ONE STEP FORWARD, FOUR STEPS BACK
A THOR/AVENGERS FANFICTION
CHAPTER FIFTEEN: Stories
It didn't take long to find Jane. She was furiously writing at a desk shoved in the very back of the building. Darcy said that Jane has been unable to stay in one place for too long, her obsession with finding a way to Asgard making her jittery. Loki was dragging his feet in a tired protest, unwilling to walk any further. Thor scolded him lightly and Loki merely stuck his tongue out, too sleepy to think of a good comeback. Thor rolled his eyes; brothers.
"Um, Jane?" Darcy said. Jane didn't look up.
"What Darcy? I'm busy." Jane said hurriedly. Darcy huffed.
"Fine. I guess you don't have time to see Thor. Oh, well…" Darcy trailed off and Jane's head shot up. She and Thor made eye contact and Jane's tense face relaxed and broke into a huge smile. Thor let go of Loki's hand (much to Loki's displeasure) and hurried over to her, Jane standing now. The two kissed and Loki stuck his tongue out in disgust.
"Yuck," Loki muttered. They broke the kiss and Thor was laughing lightly. Jane cast her gaze to Loki and her brow furrowed.
"Who is that Thor?" she asked. Thor gulped and let out a nervous chuckle.
"That is quite a story, and one you shall hear. Do you have a place for us to sit?" Thor asked. Jane nodded.
"Yes of course. Follow me, please." Jane began. Thor took Loki's hand once more and followed Jane to an open area with a few sofas. Jane sat down and Thor sat next her, hoisting Loki on to his lap. The boy yawned loudly and rubbed his itching eyes.
"'M tired…" Loki whined. Thor shushed him and glanced over to Jane who was smiling.
"So who is he?" Jane asked. Thor took a deep breath.
"This is Loki, my little brother," Thor said. Jane gasped and Darcy's hand immediately grabbed her tazer. Loki's eyes widened in fear and he clung to Thor, his entire frame shaking. Thor raised a hand and rubbed Loki's back with the free one.
"Please, calm down. Loki won't hurt you." Thor said slowly and calmly. Loki began to sniffle and Thor shushed him gently.
"Could you explain why he's here in the first place?" Jane demanded, not understanding why Thor would bring his criminal brother into her laboratory. He was one of the reasons that she had to relocate to that S.H.I.E.L.D. facility in the first place. Jane was almost insulted that Thor would even dare bring Loki here.
"Of course. As you can see, Loki is a little boy. I don't know why it happened or how, just that it happened." Thor told her, Loki's sniffs quieter. Jane shifted a little in her seat. Darcy still had the tazer out, ready to taze Loki if things got bad.
"When did this happen?" Jane asked.
"Sometime during our trip back to Asgard. When we arrived home, Loki was like this. I assure you, he cannot remember anything. He has been informed of his misdeeds, but cannot remember committing them. After we arrived in Asgard, our father Odin sent Loki away to a terrible prison and tortured him for information for two weeks. We are outcasts in Asgard and fugitives on Midgard." Thor explained. Jane's eyes narrowed; what exactly did Thor want? It wasn't as if she minded having Thor in her laboratory; quite the opposite really. She loved having Thor around. It was Loki who was unwelcome. Little boy or not, Jane didn't trust him and knew that Erik wouldn't show up the next day if he knew Loki was here.
"What do you need me to do?" Jane asked. Thor's gaze lowered to Loki who was still shivering with fear.
"Allow us to stay. Please Jane." Thor said softly. Loki glanced over and smiled weakly. Jane sighed and put her face in her hands.
"Is she okay Thor?" Loki asked. Thor nodded.
"Of course. She's just thinking." Thor told him. Loki looked over wearily at Darcy who was still holding the tazer.
"Wha' 'bout her, Thor? Is she goin' t' hu't me?" Loki asked, his voice quavering a little.
"I won't as long as you behave!" Darcy said heatedly. Loki's brow lowered in confusion.
"Huh? Why wouldn' I behave? 'M good mos' of the time." Loki informed her. Darcy scowled.
"Oh, yeah, right. Then I must have imagined that huge attack on New York!" Darcy retorted. Loki's bottom lip trembled slightly. Even though he now knew that it was his elder-self that did that, he still didn't really feel like it was him. How could it have been? From his point of view, two months ago he was playing with Thor in the gardens, not destroying cities. It made his head hurt.
"I didn' do it," Loki replied miserably, "Grown-up me did." Darcy rolled her eyes, but didn't speak. Loki let a few tears escape and Thor dried them.
