In the words of Graham Chapman, "I'm afraid it's all got silly." There, I admit it. I don't own Rocky Horror, or the X-Files, but I can't be the first depraved authoress who thought of putting the two together!

For the X-Files portion of the chapter, it follows my alternate timeline set in "For Real?" The only change made is that after an undercover mission posing as a married couple, Mulder and Scully get engaged. Cuteness ensues.

Denton OH

9:45 PM EST

March 2, 1976?

Mulder stops the car, he and Scully wear identical expressions of surprise and confusion. Snow is coming down hard all around them.

"You okay?"

Scully nods, "You?" Mulder checks himself over and nods as well. "Did you see that?"

"It wasn't so much that I saw it, it was more of a feeling. Like..."

"Like we passed through something?" Scully suggests. They consider this for a moment and both start at the implications. Immediately, they check their watches. "What time was it, the last you saw?" Scully asks urgently.

"9:43, and that was a little bit ago," he replies. They both let out a sigh of relief with a nervous laugh. Eliminating alien abduction from the list of possibilities, they take stock of the situation.

"Where are we?" Scully asks, opening the glove compartment and unfolding a road map. She digs in her purse, slips on her glasses, and flicks on the overhead light, retracing their steps on the map.

Mulder pauses thoughtfully, remembering the past few days on the road and their general direction. "Hmm, now, if we made that left turn at Albuquerque..."

"Get your directions from Bugs Bunny, Mulder?" she teases, not even looking up. "We should still be somewhere in Ohio. We bypassed Columbus before the storm blew in. Wherever we are, I don't feel safe going much further tonight. Let's just find a motel and see how it looks in the morning."

Mulder puts the car back in drive and they creep forward cautiously. Barely able to see past the hood, and wary of spinouts, both are unnaturally quiet. Within ten minutes, they reach a town. No sign of life is to be seen. Not a single sign is lit, all the houses are dark. To the two FBI agents, this strikes a rather ominous chord, adding to their precarious situation.

Scully suddenly points ahead, "Look, Mulder! There's a light!" He sees it, too. In glaring contrast to the surrounding darkness, one house is entirely lit up.

"Let's hope whoever's home is friendly," Mulder remarks dryly, parking in the street. Scully reaches into the back seat and pulls out an umbrella. Putting it up so they both fit under it, they trudge though the snow up the front walk. Mulder rings the doorbell, his arm tight around his partner/fiancée. A man opens the door, giving the pair an uncertain look.

"Hi. Sorry to bother you so late. I'm Fox Mulder, this is my partner, Dana Scully." Not wanting to admit that he's lost, he alters the story a little off the cuff, "We're having some car trouble out here; could we use your phone?"

The man at the door makes a noise, like he's choking back a laugh. Trying to keep a straight face, he looks from one to the other and opens the door wider. "I think you'd better come inside. My name's Brad Majors, welcome to Denton." He steps aside and they enter. Scully puts down the umbrella and shakes it out and tosses it aside. Again, they hear their host snigger.

"Is something funny?" Scully asks sharply.

"No, it's...nothing. Here, I'll take your coats." They peel off their wet coats and hand them to Brad, who disappears into the laundry room. Another member of the household follows him in, a pale young woman with wild red hair. Mulder and Scully can hear snatches of their conversation.

"Psst, hey, 'Genta, listen to this!" Indistinct whispering is heard, followed by a loud and menacing cackle. "Shhh!"

Mulder brushes his hands through his damp hair. "I wonder what's so funny."

With a slight shiver, Scully agrees, "Yeah, me, too. Trust our luck to end up in a houseful of weirdoes." Their eyes meet, both smirk at the irony of what she'd just said. Both subtly check their weapons and give the place a once-over. All around the room are personal items and pieces of technology that date back at least 25 years ago. Rabbit ears on the TV, a record and 8-track player, wood paneling, no sign of anything more recent than the mid-70s. Tossing away a slide-rule she'd curiously picked up off a desk, Scully sighs, "What kind of a place is this?" As if emphasizing the situation, more laughter is heard in another room. No doubt, someone else was just informed of their mysteriously amusing predicament. Mulder pauses at a corkboard on the wall and stops dead in his tracks. Cautiously, Scully goes to him, and like him, freezes. They both stare at the calendar that's tacked up in front of them.

