Only one more chapter after this.
I know there is a lot of Doctor/River, but is still primarily and in the end Doctor/Rose.
Rose slowly took the first step down into the console room and peeked around. It was so bright and reflective, with so many colorful lights that it took Rose a second to notice that Amy and Rory were standing near the console.
"You're looking a bit overwhelmed," Amy commented.
"Very," Rose affirmed. "Front door and one main corridor in the old one. This one... Where could all of the stairs and halls possibly go?"
"The one you're coming from is more domestic- bedrooms, bathrooms, kitchen, infirmary. Those stairs there lead to more recreational - gardens, sports, pool, and such. Those lead up to library, study, and all things boring. And those stairs that lead down are for gadgets and geeky technical stuff the Doctor fiddles with. Oh, and of course the door."
"Domestic, fun, study, and Doctor's play place. Got it," Rose said as she nodded to each entry. "So, erm, I hear congratulations are in order. First anniversary?"
"Yes," Rory beamed. "Well, officially. Traveling with the Doctor, you can be gone for weeks and end up home the next day."
"Still, congratulations."
"Thank you," Rory replied.
"Yeah. Thanks. You know, I'm sorry to be so nosy, but I really am," Amy spoke quickly, clearly expecting the Doctor to walk in and stop her any moment. "How old are you? You don't look any older than me, but you act like you've traveled with him for ages. What was he like? You knew a few incarnations, didn't you?"
"Oh..." Rose blinked as she considered the questions. "Uh, well, I'm... twenty-...four-ish? Like you said, time passes differently for travelers. How long I traveled with him? Er... not as long as you think. He regenerated only a year or so after I met him. And, well, I suppose he's like what he's always like..."
"But you said that he-"
"Talking about me again? If it's nice stuff let me be present so I can blush in the right places." The Doctor smirked as he entered the room. "Looks like everyone's ready to go, so let's get the show on the road, shall we?"
The Doctor laid his hand on the console but stopped when he caught Rose hiding a grin behind her colorful scarf. "Rose Tyler, are you laughing at me?"
Rose pinched her lips together and schooled her features into a look of innocence. "No, I'm not."
"Yes. Yes, you are. Why are you laughing at me?"
"I'm not, I swear. Well... maybe a little. It's just funny getting used to a new you... again," she admitted with a blush.
"Wait, you mean this is your first time meeting this Doctor?" Amy asked incredulously.
"Yes, it is," the Doctor answered. "And now that we've brought it up, you haven't said a thing about how I look except that I look younger. I think I deserve a better appraisal. What do you think of the new look?"
"Y-you want me to judge you?" Rose asked skeptically.
"Yes. First impression. Tell me what you think." The Doctor spread his arms so she could have a proper look.
"Well... I don't know. You look good. You look fine," Rose shrugged.
"Good? Fine? What kind of answers are those?" the Doctor asked moodily.
"What do you want her to say? You look like a cuckoo professor," Amy snickered.
"Professor! Exactly. It might be the first time I'm meeting you as the Doctor, but it's definitely not the first time I've seen this you, is it?" A haughty smile pulled at Rose's mouth. "Did you think I wouldn't have figured it out? Dr. John Smith, emergency geography tutor?"
Rose sauntered over to him playfully. "Emergency geography tutor? No charge? Sent by some absolutely ridiculous sounding organization? I'm still floored that mum let you in."
"Well, my credentials were signed by the queen. Or, that's what your mum said. It was her mind that cooked it up, not mine. And in her defense, anyone who'd seen your test scores would give just about anything a try."
"Ouch," she chuckled.
"Well, it's true. Before I'd got to you, you mixed up Russia and China on the maps."
"Good explanation for that - I didn't care. I was a dumb teen raised on the council estates - never once stood outside of London - and I thought my future looked pretty clear. Shop assistant. Forever. 'Til the day I died. Why would a shop assistant need to know the location of China, let alone the Yangtze River?"
"Exactly why I needed to swoop in. If I was going to snatch you out of London to show you the universe, I thought you should at least know your own planet," the Doctor smiled warmly.
"And thanks to Dr. John Smith and five afternoons of intense revision, I got top marks in my class. Ms. Fishel was so blown away that she accused me of cheating and made me take it again under the scrutiny of the headmaster."
"I made a pretty good tutor, didn't I?"
"Yes, you did."
"You said my bowtie was cool." The Doctor was beaming as he said it.
"Oh, tell me you didn't," Amy moaned.
"My personal tutor, sent by the bloody queen, asks me 'Does my bowtie look cool?' what am I supposed to say?" Rose said in her defense.
"You mean you don't think it's cool?" The Doctor's reaction was absolutely pitiful. His smile slid away to uncertainty and his eyes looked vulnerable.
