XVIII

When Severus woke up, the brown owl was still in his room, waiting for him dutifully. It hooted several times when it noticed Severus' onyx eyes had opened. The owl flew unto Severus' abdomen and laid a pale green envelope on it. The envelope had familiar calligraphy-like handwriting scrawled across it; there was only his name in blank ink. He had desperately tried to avoid the owl to no avail. It was clear to him that until he had read the contents of the envelope, the owl would not leave.

Severus sat up, putting his back against the uncomfortable wall. The owl plopped itself unto his lap once more, growing rather fond of its new warm nest. Severus tried to get the owl off of him, but he was immediately bitten. "Such an odd bird," he huffed. Accidently, he stroked its feathers. The feathers were soft and clean; they were unlike what you would have thought of just by glancing in them. From that point on, the owl had not let Severus stop stroking its feathers. Indeed, it was an odd bird.

He took his wand out from under his pillow (he had grown used to the safety precaution over his decade plus of service). He opened the envelope with a simple cutting spell. Once he unfolded the pages of the letter, which looked like they were torn from a small journal he wrinkled his nose in frustration. The letter was several pages in length, filled with miniscule hand writing and closely spaced lines. All of a sudden it hit him: The hand writing was Rugulus'. He had not spoken much to Regulus since October 30th. He felt obligated to read it, because of the friendship that they had shared.

Severus,

I have many things to tell you in this letter. I apologize for its length. I must warn you though, the Owl (her name is Isadora), grows very attached to people. I fear that she will grow attached to someone and forever be theirs, instead of mine. She is a good owl, but she will pester you. I digress, before I have even begun.

First and foremost, there will be a meeting with the Dark Lord on January 8th. The reason I am telling you this is so that you have time to cancel any plans for that day. The meeting will promptly start at 10:00. Do not be late. You will not take the mark at that time, but I am sure you already know that. He must earn your trust first. This is my second time going to a meeting. His power is alluring, but you must not show your captivation, for it will pester him…eventually.

As for the other advice I can give you—do not lie. He is an extremely talented legilimens. If you are completely sure that you are willing to be of service, then come. But be warned, if you have any doubt do not come until you are ready for a meeting at a different time.

If you want to take the mark, you will have to be patient just as I am being. The wait will be worth it—I'm sure of it.

Severus frowned at the first page. It disgusted him.

You may be wondering why I am writing to you. Avery had asked me to inform you, because he is far too lazy to write to you himself. Though, I do not mind writing to you at all.

I am worried for you Severus. You've changed a lot. You tried to get me away from the Death Eaters, and now you want to become one yourself. I don't know what caused you to change your mind so suddenly. All I can to is trust your judgment. I am happy that we are in this together.

I am slightly confused by your actions as of late. You keep on drifting toward Lily. She is a nice woman, an extremely beautiful one at that too. She also has an intelligent mind, which I know you value… Merlin, the Muggle-born (I won't use the other word for your sake) is making me soft as well. Don't worry; I don't have feelings for her, though she is a bit of a catch, if you know what I mean…

I know you want less people to suspect you, but what does she have to do with it? Do you still plan on pursuing her? If you do, the Dark Lord will not be pleased. Maybe he will allow another exception, seeing that you already are one.

The second page give him a mixed feeling, though it was mostly melancholy.

I am worried for our friendship. I have not been a great friend to you recently. I am sorry. You are like a brother to me. I did not wish to drive you away. I overreacted. At one point I was seriously considering the words you had told me. They were driving me mad though. I could never quite put a finger on it as to why you wanted me to not join. Maybe it was a test for me… I may never know.

I wish to continue our friendship. As Sirius is not residing here currently, you may visit if you want to. (I hope you will.) Kreacher has been asking for you too. It gets lonely here sometimes. Any time over the break will be fine, even if it is unannounced. You are one of the few people that my parents tolerate.

Though we had the misfortunate event less than two months ago I think it is best if we just forget that it had ever happened. I still look up to you Severus. I always have. Despite your emotional behavior as of late, you are the strongest person I know. I don't want to lose our friendship over that one fight. I never intended for that to have happened.

Are you mad at me?

I hope you send a letter soon. Isadora flies with extreme speed. You may use her to reply throughout our conversation if need be.

He was debating with himself whether or not to actually go to Regulus' house.

Lastly, I wanted to tell you that I saw you and Lily one day in one of the abandoned halls. She was sleeping next to you. Did she have a fall out with the Potter brat? It is about time if they did. They've been having a lot of tension between them for quite some time.

Did it happen because of you?

You are probably mad at me for even mentioning it. It's a shame that I have a curious mind. I have seen her with you a lot more frequently… I wonder if anything is going on between you two. Ever since you had started Hogwarts, up until your fallout, you two seemed to be quite the couple. Funny how things seem aren't they? Ever since you two started talking again, Potter's been driven up a wall (if you haven't noticed).

I will be waiting for your reply.

