The Doctor and Rose climbed to their feet and simultaneously brushed the dry rust colored soil from their hands and the knees of their trousers. Rose had changed into her pyjamas only a couple hours before and would have to change them again before bed. A shower would be in order before that to remove the dirt from her fingernails and her bare feet. The Doctor suggested shoes, but she enjoyed the feel of the warm ground beneath her.

"A baby TARDIS planted in the last soil of Gallifrey. I can't decide if it's heartbreaking or beautiful," she said quietly as she stared at the second sun falling beneath the horizon. The lighting and walls were simulations of the TARDIS's creation, but the field, the soil, and the plant life were real and so very ancient.

"Both," the Doctor replied. "Heartbreakingly beautiful."

With a sigh, he sat back on the ground and leaned back on his elbows. Rose joined him, laying down fully with her hands beneath her head. The ground and golden grass were so warm and comforting. The Doctor once told her the climate was much like the Serengeti all year round, but the air was not stifling in the least.

"You know, when you told me that TARDIS's were grown, I always imagined in a lab or in the ocean," Rose admitted. "I never imagined they'd be planted like, well, plants."

"They are coral-like, so it's an understandable assumption. Soil, however, holds history and ancient minerals that tell so many stories. This TARDIS has grown with the histories of Earth and will now grow with the history of Gallifrey."

"It's incredible, this place. She'll grow well here, won't she?"

"Oh, she'll thrive, Rose," the Doctor said passionately. "With the nurturing care of her sister around her and our devotion, she'll grow beautifully. And with the capabilities here, we'll be able to harmonize at the frequency that Donna mentioned and I'd estimate that she could be full grown in just five years. With the right dedication on our part, I'd say we could have her equipped and ready for flight in as little as seven years."

"It's so exciting to imagine, but... what will we do with her?"

"Oh, that's entirely up to you, Rose. This TARDIS is completely yours. She's connected with you already," the Doctor beamed.

"But... I don't want to leave this TARDIS. I want to stay with you," Rose replied anxiously.

"Oh, you can. You will as long as you'd like. We'll just have to use your TARDIS too or she'll get restless. We could take turns. My TARDIS could rest in your TARDIS whenever we use yours. Or! In those dangerous scenarios we often find ourselves in, it might be a good idea to take them to the same destination separately," he suggested with a smile. "Or! We could race them! I love to beat people in competitions."

"Oh! We could do galactic scavenger hunts!" Rose nearly squealed with excitement at the idea.

"Oh, Rose Tyler, you're brilliant! How much fun that will be! Of course, I'll beat you in that too..."

"You're so full of yourself. You love to brag, but conveniently forget all the times your landing is far from the original destination," she ribbed.

The Doctor ignored her statement with a smile. He was too happy to have her there with him to even pretend to be indignant. Slowly, however, the smile began to fade.

"I'm so glad you're here with me, Rose. I need you here as much as I ever have."

Rose heard the sadness in his voice and her heart sank along with his. "It's River, isn't it? She's going to the Library soon."

The Doctor turned his head away. It was difficult to think on, let alone speak about.

"I know you better than anyone, Doctor. Don't hide away from me. Tell me."

"This is our last trip together," the Doctor admitted. "Tomorrow, I say my goodbye and I have to do it without using those words. I have to say goodbye without saying goodbye and I fear it will break my hearts. I've failed her."

"I'm sorry. So sorry." Rose reached down and took his hand in hers. He laid back and stared up at the fake starry sky above them.

"I tried. I tried so hard to come up with a way to save her, to change things, but there's nothing."

Rose could see and hear his pain. His hearts were already breaking. They had been for a long time.

"I can feel your unspoken question, Rose. I'd love to keep her with me, to keep running on adventures without stop, but it just can't be like that. I always have to take her back. It's how it has to be."

"My Doctor never knew and we've always wondered: how is it that your timelines go in reverse?"