"I didn't say that either," Rose protested. She tipped her head to the side as she considered the precisely tied, maroon bowtie and the man it adorned. With a warm expression, she reached out and adjusted it just slightly. "In general, I don't think I could say that bowties are cool, but on you... It suits you. Makes you look adorable and dignified and slightly off-kilter... It's you and that's what makes it cool."
The Doctor's smile was back and his eyes shined in appreciation. "And my face? My hair?"
"What about it?" Rose laughed again. "It's not like this body of yours is new. It's just new to me."
"Exactly. You saw the last two of me. My ninth got teased all the time about his ears and nose. The next one, well, that was seemed well received except for the lack of manners... How 'bout this one? I tried to work the hair in the same way, but it just doesn't work. It goes all floppy. Is it too long, do you think?" he ran his fingers through his hair and it flopped back over his right eye.
"You're really fishing for compliments, aren't you? I hope I get some in return," Rose smirked. "You look good. The hair works. Facial features are handsome. I don't know why you're so self-conscious. Is that just part of this personality?"
"Only today. Nostalgia can do that to a person," the Doctor assured her. "Speaking of nostalgia - look at you! Cardiff 2006, right down to the braided pigtails!" The Doctor took a small step back to look at her properly and gave one pigtail a little tug.
Rose's smile fell to open-mouth astonishment. "You remember the exact day that I wore this?"
"Of course. Bad Wolf, Slitheen, and you made me tolerate Mickey the Idiot and Captain I'll-kiss-anything-with-legs."
Rose burst out in unexpected laughter. "Looks like your manners really have changed some if you're calling him 'Captain I'll-kiss-anything-with-legs'. But back to the point, I meant that I couldn't believe that you remembered my outfit. I only know because I just saw the photo of the four of us."
"Your throat was in the clutch of a Slitheen and I was told to choose between you and the planet. What you looked like then and there is an image forever burned in my brain... But!" the Doctor's quiet answer leapt back to excitement, "we've plenty of time to reminisce later. You're distracting me, Rose Tyler."
"Me? You're the one..." Rose grimaced and looked at the others. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You're all gonna hate me if we keep this up. I'm just gonna..." Rose quietly moved away from the console and sat toward the bottom of one of the staircases. Not hidden away, but out of the spotlight.
"No, don't worry about it. We're used to him speaking too fast for us to keep up," Rory assured her. "If anything, you've spiced up what could have been a dull technical explanation."
Rose smiled kindly at Rory, trying her best to look comforted while her stomach churned angrily. She didn't dare look at River Song. She could feel the woman's eyes upon her and feel the emotions radiating across the room. She'd warned herself to tread carefully, but she hadn't at all.
Rose stared down at the sleek mirror-like ice beneath her feet and was hypnotized by the way the toes of her skates moved in and out of view in her languid strides as she made wide laps around the far edge of the busy crowded center. Blocking out the noise of joyous whoops and laughter, she felt she had found a peaceful solitude.
The Doctor had feared her isolating herself and included her in the fun. Amy had challenged "her boys" to a race and, at the last moment, caught eyes with Rose and jerked her head in invitation. The boys didn't stand a chance, but Amy and Rose were pleased to find competition in one another. Their tie could easily have become an argument and an act of forcing judges to take their sides, but the sight of the Doctor wiping himself off after falling on his backside drove them both into fits of giggles.
Rose tried to escape again, but the Doctor quickly took her hand and called River and Mrs. and Mr. Pond to play crack the whip. River politely declined and when the spinning stopped, Rose quietly skated off again. The Doctor obviously didn't see that he was doing the exact opposite of what he should.
Rose's solitude, though peaceful and pleasant, still carried a lonely sorrow. It was not unbearable for she was quite content, but it was an underlying, ever-present ache. She missed him. She missed her Doctor. Her eyes moved from the shine of the ice to the sparkle of stars above her head. So many stars, all the same as the ones she saw from home, only a different vantage point, and of course, her own sun looked so very much smaller from here than home. She could find it though. The Doctor had shown her long ago where she could find her home star - her Doctor and the new one, for they were the same person back then.
She loved the stars. The beauty and wonder of them never wore in the least. She loved the stars and so did he. Her Doctor. Both of them. Tears prickled in her eyes and stole her breath as she slowed her pace even more. They had stargazed nearly every night, sometimes in silence and other times reminiscing. Her favorite times were when they took their rowboat far out in the water and laid down, pillow, blanket, and all tucked into their tiny boat and just stared up at the heavens. Even without the TARDIS, the two of them sailed among the stars. So many precious moments spread across so many wonderful years and now she was staring at the stars without him. Not just staring, but traveling. He'd be so happy for her, but it ached that he wasn't with her.
