Coffee and Confrontations….
Charlie Crews stood in the middle of an active, well lit and cheery coffee house listening to the white noise of an espresso maker, while a twenty something kid with a pierced nose and multiple tribal tats made Dani's coffee. He glanced outside where Jack Reese sat in his expensive car with the window rolled down still fuming. He imagined the anger rolling off Jack Reese like waves of heat in a fire. Charlie had every reason to hate the man, but he found himself respecting the fierceness with which Jack protected his daughter – that Charlie respected. In that aspect alone, Charlie found himself on the same sheet of music as former SWAT Captain Jack Reese.
Crews paid the Goth girl manning the cash register, snagging an apple to stave off his hunger and silence his growling stomach. He could not recall when last he ate a good meal and thought about how it seemed like a week since he and Dani were chatting amiably in their unmarked on another night of surveillance, when in reality it had been less than 12 hours. Everything had changed in the blink of an eye and again he was reminded of all the things he could lose. He swallowed hard thinking about how very rapidly everything important to him could be taken away. It was like the night they arrested him fifteen years ago – it seemed surreal, like watching a television show of someone else's life, but then it was horrifyingly real for twelve long years. He shuddered just thinking about it.
"Sir" the kid with the tats and piercings said for perhaps the third time "your coffee?" Charlie blinked himself back to the now, stuffed the apple in his pocket, collected the two cups of coffee and walked to his car. He silently handed the cup of black coffee to Jack Reese through the window, which Dani's father took without comment. Dani's coffee he slipped into the cup holder in the console.
"They're not going to let you take that into the ICU" Jack told him flatly.
Charlie said nothing, but sparked the engine to life and headed towards the hospital, away from the confusion and noise of the LA nightlife, back to the quiet hospital and sleeping, soothing presence of his partner. Somehow just being in the same room with Dani Reese smoothed out the rough edges for Charlie.
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Tidwell was not as relieved from his visit to Dani in the hospital as he had hoped. In the back of his mind lurked the thought that she was slipping away from him and with his head down deep in thought he meandered through the antiseptic hospital corridors to the parking garage, dreading his return to the station and the chaos there. So much for a respite.
He looked up as he heard the throaty growl of Crews expensive black sports car in the quietness of the garage. It was approaching twenty-four hours post shooting and Crews had yet to make even a basic statement to IAD. Tidwell needed to corral his quirky detective and get him on paper about the events of the night prior. He waited for Crews to park and exit the car. He hoped to get Crews back to the station to make some sort of statement about the shooting, but knew it would be a fight to tear him away from Dani.
Crews exited the car and Tidwell was surprised to see a white haired man with a solid build climb from the passenger side of the Maserati. Tidwell recognized the man from the pictures on the mantle at the Reese home as Dani's father. He nodded to Crews and waved him over. "Crews" he talked in conspiratorial tones "where'd you find Dani's dad?"
"I didn't – he found me" Crews said tersely.
"She said he ran off months ago" Tidwell continued "I don't think her mom took it too well and walking them into each other in the hospital could be bad for everyone." He counseled.
"I don't think anything is stopping him from going in there" Crews stated as he watched Jack walk away from them and toward the building.
"Hey, what the hell happened to your face?" the Captain asked him.
"I shaved" Crews deadpanned.
"Funny… you're a fuckin comedian Crews. IAD is up my ass about you and you disappear from the hospital and come back beat up, so how's about you cut the crap Detective and tell me who kicked your ass?" Tidwell remarked snidely obviously not amused as Crews oblique comment.
"Dani's father" he said staring the Captain in the face with hard, cold eyes.
"Oh…." was all Tidwell could muster in response.
Crews reached back into the car for Dani's coffee and then said "I'm going inside now, Captain."
"Crews….you have to make some kind of statement about the shooting. Officer involved, four dead bad guys and we still don't know what happened. IAD wants your ass on this one." Tidwell whined.
"So, nothing's changed, huh?" Crews joked darkly. Tidwell just shrugged.
"You can tell them to talk to my attorney or my PBA rep. I'll make a statement when my partner is stable and out of danger, until then they can just wonder and ask forensics – because cooperating and telling the truth right away has worked so well for me in the past." Charlie said in sharply smart aleck way – uncommon for the usually genial detective.
"They're going to try to hang you." The Captain warned.
"So what's new? Last time I didn't hurt anyone and I did twelve years. This time I killed four men, so what's that gonna get me?" Crews said in an uncharacteristically dark mood. "I'm not leaving her." He told Tidwell honestly, his eyes still hard but more sympathetic.
