XIV

He knew things. He knew things most people hadn't. He had more knowledge stored in his mind than an encyclopedia. He had more knowledge than Albus Dumbledore. In a time of war, knowledge was useful. In war brute force would always be the strength of one side, and the other would have knowledge as its own. No one had known how much he knew, and he would only let a single man find out. He was sure of it. If anyone else grew privy to the secrets he held then the world would no longer know stability. In those times there was only rumbling, but if he fell into the wrong hands then the world would erupt in a massive earthquake, and slowly destroy itself, until it was nothing more than rocks in space. He was invaluable to the war. Luckily, no one had discovered it, yet.

Severus hid in a secret closet in the Slytherin common room. The closet was painted a soft, calming shade of gray. He lied against the wall, trying to concentrate. He pushed his memories to the front of his mind. Holding a vile to his left cheek, he had begun to cry. Memories were produced much more efficiently with tears, than with magic. Magic would slightly taint them. He was one of the few wizards who knew this, or rather discovered it on his own.

A stream of silvery water trickled down his cheek and into the vile. The tears came naturally at some points. He took the most important memories from his former life and sewed them together. It all had to make sense in the end. It wouldn't be worth it, if he hid anything. Slowly the vile had begun to fill. He stopped crying at the brim of it. Carefully, he sealed it, making sure not to spill a single vital drop of its contents. The memories were more precious than silver, more valuable than gold and as irreplaceable as life. If a drop were to spill he couldn't conjure the same memory once more, it would always be different in some way.

He slowly swirled the contents of the bottle, watching the many shades of silver collide with the clearness of his salty tears. He smirked as he watched the water, but quickly frowned as soon as he realized that what he was about to do could very well end with a travesty. What am I getting myself into? After all this time how could I just waltz into his office so willingly? I am no longer mentally stable…

He walked into the office, waiting for the Headmaster to appear. He was sure that he knew he was waiting for him, even if he was here unannounced. Dumbledore never had meetings planned. The only planning he had done was for the war. The rest was spontaneous, and most of it surprisingly ended in success.

"Severus, my boy, why are you here? No matter, come, sit down." The man was surprised to see him. He knew Severus would never enter his office willingly. As always the Headmaster walked over to his desk and motioned for Severus to come join him. Severus stepped closer to him, but remained standing. "Would you care for a lemon drop, or perhaps some tea?" He glared at him, his black eyes full of annoyance. "Very well. Now, why are you here? You aren't one to look for conversation."

He let out a deep breath. For once the headmaster hadn't started gossiping like an old woman. "What I'm about to tell you is extremely vital to the Order." Dumbledore's eyes widened at the statement, but he was sure that there was a catch. "You will not believe me straight away, partially because you have no faith in me, yet. But—"He swiftly took the vile out of his pocket it and showed it to the headmaster. "I believe this is all I need to show you."

Dumbledore stood up and faced the wall behind his desk. "How do you know about the Order?"

"It will all be answered in due time, Albus." He crossed his arms, waiting for just the right moment to say it. But first, he would take pleasure in aggravating the man. "I will, of course, need your Pensieve. But before that, I do suggest you sit down. Would you care for a lemon drop, or perhaps some tea?" He sneered, patronizing the man.

"I do not have time for this. There is a war going on outside." He stared out of the window. There was no visible war, but it was in the air around them, and in the words they said. The coldness of the war was in their skin, and it was terribly impossible to remove. "In times like these it's better not to waste time on certain things. Time is of the essence."

Snape smirked. "My point exactly. But Albus, if you dare insinuate that this is a waste of your time, I'm afraid you will be with a great loss."

"I would like for you to get to the point, Severus."

"It's great to hear those words from you, considering you never…get to the point. Very well. But Albus, I insist you do sit down. I do not want you fainting on the floor. I will not be the one to pick you up." He nodded and sat back down in his chair. "Do you fear for what I am about to tell you?"

"There is nothing to fear my boy. You should know that."

"How…Gryffindor of you, Headmaster." He sat down across from Albus. "I'm not exactly who you think I am."

He chuckled. "I am very sure you are Severus Snape. No one could Polyjuice into you and act in the same manner." He was pestered by the fact that he could joke in the middle of a very serious conversation.

"I died."

The two words stuck Albus hard. "But you are very much alive." His voice was light, almost breathy. He was taken aback by the statement.

"Do you believe in second chances? I'm sure you do Albus. The goodness of your manipulative heart couldn't bear not to."

The headmaster sighed. "My boy, you cannot simply die and live once more. There are only second chances in life, not in death. Do not try to trick an old man." Tom is fool if he thinks that this web of lies would trick me.

