LokilovesNutella: Don't worry too much my friend! Everything is going to be fine:)
sakiko of soleana: Aww, thanks! This chapter was very, very emotional indeed.
NatheRiver: It is sad but I promise it ends on a happy note!
Zainy18: Yeah, I know, haha. I'm glad you liked it! :D Thanks for the compliment! That's so flattering! :)
Ynath Esrith: I agree completely. Hopefully he'll open his eyes (or eye rather) and see that himself.
randomKittyX3: Thanks for all the reviews! You're awesome! Your review for chapter six made me chuckle! He said his name because Pepper said hers of course! He's just trying to be polite. And yes; Bruce and Thor are the biggest sweethearts ever.
ONE STEP FORWARD, FOUR STEPS BACK
A THOR/AVENGERS FANFICTION
CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE: Bitter Truths
Elder-Loki knew he was dreaming. Everything was fluffy and warm, and he felt as though nothing was wrong. But something was very wrong; Loki! His eyes snapped open and he found himself in his bed back in Asgard. He sat up, utterly confused.
"What a strange dream," he muttered, getting out of bed and hurrying out of his chamber. Some strange compulsion was guiding him down the hallway. The hall led to a drop off and he went down it, instantly being hit by a wave of nausea and memories that didn't belong to him flooding his mind.
"Please! No more! It hurts, stop it! 'M sorry! Wha' did I do? Ow! Thor will come, Thor will come…. No more, please! 'M sorry!"
Elder-Loki paused as a bright light filled the hall he was in. He shut his eyes and waited. When he opened them, a solider of Odin's guard was standing in front of him.
"Who are you?" Elder-Loki asked.
"I am Askr. A friend of Thor's now passed." Askr said.
"You're dead? But you're so young!" Elder-Loki exclaimed.
"Yes, I know. Your father killed me." Elder-Loki's eyes widened. Odin killed this solider? A friend of Thor's?
"Why?" Elder-Loki asked.
"I refused to hunt you, the little one and your brother any further. He saw it as treason and killed me." Askr explained.
"If you're Thor's friend, why come to me? Why not tell Thor?" Elder-Loki questioned curiously.
"You had a question. The Norns sent me to answer it." Askr replied.
"The Norns sent you? Incredible." Elder-Loki mused.
"Indeed. You wish to know what is happening to you and the boy." It wasn't a question. Elder-Loki nodded and Askr continued, "You magics are at war with each other. Now that you are completely solid, the boy's dormant magic recognizes you. There cannot be two Lokis, so you and he are subconsciously fighting for existence."
"But why am I here? Why is he so small? Are we the same person? What's going on?" Elder-Loki said wanting for Askr to finally explain what happened months ago.
"The Norns see destiny, Bjarte. They know that you are meant for so much more that prison and destruction if you are willing to risk it. So when Thor was brining you home, Skuld transformed you into an innocent child of past with no memory of crimes and evil. She hoped that this would soften Odin's heart and change your fate. If Odin's heart could soften, then you would have a chance to be more than what you have become. Unfortunately, Odin's heart remained stone and the boy was sent to Fjørlag-Bryggja." Askr explained.
"They knew I could be more? They care for Jotuns?" Elder-Loki asked. Askr nodded.
"Death has taught me much, Bjarte. Norns see the fate of all men, not just the Aesir like Odin would have you believe." Askr said.
"So then what happened? Why do I exist?" Elder-Loki questioned.
"Skuld's plan didn't work as she had hoped, so when Loki and Thor traveled to Midgard Skuld, Urðr, and Verðandi knew that something else had to occur. You see Bjarte, you never ceased to exist; you were just locked up away inside of Loki. We were a shadow, something he couldn't escape from if he tried. You were the darkness inside of him. So Skuld, Urðr, and Verðandi separated the two of you, thus separating light from the dark. They didn't foresee how far all this would go and when they did, it was too late. You were never meant to reach this state, but circumstance forced you to. You had to save the boy and to do so you had to return to a solid state. The Norns allowed it so the boy could be spared, but are waiting to see what your choice will be." Askr explained.
"My choice?" Elder-Loki asked.
"As I said, yours and the boy's magic are feuding. You will slowly kill each other, but in the end you will win. You are stronger than him, so eventually all this warring will kill Loki and you will be victorious." Askr said slowly.
