ONE STEP FORWARD, FOUR STEPS BACK

A THOR/AVENGERS FANFICTION

CHAPTER TWO: Odin's Word

Loki awoke feeling warm and with sunlight dancing on his eyelids. He sat up, rubbed his eyes and yawned, stretching slightly. Glancing over, Loki saw Thor was already up. Loki decided to get up too; he needed to eat and get ready for the day. Frigga kept talking of an important meeting that father was requiring him to attend. Loki wasn't happy about that, but he knew better than to argue. He had no choice but to go. The floor was cold as Loki walked to his own chamber. He was sure his feet were going to freeze. He entered his room and saw Frigga rummaging through his closet. Loki approached her.

"Mother?" he asked, "Wha' are you doin'?" Frigga glanced over and gave him a quick smile.

"I'm trying to find something nice for you to wear, but everything is either too big or too small." Frigga replied. Loki sat cross-legged next to her.

"Oh," he said, "Can I help?" Frigga nodded.

"Of course, dear," she replied. Loki smiled and bent over to help her dig through his closet in search of clothing for him to wear.

An hour and a couple spells later, Loki was finally dressed and fed. It had taken him a few tries to get the spell he needed right, but he eventually got it and successfully shrunk something. Frigga fussed with it afterwards, making sure he looked nice. Loki really didn't understand why it mattered so much, but it also didn't bother him. He knew he had to look nice for Odin's meetings.

After eating, Loki spent the morning with Thor. Thor held his hand and took him horseback riding through Loki's favorite circuit. Even though he claimed to be fine, Loki knew that something was bothering Thor; he looked nervous. Loki didn't like it. As they stabled their horses, Loki was determined to make Thor tell him what was troubling him. He took a deep breath and used magic to block the doorway of the barn off. Thor sighed as he saw what Loki was doing; light reflecting off the glass barrier Loki had created.

"Loki, enough of this foolishness," Thor said. Loki shook his head.

"Not 'til you tell me wha's wrong," Loki replied.

"Loki, what troubles me is not for you to know. Now drop the glass." Thor said sternly. Loki sighed and waved his hands. The glass barrier was gone in an instant. Thor then took his tiny hand and led him out of the barn.

"I do appreciate your concern, brother," Thor said softly. Loki huffed a little.

"Yeah..." Loki muttered. Thor gripped his hand tighter as they entered the palace. Askr was waiting for them. Loki could hear Thor sigh loudly as Askr approached them. Loki saw that Askr, like Thor, looked anxious.

"Would you like an escort Lord Thor?" Askr asked. Thor nodded and pulled Loki into his side.

"Very much; thank you." Thor said. As they began walking, Loki tugged on Thor's tunic.

"Thor? Wha's this meetin' 'bout? Why is e'eryone worried?" Loki asked. Thor smiled warmly at him.

"All is well, Loki. I know not what this meeting is about." Thor said, not meeting Loki's eyes; a lie. Thor lied. He did know what it was about, but he wouldn't tell Loki. Why? They had always been honest with each other. At least, that's what Loki remembered. Maybe things had changed. Loki shook his head. Nothing changed! He and Thor would always be close! So why would he lie? Despite the unsettling feeling Loki was getting in his stomach, he decided not to ask Thor again. He must have his reasons, Loki thought.

Just as the day before, Askr knocked, Odin said enter, and they all bowed. Odin gestured to chairs and they all sat. At least, they would have if there had been enough chairs. Frigga and Loki were left standing, one chair remaining. Loki gave Frigga a warm smile and gestured for her to sit.

"Thank you love," Frigga said, sitting. Loki stood awkwardly for a moment, then shifted to stand by Thor. Odin cleared his throat and stood.

"I have called you to resolve a troubling matter," Odin said. His gaze was locked on Loki, making him tremble under the stare. Odin continued, "The past months have been filled with anguish, death, and betrayal, all due to one person. And that person is in this room." Loki blinked. In this room? Who would do such a thing? Surely not Thor or Frigga! It might be Askr, but he was high-ranking solider who probably didn't want to tarnish his reputation. So by that logic, that meant Loki was the cause of what Odin had said. Loki gasped and staggered on his feet. His crimes! It made sense now! This meeting was to decide his fate! Loki felt his knees shaking. This was not a place he wanted to be. Odin must have sensed that Loki had figured out that it was him who was being accused.