"Albus Percival Wulfric…Brian Dumbledore—a genius among wizards, a man who could believe in the impossible, and even make it possible—is in denial that you cannot come back to life after death. I never thought I would see the day where you would say something is impossible. Maybe…I should end this conversation here, and continue on another day-perhaps when your mind can fully grasp this."

"No. Continue on."

"No matter what I say, you must look at these memories one way or another. I am thirty eight years old, not seventeen. I was killed on May second in 1998, by none other than the Dark Lord. I was a double agent, and I died a double agent. I fought…for you. You will see the rest when you view the memories, if you choose to. Albus, you are a wise man. You wouldn't let an opportunity like this just…slip away."

"How am I to believe you Severus?"

"The Order of the Phoenix communicates through Patronesses. If memory serves me correctly, Moody, against all odds, had come up with the idea a month ago. Then again a war genius can strike other types of genius too. Albus do not waste your time. I want to put an end to this war. You must listen to me. I implore you to."

"How did you know?" The man's eyes were worried, and his eyebrows were raised in shock. He was infuriated by the fact that the boy was privy to the information. He looked the boy's left arm imagining the dark mark on his alabaster skin.

"Asking such a stupid question is surprising. I hadn't expected this of you. I have already told you. I am not from this time. I died once. I believe I am here to prevent the war from escalating to greater heights." And to pursue a relationship with Lily, hopefully, impossibly and lustfully. What am I thinking?

"Leave my office."

"But Albus—"

"You must leave now. If you are here on a mission from Voldemort I will have you expelled. This is your last chance, Severus. Leave now, or you will never see the grounds of Hogwarts again. And you shall refer to me as Headmaster. Thank you." He turned away in a daze, unable to face Severus any longer. He was infuriated by the boy's foolish notions. Severus wasn't one to make up fictional stories, but he was one to follow orders vigilantly.

"You trusted me last time. You should trust me again…Albus." He left the room, his Hogwarts jacket billowing behind him. The old man is an utter fool. Perhaps, he does not get wiser, until after I leave Hogwarts. My story isn't believable anyway. But the man would take a chance. He is a bloody Gryffindor! Who am I kidding? That man is a perfect balance of all houses. Sly—like a Slytherin, brave—like a Gryffindor, wise—like a Ravenclaw, and fair—like a Hufflepuff. But he is a coward as well.

On the morning of November twenty seventh Severus woke up to a startling memory.

A thirty seven year old Severus Snape stood next to Dumbledore. They were standing by the Pensieve. Anticipation had weld up inside of him, ready to burst, though he would never let himself. He starred at the shimmering water. It was glistening with a memory. "Severus," Dumbledore began, "Are you familiar with Horcruxes?"

He starred at the man for the moment, surprised that he would ever mention such a horrendous area of magic. "Yes, I am…familiar with them." The man starred at him, prodding him to continue. "They split the soul of the one who chooses to make one. The results are horrifying, unbelievable and otherworldly. It makes one immortal, unless it is destroyed, of course."

He smiled at Severus, his blue eyes sparkling with content. "Very good Severus, but I'm surprised you would learn about such dark things. It's truly evil magic Severus."

"The Dark Lord tells very few of his followers about the darker forms of magic. He mentioned them once in a bit of an odd conversation. But I would rather get back to the memory in the Pensieve. It is why you called me at this hour, isn't it?"

"Yes. Severus you see here today can never escape these walls. Do you understand? I trust you Severus; it is the only reason why I am letting you see this. You are a good man Severus." He nodded; surprised that he would say such things to him. "Shall we?" They dipped their heads into the Pensieve. Black smoke rushed through the silvery waters until an image appeared.

Tom Riddle stood before Slughorn, talking to him about his dark discovery. Severus listened to the conversation intently. Slughorn had answered the boy's question. It was the worst possible mistake anyone could have made. "The moron," he whispered under his breath. He shook his head in disproval. He continued on listening as Slughorn had continued to answer the boy's questions. At the end the last answer had shocked Severus.

He lifted his head out first, Dumbledore soon followed. "I must sit down." His legs grew weak. He couldn't find any suitable words. Completely taken aback by the memory he collapsed onto the beige colored chair. "Splitting up your soul into so many parts is far worse than drinking Unicorn blood." Finally the words had come to him in a large wave. "Seven—Seven Horcruxes—only he would do something such as this. It is insane."

"Yes." Dumbledore nodded at him. "Yes. I have had this theory for quite a while. I hoped it would not be true. Curse an old man for hoping. Severus, you do know what we must do now. There is no other way."