"Stormcage," he answered quietly.

"Stormcage? River said they were waiting for her. What are they?"

"Stormcage Containment Facility. It's a prison run by the Time Agency and somehow its time runs in reverse. In the 52nd century, she was sentenced to twelve thousand consecutive life sentences. She's been living them in reverse, her present day getting ever closer to the 51st century. I've managed to catch her in the correct order a few times, but it was difficult. It took research and planning to work out this trip. She just got back from the second time I met her. I now need to give her my sonic screwdriver so that she can go to the Library. It's the only way I know to save her. It's not good enough, but it's all I have."

"I'm sorry," Rose repeated. There were so many questions she had, but she dared not ask. "She's happy though. She knows something is coming but, as she tells you in the Library, she wouldn't change a thing."

"You don't understand though. It's my fault. It's all my fault." The Doctor took a deep breath and let the story fall. He told her everything - about their meetings, River's birth, the Silence, Amy and Rory, how he himself was murdered, yet not. "Her whole life, all of our meetings... she's a living paradox. They only way to make it work, to keep the paradox from ripping the world apart, is to complete the time loop just as it started. A predestination paradox with dozens of ontological paradoxes working inside it. If the circle of events is not closed, then it all falls apart. River saves me in the Library. She saved her parents several times. If those events don't or didn't happen, then all of the things that led to her birth would not have happened. It's a tragedy from beginning to end and back to the beginning."

"With so many beautiful moments in the middle," Rose reminded him. "Wonderful moments don't always soften the tragedies of life, but bad times don't always spoil the good times. Never forget the good times, Doctor. Make them bigger than the bad ones."

The Doctor turned his head to stare at her. Her Doctor must have told her that because he was sure he didn't, but he said something incredibly similar to Amy once upon a time. Her Doctor really was him in so many ways. He often thought of the other Doctor as his way to spend the rest of his life with her, but it made him miss her no less.

"I don't know how I've ever survived this long without you."

Rose squeezed his hand tighter. "You don't have to now. You're stuck with me again."

"You look beautiful, River," the Doctor said endearingly as he looked over her elegant gown.

"Do I?" She smiled flirtatiously.

"Yes."

"Tell me more."

"You're incorrigible," he chuckled, "and gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous."

River's eyes shined as he attempted to push a few stray curls behind her ear. "Not bad yourself, handsome. So what's with the tuxedo and top hat?"

"Darillium," he answered. "I promised to take you, and tonight's the night. Dinner, dancing, and the singing towers."

"Just the two of us?" River asked, looking at the empty hallway that led to the bedroom where Rose was tucked away.

"Just the two of us."

The night was magical in its perfection. It was a night without flaw. The smiles and laughter were unstoppable, but so was the heaviness that each of them hid from the other. With her arm hooked through his, the Doctor led River from the dance floor to the balcony outside. The night was quiet and the stars bright as they looked upon the glowing towers in the distance. Two towers as tall as skyscrapers - natural land formations of multicolored rock that were carved out into gleaming, decorative spirals. The gentle wind blew over them and through them and created a golden sound, a moving song that spoke to the soul - sad, joyful, and hauntingly beautiful.

"It's breathtaking," River said quietly. "Thank you for this."

The Doctor slipped his hands into his pockets and looked up at the stars with sadness in his eyes. "I would give you the universe if I could."

"You silly man," River grinned, "you already have."

"More, then."

"You have. Doctor, I know what this evening is."

The Doctor looked at her with surprise and guilt.

"I'm a smart woman. Each time we meet, you know me less and less. Very soon you won't know me at all. This... I thank you for this chance to see you again while you still know me. I thought I had already received my last kiss from you. This night gives me another proper kiss, a proper dance, and loads of reminiscing. Thank you."

"I don't want this to end," the Doctor frowned.

"But it has to, doesn't it?" River smiled ruefully. "We always knew it would."

"I'm sorry, River."

