Chapter Thirty-Two
"It's the Doctor's spaceship," Jackie told Gwen.
As she stared open-mouthed around her, Gwen took a few tentative steps into the incredible… room? The word didn't seem to fit. It was so much more than that; it almost looked like a cavern—an enormous, spooky, alien cavern—hidden in the trunk of a tree.
"It's his new TARDIS," Tony said from the other side of the room. He was sitting on the floor, surrounded by small toy cars. He seemed completely unfazed by his surroundings. "It used to be a blue box but now it's a tree."
"I don't believe it," Gwen said again. "Rose told me about this, but I thought I misunderstood her or she was kidding me or something. I mean, how could something be bigger on the inside?" She gritted her teeth and rubbed her belly again.
"Are you alright?" Jackie asked, a concerned tone to her voice.
"Yeah." She nodded and then winced again. "I ran part of the way up here, and now the baby's trying to do Tae Kwan Do in protest. Is there anywhere I can sit down?"
Jackie looked around. "I didn't see anything… Oh!"
"What…" Gwen turned to look where Jackie was looking. In the corner of the room were two large overstuffed chairs and ottomans. Brow furrowed, she turned back to Jackie. "I don't remember seeing them when I came in."
Jackie shook her head. "They weren't there before."
Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, Gwen sank into one of the chairs and put her feet up and Jackie sat in the chair next to her.
"How…" Gwen began.
"The Doctor is magic," Tony piped up from where he was playing. "Just like Harry Potter."
"Oh, I see," Gwen answered, not entirely sure she disbelieved him. She certainly had no explanation for her surroundings, or for the chairs that had suddenly seemed to appear out of thin air. Magic was as good an explanation as any. But one other thing puzzled her. She turned back to Jackie and said in a low voice, "Who's Harry Potter?"
~oOo~
"What do you mean, there's no Harry Potter in this universe?" the Doctor said incredulously.
While he spoke, the Doctor was staring at the entrance to Torchwood Four through a pair of opera glasses he had pulled from one of the pockets of his leather jacket. It was one of the many things he had brought with him from the original TARDIS in the pockets of his blue suit. When he had changed into his current outfit, he had shoved as many things as possible in the not-bigger-on-the-inside pockets of the jacket, certain he might need them.
While he was watching the entrance, they had been discussing the perception filters in preparation to trying to enter Torchwood Four, and Ianto had asked about Jackie's description of invisibility cloaks.
"There's no Harry Potter," Rose confirmed. "I wanted to read the first story to Tony, and I couldn't find it so I ended up trying to tell him the story from memory. Plus I wanted to finish reading the series myself cos somebody who had read the whole set wanted me to wait until they were all out in my time for some unknown reason, even though he had a time machine." She glared at him, and he looked sheepish.
"I thought it would add more excitement to your reading of the books if you had to wait," he explained, sounding apologetic. "Anticipation is half the pleasure of something."
She shook her head. "Sad. This is coming from the man who can't even wait to get out of the store before he opens a package of Jaffa Cakes. Anyway, I looked all over. After spending a solid week looking for JK Rowling in this universe, I eventually found her. She was working as an accountant for Tesco's."
The Doctor shuddered. "What a waste. Not that we don't need accountants for… something or other, but she is a literary genius. Absolutely brilliant. Her Harry Potter books are considered classics well into the 58th century, and her next series was even better. In fact when I met her, it was just before… Oh." He grimaced.
"Oh?" Rose asked, eyebrows raised.
"Weell," he said, drawing out the word so long that it could have been its own sentence, "I may have encouraged her a bit in her writing when I met her. And now that I think about it, my companions and I may have given her some ideas for some of the characters."
"Really," Rose said, turning to stare at him. "And what characters would those have been?"
"Well, Hermione seems almost like an amalgam of two of my friends, Tegan and Nyssa. Nyssa was incredibly brilliant, and Tegan… She was an absolute force of nature: brave, opinionated, but with a good heart. And the description of Ron, in looks rather than personality, fits Turlough to a T." He paused thoughtfully. "When we're done sorting this, we'll definitely have to go look up ol' JK, give her a bit of inspiration. A universe without Harry Potter scarcely bears thinking about."