"Loki, I am not sure how this happened to you. Thor claims it was accidental; the act of an outside force. Thor also claims that you have no relocation of your horrendous crimes. I do not believe this so easily." Odin rounded on Loki, his breath on Loki's neck. Loki was sweating and had the sudden urge to pee. What was going to happen to him? His own father thought him a criminal!

"F-father," Loki began. Odin hit the back of his sweaty head.

"Silence!" Odin bellowed. Loki heard Frigga let out a sob.

"Loki!" Odin called, now facing the pale boy, "Because of your betrayal and thirst for power, you threatened war. Midgard was in peril and you wrecked much havoc. You are hence forth a war criminal of Asgard and will be subject to daily interrogations until this situation is cleared up. You are stripped of your titles, your rights. Askr, bind him and take him away." Loki's eyes darter rapidly back and forth. He looked to Thor, who was now standing.

"Father please! He is only a child!" Thor cried. Odin scowled at him.

"Silence, Thor, or you will face the same as Loki." Loki's lip trembled as Askr bound his hands together. He looked up at the All-Father, his eyes pleading with him. He wanted to speak, but couldn't find his voice. As Askr led him away, Loki felt the tears fall.

"Father!" he cried, his small voice breaking, "Father please! I didn' do anythin'!" Odin didn't even look as Loki begged. Desperate, Loki turned to Thor.

"Thor! Brother, please! Don' let them take me away! 'M good!" Loki's voice grew fainter as Askr dragged him away, Thor unable to do anything. Odin kept his gaze on Thor's scowling face as Loki's begging could no longer be heard. The two men held their silence until Thor suddenly stood and stormed out of the room.

Askr led Loki to a hallway that he didn't recognize. Loki didn't look up as they stopped. He had stopped crying but only because he was in shock. His own father was treating him as a war criminal. For things he couldn't even remember doing no less!

"Shut your eyes. You may never see how to reach your destination." Askr said. Loki thought it was an odd request, but he obliged. Once more, Askr tugged on the ropes that bound him and continued to lead Loki to his prison.

They didn't walk much longer when Askr told Loki to open his eyes. When he did so, he wished he hadn't. The walls were blood stained, the entire area smelling like dried blood. There were two doors and a barred cell, the cell Loki assumed he would call home. Askr undid Loki's ropes and gently nudged him inside. The floor was cold and it smelled heavily of blood. Loki stood and watched Askr shut the cell and locked it. The cell, equipped with bare essentials, was small and dark. It was so cold. Loki glanced over to the bed and saw there was no blanket. Regardless, Loki commanded his shaking legs to walk over to the bare, molded mattress. Loki slumped on the bed and hugged his knees to his chest. He shivered a little and shut his eyes, praying that this was all just a bad dream.

Thor was fuming, staring straight into the face of Odin. It took every ounce of his self-control to face Odin after Loki's sentencing and even more of it not to strike him. His father would not see reason and Thor could not make him see reason. Odin was facing the kingdom, the sun setting and light growing dim.

"Father, I implore you. The boy is five years old and cannot remember anything but that. Please, reconsider!" Thor cried. Odin shifted, but not out of discomfort or awkwardness.

"I assure you, Thor, I do not act out of cruelty or anger. I act on a basis for truth. I need to know what the boy knows. If he speaks the truth and he knows nothing, he will be freed. Afterword, we will try to set him right." Odin said. Thor released a quiet grumble from his throat.

"Why," Thor said though a clenched jaw, "so you can punish him further? Make him suffer more? Break him?"

"Enough!" Odin bellowed angrily, "I understand you care for the boy, but you cannot allow your blind love for him distract you from justice!"

"This is justice?" Thor cried angrily. "Punishing a mere babe for crimes he didn't commit?" Odin turned to face Thor, his one blue eye ablaze with fury.

"He did commit them! Loki is a war criminal! Petty circumstances and childhood innocence will not stop justice!" Odin boomed. Thor dropped his gaze.

"Then this discussion is over," Thor said wearily, "just know this. I will do everything in my power to protect him, regardless the costs." Thor then left and retired to a sleepless night.

