Not Mine Valentine
Noesis

Kensei sat on the edge of the table, biting the inside of his mouth as he watched the small taicho. "Exactly how long has he been keeping everything in?" The man carefully touched the boy's forehead with the back of his hand. "Well... at least we know you don't have a fever, so we know that you've been stressing yourself out."

"I have not!" Toshiro's small hands gripped the seat of his pants.

"At least tell me what you're upset about." The man glanced at the ceiling, but got no answer. He then let out a sigh and reached his hand out to ruffle the boy's hair. "I'm sorry that Mishiro barged in like this. Why are you so worried that everyone is going to think you've hit puberty?"

"Because they'll say I'm a pervert."

"Say what?" Kensei shook his head. "Please tell me this isn't another bit of his strange logic." The man's hand tapped the desk."Explain."

"If I hit puberty then I'll like girls, and if I like girls then I'm a pervert."

"It is some more of that insane logic of his!" The ninth division captain let out a groan and placed one of his hands on his forehead. 'Your logic doesn't compute."

"Yes it does!" The boy's head suddenly jerked up, the tears stopping.

"Great... he's in one hell of a mood today." The man let out a deep sigh. "No... it doesn't."

"Yes it does!"

"I guess then you could say that all girls who like guys are perverts as well."

"Say what?"

"The logic has to work both ways, doesn't it?" Kensei watched as the boy stopped and thought about the whole thing carefully.

"That does make sense."

"Of course it does."

"Matsumoto is obviously a pervert."

The ninth division taicho felt his jaw drop. "Is there no reasoning with him?" The man shook his head. "Say what? I'm not following your logic here."

"Matsumoto is always hugging me from behind, wearing provocative clothing and making Hisagi do her work for her. She's the only girl I know of who likes someone... Ichimaru... and she's also the only pervert I know that is female."

"You know Lisa."

"I've never seen her do anything perverted."

"I can't believe this is going this way. It's like reasoning with... oh great. Father like son."

"I'm back!" Mashiro came through the door, slamming it open again. She carried a trey on top of a box.

"Shut the door Mashiro." Again the door slammed.

The female set down the trey. "So what are we talking about right now?"

"You're not a part of this conversation."

"We're discussing the fact that anyone who likes anyone is a pervert."

"How so?"

"Matsumoto likes guys and is a pervert."

"I like guys and I'm not a pervert."

"Say what?" Kensei felt the corner of his mouth twitch. "You very much are a pervert!"

"I'm a self pervert Kensei, you know that."

Toshiro frowned, blinking a couple of times. "What does self pervert mean?"

"I enjoy touching myself!"

Kensei watched as Toshiro's eyes went wide. The boy then lifted his arms up, looking at them in panic before moving them to the sides of the chair as well as moving his legs so he wasn't touching himself. "Is the kid mental?" The ninth division taicho waved his hand. "That's not what she means and you don't want me to explain what she means."

"Ehh... why not?" Mashiro spoke up. "Also... Lisa doesn't like guys and she's a pervert. Strawberry and you both say so."

Toshiro relaxed a bit. "So she isn't sexually attracted to anyone?"

"Oi... how are you able to say that someone is sexually attracted to someone without flinching?" Kensei shook his head at the boy.

"Isn't that the proper medical terminology."

"He has a point. Lisa though just happens to like erotica, particularly those involving two men" Mishiro stated as she opened up her box. Toshiro's face suddenly turned pale. She looked over at the small taicho. "Did I say something wrong?"

"I don't think he realized until now that it was possible for a male to be sexually attracted to another male, or a female to be sexually attracted to a female. That, or it is hitting home in a very bad manner."

"That's sick!"

"It is? I thought Kensei borrowed a lot of Lisa's Manga."

"I do not! And..." The ninth division taicho turned to see the horrified look on the small taicho's face. "Look... I'm not sexually attracted to males, let alone little boys. I'm attracted most definitely to the opposite sex."

"Really? If you're attracted to the opposite sex then play with my boobies."