Rose's mouth twitched. "So if you and your companions inspired some of the characters, who were you? Let me guess. Wild brown hair, glasses, an inability to follow the rules…"
"Harry? Don't I wish. Actually, I think I may have inspired Dumbledore."
Rose snorted. "Not a chance."
The Doctor shot her a look. "What, you don't think I could be wise and enigmatic?"
"Wise? Maybe occasionally." She sounded doubtful. "But enigmatic? You can't keep your mouth shut more than two minutes at a time, and that's only because you're asleep or something."
"I do have a bit of a gob this time 'round," he agreed. He sounded proud of it. "But you didn't know me back then. Definitely enigmatic. Bit of a stick-in-the-mud, though. But you would have liked him. Bit of a pretty boy: blond, blue-eyed, not as handsome as I am now of course…"
The minivan was parked in the car park of a restaurant across from Torchwood's main gate, close enough to see the small building that held the guards but not close enough to have the car get caught on Torchwood's CCTV.
"This would have been so much easier if we had the TARDIS," the Doctor said, still watching the entrance with the opera glasses. "If we had the TARDIS up and running, we could have materialized right in the building and wouldn't have to go through all of this."
"Yeah," Rose agreed. "That's assuming, of course, that we arrived in the right century." He shot her a look, and she grinned cheekily at him. He gave her a small, crooked grin before turning back.
"Can you see who has guard duty tonight?" Rose asked.
"Whoever it is is facing the wrong way," he told her. "Come on, come on, turn just a tiny bit more, just a little more… Damn."
"What is it?"
"The guard at the entrance is Filbin."
"What? George?" Rose grabbed the glasses out of his hands and peered through them at the gate. She exhaled loudly in frustration. "Yeah, it's him."
"What's the problem, Rose?" Toshiko asked from the backseat.
"The guard at the gate, it's someone we know," she told her. "Can't use fake IDs or psychic paper with someone we know. And we can't walk in wearing the perception filters; he has to open the gate so he actually has to see one of us. And he knows the Doctor and me, and Ianto and Owen were just here a few weeks ago."
"What if I drive in?" Toshiko suggested. "He won't recognize me; I've only been here once, and it was years ago."
The Doctor and Rose glanced at each other and shrugged.
"Sounds good to me," Rose said.
After a brief instruction to Toshiko on how to use the psychic paper, and an uncomfortable shift in the seating arrangement of the van without getting out, Tosh drove up to the gate.
George Filbin, a tall, thin man with curly, blond hair and light blue eyes, stepped up to the car. He wore khaki trousers and a white shirt with the logo of the Burpee's baby formula company embroidered on it. A radio mike was attached to his collar and the corresponding earpiece was in his left ear.
Toshiko lowered her window to speak to him.
"I'm sorry, ma'am, this is private property," he told her. Toshiko raised one eyebrow.
"I have an appointment with the Director," she stated in a supercilious tone.
He spoke into his mike and paused as he listened to the voice in his earpiece.
"We have no records of an appointment, and the Director isn't here," he said.
"Perhaps this will clarify things," Tosh replied and handed over the wallet holding the psychic paper.
His eyes widened as he looked at it. He snapped to attention.
"Ma'am," he said nervously. "I'm sorry. We weren't notified you were coming." He again spoke into his mike, and the gate opened.
As Toshiko pulled through the opening, she handed the psychic paper back to the Doctor. He glanced at it and his mouth twisted into a small grin before handing it back to her.
"What's it say?" she asked curiously.
"Evidently you're the new Secretary of Defense, and you are on a top-secret inspection tour to determine how well Torchwood is being integrated into UNIT."
Toshiko chuckled. "Works for me."
~oOo~
After a long discussion on the way to London, it had been decided that the Doctor, with Ianto's help, would try to restore Lisa Hallett's memories, while Rose, Toshiko and Owen would search Pete's office in the hopes of finding a clue about what Keeling's ultimate plans were as well as where Pete and Martha were being held.
But first they had to get into the building.
Presumably the security at the gate would notify the guard at the entrance to expect Toshiko, and they had all decided that it would look suspicious if she didn't have an assistant with her. Owen had been chosen, over his vehement objections, because after Toshiko, he had spent the least amount of time in Torchwood Four, and also because he had nothing better to do.