"Oh, no. No. N-O. I refuse to...Ugh! After everything we just...that's it, I quit! I've had enough!"

"Scully..."

"Mulder, no! This is not possible. That would just be silly!"

"Well, that could explain that weird sensation we got back there."

Scully glowers, rounding on him and pointing accusingly to the calendar, "1976?? That cannot be right! It's imposs...it's..." she trails off, well on the way to a panic attack.

"Scully," he intones calmingly. She shakes her head defiantly, still pointing agape at the calendar. Mulder takes her by the shoulders, whispers, "Dana," and draws his hands down her arms. It's then that Brad returns to the scene

"You guys okay? Make yourselves comfortable. Did you two have a near miss or something?"

"We're fine," Mulder assures him as he and Scully sit on the couch. Practically on top of each other, Brad notices, as if they can't bear to be separated.

"You call this fine?" Scully hisses.

"I'm going to throw your jackets in the dryer as soon as the last load's out. So what do you do? Where are you from?"

"We're, uh, in law enforcement," Scully answers mildly, "In D.C."

"Oh, that's nice. Work together long?"

"About six years," Mulder says, taking Scully's lead on not disclosing much. Brad then spots Scully's ring.

"You're engaged?" She nods, smiling a little. "To him?"

"Well, my choices were either to kill him or marry him. And the morgue was full." She and Mulder smirk at each other, touching hands delicately, while Brad looks noticeably worried. "It's a joke," Scully explains, "Occupational humor. I'm a doctor, too."

"And you deal with...dead people?" Brad asks hesitantly with distaste.

"Oh, yeah," Mulder answers for her with a grin. "She's up to her elbows in corpses some days."

"I don't think I want to know what you get up to your elbows in," she shoots back. Mulder ignores this and turns back to their host.

"So how come this is the only place in town with any lights on?"

"We're the only house in town with a backup generator," Brad answers, hoping they won't ask to see it; it's not exactly an Earth device. They'd salvaged it from the castle recently and managed to integrate it into their house. "The ice took the power lines down and the snow won't let the maintenance people in to repair them."

"So, no phone," Mulder summarizes.

"No, but I figured you'd be better off in here than out there." Behind him, Mulder and Scully see three more people peek out from around a corner, then, as one, they all pull back. Wondering what his unexpected guests were looking at, Brad turns around in his seat. In the shadows, he sees the others hanging back nervously.

"Guys, come on out. It's fine. These people just got lost in the storm so they're waiting it out here. This is Fox Mulder and Dana Scully. They're from the capitol; isn't that interesting?"

Two women and a man cautiously creep out from hiding. Even by 70's standards they're rather oddly dressed, at least the red-haired woman and her male companion. The blonde woman looks a bit closer to fitting in, but all three of them are equally pale as death.

"My wife, Janet; her brother, Rick and sister, Margot," Brad introduces. Mulder and Scully nod in greeting, both of them noticing that 'Rick' and 'Margot' remain awfully close together, his arms tight around his sister, they stare out with a seemingly singular gaze. Janet leaves the protection of her brother and hovers close to Brad.

"So, you said you're with the police? Either of you ever take a bullet?" Brad asks, trying to sound tough.

"Yes, actually," Scully answers, sharing a grin with her fiancé, figuring it would make a good story. His look says he'll go right along with her.

"Really? Someone shot you?!" Janet exclaims.

"He did," Scully clarifies, jerking her head at Mulder.

Brad looks at him in shock, waiting for him to deny it or have it be another one of their morbid jokes. Instead, he nearly gets a confession.

"Well, she started it!"

"I did not! We both know--" and they begin talking over each other confusingly, lightly bickering over who shot who first on the Christmas Eve they'd recently spent in a haunted house. "You shot me, then I shot you." Mulder nods conceding defeat. For all appearances, they'd been arguing over something no more significant than whose turn it was to take out the garbage.

