Okay, next chapter is up! I hope you like it. This shows a little bit of Leo in the begining or middle (nothing big though), while it ends on a Raph note, to show you a little bit of both. Please, I need more peopele to tell me who they think Alex should be with. It's about a dead tie! Anyways, please review.
Thanks go to Jess Marylin, kaaayyytteee, Summer903 (a lovely message, thank you), StillDoll13, TMNTluckygirl (Who also ready and help me a little on this, thanks! I know you said I didn't need to, but I'm going it anyways. XP), and the unknown Guest.

Chapter 8
Reflections

Casey had invited everyone to his grandmother's farmhouse a couple weeks later, as the weather started to get nicer for some rest and relaxation. April was very eager to get away from everything and to just go relax. Alex thought that there was a slight ulterior motive to it though, seeing as she had started to see signs that they both had feeling for one another.

Alex on the other hand, couldn't wait to go out there for some serious training and meditation. There were so many things running through her head that she started to take up meditating again. That had helped her sleeping dilemma. Since she was clearing her head with meditation before bed, she was able to sleep better, though when she woke up, that was a different story all together. At school, the girl had often been caught staring out the windows as her mind started to wonder. Her grades weren't slipping, but Kiley, Emily and Erik were starting to notice.

Every since she started to go back to school, Alex had started to hang out with Erik again, but now the twins joined them. They all seemed to get along well together and they formed their own little group. Amanda and Arthur still stuck together, but started to bad talk about them, not even behind their backs either.

That had been bothering her too. That, on top of her brothers and the new discovery about Fred, Alex really needed the time to get away from everything.

The first couple of days they had been there, Alex had gone off on her own, mainly as she trained herself. The only time she every saw anyone else was when she was coming into the house to get something or do something. She'd go in to get food when everyone was asleep and to sleep herself, but she'd get up before anyone else, and when she went to bed, everyone else would have already turned in.

That kind of worried April, but she knew that Alex had some things on her mind. She knew that most of the time, she could figure things out on her own and that she'd be okay. April knew how Alex worked, but the guys didn't. They were very concerned about their youngest human friend. They hadn't ever really seen her act that way except when they had been in the same exact place when Leo was hurt, but they just suspected that situation was caused by her worry for Leo. Though Leo knew differently.

Alex knew that they were worried, yet she didn't stop what she was doing until her intense training -that she had promised herself she would do to really get herself into good shape - was over. And that was exactly what she did. The first day she took a break confused and shocked her friends, though they were kind of relieved that Alex had started to relax.

The sun was shining high up in the sky as April sat down on a picnic blanket, Casey in a lawn chair and the guys training. Alex was sitting up in a branch of the tree that the blanket was next to, her back resting against the truck. She was fiddling with a leaf in her hand as she watched the sky and the guys every once in a while. She was having a hard time trying to concentrate on anything for more than a couple minutes, due to her mind going back to all of her unanswered questions.

The guys walked over and sat down on the blanket with April. Alex tuned into their conversation, looking down from her spot in the tree.

"It's no big deal," Raph said, "really, but I was just thinking about the first time we met the Shredder and we almost had Leonardo here going over to the dark side."

Leo groaned, rubbing his head. "Here we go again. You know, I still feel like an idiot about that whole thing."

"I don't blame you," Raph said. "The Shredder almost had you believing he was a good guy, remember?" He placed his hand on his brother's shoulder and continued saying, "The Shredder invited you to a little party and like a sucker, you went. Alone."

I didn't know about that, Alex though, turning her body so that she was facing them as they reminisced. When did that happened and why didn't I know about it?

"Join me, Leonardo," Mikey said in a funny voice. "I am your father."

"I can't believe you bought the Shredder's whole twisted story," Raph said.

"Neither can I," Leo said.

"Do not feel bad, my son," Splinter said. "You hoped his words were true. It is the nature of a good heart to hope."
"I'm just glad you guys opened my eyes," Leo said. "Especially you, Sensei. I should have seen through the Shredder's lies. I should've seen it coming."

"Yeah, well, I'm just glad that the Shredder didn't see Master Splinter coming," Mikey said. "Remember that first time we went to face the Shredder? He kicked our shells all over the place."

"Yeah," Raph said. "Too bad he forgot about one thing. A little ninety pound weapon of mass destruction we like to call dear old dad."

