Not Mine Valentine
Anti Climatic

That night Toshiro stayed with Rangiku again and slept with no problem. He woke up before her, causing her to open her eyes in a groggy manner. "Taicho?"

"I'm going to go and finish taking care of today's paper work."

"So you can take a nap earlier then usual?" The words came out of the woman's mouth uninhibited.

"No. I want to talk to Kuna again. We never finished our conversation about heroes." Toshiro nearly jumped out of his skin as Rangiku sat up and looked him right in the eye with a look of utter surprise. "What? Something the matter?"

"You're actually going out of your way to socialize with someone?" The busty female shook her head in disbelief.

"I actually mentioned in front of you yesterday that I wanted to continue the conversation she and I were having." A frown spread across his face upon seeing that she in turn was frowning at him. "No?"

Rangiku took a deep breath. "Taicho... do not keep her from her work. Kensei has enough problems with that as it is."

"I thought he didn't have to worry about that because his other fukutaicho does all the work in the first place?" This comment caused a smile to break across the woman's face as she let out a sudden chuckle.

"No... you're right."

M

Mashiro carried a large cardboard box to the room Toshiro and Kensei were using the day before. She dropped the box onto the table and began to pull out various papers and other craft material. She sat down and began cutting out hearts when a few hours later a knock came from the door. A frown came across her face as the person was interrupting what she was doing. "Shiro-chan-san?'

"I don't think you should use two suffixes." The child watched as her face twisted up into a pout.

"Why are you here? Kensei isn't here?'

"I finished my work and wanted to see if we could continue the conversation from yesterday."

Mashiro then pouted at her papers. "That's the only reason you're here?"

"Yes... is something the matter with that?"

"Good." The pout suddenly left. "I have stuff to do other then Kensei's stupid paper work or anything else of the sort. Want to help?"

"What are you doing?" Toshiro came over. "Valentines?"

"Duh! Valentine's day is only two days away!" Mashiro was pouting again.

The small taicho flinched. "It is?"

"Duh!"

"I don't think Matsumoto's made a valentine for Ichimaru yet."

"Why not?"

"Why not indeed."

"Indeed!"

"So... what do you want me to do?" Toshiro listened to her explanation for a bit and set to work, their conversation drifting to heroes and how the small taicho didn't understand the point of laser eyes. Mashiro's comment back was simply that it was cool and powerful and blew things up. His question back was how could one see if their eyes were reflecting light. There had to be a different and better power.

Eventually though Mashiro managed to change the conversation. "If Rangiku and Gin were to have a baby what do you think they would be like?"

"What?"

"What do you think they would be like?"

"If the child were a girl it would be like Rangiku, if they were a boy like Gin."

"Ah... how about Kyoraku and Ukitake?" Mashiro watched as he blinked a couple of times in confusion. "Mayuri and a donkey?"

"Do you know how babies are even made?"

"Mayuri makes them by combining things. How I don't know. I just know that's how he made his fukutaicho."

Toshiro glanced at the ceiling. "The first one would be twins like Ukitake's zampaktuo. The second would be a Chappy."

"Is that how Mayuri created Chappy?"

"I don't know. Sounds logical to me considering the fact the man can be such a..." Toshiro paused then. "It's another word for donkey that I am quite sure Matsumoto wouldn't want me to say. Donkey's also have ears like bunnies and Chappy's personality can be a pain in the neck like a Donkey, not to mention she's also strong like a donkey."

"How about a helicopter and an apple."

The small taicho frowned. "Why don't you come up with this one?"

Mashiro glanced at the ceiling. "Since helicopters are like dragon flies I'm going to say flying dragonfly apple pie. Sounds yummy actually." She glanced at the ceiling. "How about Kensei and a banana?"

The two didn't notice the person they were talking about coming into the room. "Easy... clones of the sixth division taicho."

"What?" Both Toshiro and the green haired fukutaicho startled, turning to look at Kensei who had a rather horrified look on his face. "Why would I and a banana equate clones of Byakuya?"