"You're right, you're right," Mulder admits. "Did I ever say sorry for that?"

"No, but you don't have to. You saved my life." For the first time since it had happened, Scully ponders what would have happened if Mulder hadn't broken the illusion, if she'd believed she'd been mortally wounded so absolutely that…no, she stops that train of thought before it gets too weird. She gazes contently at her partner, stroking his hand with a sincere smile.

As if guessing her thoughts, Mulder leans in close, murmuring, "I love you." They share a soft kiss, forgetting for the moment that they're not alone. Scully comes back to her senses first, and breaks the mood by giving him a playful shove

A buzzer sounds in the laundry room, and Brad gets up to throw his unexpected guests' coats in the dryer. An awkward silence has descended upon the remaining occupants of the room; they eye each other uncomfortably. Mulder takes a stab at striking up a conversation with the three siblings.

"So, you guys from around here?"

"Yes!" Janet answers, a little too quickly, "We all are." Taking her cue, her brother and sister not in confirmation, all three look rather alarmed. They hear the dryer start and a few seconds later, Brad returns with something in his hand. Mulder and Scully both recognize their ID wallets that had been in their coat pockets.

"You're…you're…" Brad falters. He flips one open and shows the others. They all draw back, now looking fearfully at their guests. "You're with the FBI?" He hands them their IDs, looking very nervous.

Scully smiles wanly, "We're trying to keep a low profile."

Janet forces a look of transparent nonchalance. "Wow, that's…exciting…isn't it? Around here we hardly even ever see the fire truck. What's you're…uh, field?"

"Paranormal investigations. We call it the X-Files," Mulder explains with a touch of pride in his voice. Scully brings a hand to her forehead, annoyed at her partner's lack of discretion. Trust him to be defiantly blatant when the last thing they needed was to attract attention.

"I feel sick," 'Margot' announces with disgust, dragging her eerily silent brother with her back to their room. He gives them a look of malevolent suspicion before following her.

Scully tries to brush it off, "We tend to have that effect on people."

Mulder grins at Brad and Janet, pointing from one to the other. "Do you believe in extraterrestrials? That they're among us?"

"Yes," they answer strongly in unison, surprising the agents. Janet continues, exchanging a fortifying glance with her husband, "But…I think some don't mean any harm. Some…probably didn't even want to come, but they didn't have a choice. Maybe they had a home and family and a life, and they had to leave to come all the way out here, only to get caught and tortured by a bunch of UFO hunters like you!" She ends with an uncharacteristically vicious note. Even Janet looks surprised by her impassioned outburst. Mulder and Scully flinch, stinging from the sudden accusation. Janet runs off in the direction of her siblings' room, leaving Brad to handle the situation.

"Look, she's…she's…"

"She's absolutely right," Mulder finishes for him. Brad then follows after his distraught wife, perhaps to talk some sense into her. Turning to Scully, he announces matter-of-factly, "I think these people are aliens."

"Oh, God, Mulder! Will you give it a rest? A book falls off a shelf, you say it's aliens, you lose your ID, it's aliens, that time we went though a whole can of air freshener in one day, you said that was aliens too! That woman could've been spoon-feeding you some story because she thought it was what you wanted to hear. Or maybe she was trying to out-weird you; an ambitious pursuit, I grant you. On a scale of one to ten, I'd give her about a seven. Let's just try not to freak them out any more than we already have. I don't see why you have to make a bad situation worse."

"By that, do you mean the snowstorm or the time-travel?"

"Arg! The first time we teamed up together we lost nine lousy minutes and you got all worked up. Now it's twenty-three years and you hardly blink!"

"Well, there's nothing we can do about it now, and I've done…research," Mulder tries for her confidence.

"Meaning you've seen Back to the Future and Bill & Ted," Scully growls.

"I'm sure we can come up with something to get us home. Trust me."

"Hate to break it to you, Mulder, but our TARDIS is currently a snow bank," she sighs impatiently, getting a surprised look from her partner.