Alex couldn't help but smirk at the thought. Master Splinter was so sweet, wise and, well, old. It was very hard to think of him as anything other than just that. She knew he was the strongest of all of them, but she still found it a strange picture.

"I thought I had avenged my Master Yoshi," Splinter said, making Alex's smirk slip off her face. That had dampened the mood. "But the Shredder was not finished."

"Finished?" Casey asked. "I wonder if he'll ever be finished."

"He does have a habit of coming back," Leo said.

"Yeah," Don added. "Remember April's place?"

"I wish I could forget it," Mikey said.

You're not the only one, Mikey, Alex thought. That night had been one of the worst nights in Alex's life. Not only did she lose her brother's that night to the completely control of the Utrom Ray that the Shredder had, but she almost lost Leo because she didn't heed their warning. If she had done that, she could've saved April's shop and their home. Leo wouldn't have had to go through all of that pain and the guys wouldn't have had to go through the pain of almost losing their brother.

Before looking away from the group, Alex caught Leo looking at Alex. She couldn't bear to look at him while the topic was still where it was. The thought of…No, she wouldn't think about it.

"That was not a good day," Leo said.

April sighed, causing Alex to glance down at her. She was sitting with her arms wrapped around her knees, her expression sad. "I really miss that old place. Do you think he's gone? For good, the Shredder?"

My brother's aren't back yet and neither is Fred, Alex thought. It's been a couple weeks since I last spoke to them. They would've been back by now. So, maybe there is a chance that the Shredder isn't gone yet? I wouldn't be completely shocked by that. That alien just doesn't die.

"I don't know," Raph said. "I sure thought Leo finished him off that night at the Foot Headquarters."

That was the night I was taken and shot with the ray that controls my family, Alex remembered.

"But it wasn't the end of him," Raph finished. "Remember that night our pals the Utrom were finally going to beam themselves back home? The Shredder came back to TCRI building, madder than ever."

That was the night that I got to speak to my brothers and found out that Fred was the last Elite member, Alex thought. It was the night I found out that the affects of the ray are temporary and that they wear off. I got hope that I could really get my brother's back. And maybe even my best friend.

"Seems like he's always trying to make sure we never leave anywhere alive," Leo said.

You've got that right. That or he's trying to get me to join him and my brother's. It never works though, does it?

"Bomb, shmom," Mikey said. "You guys are forgetting the freakiest part of that whole ordeal; the Shredder's true identity! Man, when we found out the Shredder was an Utrom, I nearly soiled my shell."

Why doesn't that surprise me? That made the girl smirk slightly.

"Nasty little bug," Raph said, almost making Alex laugh.

"How come every place we go, things get blown up?" Mikey asked.

"Just lucky, I guess," Raph answered.

"Lucky? Yeah," Don said. "But that last time wasn't so lucky for the Shredder."

"There's no way he could have survived that, right?" April asked.

"I don't know, April. The Shredder may play rough, he may dirty, but he don't play dead," Mikey said.

"Yeah, but he sure leaves a path of destruction where ever he goes," Leo said. "I can't help but think of Master Yoshi. Not only was he Master Splinter's sensei, he was also a Guardian, sworn to protect valuable secrets about the Utrom. Secrets that Shredder and his forces would stop at nothing to learn."

That makes me think, Alex thought. The Shredder had come after my parents, my whole family. Did he really just want our skills, or did we know something that he wanted? Where my parents Guardians? Were they training us to become what they were? To protect the Utrom? Alex sighed. She couldn't' think of any way to find out the questions that were plaguing her.

"He didn't go down without a fight though," added Raph.

"Yeah," Mikey said. "From what Master Splinter says, Master Yoshi was one tough dude!"

Yeah, well so did my parents, Alex thought. But they're gone and they were the best fights I ever saw.

"I wish we could've met him," Don thought out loud.

"You have to admire Master Yoshi's courage," Leo said.

"He was defiant to the last," Don said.

"Yeah, he really threw it in the Shredder's face," Raph put in. "Even though it cost him his life."

Was that how my parents went? With honor? Alex didn't know the answer to that and she didn't think she'd ever get it. Her and her brother's didn't see their parents die. But she was hoping that was how they went. They lived by the honor code. That was how they would have wanted to go.