"Ok, ok…I'll hold them off as long as I can" Tidwell promised. "I can do that." Tidwell wondered about the intelligence of being so helpful to a romantic rival, but the cop in him couldn't leave Crews hanging and knowing that Dani would never forgive him if he did.
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As Charlie trailed behind Jack Reese down the hallway to ICU, he watched the man's gait, posture and non-verbals. Jack was clearly still spoiling for a fight and the tenseness in the man made him appear wooden and stiff. Charlie worried that Jack would be hard on his daughter and Charlie was fairly certain he would not stand for anyone upsetting Dani, even her dad. The whole situation reminded him of a Roadrunner cartoon and he felt like the coyote strapped to huge stick of Acme dynamite, and you just knew it was not going to end well for the coyote.
As luck would have it, Roya Reese was at the nurse's station as they approached. She paled visibly at her first glimpse of her husband, then her look hardened and she scowled at him fiercely. Her tiny hands clenched into fists as Charlie watched this beautiful, gracious, elegant woman turn into a fiery little nightmare. He was reminded of Dani's quick temper and the fury she could summon; also inherited from her mother it would seem. At that exact moment, Charlie did not envy Jack Reese in the least and actually almost felt sorry for the man.
The slap echoed off the sterile surfaces in the quiet ICU, as Roya struck her husband's cheek with all the strength her petite frame could muster. Charlie watched holding his breath and wondering if Jack's barely contained rage would boil over and he'd be forced to arrest the man. Jack Reese may have been a tough man, but his meanness and rage apparently did not extend to his wife. He exhaled, schooled his features and carefully and gently took his wife by the elbow and steered her into the hallway.
"Where have you been?" Roya asked her voice on the verge of breaking. The woman had endured a long day, after being awakened at 0545hrs by a policeman on her doorstep. She was reaching a breaking point, even for a woman as poised and graceful as she tried to be.
"I left to protect you both – I can't tell you why, but it obviously didn't work" Jack told her somewhat sheepishly. "I came back as soon as I heard Dani was taken".
"That was weeks ago and we have both had to endure much in your wake. You have made an ill bed and your family has had to sleep there." Roya lectured him. "We were told you had been killed."
Jack could say nothing in response – everything she said was unerringly true.
"Slap me as many times as you need to, then tell me how our daughter is" he said softly and as Roya blinked back tears added "I'm sorry I left, but I was trying to protect my family, Roya. You and Dani are all I have."
"You may not have Dani any longer Jack. She has chosen a different path, a more honorable one I believe, but she is stubborn like you and if you do not respect her choices our family will break in two." She admitted her worst fears as the tears escaped her eyes.
"I'm not gonna let that happen, honey" Jack promised his wife. He let the comment about stubbornness go, because Jack truly believed Dani came by that character trait from his willful and obstinate wife. Dani Reese never had a chance with an Irish father and a Persian mother, pride, fury and obstinacy were in her DNA.
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The Reese's departure left the hallway between Charlie and Dani's room free of obstructions and his path was clear and quiet. He walked to the foot of her bed and stood quietly watching her sleep with his hands clasped behind his back still holding her coffee. As Charlie watched the peaceful, sleeping form of his young partner, he puzzled over his failures.
After Pelican Bay, Charlie wanted to remove all the distractions and meaningless objects from his life so he could focus on what was important. He felt he'd learned so much from his time inside. He strode forward into his second chance at life with a firm commitment to remain unattached to "things". Charlie was intent on keeping his life uncluttered. He wouldn't even buy something as simple as a dining room table, but despite his well planned "path to Zen", he still managed to find something to become attached to – something he feared losing more than his own life, his hard won freedom or any of the money that came with it – his partner. That word took on extra meaning now as he watched the young woman he'd take a bullet for. He realized there was very little he wouldn't do for her.
He shook his head thinking about it, he felt stupid, he'd learned nothing. Still life was beyond his ability to control, sequestering himself from things hadn't stopped attachment at all, because you can't tell your heart not to love someone.
When he first got out, he'd wanted to go back to what he'd lost so badly that Charlie had nearly missed it. But that day in the car when Jen offered to divorce Mark and "remarry" him, Charlie realized she wasn't the future he wanted. He balked at her offer to move in and at the time, he thought Jen was just being cruel, but in reality she was releasing him from the chains of his past to walk freely towards his future.
Charlie shook his head again at his own ignorance. All his glorious Zen aims had fallen short, because Charlie was attached to something, to someone, to Dani Reese and the big question for him now was – if attachment really was the cause of suffering - who would it cause to suffer?