The following morning, Thor was awoken early by Frigga. She informed him that Odin was calling some special announcement in front of the kingdom that Thor had to be at. Shrugging, Thor prepared for the day, dressing and attempting to do something with his unruly blonde hair. Satisfied, Thor left and met with Frigga who was standing outside his chamber door. She said nothing and began walking down the hall, Thor galloping slightly to keep up.

"Do you know what this is about?" Thor asked. He had a feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach and hoped he had nothing to worry about.

"I have an idea," Frigga responded, her voice strained. Thor sighed; he had feared this. Odin was about to announce to the kingdom Loki's return, status, and punishment to all the people therefore shattering any chance of fixing Loki's reputation in Asgard. This was one of the worst things Odin could do for the boy and he was about to do it. Worst of all, he was making Thor watch as Loki's future slipped away because of a few petty words. It made Thor nauseous.

The two finally arrived, Askr nodding at Thor. Thor nodded back and looked around, spotting Odin in his finest gown. This alone irritated Thor. This was not a happy or proud announcement and Odin was sporting not only his finest, but his favorite party gown to make the statement. Thor gritted his teeth at the sight, anger boiling up in his chest. Frigga put a hand on her son's shoulder as a warning not to speak out of turn; Odin's warning still stood. Thor sighed in understanding and dropped his gaze from Odin. More members of the guard were entering from the balcony and nodded toward Odin. He nodded back and the members stepped toward Thor and Frigga, bowing low.

"The ceremony will begin shortly," they said. Thor's brow lowered in confusion.

"Ceremony? What ceremony? Why wasn't I informed?" he asked. The guards exchanged worried glances with one another.

"Pardon us Lord Thor, but the ceremony is for you. You are being deemed a war hero today, but Odin wanted to surprise you." they explained. Thor's eyes narrowed. He didn't believe a word of that. Why would Odin keep that a secret? He wouldn't. Odin was never one for surprises. He used to spoil Thor and Loki's birthday presents when they were young, unable to contain the secret. It was out of character. It was a lie, something Loki would do. Ironic, Thor thought bitterly as the guards bowed and left, escorting Frigga on to the balcony. They then escorted Thor, then Odin. The three of them stood on the high ledge, staring into the bright sun. The entire population of Asgard was there, probably all wondering why Odin was ordering this in the first place. Thor dropped his gaze from the faces of his people and stared at his feet. This was not a happy day. He refused to pretend it was. Odin raised his hand and the crowd was silenced instantly.

"Greetings," he began his voice booming and proud, "I call you all here so we may all celebrate an amazing victory brought to us by Thor." The crowd roared and Thor tried to give a convincing smile, but his heart wasn't in it. The crowd quieted and Thor stopped smiling, his gaze planted firmly on the ground.

"The war criminal Loki has been apprehended and is being punished in Fjørlag-Bryggja as we speak. It was Thor who fought him, Thor who captured him. Thor, my dear son, saw firsthand the misdeeds and bloodshed of Loki. He saw the murder and horrors, and he preserved. And yet," Odin paused and Thor glanced up. Odin's face was twisted in some sort of expression that was a mixture of triumph and pain. Thor could see a triumphant and proud gleam in the old man's eyes, but his mouth was turned downward, almost in a grimace. Thor didn't know what to make of that.

"And yet," Odin continued, "my son sides with Loki. My son defends Loki, a war criminal charged of horrendous crimes. This is a most troubling matter. Thor has done no wrong, yet sides with a man who has." Thor growled and turned to face Odin, his blue eyes a blaze.

"You are wrong," Thor said through a clenched jaw. Odin turned to face Thor, his face stoic.

"Please speak up, Thor! I believe the people deserve to know why you side with slime." Odin said loudly. Thor scowled and stepped forward, angry toward Odin and love for Loki fueling his every step, his every breath. He inhaled deeply and raised a hand.

"Friends, before I explain my position on Loki I want you all to understand something. I am not a traitor. I am a brother, and my brother was a troubled man. I side with him because he needs me too. Loki is my little brother and he needs me now more than ever." Thor paused and gazed out into the crowd. In his head he could Lady Sif scowling bitterly, thinking how she knew all along how awful Loki truly was. He could see the Warriors Three bowing their heads in sadness over the grief Thor felt and wondered how they felt now. Thor shook his head to clear his thoughts before continuing.

