Buying Back Your Soul….
Crews did not think there was anything Jack Reese could say or do that could bring him down from the mountain top from which he view the world with the new found knowledge that Dani Reese loved him. Charlie's heart hammered happily and madly, the house seemed hot and all the objects in it took on a new look and feel. He felt giddy.
Jack Reese on the other hand, looked like someone had just run over his dog.
"Look, Jack" Charlie began "I know you don't like me…okay...hate me… but Dani is"
"Save it Crews" Jack snapped. "You and my daughter are the least of my worries at this point" he admitted surprising Charlie.
Charlie arched his brows and sat down opposite what appeared to him to be - a broken man. A week ago, Charlie was on his knees in his driveway waiting for Jack Reese to beat him within an inch of his life and now the man actually seemed distressed. It was more than a bit disconcerting, but Charlie sat still and quiet.
After spending three years with Jack's daughter, Crews understood that Dani was more like her stern father than she'd ever admit and Reese did not speak until ready, but when she did speak it was usually worth the wait.
"How much do you know about the Bank of Los Angeles robbery, Crews?" Jack began.
"Just what I heard from other cops. It happened three years before I became a cop." Charlie said. "Rumors and conjecture mostly."
"I was there," Jack admitted. "You know that" he continued tersely. "Mickey's company had the private security gig on the bank and he had a fool proof plan to use some local hoods, who were totally expendable to actually pull the job. They were always supposed to die – they probably didn't know that, but we did. They came out with all that money and my team was set to ambush them and take the money. It went just as planned."
It was such a succinct and steady confession; it surprised Charlie. He sat silent, unable to speak, stunned to silence by the disclosure. He still didn't know how that translated to the Seybold murders, but in forty seconds Jack told him more than Charlie had been able to learn definitively in the past three years.
Jack continued, "it was perfect and then it all went to hell" he exhaled heavily. The man had just confessed to conspiracy, robbery and murder. Charlie wondered if it felt good to say it aloud, he'd heard confession was good for the soul, but no one he knew in prison actually ascribed to that theory.
"Crews? You with me?" Jack asked probably shocked by Charlie's silence. Crews simply nodded. "I was in, the proverbial made man, but it wasn't worth it. That money, none of that money was worth it, it cost me my soul and now it could cost Dani her life." He said looking down at his shoes, scuffing the ground like a pissed off ten year old.
Crews wondered if he'd misjudged Jack Reese, he seemed genuinely repentant and concerned for Dani. He still did not trust the man, but shifted in his seat leaning forward anxious to find out how Jack's choice all those years ago could reach out and harm Dani today.
Jack Reese raised his eyes and resumed his rigid, proud posture trying to gut out his confession to the man before him, the man damaged by the events they set in motion all those years ago. "You? What happened to you? That was Rayborn's idea. He wanted to bring you in, to continue the group. He said you were tough, smart and driven – Rayborn thought you'd fit in and perhaps one day take his place."
Charlie's eyes narrowed and darkened. People who barely knew him thought they could decide what he'd become. His life felt like a snowball rolling down hill gathering speed, careening wildly and leaving destruction in its wake. Everything that happened to him connected not to him or anything he'd accomplished or dreamed or sought after, but part of some organized conspiracy Charlie knew nothing about and wanted no part of. It was a product of some wild unseen force like a natural disaster except this one was man made – one man made – Mickey Rayborn did this to him - decimated that part of his life. Hate colored Charlie's vision red as blinding anger edged at the corners of his vision.
"Kyle Hollis, that family, that wasn't supposed to happen, Hollis was out of control. The only one I could save was Rachel." Jack confessed his shame.
Charlie Crews closed his eyes and reached for his Zen, whispering his mantra to beat back the fires of hell "anger ruins joy, steals the goodness of my mind, makes my mouth same terrible things, overcoming anger brings peace of mind, leads to a mind without regrets" he spoke to himself.
Move forward, not back he thought. Concentrate on what's in front of you. Be here now. "Dani" he whispered.
"Crews" Jack barked. Charlie opened his eyes and they were again the placid, unflappable, calm, clear blue of the ocean. Jack Reese returned a quizzical look, very much like one Dani would give him from time to time and Charlie smiled at the symmetry and the image of his young partner that his brain summoned. He thought of her asleep upstairs in his bed and her words echoed in his head "I love you, Charlie", he held onto that thought, that memory, that future.
"How does this endanger Dani?" Crew said levelly and as cool as ice.
Right to the point, direct, Jack respected that. Charlie Crews was calm under pressure, he envied that. Crews stared at him, through him. Jack began to appreciate what Mickey saw in the man. He was hard, fierce and fearless; Crews was determined and Jack hoped that determination would be sufficient to protect Dani from her father's missteps and mistakes.
"I got Dani into Narcotics – right out of the Academy. It was supposed to be good for her, a springboard into investigations, move her ahead quickly. Dani never had a problem with moving up the ladder, she's a good cop, but my connections helped her. My friends helped her." Jack continued.
"Then there was that mess with the drugs and her relationship with that informant" Jack paused knowing he was about to go down another road he could not return from. "That guy's suicide was not voluntary and Dani does not know." He exhaled at the release of information and the leap of faith it constituted. "He had to die or he would have dragged my daughter down with him. I didn't kill him, but I asked for help and that's what I got."
Charlie considered the man on the sidewalk and Roman Nevikov – he cocked his head to the side recognizing symmetry between his actions and those of Jack Reese. Both of them would do almost anything to protect Dani. It was not a comfortable feeling for Charlie, he felt singed by the fires of hell – blackened, but still standing. He could see the road fork into darkness and he stood at a crossroads. A few more bad decisions, he could be Jack Reese... It was very uncomfortable for Charlie and made him feel itchy inside and sick to his stomach.
