__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Me: MERRY CHRISTMAS! :D

Mello: It's Halloween, you moron.

Me: Actually, it's L's BIRTHDAY, you disrespectful little successor. So don't go correcting ME when you're just as wrong.

Matt: Shit, it's Halloween? What the hell am I going to do with all this eggnog, then?!

Mello: *cough* Um I'll be taking that, thank you very much.

Me: OH NO YOU'RE NOT. Nobody here's getting drunk on the job.

Mello and Matt: WHAT JOB?!

Me: THE DISCLAIMER. GET TO IT.

Matt: *sigh* Misseh does not own Death Note or its characters. This fic was inspired by Edgar Allen Poe's "The Tell Tale Heart", which she also does not own.

Mello: If it's Halloween, WHERE THE HELL IS MY GODDAMNED FREE CHOCOLATE?!

Me: *twirls in circles* Free candy for all my wonderful readers/reviewers!

Matt: YEY!

Me: NONE FOR YOU.

Matt: *pouts*

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The Tell Tale Fart

Original Author: MissehKeehl (Me!)

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Those eyes. Those hideous eyes. The way they would nearly bulge out from his head; they were always watching, always observing, always judging. Those black, emotionless pools for pupils could pierce right through you, to your very soul. Everyone loved our dear genius predecessor, but those eyes vexed me to the ends of this earth.

"Trick or Treat!" dozens of children cried, holding out bags of candy in front of them eagerly. Those eyes flickered with a flash of joy as they peeked into each bag. L, the great detective's birthday just so happened to fall upon the sweetest day of the year: Halloween. However, it was today that I planned to carry out the darkest deed fit for a monstrous Hollow's Eve night.

"Matt, snap out of it," Mello barked, pulling me out of my train of thought. "You keep staring at L, and it's freaking me out."

"Hush, dearest companion. I am plotting."

"….Dah fuh did you just say?!"

"Mero-kun, silence! 'Tis a time in which my ears must hear but the silence of a blissful fall afternoon."

"First you start talking in old English, and now you're using Japanese addresses. Speak like a normal person!"

"Cállate!"

"….Whatever, crazy," he mumbled, walking off in frustration. Poor, clueless Mello…

L tilted his head sideways, showing a slight smile as he stuck a multicolored lollipop in his mouth. Children gathered around as they tossed ribbons around his crouched form, placing a party hat on his head. I scowled slightly, rubbing my hands together in contemplation as I slowly faded into the darkness.

Mello watched me with wide eyes, chocolate hanging out of his mouth with utter confusion as his only expression.

~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~

My plan was impeccable. There were no flaws, no possible loopholes. Nothing could go wrong….and nothing did.

I found myself laughing uncontrollably as I made my way to L's room, glancing behind me every now and then to be sure I was not being followed. Once outside the door, I slowly….extremely cautiously opened the door just enough for me to peek in. I saw him there, sitting in his usual position on his bed; staring off aimlessly into space. Though he looked innocent, I know; I just knew he was thinking about me.

With a sudden burst of energy, I rushed into the room, flailing my arms wildely.

"AUUUUUUUUUUUUUURGHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"….Whut."

Those were to be the last words ever to be uttered by high-and-mighty L. Moving rather stealthily, I tossed a pillow (my weapon) onto the shocked detective's face, sending him flying backwards onto the bed. I leapt into the air and landed on the pillow, a smirk of triumph plastered onto my expression.

"I AM SITTING ON YOUR HEAAAAAD!" I yelled in triumph. L twitched beneath me; once, twice, and then stillness. I knew then that he was dead.

"I won!" I shrieked in triumph, jumping off the limp body and yanking it to the floor. Suddenly, I heard a small groan, and then a loud pwursh of air erupt from the man's posterior.

"…That's disgusting," I grimaced, holding my breath against the smell. "I suppose that's what you get for eating too much candy on Halloween, foolish L."

Shrugging the gassy interruption off, I began to lift up the floorboards and make an adequate burial space for my trophy of succeeding against those cursed Eyes.

~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~

Two knocks I heard on the door; one light, the follow-up loud and rough. Immediately I recognized it to be Mello, and panic rose within me. Setting the floorboards down, I made sure the body was hidden well before I ran up to welcome in my unexpected visitor.

"Why, Mello, how delightful of you to drop by! Has your Halloween been pleasant? Did you horde enough chocolate for your liking?"

Mello twitched as he eyed me warily, his lips pursing distastefully. "You're making me worry, Matt. Speak regularly, man, and not like some 40 year-old Englishman."

"Mero-kun, who need not burden yourself with concern over—"

"Matt, if you don't start talking right, ah will cut joo."

I smiled with satisfaction at his threat, grabbing a nearby chair and placing it just over the floorboards where the remains where hidden.

Poot…Poot…

I jumped a little at the sound I heard, staring down at the wooden floor as though it had just melted beneath me. The sound was ungodly, and by the look on Mello's face, I was the only one who heard it. Regaining my composure, I cleared my throat and motioned towards the chair. "Please, have a seat!"

"How do I know it's not set to blow up?"

"And just where would a thirteen year-old orphan boy get access to such technology?"

Mello shrugged his shoulders, kicking the chair aside as he opened a brand new chocolate bar. Besides the crumpling of the wrapper, another sound was becoming more and more apparent.

Poot…Poot…Poot…Poot…Poot…

I yanked at my shirt collar nervously. He could hear it, couldn't he? He just wasn't letting me know. He was mocking me; letting me sit like a pot on a stove until I boiled over. He was amused by my writhing, wasn't he? I know it! I know it! I KNOW IT!

"S-So, Mello, is there anythi—"

Poot…Poot…Poot…

"….Is there something that you…"

Poot, Poot, Poot, Poot, Poot…

"Was there a question y-you came here to ask…?"

POOT, POOT, POOT, POOT, POOT…

That terrible noise! It was like a beat, always playing and getting louder, louder, LOUDER. I can't…I can't…it's unbearable!

……..Fart.

"Dear God! My will cannot withstand such torture! Behold, beneath these floorboards lies the evidence of my sin!"

"W-Wait, what?"

"Just lift the damn floorboards, dumbass."

Upon lifting up the boards, Mello's eyes grew wide as he saw the body that lay there. After a few moments, he laughed.

"Aw, nothing a little duck tape won't fix!"

~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~

Matt yelped as he sat up in bed in a cold sweat, panting heavily from images and remnants from his nightmare. He looked under his bed hastily, tapping his hands on the floorboards.

"MATT, GO BACK TO SLEEP," Mello yelled from the opposite room. After one final glance around his empty room, the redhead snuggled back under the covers, about to drift off…

"Yes, Matt, go back to sleep," a voice whispered in his ear.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A/N:

Me, Mello, Matt, L: Happy Halloween to all, and to all a good fright!