"No, don't be sorry for any of it. You gave me the world. I cherish each moment we've had - every single one. We're legendary, the pair of us. I have no regrets for any of my time with you." She placed her hand on his cheek and stared into his eyes in earnest. "Do you?"

"I am a man of many regrets, River, but not a single one is for the time we've shared." The Doctor placed his hand over hers and pulled her palm to his lips to place a delicate kiss upon it.

"Doctor..." River said hesitantly, "I know that you love her."

The Doctor's smile fell. "River... tonight is about us. R-"

"There's not going to be any other time to talk about it," she reminded him. "You love her, Doctor. Deeply. You can't deny it now."

"My feelings for Rose have nothing to do with my feelings for you. I thought-"

"I know," she interrupted. "That's what I'm trying to say. I never thought that a man could truly love two women... well, at least not without choosing. But you won't have to. This is going to be a new chapter for you and I'm glad you'll have someone to love. Not that you ever stopped...

"You know, so many people in the universe walk around with halfhearted smiles, but you more than anyone... As long as I've known you, I've thought that you only seem to smile with one of your hearts. You only laugh or love with one of your hearts. It was painful because I believed that it was because one heart was simply broken, broken by all the pain and loss that you suffered in your many years. I see now that it was because one heart always and forever belongs to Rose. As much as it pains me that it was never mine, I'm glad to see that the damage to that heart was not irreparable. Yesterday, I got to see you smile a real smile."

"That's not fair, River." The Doctor ached with guilt.

"No regrets, Doctor. No guilt," she insisted. "Not for love. Never for love."

"It's not fair," he repeated.

"That's what I'm trying to tell you: it is. You gave me the world and a life worth living. It's onto a new chapter for you; onto a chapter without me. It hurts to know this is the end and it hurts not knowing what's coming next for me, but I'm glad to know that you won't be alone. I'm glad to know that you will still be able to smile."

"I'm going to miss you." The Doctor swallowed hard and tears began to prick his eyes. "I care for you deeply. Tell me you know that."

"I do. You've loved me well. Say though words though, Doctor. You've never said the words. Just this once. Just one time."

The Doctor paused and closed his eyes, allowing the tears to escape and slide slowly down his cheeks. "I love you."

River smiled a heartbreaking smile and cupped his face with both hands, gently wiping his tears away with her thumbs before placing a tender kiss upon his lips. "Which is more than any girl could dare to dream of. Keep loving. Keep living. Just... please don't forget me, Doctor."

"Never," he answered fervently. "You are absolutely unforgettable, River Song."

"Thank you."

"Never thank me. I don't deserve it."

"Thank you," she repeated firmly.

"Take this," the Doctor said quietly as he placed his sonic screwdriver in her hand and closed her fingers around it, "and remember me as fondly as you can."

"With love greater than the universe has ever known."

The Doctor wrapped her tightly in his arms and placed as kiss upon her head. His voice was no more than a strained whisper as he uttered the word "goodbye."

The Doctor's eyes were downcast as he tossed his top hat over the railing in the console room. His bowtie followed after it, but his tuxedo jacket, he draped over the rail. His eyes were dry but his hearts wept. River was gone.

His first thought was to seek comfort in the solitude of his bedroom, but Rose's face came to mind and his weary feet carried him directly to her room. The door was open and therefore the Doctor was not surprised to find it empty. She rarely spent time in her room, often entertaining herself in some of the many rooms aboard the TARDIS. Still, he had no doubt where'd he'd find her this evening - her television room. Yes, her television room.