-Regulus

Severus quickly stood up, causing the owl to fly out of his lap. He walked over to his desk, placing the letter to one side of it and grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill. He pushed the chair roughly. Sitting, he dipped the quill into the ink and started writing a quick reply in his own calligraphy-like hand writing.

Regulus,

There is much to say, but I cannot simply write it all on this piece of parchment. Do not worry, I will not kill you…yet, as for your owl, my patience is growing thin. I will come to your house. Does later today sound fine? I don't have anything planned.

(Severus had forgotten his agreement with Lily momentarily.)

Till then,

Severus

He tied the parchment up with brown twine and gave it to the owl. Isadora flew up to the ceiling after a few minutes of gazing at Severus. He opened the window, the panes opening at its bisection. A loud creaking escaped until there was a large enough space for the owl to fly through. She was finally gone.

Severus was greeted at the door of 12 Grimmauld Place by none other than Kreacher—the old house-elf whose head was covered in fine white hairs, but his eyes still alive with the hopefulness many house-elves held. He looked almost…elated to see Severus standing there. Severus was sure that he had never seen that expression on Kreacher's face—it was a bit startling too see him as such. "Master Sever!" he exclaimed happily. "It has been very long since you were here last—very long indeed!" Severus was the only non-pureblood to be accepted by Kreacher. It was a great feat.

He followed Kreacher through the house, seeing Mrs. Black sitting on a large, dark wooden chair with green cushioning. She had not made the effort to greet him. Mr. Black was nowhere to be found as Severus had carefully looked through as much of the house as he could. Once at Regulus' room, he opened the door which had its usual sign perched on it.

The door opened quickly. The room was painted a pale grey, but there was a green design painted on the ceiling meant to resemble snakes. There was a Slytherin banner by his desk and a few other representations of his house as well. On the wall above his bed were magazine clippings—all pertaining to Voldemort. The sight of them sent a chill down Severus' spine. The thought of Regulus worshiping Voldemort made Severus' stomach flip. Sitting on the large Slytherin themed bed was Regulus, who was reading a small novella.

"Mr. Snape is here," announced Kreacher before leaving the two in the room.

"Sit down." Regulus motioned to the chair by the desk. "I suppose we have a lot to talk about. Go ahead; take your pick on what's troubling you the most."

"I would prefer it if you would set your book down first." He folded the page before setting it next to him. "Good, now why did Avery not inform me? Why had he chosen you instead? There are many words hidden by what you said in that letter you send me." Both could tell that this was not going to be a very pleasant visit.

"You can see right through me, even if you have to see through paper first." Severus felt a bit cocky, and crossed his arms while smirking in satisfaction. "I'd rather be the one to tell you news; though I am not the most experienced, I will be the last person in this world who would ever intent to hurt you Severus. I would rather do their bidding, send you information and make sure you come to the meetings so you wouldn't have to have crucio cast upon you."

Care—it wasn't something he was accustomed to. He had forgotten long ago what it was like to be cared for. "Thank you," he muttered, unsure whether he needed to say more or not. He was still getting used to being coddled by certain people. He wasn't always appreciating of it either.

"About Lily…" Regulus began to tap his fingers against the bed's base, knowing this was a harder topic to talk about. "When I saw you two on the floor sleeping against each other, it was odd to say in the least. I hadn't expected something like that to happen. Did you…you know—shag her?"

Severus started to shake his head, annoyed, yet amused by the teenage boy's mind, which was wired to an inappropriate mindset. "No." He nearly shouted it. "I did no such thing. Your expectations of me are disappointing."

"Oh thank Merlin," he let out a sigh of relief. "Now that you are planning to join the ranks, it isn't the best idea to hang out with her. Rumors will spread."

"I am not of pure blood, so why should this matter to you? Whom I care for and whom I do not should be privy to only me. My…happenings with such people should be mine to share, if I choose to, which I will never. However, if you let your curious teenage mind interfere with your usual thoughts, then I will say this: I do not know what will happen between Lily and I, so I cannot specify any details to you. One day you will know and so will I. Until then, you will have to set those thoughts aside." It had occurred to Severus that he talked like his older self, rather than his younger self. It struck him as odd that people hadn't noticed, or that they had, but decided not to comment on the change.

"Why did you change your mind Severus?"

He knew the question would have come that day, or a later one. "Power—we all seek it do we not? I want to reap the benefits of being associated with a man who has power and a man who can give me just that. It is what I desire and what I need most. Power is strength, and without strength I have no control. Without control, I am nothing. I want to amount to something. You know what I am talking about; these are all the same things you want." He spoke the words darkly, as if he were accessing the desires of his young, foolish mind which had died long ago. Yet he spoke with an undetectable regret. Power was knowledge, and nothing more, not brute force or the measure of physical strength. "You cannot deny the utter captivation of it." He finished his small speech strongly, knowing that the final blow was what would make Regulus believe him for the time being.

