XXVI

There were bright lights when he woke up, but what worried him was the greenish haze that took over wherever he was. He felt a sense of failure first, then desperation, lastly came hopelessness and sorrow, for he came back in time, only to die once more, but earlier than before. It was strange to him that there were whispers when he awoke, but he could not make sense of what they were saying.

"He's awake," he finally heard. Or was it the voice in his head, telling him things he wanted to hear? He felt empty inside…like a part of his heart had been torn away and stomped on a muddy, coal black ground. So was he really dead or alive?

It occurred to him that there was still a beating in his chest, that he felt the warmth of his surroundings, that he could still breathe a breath so familiar to him and that he could somehow smell the light scent of lemon drops, but more so the pungent aroma of Honeydukes' candy in the air. He then understood that he was alive, and he had never been more thankful for life than at that moment. He had not mucked up, or at least, not yet.

Dumbledore sat next to him in a mahogany rocking chair. He was knitting what looked like a pair of socks, a black and white rainbow in color. He put down the socks he was knitting to look up at Severus. "Severus, can you hear me?" Dumbledore did not seem surprised that Severus had awoken, but more shockingly, his voice was void of happiness—he was uncharacteristically acting. It irked Severus.

"Unfortunately, yes, but I cannot see very well."

"Do not fear; your sight will come back soon. You've been here for the past few days. Your teachers have been told that you are out of school for family matters. You are in one of my private rooms in the castle. No one will be here to disturb you."

"I fear that I have already been disturbed, Headmaster." He saw the room had become less hazy as time progressed. "Am I truly alive?" he asked, still in disbelief that something had gone better than he could have hoped.

"Yes, you are indeed alive. I assume that you have some snide comment."

"If "I have never been more thankful in my life" is a snide comment, then I will be vastly disappointed by today's society." He shifted in the bed, his left side, particularly his ribcage, was burning with pain.

"I apologize for my lack of success to persuade the Auror Department to take control of the raid in Shillings. They did not believe me when I had provided them with the information. It was rather late in the night. They chose to be ignorant."

"I do not care about that." He did care slightly though, for one of his questions had been answered. "We have more important things to worry about, Albus. There is the matter of the Horcruxes. I need evidence and possibly the shoddiest, seemingly misleading and even near worthless leads to where one of them could possibly lie. I have lived my previous life serving two maniacs. I know their tendencies well enough, or I at least hope that I know some of the Dark Lord's."

"You take me as a maniac Severus?"

"We all are maniacs in our own ways. In this world there are no sane people. People are enamored with one thing or another to a point where it should be considered unhealthy." He felt delirium swoop over him for a mere minute and then the room began to become clearer, more vivid than he had ever seen anything before.

"Albus, I need you to voice your suspicions soon. I would rather defeat him sooner than later. You are aware of what could happen. Because things are different now doesn't mean that it won't happen later, or even with a different set of people."

"You should rest before we do anything Severus."

"The Dark Lord isn't resting now nor will he ever." He felt a sense of oncoming déjà vu, but brushed it off quickly. "I need you to access whatever you have. You taught him for seven years, surely you much have something."

"I will see what I have," he said with a faint glimmer in his eye as he recalled where he might be keeping such things…

There were moments where Severus felt alone, and he was not sure whether he was or not. It scarred him half to death, but by looking at his face you could almost think that he was sleeping peacefully in his upright position, his eyes nearly closed and his mouth slightly agape as he silently breathed. He reached out, but felt nothing. He wanted to get up, but he had no idea of where he was and why Dumbledore had seemingly disappeared.

A reassuring voice came, "Ms. Evans was obliviated after the…shocking incident. We believed it would be best if she did not remember what happened." He did not reply; he did not know what to think, much less say.

When his vision returned he was in shock at where he was. He was on what seemed like a queen sized bed, its sheets deep burgundy with bronze trimmings. The walls were decorated with archaically styled wallpaper, baroquely embedded on them were flecks of sparkling dust from various gems, causing a sort of green sheen to erupt every now and again. There was a train on the walls of the circular room whizzing silently in the air, puffing smoke every minute or so. The floor was rich cocoa colored parquet. Severus smirked and nearly laughed when he saw the large bowl with an assortment of candies on a rectangular coffee table. He truly laughed when he saw another table with a pot of tea, tea cups beside it and minute, finger sized cakes filled with sweet blackberries, some with vanilla custard and others with lemon. This was the perfect room for the headmaster. A childish room lavishly ornamented for the old codger—very much like Albus to create for himself.