Just as the TARDIS furnished personal bedrooms, she also created personal rooms of entertainment, priding herself on her ability to cater to the tastes of the different travelers she housed. Amy's television room, for example, had a large cinema screen with large comfy bean bag chairs in vivid colors. Though Rose could appreciate it, her room was much more... domestic. In fact, after the Doctor had teased her about it, she began referring to it as her domestic sanctuary. It was quite simple, fitting Rose's personality well. The telly was high tech from the 2340s but with a retro look, meaning it was 21st century in style, appearing as though it had come from only a couple decades ahead her personal time. The furniture consisted of a large L-shaped sofa that nestled into the corner, a coffee table, and a side table with a small lamp. The room was rather small - smaller than her bedroom - and very dim with only the one lamp for light. It was cozy and it was home to her. And she, his domestic Rose, was home to him.

The Doctor slowly peered around the doorframe and found her just as he'd pictured. Rose was snuggled up in the corner of the couch in a pair of jersey cotton jim jams with an open book in her hands. She wore no make-up and her hair was up in a sloppy bun, but she was beautiful. Her eyes lifted from the page and landed directly on him.

"Hey," she greeted quietly.

The Doctor forced a tight, pitiful smile.

"Are you alright?" The words were unnecessary for she had known this was coming. Her question was an offer; she was there to listen.

He made no effort to hide it from her, just as she had asked of him the night before. His expression was as much a grimace as it was a frown and the shake of his head, though slight, looked like it took effort. He wasn't used to opening up to people, but he knew that he needed to with Rose. He needed her just as she needed him.

Rose folded her book and placed it on the table next to a tea tray set for two. She was expecting him. "Come sit with me?"

The couch was large enough that he could choose a length on either side of her with plenty of room to stretch out his legs, but he didn't hesitate to sit directly beside her with their arms close enough to touch.

"She's gone. River's gone," the Doctor whispered.

"I'm sorry." Rose gently rubbed his forearm in comfort.

"I failed her." The Doctor's voice cracked. "I had so many years but it simply wasn't enough."

"It never is."

"No, I mean I had so many years to find a solution - a way to save her - and I couldn't."

"You're genius, it's true, but even you can't be expected to solve everything. You said yourself that it couldn't be done without the time loop collapsing. I'm very sorry, Doctor, so sorry, but you can't blame yourself."

"I can," he quietly disagreed. "She dies because of me."

"No. Don't dishonor her like that. She sacrificed herself to save hundreds of people; it was her choice, not yours," Rose reminded him. "If you take the blame, you victimize her instead of appreciating her act of heroism."

"She just deserved so much better... I never loved her as much as should have and worse... she knew it." It was the hardest confession he'd made in such a long time. It was something he never thought he'd be able to speak. "The first time I met her, I realized that I would marry her and I waited for her to prove herself. I waited for something that would make me fall in love with her. I just couldn't trust her. Then I discovered who she was and what she suffered because of me. I owed it to her. She lived such a terrible, loveless life and she needed me, but how could I fall in love with her when I knew exactly how it would end? I never loved her like I should have."

"No, you loved her well, Doctor," Rose disagreed. "Love isn't just what you feel. Sometimes love feels like a whirlwind that sweeps you away, but there's also love that comes quietly. Love doesn't have to be loud and passionate to be deep. Us, for example: I could never decide when I fell in love with you, but it was undeniable. We never exchanged words of it or kisses, but I loved you deeply and I never doubted that you felt the same for me.

"River means a lot to you; it's obvious. You care so much for her feelings, doing all that you can for her happiness, and there's nothing you wouldn't do for her. That's love. Don't doubt yourself or your feelings. You loved her well."

"I missed you," the Doctor confessed. "I never said the words... I had so many opportunities and then you asked... The sentence I never finished - I didn't think I could say it and then leave... but it really does need saying. I loved you, Rose, and I've never stopped. I thought it could pass with time, but I've never stopped missing you and wishing you were here with me."

Rose laid her head on his shoulder and breathed deeply. Finding it not enough, the Doctor switched places with her, placing her between his legs so that she could recline against him.

"I did love River," he continued, "but not like you... and she saw it."

Rose wasn't sure how to respond. What was a proper reply?

