Author's Note: The crow goes "caw caw", and so does the Davesprite. This means that it's time to begin the chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

The next day, the mental simulations begin for everyone. Every pirate is sitting in the hallway, and we're all bored as heck.

"Is this seriously our mental simulation?" Levy asks me.

"Well, if it is, I think we've already seen paint dry," I add. Then, two pirates exit the simulation room with a screaming Cana in tow.

"No! I refuse to go to an A.A. meeting! I don't have a drinking problem!" Cana shrieks. Everyone sweatdrops.

"Well, that was new," Levy comments.

"Lucy Heartfilia!"

"That's me," I say before I get up.

"Remember, Lucy, if you see a Weeping Angel, don't blink. Blink and you're dead," Levy explains.

"Thanks for the heads-up," I say before I go into the mental simulation room. It's empty, save for Natsu, a bunch of computers, a dentist's chair, a box of donuts, and several empty cans of Red Bull.

"Hi, Lucy! Ready for your mental simulation?!" Natsu asks me cheerfully. I sweatdrop.

"Sure..." I say cautiously as I sit down in the dentist's chair. Natsu pulls a virtual reality helmet over my eyes.

"Remember, this is a mental simulation going on inside of your head. It's all in your head, Lucy. If these mental simulations continue outside of this room, please seek professional help," Natsu explains as he presses some buttons. "Oh, by the way, my chocolate cake is a lie. If Jellal tells you about my chocolate cake, tell him that it was made with his mom's chest hair."

Then, I'm dragged into my mental world. It's a flat grassland, with grain growing all around me. This doesn't seem so bad.

"I could build an entire village here. Raise my RPG army and stuff," I comment. A crow then lands on my shoulder. "And, it's my first member of my RPG party!"

The crow then pecks at my shoulder.

Okay? I'm seriously scared of crows?

Then, a whole flock of crows fly down and peck at me everywhere.

"What the frick?! Natsu, this isn't funny!" I yell as I shield myself from the crows, who keep poking me. I do the one thing we're always taught when an earthquake happens (even though I live in Chicago, where earthquakes very rarely happen) - I duck and cover. But, the crows still poke at me. "Okay, Natsu, you win! This hurts, and I think these crows have torn off chunks of my flesh! Just get me out of here right now before I go beserk and choke a bitch!"

Next thing I know, I'm back in the simulation room.

"Wow," Natsu says. "Looks like we're not going to an aviary anytime soon."

"Why would a pirate want to do that?" I ask Natsu.

"I dunno. I bet fifty bucks that a future One Piece color spread will take place at an aviary," Natsu explains. "You're free to go, by the way. I'll see you when I'm done with this mental simulation crap."

"See you around," I say before I leave the room.

"So, how did it go?" Levy asks me.

"Okay. It was less intense than I thought," I say. "Say, I'm getting kind of hungry. Want to get something to eat?"

"Sure. What do you -" Levy asks me before she's cut off.

"Levy McGarden, it's time for your mental simulation!"

"Sorry, I have to go," Levy says before she leaves the room. With a sigh, I go into the kitchen/galley, where a bunch of pirates are huddled over a newspaper.

"Hey, Lucy, we thought you'd might like this, being that you used to watch an anime about the nations of the world," Gajeel says as he hands me the article everyone was reading.

Is Hetalia Losing its Internet War Against Homestuck?

Recently in Hetalia faction, there has been a disturbing trend. The recent transfers of Lucy Heartfilia and Gray Fullbuster, a.k.a., "A Busted Daytona Stripper" -according to his adoptive father, Jude Heartfilia -, is causing people to wonder why we have a faction that worships the countries of the world who have turned into gay guys. Juvia Loxar, a One Piece transferee, suggests something going on in her family. "She's grossed out by yaoi," Juvia says. "When she was little, her father read her a France x England doujinshi to bed, and it was all about France and England doing [Bleep] [Bleep] and [Bleep] [Bleep]. Then, they -"

Loke then takes the paper from my hands.

"Hey! I wasn't done reading it!" I cry.

"I'll finish for you, sweetie," Loke says before he begins reading the paper. "But, some people don't think it's a hate of yaoi. Others think that there is growing discontent against Hetalia faction for not solving the city's problems. Maybe it's time the Hetalia fans forefitted the internet war against the Homestuck fans."

I grab the paper from Loke and kick him very hard in the balls.

"Ow! What the hell was that for?!" Loke cries.

"For smack-talking my old faction!" I say before I turn to Juvia. Before I can punch her, Gajeel restrains me.

"Hey, hey, hey. She's supposed to be your nakama," Gajeel tells me.

"Hell no, she's not! She's like the Wolfgang to my Enlai or the Sanji to my Zoro! She's insulting MY father!" I yell.

"Just calm down, Lucy. I'm sure it was from a tabloid newspaper or something," Gajeel tells me. Levy and Alphonse then enter the room.

"Lucy, I'm going to go shopping! Want to come with?" Levy asks me. I smile.

"Sure. I need to take my mind off of things," I say. I decide not to think too much about this newspaper article for now, even though it'll become important later on. Right now, I need to get my snack on with Levy, Gajeel, and Alphonse. Some pretzel sticks dipped in cheese would be nice.

Ending Note: Review if you want to see the Capricorns!