Leftover Alphabet Soup

A/N: POSTING CHAPTERS APPROXIMATELY EVERY 15 MINUTES!!!!!!

Disclaimer: I don't believe James Patterson uploads individual chapters to a website as he writes them.

W is for: Whisk Wars
By Akira43

"GET YOUR BUTTOCKS OUT OF BED AND INTO THE KITCHEN! IT'S PANCAKE DAY!!!!!"

This is how every Saturday morning started. Why Iggy chose Saturday to rudely wake us up at the crack of dawn so we could eat pancakes, I have no idea. But he did. And believe me when I say that when Iggy tells you to get up, you better get up fast, before he decides to resort to "drastic measures".

This Saturday morning I was feeling particularly cranky. Last night Nudge had decided that Fang had to learn how to walk in high heels. Needless to say, it didn't turn out well, and I got to spend hours cleaning up the disaster zone afterwards.

I decided that I would take my chances this morning, and rolled over for a few more minutes of sleep. Wonderful, glorious sleep. Oh, how I love thee, bringer of dreams!

"MAXIMUM, IF YOU DON'T GET OUT HERE THIS INSTANT I'M GOING TO HAVE TO COME IN AND DRAG YOU OUT MYSELF!"

I jerked back awake again. Iggy was stomping furiously down the hallway. I glanced at my clock; apparently I had fallen back asleep. For fifteen whole minutes.

Oh, the horror.

"MAXIMUM RIDE, I DEMAND YOU OPEN YOUR DOOR THIS INSTANT!"

"Iggy, I'm getting dressed!" I protested, hoping to hold him off so I could go back to sleep. Again.

"IF YOU THINK THAT'S GOING TO STOP ME THEN YOU'RE AN IDIOT."

"Fine! If you really want to see me naked..."

"I'M BLIND!"

"So are bats!" Like that makes much sense.

"Iggy, what going on here?"

Crap. Fang.

"Max won't come out of her room, and is likely still burrowed under her covers like the COWARD THAT SHE IS!"

"I'M NOT A COWARD, I'M JUST TIRED!"

"Max, open the door, and come out for breakfast."

And now Fang starts speaking to me as if I were a small child. Now I'm definitely not coming out and giving them the satisfaction of a job-well-done.

"Max, I have a whisk, and if you don't open this door, I'm going to come in and smear pancake batter all over your face."

Okay. This was going too far. Luckily, we each kept a whisk in our room, so I reached under my bed and grabbed mine. After digging around in my closet for a while, I managed to locate the bottle of slime I kept for emergency situations. Such as this one.

With my whisk dripping with slime, I walked towards the door. "Okay guys, I'm coming out now. You can step back."

I turned the handle slowly so they could see that I reallly was coming out, then swung the door open quickly and flung the whisk at them, coating them with slime.

"HA! You two totally deserved that!" I taunted as they made disgusted faces at their spoiled clothes.

Then, out of nowhere, something wet hit me in the face with a huge SPLAT.

I looked up, and there stood Fang, holding the bowl of pancake batter and using his own whisk to fling it at me.

"Oh, this is so a war now. You're on!" I shouted.

The rest of the morning consisted of an epic whisk-battle, with each of the other members of the flock using their own whisks to fling various substances, such as mud and curdled milk.

I'll think about the clean-up later.

A/N: And that is the story of how the flock's most epic whisk war ever came to be.

Stay tuned for X is for Xenophobia by Ninja C!