Regulus nodded his head. His eyes were full of desire—desire for power and so much more—more than Severus had even said. "You know exactly how I feel then—how we all feel." Severus smirked wickedly. "Good." Regulus was satisfied with Severus' answer. His answer had only made him even more power hungry. He only wanted a fraction of the power Voldemort had, and would do anything for it.

"I am sorry, but I must cut our visit short." The ending came suddenly. He felt unable to be contained in the room for any longer. He did not know how he would be able to stand the presence of Voldemort if he couldn't hold his grip in Regulus' shrine of a room. "I apologize," he said before finally darting out of the room with such speed and silence that the rest of the house's inhabitants hadn't noticed his departure.

Outside of the home he caught sight of the trait black, curly hair of the Black family. He saw the boyish man step off his broom and stop in front of his previous residence with apprehension. In all truth, Severus hadn't expected to see Sirius that day. "Snivellus!" There was no doubting now that it was Sirius.

"To answer your first question: Yes, I have thoroughly greased your previous residence. Do not fear I had not gotten to your room." Sirius stood in awe at Snape. He was not sure how to react to Severus. "Oh quit slobbering like the mutt you are. The soil on this Earth does not deserve your slobber."

He closed his mouth. "What are you getting at Snivellus?" He put his broom on the ground and walked over to him, his wand in hand, ready to hex him if need be. "Do you finally plan on joining the Death Eaters? Is that why you've been hanging out with my worthless brother?" Sirius sounded as broken as he had felt.

Severus was reminded of one of his goals. A solution to it had dawned upon him. "Black we have to talk. If it makes you feel any better, I will sit far enough away from you so I won't get your skin greasy…" He would say anything it would take to get the impertinent man to listen.

He held his wand steady. "No hexes?"

"None at all—if it serves as a consolation, you may have your wand at my neck throughout our conversation if that would make you feel safe. I have no intentions of doing anything to you…today." He would get a life's worth of revenge later.

"Follow me." Sirius led the way to a muggle dinner. The dinner was scarcely filled. Two old men sat in a booth, playing chess while eating their daily porridge. A waitress stood there, pouring black coffee into the cups. Unannounced, they sat in a booth on the other side of the diner, in hopes of avoiding the waitress for as long as possible. "Can't use magic here," Sirius finally said when they had sat down.

Surprise, surprise—the idiot finally uses his brains for once. Who would have thought? "We have to talk about your brother. I'm worried about him."

"You—feelings? That's impossible." Black snorted and then began to chuckle quietly.

"It's about his becoming a Death Eater." Snape whispered. "You cannot let that happen. No matter what I do, you have to keep him away from it. He's a good person. He is only confused. He does not belong with them."

"You think I don't know that! Merlin's left ball—he's my brother!" His odd vulgarity was the only way he could convey his feelings. "I would try to stop him if I could…"

"Trying is not doing."

"Then how do you suppose I go about things? The all-knowing greasy git must have an answer!"

"As a matter of fact, he does." Severus began to toy with a light blue packet of sugar. "You have to tell him what he is doing is wrong. Be a big brother to him. It's what he needs. Have you been so blind Black? All he wants is for you to be there for him. He wants your support and your approval."

"He's wrong if he thinks I'm going to teach him how to get the ladies."

Severus rolled his eyes and then starred at Black intensely, his black eyes cold. "You misunderstood. All you need to do is be there for him. I don't care if you give him a slew of floozies. However, I care if he goes down the wrong path. He doesn't need to go down that way. If he does, it will not turn out to be good."

"And if you go down the path you're keeping him from then what?"

"This is regardless what I do. Whatever I do shouldn't matter to you. What should matter to you is what your brother does. Stop putting your focus on the Slytherin population and focus on the one Slytherin that is your brother. You will regret it if you don't!"

"Fine, I'll do it."

Later the waitress had come and given them each a cup of tea. Snape sipped his tea in satisfaction. The conversations he had, had tired him to the bone. "I know Lily and Potter split."

Snape nearly spit out his tea.

"Do all the Blacks know?"

Sirius laughed. "I know you fancy her. I know you two are friends now, and I am not happy about it. But if you hurt her I swear I will hex you until you are barely breathing."

"I never intend on hurting her again."

A mutual respect had been formed between the two. They were both very different people who were not fond of one another, but when things came down to what was most important they had to set it aside.

Severus had gotten quite a few things done that day. It was a waiting game for that part of his plan now, and he would wait for the right moment to take action once more. He knew what pit falls there could be, and what successes there could be as well. He had it planned out in every possible situation he could think of. He could not allow room for mistakes. And now, with Black on his side for the time being, it had made his mission easier.

A/N: I am writing another FanFiction called Mourning Colour. If you like this, then I suggest for you to check it out.

I have to inform you of something rather…tragic. I have lost my flash drive. It had all the chapters, up until chapter 25 on it. I found most of the chapters in emails I have sent to my most trusted reader. However, the updates may be skipped sometimes, because I have to rewrite and then write new chapters. I apologize for my incompetence.

-E.S. Grey