"Leave it to the boy. That is all we can ever do." He stood up and turned away from the Headmaster. "You may further explain this plan to me later." He exited the room. 'Impossible. This is all impossible. And, yet somehow it will be defied, like everything else in this damned world has been.'

It was the last encounter Severus and Dumbledore had, before Severus sent Dumbledore to his grave.

He smirked as a plan began to form in his head. If Dumbledore wouldn't see him, or listen to him for that matter, then he would get him to see reason. A devilish plan danced in his mind as he walked into the halls. He was sure this would work. It was his last hope.

"Professor?" He called as he entered the classroom.

"Severus, what are you doing here on a Sunday? I was sure you would have been in the library by now."

"Well, I had been." he leaned against the cream colored wall and crossed his arms as he watched Professor Slughorn. "I was in the restricted section, and something had caught my eye. The book contained…certain information, but not much of it. I was hoping you would…further expand my knowledge on the topic."

"I'm not sure if I will be able to. I'm not much of an encyclopedia." He chuckled.

"I want you to know that I came to you, because you would be the only person who would understand. The other Professors aren't like you." The professor only smiled. He hadn't had a sense of déjà vu. He appeared to be care free, and this worried Severus. "I was wondering if you knew anything about Horcruxes."

Slughorn's heart began to pound in his chest. "Severus, don't ask me that question ever again. Do you understand? It is forbidden."

"But sir, I was sure you would know something about…Horcruxes." He stepped forward closer to him, and then circled around him. His arms were behind his back, as he eyed the man carefully, watching him break down. "Professor, I know you are hiding something—something very important. Could you tell me about Horcruxes?" He watched a bead of sweat drop from the old man's brow. "Professor?"

"Snape, don't push me. I need you to leave now. Forget those things. They are not good."

"Oh, on the contrary, I think they are spectacular." It pushed Slughorn over the edge. He grabbed Snape's arm roughly and led him out of the room and into the halls. "Where are you taking me?" He asked, faking slight panic. He played his part well.

"I think Dumbledore will be able to answer all of your questions." Snape smirked, making sure Slughorn wouldn't see. As he was dragged across the halls Slughorn began panic. Riddle was the only person to ask him about Horcruxes, and now that Severus had just done that, it terrified him. I won't allow this to happen once more. A talented wizard such as Severus shouldn't end up as another 'he who must not be named'. I can't make the same mistake again.

Dumbledore sat in his chair, staring at the two. He was fed up with the trouble Severus had caused the past few days. "Professor, why have you brought Mr. Snape here today?"

"Albus, I can't make this mistake again. The boy is talking about Horcruxes. I need you to set him straight. I can't see another talent waste away again. Preform on exorcism on him if you must! I don't care what you do, but his mind can't be clouded by the dark any longer. I will not stand for this. He is such a good boy, a talented one, I can't let him fall."

"Very well, you may go." Slughorn reluctantly walked away. Once he disappeared Albus spoke once more. "Roll up your sleeve." Severus did just as he was told. "Tell me, how have you come across such information? The book was removed from the library many years ago."

He took the vial out of his pocket once more. "I only ask you to view my memories. Please Albus, if you don't I'm afraid that the world will be in grave danger. This is vital to the cause you are fighting for. It will answer all of your questions, and even some of the questions you have yet to form."

Giving up his efforts, he walked to the Pensieve. "Very well, you are persistent my boy."

Severus walked over to the large bowl filled with shimmering water. He uncapped the vial and spilled its contents. "What you are about to see is something to not be taken light heartedly. You will be a fool if you don't take this seriously. I do not take you as a fool Albus." There was no reaction. "Furthermore, I will view them with you, that way you will not be able to dive out too quickly. You must watch them till the end."

He only nodded, as he starred at Severus. What is this boy playing at? He's surely gotten some absurd thought inside of his head. He isn't a Death Eater. So what is he? I had such high hopes for him. Where did it all go? I might as well give him a chance. If what he says is true, then he is invaluable.

With everything in place they began to view the memories. A puff of black smoke coursed through the water. It disappeared as a dark scene unveiled. Much to Dumbledore's surprise, Severus had something so tangled in a web of mysteries that it was too good to be true. It was unbelievable. This was not a boy, but it was a man, standing before him.

"Severus, are you ready to take the mark?" the Dark Lord hissed.

"Yes, my lord."

"Do you devote your life to me?"

"Yes, my lord."

"Are you prepared to die at any given moment, if you betray me?"

"I shall never betray you my lord."

The snake-like human smiled. "Give me your arm Severus." Severus obliged. The dark wizard began, casting the spell which would forever mark the man. A searing pain went through Severus. He began to fall to his knees.