"I think my lady doth protesteth too much. Might you be a closet Doctor Who fan?" Mulder asks teasingly.

Scully heaves another theatrical sigh, confessing, "My brothers used to watch. I picked up a season or two in med school; it was the only thing on when I was up late studying."

"Tom Baker, right? The fourth one," Mulder deduces after a swift bout of mental arithmetic.

"Fourth Doc," she admits with a nostalgic smile, "I used to think he was so rad."

Mulder laughs, "You said 'rad'??"

"Back then I did. So did you, I'm guessing."

"Okay, okay, you got me. That reminds me, we'd better downshift into 70's talk if we're going to fit in around here. Don't let them see your cell phone or any other future technology, and watch what you say. Temporal Prime Directive."

Scully nods somberly, "I'm embarrassed that I even know what that means. This is great: stranded in the disco era, in a house inhabited by people you think are aliens! What's next, shrink rays?"

Mulder strokes her hand between his. "If it comes to that, I can make you a nice little house out a shoebox."

Janet chooses that moment to return to the living room, she definitely looks calmer. Clasping her hands in front of her, she casts an apologetic look to both of them. "Please don't tell anyone what I said. I don't even know you, for all I know your methods are humane. I'm sorry."

Mulder stands and approaches her, hoping to find out more. "Want to talk about it? Why you have it in for 'UFO hunters'?" When Janet hesitates, not wanting to say more, Scully intervenes.

"Could you at least tell us why our being stranded here is so funny?"

Janet cracks an embarrassed smile, "It happened to Brad and me a few months ago, the day we got engaged. It's a long story, you wouldn't believe half of what happened that night."

"I bet," Scully agrees in an undertone, sharing a glance with Mulder. Their meaningful eye-contact reminds Janet of her brother and sister, how they rarely speak to each other simply because they rarely need to.

"Well, it doesn't look like the storm's letting up," Janet notes. "I think it would be safest for you to stay for the night and make a fresh start in the morning. The couch is one of those new hide-a-beds, so you should be comfortable."

"Can I ask you something?" Mulder asks, "Has anything…weird ever happened around here? Just before we landed in here, we encountered…something. Have there been any rumors or anything…some unexplained phenomena?"

Janet fidgets nervously, unsure what qualifies as "weird" that she would be free to mention without attracting unwanted attention. She shrugs vaguely with a weak giggle, hoping that will suffice. Obviously not: Mulder looks over at his partner, his expression suspicious. Scully catches that look in his eye and raises her eyebrows at him in response. She, too, gets the distinct feeling that Janet is opting to lie by omission, and is curious what she could be hiding.

"Look, you're not fooling anyone. Is there something you can tell us?" Scully presses firmly.

Janet looks trapped, looking back in the direction of her bedroom, then back at her guests. She shakes her head, backing into the kitchen. Exchanging another look with his partner, Mulder follows Janet up to the kitchen sink, where she's nervously putting things away. As he draws closer, she fumbles with a knife, grazing her fingers enough to draw blood. His eyes grow wide and he jumps away on reflex. But her blood isn't red, nor is it the acidic green of the aliens he'd previously encountered. Droplets of pale, shimmering violet land on the linoleum floor. Alien and UFO hunter stare at each other, now fully recognizing each other for what they are. Grabbing a towel to staunch the flow of her incriminating blood, Janet never takes her eyes off of Mulder for an instant.

"Please…I haven't done anything," she whispers weakly as memories of her previous encounter with a "UFO hunter" flood to the surface. That cell, the cold bright light, the experiments…she wasn't going to let that happen again.

Slowly, Mulder steps forward, approaching with his hands out. When Janet decides he's gotten too close, she closes her eyes and deals him a dose of her pheromones. Everyone from Transexual, Transylvania is irresistible to Earthlings, and Mulder falls easy prey. However, she doesn't want to seduce him, just distract him. As he submits to her "old world charm", she gently guides him back into the living room and towards his partner. Figuring they'd keep each other busy long enough to sneak away, Janet tiptoes out and back to the bedroom to plan their next move.