"What's so amusing Severus. I must say, I have not seen you in such a mood in the entire time I have known you. I do not know if I should be worried."

He laughed a bit harder for a second. It was unnatural, but it felt astounding to feel it bursting out of him. "I thought you would be the one to be overjoyed when the day came where I would laugh in front of you, Albus." The Headmaster looked at him bewilderingly. "My sight had returned only for me to see such a room as this. I find it—all of this amusing. I had never expected something quite like this, though it fits you rather well." The old man smiled in return, his half-moon spectacles earning a glare as he did so.

A door opened with such a slight creak that only Severus could have heard it. His eyes darted to the left corner in which stood a girl holding a grimy stuffed bear, a look of both terror and love on her face as she reluctantly took a step forward. He half thought that the girl had been an apparition when he had saved her from the brink of death. His eyes widened when she started walking toward him. She climbed onto the bed with him and sat there, observing him, completely in awe, as if her child's mind was about to explode from the utter enormity that he was to her. Tears slowly began to pool in her eyes as she smiled widely at him, her lips slightly quavering. She stretched her thin arms around him.

"Daddy," she whispered. "I missed you." His arms shook as he went to hold her on an impulse. "You 'member me Daddy, don't you? I'm your little Emma, 'member?"

He looked at the child in his arms and then to Dumbledore. Was he really out only the few days that he had told him he was? There were so many questions, but before he could think of any he saw that the room began to spin and he felt as if he were flying higher and higher, until finally he crashed to the ground.

She started to sob silently before she wrapped herself around him, latching herself to his torso, unwilling to ever let go of him. "Mummy said that you were gone, but you're 'ere now. I love you daddy." She fell asleep quickly in his arms: He set her on the bed next to him as he got up, pain shooting from his torso.

"She is shocked from the attack. She is trying to replace the empty feeling she has inside with you, or more likely, you greatly resemble your father, who could very well have died when she was younger," intoned Dumbledore, who was relaxing on his rocking chair.

"What do you suppose I do with this child? I have nowhere to put it, but the small garbage can that I am entitled to in my own home!" He paused to look at her as she slept soundlessly, sucking her thumb, though she was a bit old for it. He put his fingers in his hair, running them over her hair over and over again. "I would only ruin her."

"Posh. You've managed to take care of thousands of students previously, haven't you? This will all blow over soon enough."

"And what if it doesn't? Tell me. You are the one with all the answers, aren't you?" He began to circle the room maddeningly. "I can't deal with this. It's all too much." His face was reddening, his hands thrusted into his hair and fine lines forming on his forehead. He was livid.

"Soon enough she would be able to go to Hogwarts and you would be rid of her."

Severus sat down, taking in deep breaths. "That is six years away. I may not be alive by that time, and you are focusing on this mere child. Albus where are your priorities? Have you finally gone senile?"

"You know my answer. My priorities lie in love and love only. Love conquers all."

"Keep her here. I will…play my part with her. When she regains her actual memory and finds something to replace me, then I will let her go. I do not promise to love her, much less take care of her. But she will live. By live, I mean in this castle and not a distraction to me and my goals."

Severus stood up and carefully pushed the girl closer to the middle of the bed, where he once lied. He noticed that he was wearing his school robes over what seemed to be a pale blue pair of pajamas. As he took a step forward, he winced in pain.

"Severus, sit down, you need to rest."

"There isn't enough time. The wounds will heal over soon enough." He looked at the girl one last time. He marched out of the room, hoping that somewhere in the world there was a place where he could sleep peacefully. He hoped too much.

He passed Professor Flitwick in the halls, who was only a third of his height. He had a head of greying hair and a small pair of glasses perched up on his scrunching nose. He was like a miniature toy. "Ah, Severus," he began, "you did well on your Charms essay. I have never seen a student who could so fully and eloquently explain, much less so captivatingly understand with such reverence Morgana Groplings's seven theories of Monumental Regression of Charm Creation," he piped with his slightly higher male voice.

"Thank you Professor," Severus said modestly.