"Don't cry, Loki. I'm here." Thor said. Loki giggled a little.
"You'll be in my heart, yes you'll be in my heart," Loki sang, causing Jane to look up at him. Loki met her gaze and flashed a grin. Jane merely blinked at him and Loki kept smiling, still singing that song.
"We watched the film that is from a couple nights ago," Thor explained, thinking that Jane was confused as to how Loki knew the song. She merely waved her hand.
"Here's the thing. You guys can stay until S.H.I.E.L.D. gives me trouble. The second they show up on my door step, you better get going because I will not protect Loki from them." Jane told him. Thor sighed; why did it take so long to warm up to Loki? It took him no time at all, but everyone else took days to even speak with him. Thor knew it couldn't just be due to the battle of New York. Then why?
"That's fine. Thank you Jane. Say thank you, Loki," Thor told Loki. Loki stopped singing and nodded.
"Thank you Miss Foster," Loki said, a yawn escaping him a few moments later. Thor smiled and cuddled into Loki, suddenly drawn to closeness. Not that Loki minded; he loved cuddling. Loki snuggled up into Thor and sighed contently. Life-in Loki's opinion anyway-couldn't get much better.
Jane showed Thor and Loki to where they could stay for the night and gave Thor a quick kiss on the cheek. Thor kissed her back and Loki made little gaging noises. Thor rolled his eyes at the boy and Loki giggled loudly.
"Get ready for bed, Loki," Thor told him. Loki nodded and rummaged through his things, pulling out Sindri (his gigantic stuffed wolf) out first and tossing it to the foot of the bed. He then searched for his second favorite pair of pajamas (his footed fish-printed ones) since the cow-printed ones were dirty. Loki found them and scurried off, "forgetting" to grab a Pull-Up to change into as well. Thor saw this of course and sighed loudly.
"Loki! You forgot something!" Thor called, Jane's arm around his waist. Loki peeked his head out from the bathroom and scowled, blush filling his cheeks.
"Did not," Loki retorted. Thor gave him a look and Loki's face fell.
"Loki," Thor began. Loki gestured his head toward Jane.
"Not in fron' of her, Thor! She already doesn' like me…" Loki trailed off, a lump forming in his throat. Jane's face softened a bit when Loki spoke, but she quickly pushed the warm, fuzzy feeling aside. Loki wasn't going to trick her.
"Fine, Loki. We'll deal with it later." Thor said. Loki nodded and retreated to the bathroom to change.
"What was his deal?" Jane asked.
"It matters not fair Jane. Just silly childhood embarrassment." Thor replied. Jane smirked a little.
"Whatever you say, Thor," Jane paused a moment, her face softening, "It's so good to see you again." Thor kissed her hair.
"Indeed it is. I missed you." Thor told her. Jane blushed a little and her brown gaze met Thor's piercing blue one.
"I'm…I'm sorry you had to go through all that, Thor. It couldn't have been easy on you." Jane said. Thor nodded.
"Aye. I was a wreck for a while; my brother missing, unable to see you. Then all that trouble started and it was all due to a brother I thought to be dead. Nothing can ever be easy, it seems because the second I have a chance to make amends with him, my father goes and tortures him! Loki! A five-year-old boy! It was dreadful Jane, walking through the halls of my home and imagining his screams of fear and pain…shutting my eyes and seeing his frightened face on the day Odin declared his wrath…." Thor trailed off, mumbling at the end. Jane shifted uncomfortably on her feet. This was awkward; Thor had just spilled his inner most feelings to her of all people! She was good with science problems, not the emotional problems of her Asgardian love interest. Jane sighed and pulled Thor close to her.
"It's alright. Nothing will hurt you here." Jane told him softly. The squeak of the floor was heard and they both looked over to find Loki standing nearby, tears on his face.
"What's wrong brother?" Thor asked. Loki sniffled and walked over, his green eyes swimming.
"I…I didn' mean t' hu't you Thor," Loki whispered softly. Thor's eyes widened; Loki had overheard his conversation with Jane. Thor picked Loki up and forced the boy to look at him.
"Loki, none of this is your fault. If Odin hadn't thrown you away, I would have never felt that way." Thor told him. Loki shook his head.
"Yeah, but if grown-up me had ne'er broken New York City, you wouldn' of felt bad e'er." Loki said miserably. Thor buried his face in Loki's hair. How he wished he could make the boy understand! There were two Loki's, two different people entirely. One was crazed and broken, the other young and innocent. How could Thor make Jane-or anyone else for that matter-see that when he couldn't even make Loki see?