Scully doesn't need to rely on her medical background to know that something is wrong. Mulder's eyes are glazed, he staggers towards her and she catches him before he trips over his own feet. After helping him sit on the couch, he pulls her into a sudden embrace, nuzzling into her neck. Drawing a sharp gasp of surprise, she goes momentarily limp in his arms, unable to resist.

"Mmm…don't…stop. Don't stop," she sighs. Too many times has she fantasized about this, it seems unfair that she has to put a stop to it now. Finally, she bites the bullet, and shoves him away with her legs.

"Scully…"

She looks up and sees Mulder shaking his head to clear it, looking like he'd just come out of a trance. Figuring he doesn't know what hit him any more than she does, she just pats his shoulder and says mildly, "Not now."

They stand and pull out the sofa-bed, they get as comfortable as they can and turn off the lights. Once they lay down, they cuddle together in the middle, drawn together by an attraction that has nothing to do with any alien mind-control parlor tricks their hosts might specialize in.

So attentive are they to each other that they don't realize they are not alone in the room. The lights are out, and the curtains are drawn, so not even a stray sliver of moonlight betrays the presence of a pale young woman with red hair, who holds a three-pronged laser gun close in a steady hand. Her sharp nocturnal eyes take in everything; she was bred to have no use for all this light the Earthlings seem to crave. She waits for the right moment, still and silent. Ordinarily, she abhorred killing as a horrible waste, only to be used as a last resort, but these two newcomers have made themselves known as mortal enemies. If they wanted to call themselves "paranormal investigators", let them. She knows what their kind are. Heartless, soulless, monsters in human form; she would never forgive "their kind" for what they did to her mother, her sister… She watches them curiously, before dealing the blow that would silence them forever.

XXX

"Get some rest, Scully, I'll keep watch."

"What, you're not sleeping?"

"Something tells me we're not entirely welcome here, and I'm not going to let anything happen to you. Sleep if you can; don't worry, I'll take care of us."

His tone of old-world chivalry brings a smile to Scully's face. She scoots in closer, if such a thing is possible, and lays her head against his shoulder. He gently touches her face, tracing the curve of her cheek and lips. They share a languid, lingering kiss, drawing it out reverently, savoring the moment as long as they can. They separate and sigh in unison, so accustomed are they to each other that they even breathe together.

"Why did it take so long for us to get to this point, Mulder?"

"Why? When did you first feel this way?"

Suppressing a laugh, she replies, "You're getting Sound of Music, it's not your usual playing field."

"So you'd rather Empire Strikes Back: 'I love you/I know'."

"Yeah…that sounds good. I've worked with you, fought with you, died with you…maybe that's why it's not hard for me to believe we're getting married. I can't think of anyone I'd rather be with."

"Shh…get some sleep, if these people really are aliens, I can handle them. I won't let you get taken again." He assures her, punctuating his remark by stroking the back of her neck and kissing her forehead.

XXX

In the hall, Magenta had heard everything, seen everything, and is now having second thoughts on her assignment. Maybe they'd judged them too harshly; they were never given the chance to explain themselves. In fact, nobody bothered to explain themselves tonight. They were all afraid of each other; this thought nearly makes her let out an ironic laugh. So she'd been taken, too? No wonder the male was so edgy; of course he'd want to protect his female. Lowering her weapon with a self-disgusted snarl on her face, Magenta stalks back to her room.

"Is it done?" Riff-Raff asks.

Shaking her head defeatedly, she looks at him, silently begging forgiveness. "I couldn't kill them, I hate killing. They haven't done anything to us. You should have heard them, they're not that different from us."

"They were asking questions about extraterrestrials, they're here to capture us!"

"No, brother, I don't think so. The female doesn't even seem to suspect vhat ve are. If she's an alien hunter, she's a very poor one. I don't think she believes we exist. Not all humans are enemies, Riff. You didn't trust Brad at first, remember? He has been an asset in protecting us, our lives are considerably improved from vhat they vould have been."