"Anything plus a banana would equate a clone of Kuchiki." The words blurted out of the small taicho's mouth."

"What?" The older taicho's voice strained. "What exactly are you two doing?"

"We're making Valentine's." Mashiro held up her rather messy Valentine that had his name on it. "This is absolutely not for you."

"I mean, what are you two talking about?"

"We were talking about super heroes again." The corners of Toshiro's mouth twisted up a bit.

"After that."

"What kind of child certain people and things would make if the taicho of the twelfth division combined them."

"Kensei! Did you know that you get Chappy by combining Mayuri and a donkey?"

The taicho of the ninth division's jaw dropped. Toshiro then went into his explanation about how it would work which made absolutely no sense at all but for some reason made perfect sense to the two in front of him. He frowned at the two, wanting to shake his head but knowing that the small taicho would pick up on his discomfort. "Why is it that me plus a banana equals Byakuya clones?"

The small taicho blinked a couple of times. "You don't know?"

"Know... I don't."

"Anything plus a banana equals clones of him."

"What..."

"He thinks bananas make good prizes because they're nutritious. So it makes a lot of sense." Mashiro's comment made Kensei mentally slap himself.

"Exactly... no, I don't want to know what these two are thinking. Actually... did Gin ever think like this? Shinji has more experience with that brat." Again he mentally slapped himself. "No... Hitsugaya Taicho is not a brat despite the fact that person was one. He's..." Kensei folded his arms across his chest watching the two as they went back to their conversation. "No... he's a normal kid who unfortunately has an overly high IQ."

M

A cup of saki touched the table. "So that's my story about what happened this afternoon."

"Let me get this straight. Yesterday you were having problems with Hitsugaya Taicho absolutely not understanding anything about hitting puberty as well as what bad words mean..."

"Actually, I found out later on that Rangiku's actually been able to talk some sense into him. He's actually trying to restrain himself when he says bad words." Kensei waved his hand.

"As I was saying..." Rose shook his head at his two companions. "... today you ended up having to babysit him?"

"If you were in his shoes would you rather choose between that child captain or my former third seat." Shinji swallowed his drink down.

"The one I'm dealing with any day."

"Neither... I've heard from my current fukutaicho that Hitsugaya Taicho can be just as bad as Ichimaru Gin at times." The curly blond shook his head again. "Seriously... whose going to be babysitting that person when he gets out."

"I am." Silence fell over the small room. It was broken by a sudden knock on the door.

The three men turned to see the fukutaicho of the tenth and eighth divisions. "They said you were in here today Kensei. I thought I'd ask how things went with him."

"You aren't worried about leaving him alone?" The man frowned, folding his arms.

"Taicho is asleep... and also insisted that I actually get some time off and go drinking with Nanao. He gave an order."

"Yes... the kid is so like Gin it isn't funny." Shinji chuckled into his sake. "Come in and close the door."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Nanao glared at the man.

"It means he's not like that man."

"Of course he's not like his father!" Another silence came over the room.

"Wait... what?" Rose's face suddenly paled. "He's... what!"

"Wait... I thought everyone."

"Sorry! Nanao's drunk!" Rangiku chimed in with a smile.

Kensei glared at the two women. "Hold it... shouldn't you be the one being apologized too?"

"Ran knows I can't hold my liquor, so I don't need to apologize." This statement caused Kensei and Rose to flinch.

Shinji waved at them. "By the way... if you were to take me and a banana what would you get."

"Not this stupidity again. It's bad enough... well, I didn't expect Kensei of all people to bring it up." The third division taicho shook his head.

Nanao blinked a couple of times. "Why would you want to make something from yourself and a banana?"

"That's not the point." Rose shook his head. "It's just some strange bit of conversation we were having continued off a conversation someone else was having."

The two females looked at each other. "Kuchiki Byakuya."

"Wait..." Kensei stopped short. "He was right?"

"Right about what?" Rangiku blinked a couple of times in surprise.