"The reason I stand by Loki goes beyond the bond of brothers. No, this borders on injustice. When Loki and I returned from Midgard, Loki was no longer a man, but a child of five. I do not think it right to punish a child with in Fjørlag-Bryggja for crimes he cannot remember committing. He is only a child and yet my father, your All-Father, sentences him to the pit with no real promise of return. Loki has a second chance and I believe we can raise him to be a new, better man. Fjørlag-Bryggja is no place to do so. I feel it wrong and unjust to keep Loki there, and that is why I stand by Loki." There was complete stillness after Thor had finished. No one moved nor spoke as Thor stood there, his chest heaving. He looked around the crowd as they stared at him and he wondered what was going through their heads. Did they see him as a traitor, a conspirator? Did he manage to change people's views on Loki or did he not make any difference at all?

"You are just as bad as Loki, then!" came a sudden, angry voice. Thor's eyes grew wide as murmurs of agreement rang through the courtyard. He could hear Frigga hold back a sob as the murmurs grew to shots of rage, not all directed at Thor.

"Loki should be put to death!"

"He is the son of Laufey and has no business here!" Thor turned angrily to Odin when he heard that.

"You told them?" he growled. Odin nodded.

"But of course. The people deserve to know." Odin replied. Thor stepped closer, his whole body trembling with rage.

"That was a private family matter! No one outside of our family deserved to know of Loki's true birth!" Thor yelled, anger coursing through him like poison. Odin, his own father, had told the people of Asgard that Loki was adopted! Odin told the entire kingdom that Loki was a Jotun! He must of announced it sometime after Loki had disappeared and Thor searched for him on Midgard. Thor was more than angry, he was disgusted, repulsed even. He could barely stand the sight of his own father.

"I was right," Thor spat bitterly, "you are a fool." Thor spat at Odin's feet and left, the crowd's angry jeers ringing in his ears.

"What do you mean I cannot see him?" Thor asked angrily. Askr sighed sadly.

"I have orders. You are not allowed to see Loki. I cannot allow you passage into Fjørlag-Bryggja. I am sorry." Askr said. Thor punched the wall and let out a cry.

"This is wrong! Loki is a boy, not a criminal! I want to see him!" Thor yelled. Askr came to his side and put a hand on his shoulder.

"And you shall, just not now," Askr said softly. Thor glanced up at his friend, his eyes glistening with sadness.

"But that is too long," Thor said sadly, walking away and leaving Askr alone.

Thor roamed the hallways, reminiscing on his childhood. He and Loki had been close when they were young, always doing everything together. However, Thor's friends never cared for Loki, excluding him and bullying him constantly. But Thor was always there for him, managing to leave engagements early to check on his brother. Loki had often admitted to loneliness, but declined Thor's offers to stay with him.

"Go and be with your friends, brother," he would say in voice full of false cheerfulness, "I shall be fine. I have-er-studying to do." Thor knew better, but obliged. Slowly, the two drifted apart, not spending as much time together as they once had. Thor hadn't noticed this rift until after his banishment. He realized where both he and Odin failed and felt terribly guilty. Thor's eyes widened and he stopped walking, his heart racing. Were the reasons he sided with Loki not the reasons he had declared on the balcony? Was guilt the thing motivating him to protect Loki? Guilt of pretend smites and failed relationships? Guilt of ignoring his brother? Guilt for arrogance and kingship? Thor wasn't sure. He shook his pounding head, blood rushing in his ears. He was so confused, his thoughts and morals blurred, crossing each other and not making any sense. Was the child Loki truly innocent? Could he be blamed for crimes he committed as a man? Was guilt Thor's motivation? Thor sighed heavily and rubbed his temples. There were so many questions and no answers. Loki didn't remember his manhood and could offer no answers. All Loki knew was innocence and childhood. He knew nothing of Midgard, smites and family squabbles.

"Thor," Thor turned to find the Warriors Three and Lady Sif walking toward him. Thor was uneasy at their arrival. Normally the sights of such close and good friends would bring Thor comfort. That was not the case today. Today all Thor could feel was sick to his stomach.