Kensei watched as the pallor on the small taicho's face paled even more, the boy's jaw dropping. He slammed his elbow into the top of Mashiro's head. "I'm not going to do that because unlike you I'm not a pervert." Kensei paused, noting that the boy had at this action suddenly become paler. There was also a very confused look on the boy's face. "Oi... whatever is the matter?"

"I'm not hitting puberty because that means I would have to like girls. I can't like girls because that would make me a pervert. I don't like guys either for that matter."

"You talk about not liking girls a lot, so there must be some girl you like." Mashiro piped up, placing a finger on her lips."

"Mashiro!" Kensei turned to glare at the female. Instead the female took out some strange watch like device and put it on her wrist before coming over and placing one on the small taicho's wrist. "Mashiro... why are you giving him that?"

"Because its fun! And he was crying earlier."

"I wasn't crying." Toshiro looked at the device, frowning as he did so. "Is this some kind of new soul phone."

"Push a button and find out. It's really cool."

One small finger pushed a button and the device suddenly spoke, causing him to jump in surprise. "Karakura red, transform!"

Quickly Toshiro removed the item from his wrist. "What the fuck!"

"I doubt you know what that word means any more then you know what the word pervert means."

"You don't like?" Mashiro frowned at Toshiro.

"Say the wrong thing and she'll throw a tantrum."

The small taicho glanced away. "It's not that I don't like it... "

"Then why did you take it off."

"I don't get it. Plus, it's obviously a toy and I'm not a little kid."

"Yes you are."

"What..."

"You are a little kid. I'll explain the whole super hero thing to you."

"Mashiro!" Kensei snapped the words out. "We're trying to discuss other things!"

"Super hero..." Toshiro blinked a couple of times. "Is this some sort of game?"

Kensei placed a hand on his forehead while Mashiro began to blabber about various super heroes. "There is this super hero that can fly through the air and shoot laser beams with his eyes."

"Is he some sort of shinigami I haven't heard about."

"No... this super hero is made up. There is another that has these metal claws."

"What exactly is so great about a super hero if they're made up?"

"Super heroes save the day no matter how bad things get." Mashiro held up two fingers for victory and stuck out her tongue while closing one eye.

A moment of silence occurred and Kensei tried to speak. "To forewarn you, when she gets started on..."

"So... they're like Kurosaki Ichigo."

Mashiro placed a finger on her mouth as she thought for a bit. "Strawberry would be a real life super hero I guess..."

"Tell me more."

"Oi..." Kensei shook his head at the two, but instead choose to sit down at the other end drinking the tea that his fukutaicho had brought to the room, eating a few snacks. The two were so wrapped up in the primarily one way conversation that they didn't hear the knock on the door, or Kensei asking who it is.

"Matsumoto Rangiku. I'm looking for my taicho."

"Come in." The man glanced over at the two, noting how focused the taicho seemed to be with what Mashiro was telling him.

"Did you succeed in talking to taicho about what you needed to talk to him about?"

"I was able to talk to him about the most important thing, though it didn't go as well as I would have liked. I still need to talk to him about what kind of class we're going to talk. Mashiro's changed the subject to super heroes."

"Super heroes... taicho's never been interested in that kind of thing before."

"I think his interest got perked when he and Mashiro came to the same conclusion that Ichigo is a real life super hero, though the kid hasn't gotten his powers back. Kind of like how some of those super hero stories end when they want to cancel the series really."

"Hm... well, it's nice seeing him taking some kind of interest in something his age group is interested in. That's the first positive we've had in awhile."

Kensei's voice lowered. "Well... on the positive side he's also managed to forget the fact Mashiro burst into the room during the middle of our conversation at a very bad moment."

"So that was what that was about. Thank you for forewarning me." Rangiku took a deep breath and then spoke up. "Taicho... it's lunch time."

Toshiro glanced up at his fukutaicho and then at the clock on the wall. "Sorry... I have to get going. Perhaps we could continue this conversation another time?"

"Really!"

The boy's head tilted to the side. "I guess so. It's rather interesting."