Author's Note: You know, I came to a realization today - This fanfic will eventually go on hitaus until the third book in the Divergent trilogy comes out and I can read it. But, for now, enjoy this chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail, One Piece, Bleach, Naruto, Kuroshitsuji, Hetalia, Fullmetal Alchemist, or Divergent.

The next day, I awake, shower, get dressed, and great breakfast. But, there's something on my mind that I can't put a finger on.

"Levy, what's today? Besides Friday," I ask Levy.

"It's Visitation Day. Our families visit us," Levy explains. I then spit out my coffee all over Levy's brand-spanking new copy of the latest volume of One Piece: Parallel Works.

I didn't know mom and dad were coming today.

"I didn't know mom and dad were coming today," I say meekly. Levy sighs.

"Me neither, but that's why Steve Jobs invented a calender app for the iPhone and iPad," Levy says before her eyes dart to her manga. "Aww, Lucy! I wanted to know what was going to happen to Blaise after Saint Ninamori sentenced him to be executed in her weird-ass dollhouse."

I hit Levy with the manga.

"Thanks for spoiling the Playdate Arc for me when I'm only on the Erin Island Arc!" I cry. What surprises me is that I caught up to both One Piece and One Piece: Parallel Works. I laughed when Heathcliffe had to crossdress in order to hide from his evil father, I cried when Ace died, I cheered when Yulia grabbed a poison arrow headed toward her and she used it to stab Shiro, and I went "aww" when Luffy told Robin "Say you want to live" during Enies Lobby.

One Piece is truly a magical anime.

"Mom, we need to talk. It's about that faction aptitude test I had to take," I say as I approach my mom.

"Okay," My mom says before I decide to take her into the one room nobody will be in - My bedroom. "Why are we in the bedroom? Does this have to do with that lecture you had in health class?"

I sigh.

"I'm an S.O.S. Brigadier," I blurt out. My mom puts her hand to her mouth.

"Oh, Lucy, I still love you just the way you are," My mom says as she puts her hand on my shoulder. "But, you should be careful saying those things. You could go to pirate jail for that."

I sweatdrop.

"Okay?" I say. Where's the hidden camera? "Speaking of which, where's dad? Is he visiting Gray?"

"He's not, he had to work today," My mom explains. "But, if you can, swing by the Kuroshitsuji faction compound for me today. Also, if you can, could you ask Gray about the simulation serum they're going to use during the initiation for this faction?"

I grow silent. My mom was a pirate?

"You were a pirate?" I ask mom, who smiles.

"Yes, I was. I did what I wanted, because a pirate is free. You are a pirate, too, Lucy," Mom explains. Then, Gajeel, Levy, Elfman, Loke, Juvia, Alphonse, Winry, Edward, Jellal, Cana, and Natsu enter the room.

"Yar-har, fiddle-dee-dee
Being a pirate is alright with me
Do what you want because a pirate is free
You are a pirate!" Gajeel, Levy, Elfman, Loke, Juvia, Alphonse, Winry, Edward, Jellal, Cana, and Natsu sing before they exit the room. Mom and I sweatdrop.

"Are those your friends?" Mom asks me. I sigh.

"Yeah, they are," I answer. Loke then re-enters the room.

"Hey, Lucy, your mom is a MILF," Loke says before he leaves the room. My mom turns white.

"Lucy, do you know if that guy is taking any drugs?" My mom asks me after we sit in silence for a moment.

"No. He's just sexually deprived," I answer.

"I resent that remark!" Loke yells from outside my room. My mom gets up and hugs me.

"I'm gonna go. One Piece faction got too weird ever since I transferred to Hetalia faction. Toodles," Mom says before she power walks out of my room.

Being an S.O.S. Brigadier can bring on some very strange things. Sadly, things will most likely get stranger from here.

Just as I'm about to leave for the Kuroshitsuji faction compound a few hours later, Natsu stops me.

"Hey, where are you going? Don't you want to see the rankings for how well everyone did in their initiation fights?" Natsu asks me.

"Uhhh... I'll just take a brief peek, then I have to go. I need to visit my brother at the Kuroshitsuji faction compound," I explain.

"Fair enough. You get first priority," Natsu says as he pushes me through the crowd and in front of a chalkboard, which says the following:

One Piece faction initiation ranking #1:

1. Edward Elric
2. Loke
3. Gajeel Redfox
4. Levy McGarden
5. Juvia Loxar
6. Lucy Heartfilia
7. Elfman Strauss
8. Alphonse Elric
9. Winry Rockbell

I got sixth?! No freaking way! I made the cut!

"Hell yeah! In your face, losers!" I yell as I point to the crowd of pirates, who sweatdropped.

"I ranked higher than you," Loke says with a smirk. I spit at Loke's feet.

"Will you shut up, you sexist pig?!" I yell.

"What the hell?! Why did Lucy rank?!" Juvia cries. "And why is Levy above me?!"

Levy looks to me and gives me a high-five.

"Hell yeah! Let's party!" Gajeel shouts. Juvia glares at us.

"This ain't over," Juvia says smugly before she leaves the crowd.

Because of Levy and Gajeel's party, it's midnight when I go to bed, which means that I will need to talk to Gray tomorrow or something.

However, I'm awoken by screams.

"Shut up!"

"Somebody, turn on the lights!"

The lights go on, and I can see Edward lying on the floor. There is a butter knife stabbed in his eye and Pepsi spilled all over the floor. A peanut butter and jelly sandwich with the crusts half-cut off lies next to him.

"What happened?!" I cry.

"I wanted a midnight snack, so I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. As I was walking back to my bed, I tripped and fell. Long story short, always cut the crusts off of your sandwich BEFORE you return to your bed," Edward explains. I turn to Levy.

"Get the doctor," I tell Levy. It's then that I notice that Loke and Elfman are missing from the crowd. I have the feeling that one of them tripped up Edward.

The next morning, I awake to Edward and Winry's beds stripped down.

"Edward and Winry decided to become Homestuck fans," Levy tells me at breakfast.

"Oh," I say. Gajeel, Levy, and I grow silent.

"Now Alphonse is all alone. Poor guy," Gajeel says as he stares longingly into his pancakes. I sigh.

"Attention, everyone, you've all been moved up a rank since two One Piece faction members decided to worship Andrew Hussie. Have a nice day!"

Natsu then wheels a whiteboard into the room, which says:

One Piece faction initiation ranking #1 (Revision):

1. Loke
2. Gajeel Redfox
3. Levy McGarden
4. Juvia Loxar
5. Lucy Heartfilia
6. Elfman Strauss
7. Alphonse Elric
8. Joffery Baratheon
9. Rose Tyler

Everyone in the room (save for a certain trio consisting of Juvia Loxar, Elfman Strauss, and Loke) cheers. Even I cheer, even though two of my friends quit being pirates.

"I feel like Yuki-Rin asked me to join the Capricorn Pirates!" Levy exclaims with joy. I would be happy too, had Edward and Winry not left.

Wait, who are Joffery and Rose? (1)

(1) - Joffery is from Game of Thrones and Rose is from Doctor Who. I used their names in the ranking list as placeholder names since I didn't have enough people.

Review if you want to see Lucy's mental simulation!