"When I think of my Master Yoshi, my heart aches," Splinter said. "But I know that Master Yoshi kept his honor to the end. A true warrior and a true guardian."

Suddenly, Casey jumped out of his chair, yelling out in anger. Everyone knew how he felt, they were all feeling it. Casey was just letting it out. "The Shredder, Hun, and the Purple Dragons," he picked up his chair and started to beat it against the tree that Alex was sitting in, causing her to hold onto the branch she was sitting on, just in case she was hit and knocked out to it, "bunch of goons. I just want to ah!"

April got up and took Casey's hands, pulling him back down to the blanket. "I think what Mr. Jones here is trying to say is we're sorry for your lose, Master Splinter."

"Thank you," he said. "We have all suffered at the hands of the Shredder."

April and Casey both noticed that they were still holding onto each other's hands and let go, awkwardly looking away from one another with blushes dusted on their faces.

"Isn't that right, Alex?" Splinter asked, looking up at the girl in the tree.

"What do you mean, Master Splinter?" Mikey asked.

"Yeah, you've lost me as well," April said, looking up at her niece from the ground.

"It is not my story to tell," Splinter said.

Alex cleared her throat and looked down at the people below her. She wasn't looking directly at them, only the center of the blanket for she knew if she caught any of their eyes, she would lose the courage she had to tell them what had happened to her. About what Splinter was secretly trying to get her to say to the other's for her own good.

"My parents were killed by the Shredder," Alex blurted out, her voice quiet, showing little emotion to prevent herself from breaking down in front of her closest friends. "The night they died, they came to our house and killed my parents because I assume they would not fight for such an unjust cause and such and dishonorable man."

"Oh Alex," April said. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I didn't want you to think about it, okay?" Alex said, looking up at her aunt. "You lost your brother, sister-in-law and you nephews, wasn't that bad enough? Why put you through even more pain by telling you why you brother and sister-in-law were murdered before their children?"

"Because you lost your parents and your brothers that night," April said. "You were there when it happened, you saw most of it. You went through a whole lot more than I did. You're my family, Alex. I'm here for you. That's why. You shouldn't have kept this all bottled up to yourself. It'll eat you alive."

Alex didn't know what to say to that. She looked away from the group and back at the leave still in her hand. "It wasn't your burden to bare," was all she was able to come back with. She took a deep breath and jumped down from the branch, landing on her feet. She started to walk away as she said, "Im going to set up a camp fire. It's starting to get dark."

As she build the fire just to their left, she listened to Donny explain how they would never had come to be who they were if the Shredder not done what he did. It made complete sense, but he had to repeat himself in simpler terms for Mikey to understand once he ran through it the first time. She did have to admit, she was glad it she had met them. Though she would still be living a normal life if it hadn't. She would be with her parents and brother, watching a movie at home together or something like that.

There was one thing that kept popping into her head though. She couldn't think of anything else she would want to be doing. She couldn't see herself doing anything differently nor doing anything else. She couldn't see herself being a normal person.

"Wow, that's really deep," Mikey said.

Raph shivered at the thought. Alex was sitting next to Leo around the fire as she listened. "Being that closely related to the Shredder makes me feel kind of dirty."

"Hmm, the Shredder may be a part of our origin, but it is we that chose our fate," Splinter said.

"And even if the Shredder is still out there, no matter what he throws at us, no matter how he messes with our lives, nothing he does will change the most important things; that we're family," Leo said.

Mikey burst out laughing when Leo was done talking. "Leo, that was off the charts on the sap-o-meter. You've been watching way too many after school specials, bro."

"Just eat your smores and keep quiet, Mikey," Raph ordered. "Leo's got a point."

Mikey threw a marsh mellow at Raph and hit him in the center of his face. He had gotten angry at that and it was obvious something was going to happen. "You are so dead, laughing boy!" Raph got up and jumped across the fire to tackle Mikey.

"Watch the gram crackers!" Leo yelled, though Raph had already stepped on the package.

Leo and Don went to go break it up, though they just ended up getting pulled into it. Casey jumped up to join them for the pure fun of it. April, Alex and Splinter all remained around the fire, just watching them, smirks on their faces.

"Well, it's definitely a family," April said. "But do you think that we'll ever be able to teach the "kids" some manors?"