"Rose, I don't want you to answer now... in fact, I don't know if I ever want you to answer; I only want you to think on it... I wonder if you'll ever be able to love me again - like you once did."

"Oh, Doctor-"

"No. I said not to answer and I mean it. I'm not your Doctor, the Doctor you loved for thirty-three years. You had so much time with him and I know that you'll mourn him for a long time to come, but... perhaps one day...?"

A silent chuckle escaped her and she shook her head. "You are such a daft old man."

"I know."

"Bad Wolf."

"Sorry?" the Doctor replied in confusion.

"Bad Wolf. I don't actually remember what happened, what it felt like, but I still know her better than you do," she declared. "See, I looked into the heart of the TARDIS, but more importantly, she looked into mine and that's one thing I know well. I know what was in my heart and I know what the TARDIS saw. She saw my love for you. My heart's desire was to save you, not once, but always. Not just from death, but from all the pain and heartache you suffer. It was her wish, too, and that's why we became the Bad Wolf.

"The Bad Wolf saw all that could be and led us. She saw Dårlig Ulv-Stranden - Bad Wolf Bay - named it long ago because she knew it was where I needed to be. She saw the Meta-Crisis Doctor - two Doctors - and knew that he needed me. The choice had to be made and it was made by the three of us. I loved him and I realize that you became two separate people, but you were both still the Doctor. I loved him with everything I was, but that doesn't mean that I ever forgot you.

"The Bad Wolf saw all that could be and that I was meant to be in Pete's World, but she still changed my physiology, giving me the ability to live for hundreds of years. That wasn't for the other Doctor; it was for you because she saw my heart. She saw my love for you far into the future. She saw that I would still love you.

"I had thirty-three years with my Doctor, so much of that time just the two of us, day after day. He shared himself with me: stories of his childhood, his many adventures, and all the friends he'd met in his nine hundred years. I know you better than anyone in the universe ever has, and I love you more than ever. I love the Doctor, no matter his face. You are and always have been my Doctor and I will love you for the rest of my life."

Rose had turned her head to look at him and he turned her further to place a hungry, passionate kiss upon her mouth. Rose responded with fervor but brought them down to a gentle delicate brush of lips upon lips. The Doctor's brows knit with concern. Her confession was so ardent that he had forgotten her recent loss. Perhaps he had moved too fast? But then, he had waited far too long. He didn't want to lose any more chances. He needed her to know that he was just as committed to her.

With long contented sigh, she leaned back against him, pulling his arms around her.

"The other Doctor was your husband... He told you his name. You know my name."

Rose nodded in affirmation.

The Doctor leaned down, his lips nearly touching her ear as he whispered. "Would you let me tell you also?"

Her heart raced and she could feel his beating in wildly in his chest. A commitment. A proposal.

"Yes." An emotional cross between a silent sob and a chuckle escaped her and she held back tears. Attempting to keep her voice steady, she continued. "It would mean the world to me if you did, but not just yet. We've both had recent losses. We'll mourn... We'll run and revel in excitement and adventure... And when the smiles and laughs come easily again, then. Then I would love more than anything for you to whisper your name to me."

"For now then, I'll finish my sentence properly..." The Doctor leaned in again and whispered softly into her ear. "Rose Tyler... I love you."

"I love you too, my Doctor. Forever."

FIN

Please, please review. Submitting a story is putting yourself out there. It's standing in front of an audience that you can't see. Good or bad, please let me know what you think. PLEASE review.

10/20/2013 - Sorry! I was going through this story and accidentally deleted the last chapter when I was trying to edit it. It doesn't make a difference to new readers, but for those that have it on alert, nothing has changed.

10/25/2013 - I've just posted a sequel to this story. It's called "Again and for the First Time."

11/15/2013 - Another sequel posted. It's called "Complexities of the Mind"

11/25/2013 - Yet another sequel. It's called "Proof of Ownership"

12/6/2013 - Another sequel finished - "A Touch of Chaos"