"So, you just want me to let them stay here tonight, let them go on their merry way tomorrow, and trust that they won't send for backup?"

"If ve killed them and they failed to report to…vherever it is they're going, they'd send people looking for them anyvay," she reminds him practically.

"Fine," he grumbles in agreement, "the things I do for you."

XXX

True to his word, Mulder sits up on guard duty—no easy task while watching someone sleep, he's resorted to pinching himself to keep from drifting off. He looks down again and sees that Scully has woken up, and is giving him a strange look.

"Wow, you weren't kidding. Guess this means I get the first drive in the morning."

"And if we can get back to the right year, that would be great, too. What woke you up?"

Sliding out of bed, she answers, "Gotta go."

"Go where? Oh. Think you can find it?"

"Yeah, I'll be right back."

Feeling her way down the hall, she finds the bathroom. Afterwards, she pauses at the door, certain she hears voices nearby. She checks her watch: it's two in the morning, who would still be up, apart from Mulder, she wonders. Quietly, she sneaks out into the hall and sees a light under one of the doors.

"…makes me sick to think of having them in the house, but what choice did we have? If this gets us in trouble, it'll be all my fault," Brad mutters. From the shifting quality of his voice, it sounds like he's pacing.

"It might work out," Janet hopes, "I gave the man a dose of…well, you know. I didn't do anything with him, I left him with his girlfriend, they probably got it out of his system together. It didn't sound like it, but maybe they're just quiet. It's possible that it was enough to make him forget what he saw."

"He saw your blood, Janet! And the other one's a doctor, one look at it and she'd know you're not human. God, how is this going to look??"

"You can always say we kept you around with mind-control. That way you can avoid getting in trouble anyway."

"Avoid…Janet, whatever happened to us all sticking together?" he sighs, pacing again. "Magenta calls me her brother, even Riff says I'm part of the family, and he's not an easy guy to win over, let me tell you. I'm not abandoning ship just because the Feds blew in. I'll say I'm one of you. I'll swear it up and down in a court of law."

"Brad, you couldn't fool them for long. You have human blood, you're an Earthling. You'd never pass for someone from my planet."

"Maybe not pure-blooded…but maybe…If we mingled our blood together, it would show up, temporarily anyway, that I have alien DNA in me. Right?"

"Brad…"

"I'm not letting us get separated. If we all get carted off to some lab, I'm not going to be standing on the other side of the glass looking in at you three. I'm not one of them anymore, I'm one of you. In all ways but one."

"Oh, Brad," Janet sighs. "I don't want you to get into trouble, getting mixed up with us, but…I'd be less afraid if I had you with me."

Scully puts her hand over her mouth and backs away, back into the living room where her partner is falling into a doze sitting up. She plops down beside him and shakes his shoulder.

"Mulder…Mulder wake up."

"Humm? Wasn't sleeping…"

"Look, I don't care if you were, just listen!" She hisses, patting his face, and turning it towards her.

"Sure, what?"

"Mulder…these people are aliens!"

Hearing her say these words makes him smile smugly. "Now, Scully, don't be silly. Whatever gave you that far-fetched idea?" Mulder yawns.

Knowing full well she deserves an 'I told you so', she lets his sarcasm slide. "I heard them talking, something about their blood…"

"Yeah, it's purple. Doesn't melt stuff, either," Mulder groggily remembers.

"You saw it?"

"The blonde one, she…cut herself…didn't want me to see…then I don't know what came over me, suddenly I felt all sexy…"

"I remember that part."

"Hey, maybe they can help us get back to 1999. Maybe it was something of theirs that brought us here in the first place."

"And if not, what are our alternatives?" Scully poses.

"There's the old 'slingshot around the sun', which is out because we don't have a spaceship. Maybe they do though. Standard temporal anomaly or vortex, but what are the odds of finding one that will drop us into the right time?"

"Have you tried clicking your heels together three times?"

"Hey, you're the reformed Whovian; I don't hear you shouting out any ideas."