"Ms. O'Neil," Splinter said, "teaching the ancient art of ninjutsu is hard enough. I'm afraid even I cannot work miracles."

"I suppose you're right," April said. "Can't help but hope, can you? You should've seen my brother trying to teach his boys manors. I think Alex was the only child they had who was able to pick them up, right Alex?" April and Splinter looked at the girl behind them, waiting for a replied, though the girl just stared at the fire. "Alex?"

Alex, who's gaze was blurry and unfocused, looked up at them, her head resting on her knees while her arms were wrapped around them. "Hm?" she hummed, not brothering to move.

"Are you okay?" April asked, seeing the bothered look her niece had on.

"There is something you wish to tell us," Splinter said, almost reading the girls thoughts.

Alex had been debating with herself whether or not to tell them about her brothers and Fred during their stay there. She was going to tell them eventually, but she couldn't find the right time.

"You know you can tell us anything, right Alex?" April stated, which caught the attention of the boys.

"Is something wrong?" Leo asked, getting up and walking over to the campfire.

"I believe Alex is ready to tell us something she had has wanted to say for a while now," Splinter said.

"You okay, Alex?" Raph asked, sitting down next to the girl, taking Casey's spot, forcing Casey to sit next to April.

Alex didn't nod her head or anything. She just stared at the fire as she tried to think of the words to say. "Leo and Master Splinter already know part of this," she admitted, "and Raph found out part of it, though he doesn't know any of the details really. Nobody else knows except for that, really."

"Alex, what's going on?" April asked.

"I believe it is best for her to speak without interruption," Splinter said. "Please, continue."
Alex nodded her head at him in a silent thanks. "The night my parents died, I didn't just lose them. My three older brothers, Marcus, Nathan and Zack were kidnapped when they tried to safe me. A little while after we met you guys, I found out where they were.

"My brother's were forced to work for the Shredder," she admitted. "The three of them are three members of the four Elite Ninja that he has. The same ones that have tried to kill us many times before, that almost killed Leo."

"How could you have not told us?" Raph yelled. He shot up from his spot, looking almost angrier than she had ever seen. Though not as angry as she had seen him at the Shredder, but close.

"Raphael!" Splinter yelled. "Sit down and listen!" He complied.

"They warned me that he was coming the night we were attacked at Aprils. I'm so sorry," she said, tears running down her cheeks as she continued. She felt Leo's hand resting on her shoulder, encouraging her to go on, seeing as he knew this part already from the night she had confessed it to him when she thought he was asleep, injured at that farmhouse they were at. "I should've figured it out. I could've stopped it."

"We don't blame you for that, Alex," Leo said. "You couldn't have known that was what would happened."

She shook her head, disagreeing with him, but moved on. "None of you know this part," she said, catching their attention. "The night we were at the Foot Headquarters, I was kidnapped and found by Raph a couple days later, you know that. But what you don't know is that I was taken by the Elites.

"The Utrom developed a ray that allows something along the lines of mind control," she explained. "That was what all four of them were shot with to make them comply. The affects wear off on their own about a month or so after, but they kept getting re-hit with it. I was hit with it.

"That was why I was so strange the past couple of weeks. When I snapped at April when I woke up. When I snapped at Mikey when we were prisoners at the games. That was why my anger became worse, my eyes turned red and I got those really bad headaches. Somehow I was able to stay in control most of the time, but I couldn't stop it completely. We lied to you; Honeycutt, Mortu and I, we told you I had gotten a D'hoonibian disease while they were actually reversing the affects for me.

"While I was under the control of the reversal though, I was able to speak to my brother's. That was how I was able to find out the Shredder was an Utrom before you told me when I woke up. However, I also found out one piece of information I didn't know. I found out who the fourth member of the Elite is."

"You did?" Don asked.

"Who is it?" Mikey pressed.

"One of my best friends from school," she admitted. "I-I don't know how or why, bu-but he became one of them."

"No," April said, realizing who she was talking about. "It can't be. I know you said he hadn't been in school, but not-"

"I wish I was wrong, but I went to talk to his mother the other day," Alex said. "And it confirmed my information. My best friend from before I met you guys, Richard who I call Fred, is the last Elite member."