Alone.
"Rose Tyler..." the Doctor sung as he skated up behind her. "Guess what I've got."
Rose twirled to see him, but he followed her, remaining behind her. "Go on, guess."
Rose sighed with a smile. "Please tell me that you're not trying with the ear muffs again. I don't want them."
"No, although I still worry you'll catch cold if you don't get them on soon. Now guess again. And quickly, if you will, or they'll get cold."
"What?" she laughed.
"Yes, you've always been terrible at that game. Here you go," he said as he twirled in front of her. "Chips."
Rose covered her face with her hands and laughed when she saw the paper bag with the steam pouring out the top. "Chips? Where on Kur-Ha could you possibly get chips?"
"The TARDIS, of course." He grinned, but it fell a little despite his efforts to keep it in place. He wasn't sure what else to say so he brightened his grin again and skated off. Rose's eyes sought River and found the woman exiting the ice rink. The last she'd looked, which she admitted was awhile back, the Doctor had been skating with River, even doing figure skating style turns with his hands above his head. But of course, he left her side in attempt to cheer Rose.
Couldn't he see what he was doing?
Rose sighed and let her skates carry her to the edge of frozen lake. Careful not to upset her balance, she walked upon her skates toward the snack pavilion and the wild-haired woman that sat alone at one of the tables.
"Mind if I sit?" Rose requested softly.
River's eyes blazed with emotion, bitterness and pain burning in the forefront, but she clenched her jaw and took a deep slow breath, pulling herself together before nodding.
"Like some chips?" Rose offered tentatively.
"The Doctor got them special for you," River stated curtly, trying with great effort to suppress everything that wanted to burst out.
"He's trying to cheer me up. That's all," Rose declared soberly. "He thinks, 'Rose is sad. Rose likes chips.' It's quite embarrassing really - the belief that greasy fried potatoes take me to a happy place."
River's grey eyes lifted from the table to stare directly at the young blonde across from her, scrutinizing every bit of her. What was it that made this common girl so special?
"I know what you are to him," Rose said quietly. Her brown eyes met River's grey and she tried to express her sincerity through that connection. "I have no intention of changing that. I didn't mean to upset things. I can only imagine how insecure you must feel right now with the attention he's giving me, but he's only trying to cheer me."
River's lips pursed from closing them so tightly against the many things she wanted to say. She let the only innocent thing she could manage burst free. "Who are you? Why are you here?"
The quiver in River's voice made Rose frown sympathetically. Her eyes fell away and she breathed deeply as she tried to find the best answer to give.
"The Doctor and I were close," she said slowly. "Best friends. Greater than best friends, yet never more than friends. We got separated quite suddenly and I couldn't get back. I knew what I was doing; knew the risk I was taking, but he still blames himself.
"The reason I'm here... I didn't have anywhere else to go." Rose smiled ruefully and continued as emotionally detached as she could, "I lost my home, my mum, my dad... and my husband. Only ten days ago, I lost my husband. My husband of thirty-three years. I'm not looking for a relationship, just a friend."
Rose forced her strained smile even larger as she closed her eyes, effectively keeping the tears from returning. Upon opening her eyes, a small chuckle issued forth at the puzzled and skeptical look on River's face.
"Look pretty good for my age, yeah? Fifty-eight years old. You know, most people think it'd be a dream to be eternally twenty, but they have no idea..." Rose lamented. "You though... I think you have some idea about not aging, don't you?"
"What do you know about me? The Doctor said he didn't have to tell you, so how do you know me?" River looked a storm of confusion and insecurity.
"Ah, now we get to the really complex stuff..." Rose sighed again and pondered the best explanation. "Truthfully, I know very little about you. This Doctor hasn't told me about you, but... my Doctor did. See... I made it back to the Doctor. The stars were going out and the earth was stolen away to the Medusa Cascade along with a couple dozen other planets. I knew we needed the Doctor and I found him, and with the help of many, he saved the day. In the chaos though, he cheated regeneration and it created a sort of Meta-Crisis Clone of him. God, I hate calling him that. Part Time Lord, part human.
"I traveled all that way, worked so hard to get back to the Doctor and the asshole dropped me back in Pete's World with his clone. I hated him for it. He thought it was a gift, giving me a version of him that could actually love me back, but I felt like he was marooning me there with the responsibility to look after a clone that he couldn't very well keep in his own universe. It wasn't long before I realized it was really him. The 'clone' had all the memories and was the same in all respects except that the human part meant that he would die some day. That's my Doctor. I loved him, but then, who doesn't love the Doctor?
