Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight…hmm…I wish I did though…hmm… Yeah, if I did own Twilight, Jasper would be a super emo kid

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight…hmm…I wish I did though…hmm… Yeah, if I did own Twilight, Jasper would be a super emo kid.

Jasper growls from behind me. Crap, he's back again. Anyway…

--

"Hey," Alice lifted a wallet from the kitchen table. " Carlisle left his wallet." She smiled a wicked pixie smile.

"So." Rosalie looked very disinterested.

"Oh, come on, Rosalie. Think of the shopping." Alice's smile grew.

"No, Alice. I don't want to." Rosalie walked away.

" You're no fun. I'm sure the boys will have fun with me. Edward! Jasper! Emmett! Carlisle left his wallet again."

"Did he leave his credit cards?" Emmett called in return.

"Yes." She replied.

"Yes!" And with that, Edward, Emmett, and Jasper appeared in front of Alice. "To the QVC channel!" Emmett grabbed Alice's hand and ran into the living room with her and the other boys following behind.

Jasper flipped through the channels on the T.V. until they reached QVC shopping.

"And now," Alice started. "We will perform our favorite past time. Buying random stuff with Carlisle's credit card while he's at work."

"First up," The saleswoman on QVC began. "We have these fine hand bags. Handmade in Japan."

"Boring…" Emmett said as he leaned backwards on the couch, he could already tell today was going to be slow.

--

Five hours, and seven handbags, four toasters, a trench coat, and fourteen flashlights later, the item of the day came on.

"Today our daily special is a…" The woman paused for a moment to look at her prompt card. "A lifetime supply of ham."

"OH MY GOD! I LOVE HAM!" Emmett excitement had him yelling in Edward's ear.

"Emmett, you can't eat it, you know." Edward pushed Emmett away from him.

"I know, but think of the possibilities. You can carve animals out of it. You can lure dogs with it. You can give it as a present. You can name and keep as a pet. Ham is the most amazing creation ever, Edward. Why don't you want it?"

"Emmett," Alice looked to him. "Would you like the ham?"

"Yes, please." He nodded.

--

Four weeks later, there was a knock at the door. Carlisle answered it.

"Hello, sir."

"Hello." Carlisle nodded.

"Here's your ham, sir."

"My ham?"

"You know, the lifetime supply of ham you ordered."

"Oh right. Thank you."

The boxes were put in the house and the deliveryman left.

"Kids!" Carlisle shouted. "Which one of you ordered the lifetime supply of ham again?"