The minivan was parked close to the building, in that part of the car park reserved for dignitaries and high-level government officials. As Torchwood was now a semi-secret branch of government, this area of the car park was rarely, if ever, used and there were no other cars near them. What was even better was that there were very few security cameras in the area and that they had been able to park in one of the few spots in the car park which was a dead zone for CCTV.
The Doctor had his opera glasses out again. From their location, he had a clear view into the lobby.
"Only one guard at the entrance," he said. "But the way is blocked by metal detectors that look like they were designed to detect more than just metal." He paused as he stared at them. "Maybe some sort of bio-scanning technology. I could take that out with the sonic screwdriver." He handed the glasses to Rose.
"The psychic paper will get us through most of the interior security doors," Rose said, now peering through them herself. "But what about the CCTV? Torchwood is loaded with it. Will the perception filters get us past that?"
"Yes," he said firmly, and then immediately corrected himself with a slight grimace. "Well, the CCTV will pick us up. The perception filters can't fool cameras into thinking we aren't there. However, they should trick anyone monitoring the CCTV into not noticing us."
"Should, or will?"
"Should," he admitted. "Since the TARDIS is so new and since I didn't have the typical materials I usually use for making perception filters, their effectiveness is a bit… unpredictable, let's say."
"So to be safe, we have to assume that they won't work with CCTV. So our first priority will be to knock that out, then get the two of you," and by that she meant the Doctor and Ianto, "to the Infirmary lock-up, and then the three of us over to Dad's office. Agreed?"
Owen opened his mouth to protest, and Rose ignored him.
"Good. Let's go."
The first part went without incident. After exiting the van, the Doctor immediately pointed his sonic at one of the CCTV pointed at the approach to the door. The light indicating it was on went out.
"You know on second thought," he whispered in Rose's ear, "we probably shouldn't take them all out. Might make them suspicious."
"What do you suggest?" she whispered back.
Instead of answering, he demonstrated. He pointed his sonic at the other camera and it slowly changed direction, turning to point down the pavement along the front of the building rather than directly at the door as it had been.
"That works," she said with a grin for him.
With his sonic, he turned the other camera back on and moved it to point in the opposite direction.
"Easy peasy, lemon squeezy," he said and then wrinkled his nose in distaste. "Remind me not to say that again."
Rose unsuccessfully tried to stifle a snort.
With the CCTV turned the other direction, the Doctor, Rose and Ianto, all still wearing perception filters, followed Toshiko and Owen into the building.
The room was empty save for the guard manning the entrance. He looked barely out of his teens, and he nervously jumped to his feet when he saw Toshiko and Owen enter. As they crossed over to him, the others remained at the door, hoping they would go unnoticed by people monitoring the CCTV in the building.
The Doctor tapped Rose on the shoulder and then pointed to the CCTV in the room. There were six cameras. Three pointed to areas where they didn't need to go, but one was pointed at the metal detectors, one at the security guard's desk, and the last was pointed at the door and therefore directly at them. Those three, as well as the metal detectors themselves, would need to be taken out.
"Identification please," the guard asked nervously, and Tosh handed him the psychic paper. While he scanned the contents of the Doctor's wallet into an E-Reader, the Doctor himself pointed his screwdriver at the CCTV pointed at the door. The whirring of the sonic seemed overly loud in the silent room, and the Doctor winced.
"Did you hear that?" the guard asked, looking around the room wide-eyed for the source of the unfamiliar sound.
Toshiko and Owen glanced at each other and then over at the door. They knew the Doctor was there, but they couldn't quite make him out.
"Hear what?" Tosh asked.
"That whirring sound," he said.
"Oh, that. That's just my mobile," Owen told him. He reached into his pocket and pulled it out. "It's a piece of crap. That's supposed to be my silent mode."
He stared at the tiny screen for a moment, pretending to read a text, then shoved it back into his pocket.
Relieved that Owen had been so quick-thinking, the Doctor pointed the sonic over at one of the other cameras, and Owen pulled his mobile out of his pocket again. They repeated the performance two more times before the Doctor had managed to either misdirect or turn off the cameras and the metal detector.
