lot of things but I won't get into them with you right now. How was your day?"

She shrugs. She taps her cast casually against the bar top. "Not too bad. Same old stuff. Insurance. Insurance. Insurance. My mom asked me if I've made a decision yet."

"And? Did you?" I can't help but cut in.

She gives me a half smile. "Not yet."

"Oh." I try not to sound too disappointed. It's her life and her future but I can't help but think that it's mine too.

She smirks. "Who do I need to bang to get a drink around here."

Whoa. Where did that come from? I feel the tips of my ears tinge red. Good thing it's dark in here and no one can tell except for maybe Santana.

"Uh- um- what?" I stutter. Shit.

She giggles at me. "Just get me a root beer, Britt. Please and thank you."

I nod and walk away from her to get her beverage. Trying to shake off the weirdness I feel after Santana's inappropriate comment. I don't know if I can explain the feeling. Uncomfortable isn't the right word. Anxious doesn't quite fit either. Something that's somewhere in between. My stomach feels like it's full of butterflies and I feel a little lightheaded. It's a strange feeling. But a very good strange feeling.

When I return she is watching the tv. "Whatcha watching? Anything good?" I set her bottle of root beer down in front of her and she smiles in thanks.

"Naa. Just the NBA."

"You seems to know a lot about sports." It's just another little something I've observed about Santana.

"Yeah. When I was a kid I would sit with my dad in the basement and watch whatever he was watching. Usually sports. Football, basketball, tennis, soccer, all the major sports really. But that was when I was a kid."

I can hear the twinge of sadness in her voice. "Hey, so you ready for Saturday?"

Her smile is back. "Fuck yeah. I can't wait."

"Me too." I smile back at her. She doesn't say anything and neither do I. We stare at each other for I don't know how long. I hear my name from somewhere down the bar. "I'll be right back." I whisper to Santana. I don't know why I'm whispering.

"Okay." She whispers back.

I turn and it breaks whatever little magical bubble we were in.

I come back but Santana is getting off of her barstools. "Hey."

"Hey." I mimic.

"I'm gonna get going. Oh, don't give me that look Britt. I wish I could stay but I need to get home. I told my mom I wouldn't be late. But-" She reaches out with her right hand. I take it with my own. "-I will see you on Saturday night."

I smile and nod like a love struck idiot. Probably because I am. "Look at you being all responsible." I comment.

She squeezes my hand and smiles that big smile. The one where her nose scrunches up ever so slightly and the dimples in her cheeks make an appearance. "I will pick you up, here, at eight. That's when you get done, right?"

"Right."

"Okay, see ya then." She pulls back on my hand. But I don't let her go.

"Wait, does that mean you won't be in here tomorrow night."

She ducks her head and shakes it. "I have a family thing that I have to attend."

"Oh." I'm a little disappointed that I won't be seeing Santana again until our date two days from now but I can't do much about it. "Okay. See you on Saturday then."

"I'll text you." She says and pulls her hand out of mine.

"Okay. Bye." I am a little sad to see her leave so soon but am happy that she came in and surprised me. I wave at her when she turns around at the door and smiles at me.