He walked into his Potion's class alone; he looked slightly flustered as he took his seat beside Lily, who placed her hand on his lap reassuringly. "I'm sorry. I've been busy with Head Girl duties and preparing for NEWT's. Maybe this weekend we could go out to Hogsmeade," she whispered into his ear. Meanwhile, Selene Murray was at the doorway, kissing James Potter on the lips before they walked away to their classes. Lily looked at them spitefully and whispered something having to do with him being an arrogant toe-rag.

Severus placed his hand on top of Lily's. "It doesn't matter Lils."

"I know, but to think that we could have spent the past two years together instead of me spending time with…him and seeing him doing all this is just sickening." She thought that Selene and he were perfect for each other—they were both people she wasn't all too fond of. She needed to get her mind off of things. Proceeding, she went to get the ingredients that were listed on the board. She plopped the miniature jars filled with weed like plants on the black countertop.

Their girthful Potion's Professor had taken the liberty to redecorate the bland classroom. It was now richly adorned with pricey looking objects, of which were all taken as rare ones that probably had few to none copies of themselves around the world. The room had also taken the scent of tropical pineapples, piña coladas and sometimes there would be a refreshing burst of a sour, yet sweet lime in the air, which would fade slowly.

Professor Slughorn walked in with his usual ostentatious stride, his girth bouncing every which way as he waddled to his desk, a box of candied pineapple in hand. He was wearing an unusually bright blue shirt beneath the putrid yellow colored suit he wore. The smell of his cologne and fine, pricey whiskey wafted to every corner of the room, filling it with a sort of intoxicating, yet sickening scent. He sat down at his desk; his pudgy thighs rolled of the brown velvet chair grotesquely. He twiddled with his mustache and let out a harrumphing sound as he went over the plans for the day, which he had seemed to have forgotten.

"It's written on the board sir," said Remus Lupin timidly; he was sitting in the desk across from where Severus and Lily sat. He looked pale and sickly, but he had a certain strength to him which you could see immediately if you were to stare into his bottomless eyes.

"Ah, yes. Just follow what is written on the board for today. You may or may not work with your partner today. It is really of no importance." He leaned on his chair and slid down it, yawning, while rubbing his pink-rimmed eyes, he nearly fell asleep, but Severus made a rather disruptive snort at what he saw Slughorn doing. Slughorn immediately stood up and began his regular lecture.

"As you know, we will be brewing Draught of the Living Death as we had not gotten to finish brewing it last year. I believe it would be beneficial to have you familiarize yourselves with this draught. I'm sure you all know the properties and such of this potion. I will monitor you as you go. Begin!"

Severus stirred the potion that he so revered, but as he saw his fellow classmates, almost all of which were incompetent idiots who should have been put in a far lower class he was in disgust; their utter failure to pay attention of any kind to their softly simmering cauldrons as a fine powdery mist began to emit from them was revolting.

"Oho, Severus," quipped Slughorn. "That is the fifth time I've seen you roll your eyes m'boy. What's troubling you?"

Severus squinted at him, trying to decide whether it was worth it or not to insult his methods. "Nothing you could possibly understand," he whispered into his cauldron. He sighed and rolled his eyes once more.

"That's it Severus, get up here!" The students were sniggering as Severus slowly walked up to Slughorn's desk, distant from whatever punishment may lie ahead of him. Severus looked at the man with his tired eyes, slightly bloodshot and his lids puffed up from lack of sleep.

"I know you're tired Severus. You've been gone the past few days doing Merlin knows what. I also know that you could probably do a better job up here than I can… This has never been asked of a student before: Would it consolidate you for the time being if you were to get up here and "be the teacher" as the class brews. Yes Severus, you may remove points from Houses.

He was a clever man, Slughorn. It was at these times where you could see that he was a snake. Severus knew what he was up to the moment he suggested it. Slughorn was possibly even more tired than he, and seeing Severus so worked up by the class had sparked an idea in his head—one that would get him out of teaching for the last class of the day. Severus would play this game for the sheer thought of being able to punish students was enough to ignite the part of him that so longed to be a teacher.

"Very well, I accept this offer." There was a twinkle in Severus' eyes—a maverick's light of sorts shining into them.

"Oho! Class, Severus will be a sort of teacher this period." They looked up at Severus and Slughorn, who were standing in front of the classroom, both of them looking rather unorthodox with their odd, never before seen looks on their faces. "Go resume brewing." Without a word, Slughorn left the classroom in Severus' hands, bouncing off to his king-sized bed.

