Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. Stephenie Meyer's work.
Again I dreamed about the forest, the dark place where my dream took me every night. And I screamed, louder than ever – that was what I thought.
Charlie came into my room, he looked surprised and scared at the same time.
"Honey, are you okay? Bad dreams again?"
He stroked my hair and I felt like a little girl again. I didn't know how to take this anymore, the pain and this hole in my heart, in my whole body.
"How about you and Jacob take some time off together? Maybe you could visit Renée."
"I don't want to go, dad."
I couldn't leave Forks, not now. I was in the phase where I needed my voice again. Edward's voice in my head. Charlie's face looked sad, confused. I knew that I wasn't the best daughter to him right now, but I needed to do it.
"I will go to see Jacob tomorrow, now I need some sleep, 'kay?"
He tried to smile a little, but didn't really have success with it.
"Sleep well, Bells."
The next day Charlie was already awake when I entered the kitchen. He read his paper and didn't even look up. Was it because of me or was the article interesting? Was I really such a bad daughter? I mean I had my heart broken, wasn't it the same with everybody?
Well, I knew myself that in my case, it was different. Who falls in love with a vampire? And who can't get over him, even months after he left? That was me.
"I am off to Jacob's. I'll be back to cook dinner."
"Don't worry about dinner, today we're gonna eat over at the Black's house. So you can just stay there."
He looked up the first time and gave me a little grin.
"I thought you wouldn't mind."
"Sure, see you there, dad."
With calling him dad, I wanted to show him that I'll change, I needed a change.
Sitting in my truck I once again saw the hole where the stereo that the Cullen's gave me. Since then I hadn't even bothered to listen to music. I liked listening to music – before.
I rushed to La Push, wanted to be there before I changed my mind again. Jacob was already in their front garden.
"Jacob, I need a stereo in my car. As soon as possible!"
"Good morning back at you and of course, I can do it. If you have the money!"
He smiled his bright and happy grin that he always had on his face. I nodded and pointed with my head in the direction of my truck.
"Right now? Okay, I'll just tell Billy."
He was back in a second and beside me when I started the truck.
"How come you want to have a stereo now? I thought you aren't into music."
How could he know this? I had never told him that. Jacob always knew things about me that maybe I even didn't know. I smiled and Jacob's face looked more confused.
"Bella? Are you alright?"
"Sure, I am. I am fine."
I said it with a brighter smile than before. I think I reached the first phase: acceptance. And it was time, I needed months and these month felt like years to me.
"You are smiling."
And he smiled too.
"It looks good on you."
"Thanks."
Then I tried to concentrate on the street, I needed a truck when I bought the stereo.
"The store is right here, just pull to the left."
I did, and we went in the store, which was kind of small.
"Are you sure, we are gonna find something in here?"
"Yes."
He blinked and went to the shop assistant while I was going trough the store and looked at all the different things you could need for a car. And once again I couldn't understand what Jacob saw in all these things. But I loved it how he put so much energy and also passion in his car, my truck and also our motorcycles. I would love to have such a hobby. A thing I could commit myself to completely. But maybe this "thing" was right in front of me?
"Be happy."
The voice I wanted last night so bad, was there.
"I will be."
I murmured and in my thoughts I said good bye to Edward, good bye to my previous life. The one full of misery and pain. The one I wanted to escape to badly. And I think this time it might work.
A/N: R&R is welcomed and it's my first fan fiction ever. :) And this will be Jacob/Bella in a romantic way though I think the Cullens will be there sometime. ;)