"All is well, little one. Everything is alright." Thor soothed. Loki choked a little and buried his head in Thor's shirt. Jane stood awkwardly the whole time, wondering when she'd get to talk with Thor. It was getting late and she really wanted to spend time with Thor.
"Let's get in bed," Thor said. He lay Loki in bed then tucked him in. Loki was still crying, fat tears rolling down his face and soaking the blankets.
"I wan' a story," Loki whined. Thor kissed his forehead.
"In a little while. I will tell you a story in a little while." Thor told him. Loki sniffed but nodded, hugging his little goat to his chest. Thor walked back over to Jane.
"Sorry about that," Thor whispered so Loki wouldn't hear, "He has a hard time sleeping and getting to bed." Jane blinked in shock of how normal that sounded for a little boy. When she had heard that little boy was Loki-the Loki-she had expected a spoiled brat who would be on his worst behavior and pulling tricks left and right. She was expecting that ego maniac. Instead, she got a little boy appeared to be down-right normal. Jane didn't know what to make of that and her head was beginning to pound.
"Um, I'll see you in the morning, Thor. My head hurts." Jane said, kissing Thor's cheek.
"Sleep well," Thor told her as she left. Thor then turned to Loki with a smile on his face.
"Alright little brother, let's finish getting ready for bed." Thor said. Loki groaned and got out of bed.
"Do I have to?" Loki whined miserably. Thor nodded.
"Yes. We've been through this Loki." Thor said. Loki nodded sadly and obliged, getting back into bed afterword. Thor sat on the edge of the bed.
"What story would you like to hear?" Thor asked, trying to cheer his sleepy and embarrassed brother up a little. Loki thought for a moment, thinking of a good one to hear.
"I wan' t' hear The Twelve Ducks," Loki said, a smile on his face. Thor smiled as well; that was one of Loki's favorites growing up.
"Alright, let's see. I may not tell it as well as mother, but I will try." Thor said. Loki got comfortable and Thor continued, "Once on a time there was a Queen who was out riding, when there had been a new fall of snow in the winter; but when she had gone a little way, she began to bleed at the nose, and had to get off of her horse." Loki sighed contently and Thor hugged him closer. Thor kept speaking but within minutes, Loki was snoring softly into Thor's side, Thor continuing to tell the story regardless.
The following morning, Loki was cranky. He hadn't slept well (as if he ever really does) and he was clingy and whiney. Thor was patient with him of course, talking slowly and kindly to him. Jane and her colleagues on the other hand, were visibly annoyed and irritated with him, Darcy still fingering her tazer. Erik had reluctantly agreed to stay on the promise that Loki would stay out of the way. Thor agreed not wishing for Jane's work to suffer. Loki knew that it was indirectly his fault that everyone was in such a bad mood, and was even crabbier as a result. After breakfast, the morning found Thor watching television and Loki messing with the books on Jane's book shelve. He longed to read but had no books in his native language and still couldn't read English. Bruce had said he would teach him, but then S.H.I.E.L.D. came and ruined that. Loki's fingers traced the bindings of volumes and he accidentally knocked a book out of the shelf. He reached to grab it and paused for a moment, something catching his eye. A children's book was shoved to the back of the shelf, its bright cover instantly earning Loki's attention. He reached back and grabbed it, studying the cover intently. Though he couldn't read it, Loki flipped the book open and looked through it. The pictures were big and cheery-looking, all of them catching Loki's green eyes. Thor heard the turning of pages and glanced over to see Loki sitting cross-legged flipping through the book.
"What are you doing?" Thor asked from the couch. Loki looked up and lifted the book up so Thor could see.
"'M lookin' at this book," Loki told him. He stood up and trotted over to Thor, climbing up in his lap.
"Do you want me to read it to you?" Thor asked. Loki shook his head.
"I wan' you t' teach me how t' read," Loki said. Thor blinked.
"Oh," Thor began, "look, Loki, I'm not really the person to that." Loki's gaze lowered in disappointment.
"'Kay," Loki said, his voice breaking, "I'll j'st look at it, then." Thor sighed and stood then picked Loki up.
"Tell you what," Thor said, "I'll teach you what I can, okay?" Loki nodded enthusiastically.
"'Kay!" Loki squealed happily, "Thank you Thor!" Loki planted a kiss on Thor's cheek. Thor smiled and kissed him back.
"You are very welcome, little brother."