"And you didn't think it was important to tell us any of this before?" Raph yelled, shooting up from his spot again. "How could you keep something like this from us? How can you expect us to trust you when you keep secrets, important thing, from us?"

"Raph, I-"

"No!" he shouted, putting his hand up to stop her. "I don't want to hear anything else from you." Without another word, he stormed off to the barn where he usually took out his anger.

The rest of them were left around the fire, completely silent. Alex didn't know if it was because they were shocked at Raph's outburst or because they agreed with him. The only thing she knew for sure was that she really didn't like the silence. "Somebody says something, anything. Please, just don't say nothing," Alex nearly begged.

"We understand why you didn't tell us," Leo said, looking at everyone around him, seeing they agreed with him. "But we could've helped you."

"Help me do what?" Alex retorted. "I didn't even know what was going on with me."

"I could've taken some blood samples or something," Don said.

"They took your brothers?" Mikey asked. "I don't know what I've done if they took you guys."

"We hold nothing against you, Alex," Splinter said. "But I do suggest you talk with Raphael. He seems to be taking it rather hard."
"Yes Master," Alex replied, bowing her head and getting up. She slowly made her way over to the barn. She stood outside the door, watching Raph as he beat up a homemade punching bag filled with hay. It seemed he was taking his anger out on the bag. At least it's not me…yet, Alex thought. "Raph?" she asked, walking into the open.

"Go away!" he yelled back, not turning his back to her as she walked in.

Alex was tempted to do as he said, fearing to anger him more, but she needed to talk to him. "No," she declared weakly, crossing her arms. She took a couple steps forward, leaning against a post. "We need to talk about this."

Raph quickly spun around to glare angrily at the girl. "What's there to talk about when you're keeping things from us?" Raph shouted. "We tell you everything we know and how do you repay us? By keeping secrets!"

"I was trying to protect my family!" Alex yelled, hot tears streaming down her cheeks. That got him to lower his shoulders slightly. He didn't say anything, so the girl continued. "You of all people should understand, Raph. You'd do anything for your family, for you father and brothers.

"That doesn't mean I'd lie to the closest thing I have to it," he replied.

"I did it because I couldn't stand to lose that one too!" she yelled, punched the post she had been leaning on, cracking it. "I couldn't stand to have you guys push me away because of my brothers. I was trying everything in my power to save them while not losing you guys either. Raph, I can't lose you guys.

"I can't lose you," she said, quieting down, her head falling. Her hand came up to her face, covering it as she sobbed.

"Alex," he said, stepping towards her, his voice soft.

"I know I shouldn't have kept it from you and I'm sorry about that, but it's not like I can go back and change it now. It kills me to see you like this because of me," she admitted. "I'm sorry I put you through that. I never meant for it to happen-" Alex couldn't finish what she was saying due to her heavy sobbing.

Alex sank down to the ground, unable to support herself any longer. The girl's shoulders were shaking. She didn't know how long she was sitting there before she felt a hand on her shoulder, making her look up at the red mask above her. He looked down at her with sad eyes, and a small smile that was trying to reassure the girl.

Raph bent down, pulling the girl onto his lap and held her close as she sat sideways on him. His left hand was whipping away the tears and then it moved to her red hair while the other was around her shoulders, holding her close and tightly. Alex was stiff for a moment, before finally relaxing and resting her head against his chest. She felt warm and safe sitting like that with Raph.

"I didn't mean to make you cry," he admitted. "I was just frustrated. I thought we told each other everything, you know? Those were big secrets and well, I don't. I just didn't like it that you kept something from me."

"I was the one that kept it from you," Alex said. "I'm the one apologizing."

"But I did something bad too," he said. "And…And you know, I kind of, sort of regret getting all worked up. I'm…I'm sorry."

Alex pulled away slightly hearing him say that. She looked up at him, shocked at what she had heard him say. Raphael, the stubborn, hotheaded turtles had apologized to her. She knew that took a lot for him to say that, seeing as he almost never apologized for anything. It had taken a lot of courage for him to do that. It really meant something.

"Thank you, Raph," she said. Looking him straight in the eyes. "That means a lot. And I'm sorry too."

"I know," he said, pulling her back, making her rest back on his chest like she had been when she was crying. "Thanks."

The two staid like that for a while. Alex ended up falling asleep like that. Raph gently carried the girl to her room that night, and tucked her in.

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