"Crew?" Dani called to him "Crews? You here?" He smiled at her use of something typically Zen, without any intent to emulate him. It was something she said often, but didn't appreciate the Zen significance of and it made him happy for no reason.
"Did you bring it?" She said in that slightly demanding, distinctly Dani Reese way he knew and loved.
Charlie smiled and produced the coffee cup from behind his back. She sighed and smiled in return. Charlie walked to her bedside and into the circle of light from the bedside lamp and handed her the cup, whispering "don't tell your nurses" while he winked at her.
"What happened to your face?" Dani questioned directly.
"Uh…good news." He studiously ignored her question "Your dad's not dead." He smiled brightly. "As a matter of fact, he's outside talking with you mom right now."
"He did that to your face didn't he?" Dani said darkly. Charlie just nodded.
"Drink your coffee, honey. I'm fine" Charlie smiled at her and kissed her forehead.
"How come everybody blames you for this? It's like I'm six and you left me home alone. I'm a senior detective, "your" senior detective and "we" got involved in a shoot out – it's part of the job. You're my partner, not my protector…" Dani was spinning herself up mightily.
"Shhh" he said smoothing back her hair. But Dani's mercurial temper was tough to contain and Charlie was reminded of her mother's rapid transition at the nurse's station. "It's only important that you rest and get better. You think I want to write this mess up by myself?" he joked trying to temper her anger with a little levity.
"I know what you are doing" she said returning to sipping her lukewarm coffee.
"What's that?" Charlie pretended.
"Handling me. Everybody treats me like I'm a china doll – I'm not – I'm a goddamned cop, Crews. I'm your partner, not a child." Dani pouted.
"I know that" Charlie said dropping the "honey" knowing it would just piss her off, but he was still concerned at her obvious agitation. Crews was no fool; he knew the dangers of attempting to placate Dani Reese. She'd eat his lunch and Crews knew it.
As she examined him clinically, Charlie could feel her eyes on him. Dani Reese was not a big talker, she'd already said more in last few minutes than she had during the previous night's surveillance. They fell into an uncomfortable silence.
Then Charlie pulled up a chair and sat down beside her. Dani could not know how her presence effected him, it was like sitting next to the fireplace on an autumn evening, more relaxing than meditation and Charlie's long frame visibly relaxed and uncoiled as he sunk into the uncomfortable chair and reached for her hand.
Dani Reese did not like people touching her normally. Touching she associated with the utilitarian tasks of wrestling bad guys into cuffs or meaningless sex to burn off her cravings for more dangerous pursuits. It was unnecessary, but as they sat quietly, linked hands and linked hearts, while their minds and tongues were silent, Dani began to appreciate her connection to her partner. He balanced her, he grounded her, calmed her - without him she felt….lost, cold and alone.
When Crews was present, even if she was annoyed at him, her psyche was in a better place, she felt at peace, safe - not from anything he did – but just from him being there. It was unsettling, how comfortable she was with him inside her personal space, it was as if she'd always been missing a piece until he walked into her life. It was becoming more difficult to imagine her future without Charlie Crews in it.
She quietly sipped at her coffee as his presence soothed her heartbeat and they fell into a gentle rhythm of breathing together as machines in the ICU beeped and whirred quietly in the background. Do not speak unless it improves on the silence Charlie thought – the meaning of the Zen koan now making complete sense to him. Dani ceased struggling and surrendered to sleep, her eyes slipping closed as Charlie watched. He carefully rose and reached across her to take her coffee and drink the few remaining draughts of the cool but sweet drink.
She mumbled something unintelligible, sighed and shifted slightly causing Charlie to squeeze her hand lightly to remind her he was still there. He set the empty cup on a rolling table near her bed and brushed an errant hair from her face. Dani turned her face into the warmth of his hand and he caressed her cheek. Charlie very gently kissed Dani's forehead and settled back into his chair, leaned his head back and closed his eyes, unaware Jack and Roya Reese were observing him from a distance.
Jack Reese looked down at the conjoined hands of himself and his wife and sighed unhappily. Some things could not be overcome by time, distance or emotion, they simply were – love was one of those things. Roya was still quite angry with him, she would not forgive him for some time and there would be penance in his future, but now was not the time for anger and recriminations – it was time for family – a family that Jack Reese feared was beginning to include Detective Charlie Crews.
His jaw set, Jack's brain began to grind out a way to separate his daughter from her partner – knowing Crews would be unable to walk away from Dani despite the danger and uncertainty he brought to her life. The man loved her.