Thor sat Loki down at a dining table in the kitchenette and managed to find a pencil and paper. He put it all on the table and gave a crayon to Loki along with some paper. Loki was vibrating with excitement, grabbing the crayon and anxiously awaiting Thor's instruction. He loved learning and couldn't wait to learn how to read. Thor wrote the English alphabet on his paper as clearly and big as he could. He hadn't really written in this language before and was shaky with it. His knowledge of the language was very limited and he was a slow reader, but if Loki wanted to learn he would do his best to teach. When he was finished, Thor turned the paper so Loki could see.
"Okay, this is the English alphabet." Thor explained. Loki's eyes widened.
"'Kay. So these things make words?" Loki asked. Thor nodded.
"Yes," Thor said. He pointed to the letter "A" and continued, "This is the letter 'A' Loki. It has two sounds that I know of. It can make the sounds 'a' and 'ah'. Can you say that?" Thor asked.
"Uh-huh. 'A' and 'ah'. Can I write it now?" Loki asked the crayon in a death grip. Thor nodded.
"Yes, go ahead and write it. After you write it, say the letter and its sounds, okay?" Thor told him. Loki nodded and gripped the crayon even tighter. Before he put it to paper, Thor reached over and adjusted Loki's grip so that he was holding it the way Thor had seen others do it. Loki accepted the new grip and wrote a big, thick "A" on the paper and muttered "a" and "ah" under his breath afterword. Ecstatic, Loki bounced in his chair and giggled lightly.
"Look, Thor! I wrote a "A"!" Loki cried happily. Thor nodded at him.
"Yes, I know. Good job." Thor praised, Loki smiling brightly.
"Let's do another one!" Loki said happily.
For the next hour, Thor slowly taught Loki how to write the alphabet and his own name. That was about all Thor could teach and Loki was very disappointed when Thor told him that was all he could teach. Thor wasn't a very good teacher and didn't want to teach Loki wrong. Loki begged to learn how to write Thor's name and Thor agreed.
"Now what?" Loki asked.
"Well, know that you know the letters, you can try to sound them out by yourself. Don't get upset when you can't do it at first. Practice makes perfect, Loki." Thor told him. Loki nodded.
"'Kay," Loki replied, opening the book and flipping to the first page.
"I'll be back, Loki. Just stay here and be good, okay?" Thor said, standing up.
"'Kay," Loki repeated, his brow low in concentration. Thor left and Loki stayed at the table, his eyes glued to the page. He was so determined to read that he didn't care how little he really knew.
"B-b-er-o-w-n," Loki sounded out, trying to read the words on the page. "B-er-ow-n. B-erown. Brown." Loki said. He squirmed a little, happy that he read a word. He was reading! Thor would be so proud of him! He couldn't wait to read it to Thor. Looking down, Loki moved on to the next word.
"B…b-ee-a-r. Be-air. B-bear. Brown bear! I read it!" Loki cried. The door opened but Loki didn't look up; he continued to sound out the words loudly.
"Could you be quiet?" Loki glanced up to find Jane standing at the counter with a scowl on her face. Loki couldn't help but smile at her, proud of himself for reading part of the book all by himself.
"'M sorry Miss Foster, but Thor taught me some words an' I'm readin' them!" Loki told her happily.
"You couldn't read?" she asked. Loki shook his head.
"Nope, I couldn'," Loki replied. Jane opened the fridge and reached inside to grab something.
"Um, Miss Foster, could you get some milk out please? I'd pour it myself," Loki said. Jane moaned and got out the gallon of milk and Loki hopped off the chair. He hurried to the counter and stood on his tip-toes, but was unable to reach. Loki darted back to the table and grabbed a chair, pulling it from the table and to the counter. Loki climbed on to the chair and took the cup Jane got for him. He then poured is own milk, spilling a little from the gallon jug. He hopped off the chair and put the heavy jug away and then went back to grab his milk.
"Thank you Miss Foster," Loki said, sipping his milk and his attention returning to the book.
"You left a mess," Jane said shortly. Loki glanced up.
"Sorry," Loki told her, slipping off the chair and dragging it back to the counter. Loki climbed back on to it and wiped up the spilled milk.
"Is tha' better?" Loki asked. Jane rolled her eyes.
"Sure," Jane said. Loki flashed a smile.
"Can I show you the words I can read?" Loki asked her. Jane was shocked by the pure innocence in his voice. How could she shoot him down? But he's Loki and Loki isn't an innocent little kid.
"No," she replied harshly. Loki's bottom lip trembled and he sunk off of the chair and slowly dragged it back to the table.