"My Doctor. It was my Doctor that told me about you. He met you once between the time he lost me and the time I found him. He said you're an archeologist, told me what you looked like, and explained that the two of you move in opposite directions, always meeting out of order - backward even. You seemed to know everything about him and it scared the hell outta him," Rose laughed a good genuine laugh at that. "He didn't know why he should trust you and you whispered his name in his ear. I know what that means."
"Because you know it too," River stated evenly. She was overwhelmed by the information and unsure how to respond. "You married the human Doctor and so you know his name. Doesn't it bother you then that I do?"
"No," Rose answered honestly. "Does it bother you that I know?"
"Frankly, I..." River paused and heaved a heavy sigh. "...I don't know."
"When I planned on coming back this time, I expected you to be here," Rose explained. "Of course, at first mention it stung to think of the Doctor with someone that wasn't me, but I realized how foolish that was. He intended me to love the man he left me with and I did with all of my heart. He was devastated to drop me off there. I knew it. He was an ass and I'll never think otherwise, but I knew he hurt because of it. I didn't want him to feel that. He's had so much pain and loss in his life that when I thought of this cheeky, firecracker woman to keep him in line and keep him smiling... I was grateful - am grateful - that he has you."
"Oh God, you're so selfless, it's sick." River sat back in her chair with a huff.
"Sorry?" Rose said in shock.
"No wonder he likes you. You're so selfless-"
"Hold it there; I'm far from. I nearly destroyed two universes to get back to him the first time. I had the excuse that I was trying to save the universe, but I might of done either way."
"Regardless," River muttered in defeat. "If you can be like that, I suppose that I can too."
"What do you mean?"
River's gaze dropped to the table and she stamped down her emotions as best she could. Her voice was still strained as she spoke. "I'm not going to be with him much longer... It's so wonderful, each moment I have with him, but it's so bittersweet. Our relationship is nothing but a tragedy. Think it through. Our times cross in reverse. When I met him, he knew everything about me and now... The longer I know him, the more in love I get and each time, he knows me less and less. The familiarity is leaving; he becomes more and more wary of me, and I have to keep more and more secrets. This - today - is one of the very few times that we both know each other. The time before this, the Byzantium crashed and we were working together and every time I got near him he would sidle away a bit. It was the first time Amy met me. I'm running out of time with him. I'm always terrified that the next time I see him... I'm really getting close to the time you mentioned, the time where doesn't recognize me at all anymore.
"When that day comes, I fear it will destroy me. Emotionally, most definitely, but possibly physically too. I have no idea what happens. What happens that makes it all stop?" Tears were trailing slowly down River's face and Rose rushed to hand her napkins, her heart breaking because she knew. The Doctor had told her about what happened to River Song at the Library. She knew that it would happen one day, but she never imagined so soon. She had never understood the heartache until now and she hadn't a thing to say to comfort her.
"So, if you can be grateful that he had someone to make him happy while you were gone, then I'll do the same. Keep him smiling."
Rose stood from her seat and pulled River into a hug, the two of them crying together for their losses and River's loss to come. The absurdity of the clinging to a stranger that might even be considered a rival did not escape them, but they took comfort in one another nonetheless. For who could possibly understand better?
River stiffened suddenly, Rose turned to see what had alarmed her, and they were caught in a three-way stare of shock. The Doctor's mouth was parted slightly in stunned stupor and his brow was wrinkled with uncertainty and fear.
"Hi... erm, I was just..." The Doctor pointed at two sets of ear muffs clutched in his left hand as his eyes darted from one tear-stained face to the other. "But never mind... no, not never mind, uh... here."
The Doctor leaned forward hesitantly, placed the ear muffs on the table, and hastily pulled his arm back. "Yes, so," he said anxiously as he began backing away slowly, "If you want, er... whenever you'd like to go, I'm sure Amy and Rory wouldn't mind. I'm just gonna go-"
"We're okay Doctor," River answered. "I think we're both ready to go."
"Okay. Good. Right. Very well." The Doctor rung his hands as he continued his retreat. "You ladies head to the TARDIS and I'll collect the Ponds."
River and Rose, still quite stunned, looked at one another and couldn't help but laugh at the Doctor's discomfort.
"So, Amy and Rory are home safe and sound, an unusual but pleasant occurrence. Where are we off to now?" the Doctor asked as he stepped back up to the console. His voice was light, but his smile was weak.
"Well, Stormcage will be expecting me back at some point..." River said quietly.
"They always do, but... but I thought we had planned that you would stay for... but, i-if you want to..."
"I just thought that..."
"Oh, you two are being ridiculous." Rose shook her head. "I know this is about me. You're not changing your plans. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to find my favorite old jim jams and see if I can't find the kitchen. Goodnight."
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