Charlie was not sure how he knew where Harry would be, other then Bill he knew Harry the least, but he followed his instincts. He knew Harry, well his passion for flying, and for charms, and in a way the two of them were a lot alike. It was likely a mix of that, and the fact he had known so much about him from his brothers about him, and he found himself heading to a small den he had noticed, near the doors to the stables. He had noticed no one seemed to use it, there were so many rooms in the manor, and this one fell by the wayside. Harry could have come down unseen, passing only the kitchens, and no one would see him.
Harry was on the floor in the room, his back was against the wall, and he held a knife in his hands. He could not see any blood, but Harry had the knife to his flesh, and Charlie was worried what would have happened if he had not found Harry so soon.
He sunk down onto the floor next to Harry. "Merlin, no Harry."
Harry did not look up at him."Leave me."
It was the first time since he had faced Andre's parents for the first time, that Harry had spoken. Charlie could not even imagine the pain Harry was in, he had never really dated, or been in love, to know what the loss felt like. He knew it was worse for Harry, Harry had been saved by Andre, the reason his boyfriend was dead. Harry was holding the knife, but he could not seem to move, and Charlie wondered how long he had been like that.
He took Harry by the hand. "You can't do this Harry. There are too many people who love you. You can't leave them."
Harry tried to draw away from him. "I should have died last summer, with Hedwig. My Uncle should have killed me."
Charlie had known what happened to Harry, the entire family was shaken, and to know the abuse was old. Albus had long allowed Harry to be left in an abusive home, kept him away from his dad, and never cared about the abuse Harry had. Severus and Remus had arrived in time to save Harry from dying, the night that Harry was found to be a Snape, the day before his birthday. Just like Charlie worried now, they had worried too, if they had come a bit later.
Harry was shaken so bad, he was scared it would hurt, or he would find there was a hell worse than what he had here. He had sat here for an hour, and he had finally convinced himself to do it, and then Charlie had come in.
He refused to look up. "Leave me please. If I died this summer, he would still be alive. He should have not died, not for me."
Charlie made him look up. "Not if you will throw away his sacrifice, I agree. He died for you, so you could live, and you spit on that now."
He knew Harry was shocked by his words, and for a moment he regretted them, but he knew deep down he was right. Harry did not want to kill himself, he was simply lost so deep in his sorrow, he had sunk into shock, and needed shaken out of it. He knew he was not as gentle about it as the others would have been, but he thought Harry didn't need that, he needed someone who could reach through. He had not responded to the coddling, he would need it later, but not now.
Charlie put the knife in the right place. "If you are a coward, than do it right at least. You wouldn't want your dad to be able to save you."
Harry looked at the knife like he had never seen it before. "Why are you doing this?"
He wasn't doing this he reminded Harry, Harry was, he was the one who came in here to kill himself. If Harry was so selfish he would throw away the life Andre died to protect, and to hurt his dad and all those who loved him, Charlie would not stop it. Harry obviously had his mind made up about doing this, and he would not try and stop him, Harry was an adult. Charlie of course did not mean it, he was trying to shock Harry, Harry needed to drop the knife on his own.
Harry had tears running down his cheeks as he dropped the knife on the floor. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I just miss him so much. Why did he have to die?"
Charlie pushed away the knife and took Harry into his arms."I wish I knew Harry, but he loved you, and wanted you to live. You can't die on us, we need you."
He took Harry into his arms and held him, the first time Harry didn't draw away from physical contact, the way that he had from even his dad. Harry held to him, neither sure why Harry felt able to with him, except perhaps he felt no pressure as he barely knew Charlie. Harry cried himself to sleep in Charlie's arms, and he noticed for the first time, Harry's dad in the door. If Severus saw the knife when he came over, he said nothing, but to thank him, as he picked his son up.
Charlie shook his head. "You need to make him talk when he wakes up. He needs you and Remus so bad now."
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
In the morning Harry came around, confused to where he was when he did, the last place he recalled was the den. He did not see his own room when he looked, and was about to panic, when he saw both his dads asleep next to the bed, and he was in his dad's room. He shook when he remembered the den, how close he had come to slitting his own wrists, and how Charlie had stopped him before it was too late.
Harry`s dads were coming around, and he could see a mix of concern and relief in their faces, when they saw he was awake. He wondered if Charlie had told them about the knife or if they saw it, knowing how upset they would be with him.
Severus kissed his son."You scared us so bad last night. You know we will give you space, but you can't hide on us."
Harry spoke. "I'm sorry dad."
Neither mentioned the knife, Charlie not telling them, and while Severus had seen it, he made no issue of it. He knew as Charlie did, Harry had not meant to kill himself, he was simply so lost and drowning in pain, he had nearly made a large mistake.
Remus sat down. "Harry I know this hurts so badly, but your dad and I want to help. You know we will do it all, to make you heal."
Harry shook his head. "You need to send me away, I will kill you too.I kill everyone dumb enouh to love me. I won't lose you too."
Taking his son into his arms, Severus stopped Harry, he had killed no one, and they were not leaving him. His mom and James were killed by a mad man, Sirius and Andre both died for and not by the man they loved. They were sure, if given a choice to do it over; none of the four would not do it all over again for Harry. Harry was loved by them all, and none would regret dying for him, as none in the house would now.
Severus cut his son off when Harry said it was what he was scared of. "We are not leaving, you are stuck with us. You will never be rid of me."
Harry sobbed into his dad but Remus held him too. "It hurts so much, I feel like I can't breath."
Rocking his son, he told Harry it would take time, but he had so many people here to help. They would be returning to Hogwarts, Harry could not face France, but if and when Harry returned to a classroom, was up to him. He and Draco had their spots back, but would both live with Harry's dads.
Remus kissed Harry on the curls. "I am just happy you are talking again. Your Aunt Cissy would prefer broken china, to your calm all this time."