"Yes friends?" Thor greeted, pushing his hair back. Sif scowled.

"What is the matter with you?" She cried, "Why would you side with Loki? Do you know nothing of his deeds?" Thor glared at her.

"Watch your tongue, Sif," he said coldly. Volstagg stepped forward, sadness in his eyes.

"Thor, my dear friend, I believe it unwise to support Loki. I know he is your brother but he is a criminal. This could really hurt your family." Volstagg said.

"Hurt my family? My family is in ruins! Mother always weeps and father is always angry. And Loki…poor Loki…." Thor trailed off. Sif snorted angrily.

"Poor Loki? Oh yes, poor little Loki!" she cried in a high, mocking voice, "He murdered hundreds and started a war, but poor Loki! He is a boy so shouldn't face justice!" Thor was shaking with anger.

"He cannot remember!" Thor yelled back at her.

"But, does that matter? He betrayed your trust and your family. He is the reason poor Frigga weeps." Frandal added.

"Aye," Hogan agreed softly, "boy or not Loki is evil. He is a trickster and if you support him Thor, he will trick you once more." Thor dropped his gaze. Hogan was a wise man who always offered helpful consul when Thor was confused. But Thor couldn't bring himself to agree; yes, Loki was a trickster, but as a boy it was all in good fun. No one got hurt when Loki was a child. His pranks and lies were small and innocent as a boy, and malice was rarely intended. And since Loki was a child, he wasn't dangerous. Then again, Hogan may be referring to what Odin suspected; that this was all a plot made by elder Loki to gain something. Once again, Thor could not-would not-believe that. Loki was a good natured child and he did nothing wrong. His treatment and imprisonment was what was wrong. Thor took a deep breath.

"Friends, I do not care about my reputation as prince, nor do I care of past deeds. I do not think this is some ploy of Loki's. Hiemdall and I agree that this was done by some outside force and Loki had nothing to do with it. Loki is a child, one undeserving of Fjørlag-Bryggja. I will not deny that Loki is a trickster but he is not a menace. Think back to our childhood and remember that Loki, not the Loki with whom you hold rightful anger against. Think of them as different people because they are. One is a criminal but the one alone and frightened in Fjørlag-Bryggja is not that Loki. The one in that place is an innocent boy who has committed no crime. I know I cannot make you see, but ask you to try. Please." The Warriors Three and Sif dropped their gazes but Thor held his.

"Dear friend, I am sorry, but if you stand with Loki, you stand against us." Frandal said. He and the other two men left, Sif still glaring at Thor.

"I can't believe you," she snapped, still glaring angrily at Thor.

"Sif please, be reasonable," Thor said softly. Sif huffed at him.

"Reasonable. Do you know what I see as reasonable? Punishment for crimes. Criminals forced to pay for their wrong doings. Just because you don't see it that way, don't push it on me. I hate Loki, and if you stand with him then I hate you too." Thor's jaw dropped, his eyes widening. Sif, one of his oldest and most beloved friends, just said she hated him.

"S-Sif…Sif please. You are my friend. I mean no malice in siding with Loki. I only wish to keep him safe." Thor said quickly.

"What about keeping us safe? You let Loki roam free and no one in the nine realms is safe! He is dangerous…a monster…." Sif said, ending on a whisper.

"You're wrong," Thor said, approaching Sif. He attempted to put a hand on her strong shoulder but she pushed it aside. "Sif, he has the opportunity to grow into a new man. He has the chance to do good. I assure you, he's not dangerous." Sif snorted and walked away.

"No Thor. It is you who is wrong," Thor watched Sif go, sadness filling him up like a river flows into an ocean. His four closest friends stood against him all because he wished to protect Loki. Because he believed Loki could do good, that Loki deserved to grow up and be a good man. Thor walked away and walked passed Odin and Frigga's chamber. He heard Frigga's sobs echoing through the room, each so loud and painful that not only could Thor hear it from closed doors, but he could feel them. They were deep, heartbreaking. She cried for her broken family. Thor walked away and the guards didn't look at him. If they did, they glared at him or whispered "traitor" or "Frost-Giant lover" under their breaths. His friends were gone and Loki, his constant friend and anchor, was gone and unreachable by all means. For the first time in Thor's life, he truly felt alone.