"'Kay," he said, his voice high and full of obvious disappointment. Jane felt a pang of something she couldn't place (she wouldn't admit that it was guilt) and grimaced.
"I mean, you can't read all of them to me. I have work to do." Jane revised. Loki's face instantly brightened.
"Listen!" And Loki read "Brown bear" for Jane over and over until she told him to stop. She wouldn't admit it, but he was really cute and she really didn't mind him much as she thought she would.
"Loki, do you want someone to read that to you?" Jane asked after fifteen minutes of Loki reading the same line over and over. Loki nodded.
"Yeah, but I know you don' like me. I'll j'st wait for Thor." Loki told her.
"I…I don't mind reading it to you," Jane said.
"Really?" Loki asked. Jane swallowed her pride and nodded.
"Yeah," Jane replied. Loki squealed and handed the book to her.
"Thank you Miss Foster!" Loki cried, crawling into her lap. It was hard for Jane to not snap at him as he sat on her lap, but what harm could it really do? So far he had behaved and in all honesty had given no reasons not to be trusted.
"It's no problem," Jane said. She cleared her throat and began, "Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?" Loki giggled and pointed to the bear on the page.
"'M good at drawin' bears," Loki told her.
"Oh yeah?" she asked. Why did he have to be so cute? Suddenly she didn't feel hatred toward him. She didn't know what it was, but it certainly wasn't hate.
"Yeah," Loki replied, "I'll show you later." Jane smiled.
"Alright. Let's keep going." Loki nodded.
"'Kay."
The rest of the day was quiet. Jane had grown attached to Loki, much to her own surprise. The boy was enticing, her heart melting whenever she looked at him. She spoke with Thor and learned that Bruce Banner had a similar experience with Loki. He had started off hating him and later grew to care for him. What was it about Loki that made people care? Loki had wanted to see Jane's lab but she told him no. It was too dangerous for a five-year-old, not to mention Loki had yet to put Darcy and Erik under whatever spell he put people under. It was incredible how Loki was able to draw people to himself. His purity and simple honesty was a winning quality and it drew people in. Jane didn't understand it, but did it really matter? Thor was more than pleased that Jane was fond of Loki. He didn't like people openly hating Loki and was happy that Jane would no longer treat the boy badly. Loki was quite attached to Jane and was happy that they were friends. Loki showed Thor how he could read the first two words in "Brown Bear, Brown Bear" and Thor praised him heavily.
Night came and Thor, Loki and Jane ate together. Loki chattered happily the entire meal, both Thor and Jane talking with him. Loki was pleased that Jane talked with him. He loved to talk and wanted more people to talk to him. Jane giggled whenever Loki would trip over his words in an excited rush to speak and Loki would smile when she spoke to him. The meal went smoothly and Jane brought out ice cream for dessert. Loki squealed when he saw it and made quite a mess while eating. Thor helped him to wipe his face and Loki begged to watch a movie before his bath. Thor didn't see any harm in it so he agreed. Jane had a very limited selection as it was, and none of her movies were really at the lab. She had to run to a rental store and picked one out that was appropriate for Loki to watch. The movie she picked was Brother Bear, it being one of her favorite Disney movies. Plus, Kenai and Koda reminded her of Thor and Loki, so she thought it fit.
Jane returned and saw that Thor and Loki had popped popcorn and were waiting for her. She started it up and Loki squirmed when the Disney logo popped on to the screen. The movie started and all three of them fell quiet. Loki would occasionally ask questions and Jane would answer them then remind him to stay quiet. He would blush and apologize then turn his attention to the movie. Once it was over, Loki was sinning On my Way as he picked out his pajamas. Thor took his hand and led him to the bathroom.
"Tell e'erybody 'm on my way, new friends and new places to see," Loki sang as Thor got the water started.
"Get undressed, Loki," Thor told him. Loki obeyed and got in the warm water.
"I liked that song, Thor," Loki said. Thor smiled.
"I thought so," Thor said pouring water and soaking Loki's raven hair. Loki giggled and lathered up his own shampoo.
"D' you like it, Thor?" Loki asked. Thor nodded.
"Yes. I like it very much."
"I love you, Thor," Loki said suddenly. Thor was somewhat taken aback by the urgency in Loki's voice when he said that. Brushing it off as nothing, Thor smiled at his little sudsy brother and poured more water over his head.
"And I love you too, Loki." Loki giggled. He truly thought that no one in all the nine realms had a better big brother than he did.