"I can't believe we're having this conversation."

"'Mulder, these people are aliens!'" he mimics in a falsetto. "Your gullibility meter just went up a few notches. One more and you'll either go hunting for yeti with me or become a Cubs fan."

"A bolt of lightning," she suggests lamely.

"No flux capacitor."

"Damn. What else…What am I saying? Time travel is impossible!"

"Maybe you'd get better calculations with that slide-rule over there. Here's the kicker, it looks new."

Scully groans and covers her face. "I can't think, I'm too tired. Maybe it'll make more sense in the morning."

"Good idea."

"You get some sleep, too. In the morning, we'll just explain that we're not here on a bag-and-tag mission, and maybe they'll help us out. Now lay back down and warm up the covers, it's cold," she orders, which Mulder is all too happy to obey.

Both of them awaken early the next morning, it takes them each a moment to remember where—and when—they are.

"I feel sick," Scully groans.

"Could be temporal displacement. I bet it doesn't agree with everyone."

"Oh, shut up," she snaps, holding her head.

Mulder helps her out of bed and he folds it back into the couch. By now the others are up as well, and they all pause awkwardly, silently regarding each other. Janet stands between her brother and her husband, Magenta lurks in the back, screened from view by her protectors.

Jerking his head toward Janet, Riff-Raff announces bluntly, "She was taken, years ago. Experimented on"

Not missing a beat, as though this had all been rehearsed, Scully steps forward, "So was I. And his sister," she adds, gesturing to her partner.

Mulder flinches, but needs to have his say. "We all have a valid reason to hate each other on principle. Looks like we've…all seen the worst we can do to each other." He looks at Janet, "I'm sorry for whatever happened to you, but my partner and I didn't have anything to do with it. That's not our job."

Brad speaks out, "You said that she 'is up to her elbows in corpses' some days."

"Humans, from crime scenes. She's a forensic surgeon, she doesn't do alien autopsies," Mulder explains.

"Until last night, I'd never even really seen one." She stops to look at them, the scientist in her begins to wonder what makes them different. Biology was one of her first loves, her natural curiosity about how the human body works had led her to her current field. And now, she is presented with an entirely new life form. Aware that it would ruin any hope of goodwill between their races, but sorely tempted, she fights down the urge to examine them further. Mulder sees her reaction to them with understanding and pity, he knows just what she's thinking of. He leans in close to her and whispers "It's not fair, is it?" Any assurance that she wouldn't violate or torture her subjects would sound hollow. Once again, she is asked to step back, to obey without understanding.

With a heavy sigh, she pushes these ideas from her mind. Instead, she beseeches them: "Do any of you know a way…to travel to a specific point in time?"

Magenta brightens at this, steps forward to speak, but is suppressed by her brother.

"Shh! You want to give more away?"

Mulder tries her again, "Please, it's very important. We're not from here. We're not even from now. We need to get back or who knows what could happen?! Look, we're giving you our word that we won't say anything about you guys being here. If you can help us get back…at least try."

Magenta pushes past her brother and speaks freely, "The Sonic Transducer, at the…well, it's not here, but if one of us—"

"You mean, that thing that stuck us all to the floor that time?" Brad asks.

"Yes, yes, that's the one." Riff-Raff answers impatiently.

"Oops."

All three aliens now turn on him with venomous expressions. "Brad…what's 'oops'?" Janet questions.

"Well, you know when we drove out there yesterday, to get the generator? I…"

"Oh, gods, you brought them here?! Great, just great," Riff snarls. "You drive, you two follow. But you'd better be true to your word. This never happened."

"If this works, look us up sometime,"

Brad and Janet cross past them, their arms around each other. Janet leans in and whispers to Scully, "Just so you know, you got off light. You wouldn't believe what happened when it was us. Right, Brad?"

Her husband makes no remark, but clears his throat significantly as they leave. Janet looks Mulder up and down with a grin, "He would've looked great in fishnets!"

They hop into their car and wait for the two FBI agents to sweep theirs off, and to wonder exactly what they'd narrowly escaped.