The scene changed quickly. Severus was in Hog's Head, listening intently to Sybil Trelawney. He hid behind a wall as he watched the woman erupt in a prophetical state. Her eyes appeared lifeless, and her mouth was wide open as if she were about to shriek. "The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches…Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies…" She wailed out the prophecy. The barman spotted Severus, and promptly threw him out of the bar.

In the next scene Severus reported the prophecy to the Dark Lord. Once more another stream of black smoke came rushing through the waters. It crashed down, revealing Severus kneeling before Voldemort. "There are two wizarding families who fit the requirements of the prophecy!" The Death Eaters cheered. "The Potters and the Longbottoms shall be punished. Their children shall not defy me!" The meeting went on. At the end Severus remained at the side of the Dark Lord.

"Severus, why are you staying? This is an occasion where you should be celebrating. Tell me, what is troubling you?" The Dark Lord's voice was filled with false concern.

"If it is not too much to ask…could you spare Lily Potter? She is not at fault."

"Severus, do you dare ask me of such a thing?"

"I am deeply sorry." He turned away.

"You are a faithful servant. I believe you do deserve a reward Severus. You are the one who brought me the prophecy. Very well, I shall spare the Mudblood."

"Thank you my lord."

"If she should stand in my way, you do know what I will do Severus." He only nodded. He was terrified, but he remained occluded. "Fancying the Mudblood…" Once again a puff of smoke consumed the scene.

The scenes continued on endlessly. The biography of Severus' life was like a tragedy. It was too unbelievable to be real, but too real to be fiction. Dumbledore had watched the boy's—no the man's life pass by. He pitied the man. He would never say it to Severus. His face had every emotion he felt, showing Severus how much he cared for him.

At the end Dumbledore watched Harry Potter holding Severus as he bled to death. He had never seen Severus cry before in this time. As Severus died Dumbledore felt every emotion Severus had felt. To his old body it was terrible, but nonetheless, tremendous. "Look at me," he heard the thirty eight year old Severus whisper. His head turned away after he stared into the boy's emerald eyes. His eyes closed as he died, content with the fact that in his dying moments he had finally done something right, and it was for the side of light, not dark.

Albus lifted his head out of the Pensieve. Severus was already waiting for him. The man's blue eyes were filled with tears. He felt something break inside of him. As he starred at Severus all he wanted to do was give the boy a better life, but it was impossible. "Severus…" He couldn't manage to say more. He walked over to his chair. He could no longer stand. He had felt sympathy for Severus. It was something he hadn't felt for anyone in a long time. "You have lived a hard life. I am sorry."

"I am here to change the course of time."

"You came here to me. After all this time, Severus?" It was impossible that he would come marching down so willingly to Dumbledore after he had lived his life a servant.

"Some things are too hard to avoid. Other things are too hard to let go. This is a combination of both. I fear that I have become an old dog. I cannot learn any new tricks."

"Severus, you know what you must do. There is no way of avoiding it. I truly regret this. You are the only one in these times who is experienced adequately enough."

"I will not go down that path again Albus. There must be another way. I did not come back here to do the wrong things once more."

"But this is not the wrong thing. It is hard to do what you think is right, but it is even harder to do what you know is right." He walked away from Dumbledore, knowing that what the man had said was true. "You must be a double agent once more Severus."

"I can't," he said as he walked down the stairs. His heart was telling him he couldn't, but his mind knew he had to. He couldn't do it because of Lily, but she was the very same reason why he had to. Love is for fools. Love was never meant for a man like me. And yet, why can't I just stay away from it?

"Very well, it is your choice Severus. I will not force you to do anything," he barely heard Dumbledore say as he reached the end of the steps. "The information you gave me will be used—" He could hear no more.

He had once again formed his hard shell. He tried to block out any feelings he had for Lily. If he fought in the war Lily would live this time. He only wanted her friendship and for her to live. He would tell himself over and over, until he could no longer force himself to believe it. He stood at the gargoyle. I love you Lily. I'm doing this for you. It's the only reason why I do any of this. I just hope that one day you will know that. I hope one day after you think I betrayed you that once more you will be able to forgive me. But what he would never admit to himself was that he hoped that she would leave everything behind, forget her happiness and find a new one with him. But he didn't deserve it. More so, she didn't deserve him, not when she had only hurt him, after he had devoted his life to her. Yet, that remained ignored by him.

A/N: Got bored of my usual Author's note? Well you know what to do with your questions.

I might not have a chapter up next Sunday due to a large pile of work that it stacked next to me.

On the bright side, there is none. Ha.

-E.S. Grey