"That anything plus a banana would be Byakuya clones."

"Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say clones." Nanao shook her head. "That mans fascination with bananas is only on the same level as that mascot of his."

The bust female leaned forward, laughing as she did. "Who exactly came up with this conversational piece in the first place?"

"Your taicho and my fukutaicho." Kensei leaned back and stared at the ceiling.

"Well, Mashiro can come up with some strange things." Nanao shook her head. "However, I don't see Hitsugaya Taicho putting up with that kind of... well, any kind of childish nonsense."

Rose raised an eyebrow. "That's strange. He's the one who said that anything plus bananas would make Byakuya clones as well as Mayuri plus a donkey would make Chappy."

The two women looked at each other with worried looks. Finally they turned back with Nanao speaking. "Well... that is Hitsugaya Taicho's typical train of logic. However... its not like him to have such strange conversations. He's been... acting weird lately."

The third division taicho frowned. "Back though first too what you said about Gin being that boy's father?"

"I think Hitsugaya Taicho acting strangely is the more important conversation to have!" Nanao slammed her hands down onto the table hard.

Shinji let out a sigh. "Now, now. If we fill in Rose he might be able to better mentally handle the conversation."

The captain in question opened his mouth at first to agree, only to snap it shut to glare at the other blond taicho. Rangiku carefully filled him in on a few details before he shook his head. "Could Gin have something to do with why he's acting the way he is?"

"Can't be... he doesn't know." The fukutaicho of the tenth looked at the table, gripping her pant legs. "I have told him yet."

"That..." Rose paused. "Everyone though has noticed that this started when Gin got back, Hitsugaya Taicho acting out and not restraining himself when he normally would? It can't just be a puberty thing."

"It isn't. He's... well, he's hit that stage but he's been going through the others and while him hitting puberty accounts for some other things, it doesn't account for this." Rangiku glanced at the ground. "Taicho though can't possibly know. He honestly believes he died on a plain of ice and came to Soul Society."

"So that's why you've held off telling him the truth." The third division frowned.

"Do you think I'm wrong? It's a delusion he's made for himself. Breaking Momo's delusion has been painful."

"I don't think he'll react the same way as her though." Shingi held up a drink. "Their personalities are different."

Kensei raised an eyebrow. "Well, I for sure aren't looking forward to him finding out. The kids panic attacks are in their own right a nightmare."

A hand clapped over Rangiku's mouth. "Why didn't you tell me that he had one? I didn't mean to impose that on you."

The taicho of the fifth division frowned, folding his arms across his chest. "Ran-chan... how long has Hitsugaya Taicho had panic attacks."

"Since we've known him. They've always been... bad." Nanao suddenly passed out, hitting the table and startling the other two taichos. Shinji frowned. "Perhaps you two should take her back to her division? I'll walk Ran-chan home."

"That's..." Kensei glared at him, but didn't argue.

The man stood up and left. "I didn't think that his fukutaicho would pass out like that."

"She... normally she can hold her liquor. I decided since I hadn't gone out for sake in awhile that I'd order myself an extra strong one, but..."

"Your orders got mixed up."

"I can hold my liquor better then her and I do tease her about it."

"Ran-chan... I've heard that you can hold your liquor better then a lot of people and can even compete with a couple of the older taicho. Actually, I heard you've managed to out drink Ukitake."

"My taicho's still the last one standing in the end."

Shinji laughed then. "That's because the kid doesn't drink a drop."

"Oh, he has drunk sake before. For ceremonial purposes mind you. If there is one thing he's good about using his age for its for getting out of drinking mass amounts. Plus, Kyoraku may be a drunk but he doesn't honestly like the idea of my taicho drinking with as young as he is."

"More and more people are going to notice his odd behavior."

"I know, it's just..."

"Don't worry. The rumor he's finally hit puberty is going around and those who've noticed his odd behavior have decided to pass it off as that."

Rangiku frowned then. "No, not everyone. I can think of plenty who think otherwise."