"You really need a new phone," the guard said to Owen as they finished the screening process.
"Yeah, I know," he replied. "I'll have to ask my boss for a new one. An upgrade, considering all the crap I have to deal with in this job." Toshiko, his supposed boss, glared at him, but he was looking in the general direction of Rose.
After leaving the lobby, with the help of the psychic paper and the sonic screwdriver, they made their way to the Infirmary without incident. Once the CCTV in the hall outside the Medical Department was turned off, they removed their perception filters and Toshiko sighed in relief.
"It's so nice to actually see you clearly," she said softly. "It was giving me a headache to try and concentrate enough to see you while you had those on."
"Now, have we figured out how to get past the guard in the Infirmary yet?" Rose whispered. "We could walk past him, but there's no way around the fact we need to open and close doors."
As she spoke, the Doctor began to stare at the ceiling and CCTV speculatively.
"I have an idea," he replied quietly, "but it all depends on where the junction box is for the CCTV and these lights and how they're wired. Are they in the same location, or are they separate?"
"If I remember right, there's a utility cupboard two corridors over from here."
"There's probably a junction box in there, if not a set of circuit breakers." He thought for a moment. "Rose, I need you to get over there and knock out both the power and the CCTV to this entire wing for a few minutes."
Rose nodded. "Ianto, text me when it's time to turn them back on."
The Doctor pulled his sonic screwdriver out of the inside pocket of his jacket and handed it to her. "Now once you've turned the power back on—just the power, not the CCTV—get straight back here. You shouldn't have any problem if it's circuit breakers, but you'll need the sonic if it's just a junction box, and you'll need the sonic to get into the cupboard anyway. Setting 57-A for the lock, setting 246-B on the junction box for two seconds. Any more than that and you'll melt the circuits. If you do that, not only will they be onto us when they find it, but you won't be able to get the power back on. And we'll all need to put on our perception filters, just in case," he added, speaking to them all.
They all pulled on their perception filters, and Rose headed down the hall. A minute later the overhead lights went out, plunging them into darkness. The Doctor waited for one and a half minutes and then kicked the wall, hard, sounding like he had accidentally run into it. He swore loudly.
"Who's there?" yelled a young woman from inside the Infirmary.
"George," the Doctor yelled in a perfect mimicry of the guard's voice. "George Filbin. Who's that?"
"Sue Meyer," she answered.
"Good," he said. "Was lookin' for you. They want you back at the main office."
"But I'm guarding the prisoner."
" 'M supposed to take over for you."
They heard a loud crash, and then she let off a string of expletives.
"What was that?" the Doctor asked, still using George Filbin's voice.
"Knocked over a piece of equipment," she answered, her voice getting nearer. They heard her open the door. "Glass all over. I'd say watch your step, but it's pitch black in there. Not any better out here, is it?"
"Nope," he replied.
"You sure they want me back at the office?" she asked.
"That's what they said."
"Do you know why?"
"I think they want you to help with getting the CCTV back up and runnin'."
"I don't know anything about that," she protested. She paused for a moment. "I suppose with all the firings we're so short staffed there's no one else."
"You'd better take the stairs," he said, "just in case the lifts go out as well."
"That'll take forever," she complained. "The office is three floors down, as well as on the other side of the building." She groaned loudly. "Well, I guess there's no putting it off."
They all heard her move off. After a moment they heard her bang into the wall and curse.
"Bloody idiot doesn't know what he's doing," they heard her mutter. "Keeling couldn't find his arse with both hands and a map."
A door to the stairwell opened and closed. Once in the Infirmary, they all let out a sigh of relief and removed their perception filters. Ianto texted Rose and the lights came back on.
"Now let me get this straight," Owen was saying to the Doctor when Rose joined them. "You can do a near perfect imitation of the guard at the gate, but you can't manage to do a halfway decent American accent?"
"Oi, watch it, autopsy boy," the Doctor said sharply. "I'd like to see you do better."
Owen blinked, Ianto snickered, Toshiko raised her eyebrows, and Rose tried not to laugh.
"Y'know, I've been called a lot of things in my time," Owen said, "but that's a new one."
"C'mon, Owen," Rose said. "Let's leave them to do what they need to do."