Leftover Alphabet Soup

*approaches keyboard in shame* Sorry, guys. I got distracted. By something shiny. Also known as A Very Potter Musical. What? You haven't watched it? Why the fuck are you reading this when you could be watching that? GO. NOW.

Now that my distraction ploy has worked, no one will be left to read this piece of crud! (But seriously, though. Just go to Youtube and watch it ASAP. Or I'll come after your soul.)

Disclaimer: If you don't-own-Max-Ride-but-channel-your-love-through-manipulating-the-characters-and-scenarioes-offered-in-the-books-to-your-own-liking clap your hands!

L is for: Luscious Lemons
By: Ninja C

Gazzy ran into the living room from one of the hallways in our E-shaped house and flung himself onto my lap.

"Well, hello there," I grunted. A seven-year-old is hardly buoyant when his full weight is thrust upon you at one time. I surreptitiously rubbed my leg and made an exaggerated "OW" face while Gazzy's face was turned.

"Max, I found this in J..." His face suddenly reddened, and he trailed off.

"Gasman, did you go into Jeb's study?" I asked sternly. Knowing that he had no way away from it, Gazzy nodded.

I sighed. Nothing I could really do about it now. I grabbed at the book Gazzy had produced. The title read The Flame and the Flower. I flipped it to look at the back.

"For the flame will surely come,
And burn, and blacken, and lay bare the hill.
But with the first sweet breath of spring
The shy and lovely flower will again show
Its face among the charred ruins.
It yields to the searing heat,
But with its persistent beauty
Far surpasses and finally tames the flame."

Sounded hokey to me, so I peeled open the pages (but not before sniffing the goop that was keeping them together - it was lemon-flavored candy residue). Almost immediately I slammed shut the book. I found the content to be a bit... ah... mature for a seven-year-old.

"Hey, Gaz," I evaded as my hand searched the coffee table for something - anything - that would supplant the trashy book. "What if we read..." I grabbed what felt like a book, "this?" I held up one of the books in Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events.

Gazzy made a face. "That looks boring. Anyway, I found this, and I want to read it." The lower lip began to poke out, but I averted my eyes.

"Look, Gazzy. I'm not going to read you this book. Deal with it. Capice?"

"But why, Max?"

Keep your cool, Max. Dignity.

I simply got up and walked out. Iggy was in the hall cleaning one of the end tables with lemon-scented cleaner.

"Hey, Ig," I hissed. He looked up. "Do not, under any circumstances, read the Gasman a book entitled The Flame and the Flower. Got it?"

Iggy just looked at me for a while. "I'm blind, Maximum."

I cringed. "Ah. Yeah. Right. ...Later."

He waved sarcastically. And then... from the living room, I heard the word, "Cool."

Oh shit no.

Upon arriving back in the living room, I saw the Gasman on Fang's lap, with a book in his hands.

"Please tell me that's the Lemony book."

Fang smirked. "Oh, it's lemony, all right."

I internally facepalmed.

Aaaaaaaaaaand this is why i should not be legally allowed to write past nine. (That's when my brain shuts off, for anyone who doesn't know.) FAIL. Please don't hate me. *retreats back into seclusion*

Akira, it's the chapter you've been waiting for... HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YOU GET M IS FOR MAGICAL MERMAID... MAX! Now GO WATCH A VERY POTTER MUSICAL.

C out.