"Dani went to rehab" Jack continued, "she got right and she battled back. To his day, she does not know and she can never know Crews" he warned – but it was a formless, vacuous threat. Crews had now absolute power over him; only Charlie's affection for his daughter would keep the information safe.
"They let her back in, gave her another chance" he paused "with you." Jack stopped and let the implication set in.
Charlie gripped the edges of his chair, until his knuckles turned white. He bit the inside of his cheek, while the world spun around him. Had Dani betrayed him? Had she like Connie only been willing to go so far? No! He calmed himself. He knew Reese, she would not betray him, and she would stand beside him at his firing squad and no matter what Jack Reese said - Charlie would die believing that – believing in her.
"She didn't know. I was supposed to be able to control her, to direct her, but as you have no doubt learned Dani is not controllable. They counted on her being able to get to you – that part I guess she did." Jack said shaking his head. "Ironic, she did exactly what they wanted, but not because anyone told her to. No one, including me, expected her to fall for you, Crews."
Charlie released the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. His face showed relief despite his better effort to keep his features schooled.
"This is my fault Crews, not yours, not Dani's – mine." Jack shook his head, looking at his shoes. "She doesn't know. Like I'm guessing you didn't know?" He looked to Charlie for confirmation.
Charlie shook his head no, but didn't trust his voice to acknowledge his blindness verbally.
"Both of you damaged by a bunch of old men scheming to plan your futures" Jack said sounding almost sad about the situation.
Charlie cleared his throat, swallowed hard and firmly asked his question again "How does this endanger Dani?" eager to know how he could protect his partner.
"They expected her to be an asset. Now she's a major liability, Crews," he explained. "When Roman took her it was to get to you," Reese explained.
"That much I know" Charlie said darkly "but Roman Nevikov will never hurt anyone again and no one will harm Dani while I still draw breath" he promised.
"I'm counting on that Crews" Jack looked directly at the man. "I will help you all that I can, but I can no longer protect my daughter. I hope Mickey was right about you. That you are as tough as he thought, because you are going to have to have your head on a swivel. They will be coming for you both now" Jack warned.
"And Dani can't know about this…" Jack finished.
Charlie Crews shook his head in the negative. "I'm through hiding things from your daughter, Jack. She's my partner and I hope she'll be more than that in the future. You can't build a future on lies and half-truths" Crews pronounced. "She's not a child, she's a good cop and she deserves the truth" he paused then added "even if she hates you for it. I won't lie to her."
Jack knew Crews was right but he didn't have to like it. "She's hated me for years, but as long as you can keep her safe, then it will be worth it."
"And why is that Jack? Why does your daughter hate you? I've seen your family, your wife loves you, and Dani did at one time, what changed?" Charlie pressed.
Jack stared at him. "Christ Crews, you really are something. I don't know whether to laugh at your balls or knock you into next week" he said his tension easing.
After a long moment of staring Jack added, "I changed. I thought that money would bring us a better life, but it doesn't - does it Crews? Does your money, all that money, does it make up for what you lost? Does it make you happy?" Jack answered truthfully.
Charlie looked at him ruefully but recognized the absolute truth Jack offered and met him halfway "I won't offer anything, but if she asks I won't lie to her and Dani is a smart woman, she will figure this out. I've given you this opportunity before Jack, turn yourself in, and get right with your family. No one will harm Dani, you have my word on that, but I'm not throwing in with Rayborn and I won't throw in with you either Jack."
"I came here on my knees for your help Crews. You have no idea how hard that was." Jack stated flatly.
"I don't know what you want from me. You can't actually expect that I would agree to cover up murder and robbery. And yes, I know the money doesn't make me happy. But Dani does and I won't risk that for you or anyone else." Crews held firm.
Jack realized this the best he could hope for considering the circumstances. He'd played a big part in the total decimation of Charlie Crews' life, he'd effectively obfuscated Crews' efforts to determine why he became a pawn in a larger game for the past two years, and no less than a week ago, Jack Reese gave Crews a pretty solid beating right out front of this massive house of his. He considered that if Charlie Crews showed up on his porch asking for help, Jack wouldn't have let the man through the front door.
Only their combined interest in the continued health and safety of Dani Reese permitted them to be in the same room and draw the same air. Only Crews devotion to Jack's mercurial daughter could be relied upon to any degree – and in that - Crews was unassailable and for that - his stock in Jack's eyes rose considerably. Crews was seriously committed and totally devoted to Jack's daughter – none of them had planned for or projected that.
That factor and Dani's affection for and belief in her partner were the wild card in this dangerous game. With that, eternal vigilance and a whole lot of luck, they just might be able to save his young daughter, but it would be on Crews' terms – not Jack's.
"OK Crews, you win. We do this on your terms." Jack capitulated. "So is there anything else you just gotta know?" Jack said his voice tinged with anger, resentment and embarrassment. He knew penance would be involved in his long road back, but he never expected it to be done in Charlie Crews living room.
"Yeah" Charlie said and Jack's head shot up. "Why won't anyone tell me what Dani was like as a child?" He smiled.
Jack's shoulders relaxed and the man looked ready to collapse. "Don't suppose you got any beer in the house?" Reese asked again running his hand through his thick white hair.
"I think I could find a couple beers," Charlie offered.
Jack was beginning to see what Dani saw in the red haired man. Whereas Jack had taken from life, stolen, lied, cheated and killed - life had him; Crews conversely had been beaten by life, but still found the character and temerity to fight back and avoid the bitterness that consumed Jack. Dani was attracted to the brightness in Charlie's soul, an unwavering, strong, clear light that shone through the man's deeds and inhabited his countenance. Jack had no illusions that Crews wrestled with demons, but for now… the young man was winning.