Once the door shut the students took the liberty to begin to chatter loudly. One student had the audacity to stand up and question Severus' authority. "Oi! Snape—in charge—there's no need to brew anymore!" he shouted so everyone could hear.

Severus crossed his arms. "Quiet down class," he said in nearly a whispering, low, unwavering voice. One by one, they turned around; their mouths shut tightly, most of them whimpering at him. What was this that they felt taken over them? Had Severus casted a charm upon them? Only Lily knew it was no absurd magic that he used; this was just a quality he possessed so reverently, but used it rarely up until this day.

"Bell, that's ten points from Hufflepuff for your cheek. One more peep out of you and you'll be serving detention with Filch for three weekends. Anyone else who cares to question my position and authority shall serve an equal or greater punishment. Is that understood?"

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

"Yes, sir."

"Return to brewing, you haven't got all day." He sat in Slughorn's chair, his upper lip curling. He would stand a few minutes later to observe everyone. "I wonder what would happen if we were to drink each other's potions…How many seconds do you think that it will take before we die? I'd say instantly…" They looked upon him with doe eyes, begging for mercy in their own ways. He had not tortured them, yet there was unambiguous consternation in their shining orbs.

It was a grand feeling to be the one who made the rules. For the first time, he admitted to himself that he missed his teacher's desk and the late nights he spent grading horridly written papers and examining worthless potions.

Lupin looked upon Severus with spite as the class exited through the front door. "Lupin, stay."

Remus walked over to him reluctantly and slowly. "What are you in need of Snape?" He surprisingly didn't have a problem with being near Snape. Unlike his friends, he didn't resent Snape; he rather felt awkward whenever he was near him. Though this time, he was slightly angered with Snape.

"You've been staring angrily at me during the entire class. I would like to know why." Severus put the flasks full of plant-like ingredients onto the shelves, while attempting to organize it slightly.

Lupin looked upon Snape with his turquoise eyes in curiousity. "It's Sirius. He's been to hell and back this past month. When I had asked him what was going on, at first he refused to tell me. After a bit of prodding, I had gotten him to tell me that it involved you. What are you planning to do with him, Snape?"

"It's none of your concern."

"I've heard you speaking with Dumbledore. Something's going on here. I can feel it in my veins." He paused to help Snape with the shelf full of ingredients. "I know it's none of my business, but I've heard enough to be curious."

Severus walked to a cabinet filled with potions of various color. He opened it and took out seven blue colored potions. "I'm in the Order Severus."

"You don't think that I don't know that already? I have my own things to do Lupin, and none of them include telling you." He slid the potions in Lupin's direction. "Take one of these each day for a week, before the full moon rises."

"That isn't—it can't be." He gasped.

"It is the Wolfsbane potion—brewed successfully."

"Thank you, Severus. I—I don't know if I'll be—thank you." He was in awe.

"You're not going to inquire that it's poisonous or tampered with? My, my—going soft are we? Where are the accusations?"

Lupin smoothed out his light brown hair before answering. "You wouldn't poison anyone Severus. You may be dark, but you aren't evil. I'll leave the Sirius thing where it is, for now, but if I see him like this once more, I will ask again and you will have to tell me something!" Lupin left quickly, the potions in hand.

Severus hadn't had a chance to fully absorb what had happened this past week. He turned to see Lily at the door, waiting for him, smiling happily, her eyes speaking words of praise. She had only heard the last sentence. She did not question their conversation; it wasn't her place to. He walked to her, and took her hand into his. Severus let himself drown in the woman, but he hadn't reached the bottom of the vast ocean, yet. However, he was close to it. How great and petrifying a feeling it was.

A/N: I am not evil—I am just dark. I didn't want to hold you by the tenterhooks too long, though I fear that I have done the opposite. Next chapter is coming on Sunday. You'll get a teaser for it on Friday.

To those of you who saw this on Monday for the few hours that it was up, I'm sorry for posting it again. I just felt like no one would read it because of Christmas. As I late Christmas present may I have follows, reviews and favorites?

By the way, for the 200th reviewer and 100th favorite and follower, I will write a one shot for you, about whichever couple of your choosing, it may or may not be from Harry Potter. (You may also have a say in the plot of the one-shot.)

-E.S. Grey