"I don't want to be the reason the little one dies, but on the other hand, if he dies, I could finally redeem myself." Elder-Loki pondered out loud. Askr smiled sadly.
"You've changed, Bjarte. You are no longer darkness, but brightness. Listen, the Norns won't choose for you. This is a decision you must make." Askr told him.
"Yes, I know," Elder-Loki paused for a moment. "What does Thor want?"
"Thor loves you both deeply. In an ideal world neither of you would have to die, but that's not the case. Thor would like to make amends with his family, the Warriors Three and Sif, and with his kingdom. You must decide which Loki gives the best chance at restoration." Askr said. Elder-Loki's eyes widened in understanding.
"The boy does, clearly. He has no malicious intent whatsoever. So long as they treat him right, he'll never stumble as I once did. I have to die." Elder-Loki said, ending in a whisper.
"Aye," Askr replied
"But why? My magic aided him before! Can't the Norns make it so we can coexist?" Elder-Loki pleaded.
"I cannot say for I do not know. All I know is that one must die. If it's you, then I apologize, but there really isn't a way around this Silver Tongue." Askr said gently.
"Yes, I know," Elder-Loki said softly, "That was just my selfishness coming through."
"It happens to us all," Askr told him. Elder-Loki sighed.
"Do you have anything else to tell me?" Elder-Loki asked.
"In fact, I do. Bjarte, you were right about S.H.I.E.L.D.. They have been acting under Odin's orders since Loki and Thor were in Stark Tower. He made an agreement with them, which is why they bugged Banner and tracked Loki so mercilessly. They were going to hand the boy over to Odin, but I never came to collect him. I always moved the pickup date, not knowing what they were doing to him. I can swear to you that Odin didn't know that Fury was torturing Loki. He only wanted Loki back on Asgard to finish his sentence in the Myrkr Rúm. He never told Fury it was okay to hurt Loki, but he did it anyway." Askr explained.
"Oh my….How could Odin be so cruel?" Elder-Loki asked, remembering his own pain in regards to his father.
"He was and always has been king. Being king is his first priority, so fatherhood takes second place. He wanted to do what was best for Asgard and the other realms." Askr said.
"What a poor way of doing so," Elder-Loki commented bitterly. Askr chuckled lightly.
"Indeed," Askr agreed.
"What will happen now?" Elder-Loki asked.
"Odin is coming in six days' time. The day after that, either you or Loki will die. When Odin comes, he will demand Loki. You must protect him. If he goes with Odin to Asgard, he will go straight to Fjørlag-Bryggja. When that happens, Loki will follow in your path of destruction, his real fate will never be reached and all will be for naught. Tell Thor of Odin's coming. He is preparing an army to capture him and you must prevent it at all costs." Askr said urgently.
"Odin plans on coming to Midgard? He plans for battle? What is old one-eye thinking? Old age must have gotten to him." Elder-Loki said darkly.
"No. Blind love for his kingdom clouds his judgment." Askr corrected. Elder-Loki nodded.
"I shall inform Thor, but I think that little part about me dying will be mine and mine alone to know," Elder-Loki paused. "Will it hurt?" He felt childish for asking, but he has never died before and was worried.
"No, it won't. You will die at around eight that night, so be sure to tell them that you care for them. Let Loki know he is free from you, free from the past and can be his own man. The boy must know this." Askr said, the light dimming.
"I will. Thank you, Askr. Thor will appreciate it more than you know." Elder-Loki told him. Askr smiled weakly.
"I know. Good luck, Bjarte." Askr said. The light completely faded and elder-Loki was now alone. He began to walk down the hallway and before he reached the top, he woke up.
Elder-Loki's eyes snapped open and he jumped a little in the chair he was sitting in. He finally knew who was responsible for all this confusion. The Norns had caused the whole thing to give him-or Loki rather-a second chance. That in itself was incredible. Elder-Loki glanced at the clock and saw that it was still late. There was no chance Thor was awake (unless Loki was) so, elder-Loki would have to sit on his new wave of information until morning. He sighed and fell back in the chair, preparing himself for the days ahead.
Loki woke up curled into Thor. Thor had a strong arm around the boy, keeping the boy close. Loki shifted slightly and Thor stirred. That's not what Loki wanted, but Thor got up regardless. Loki really just wanted to snuggle longer, but that seemed impossible now. Thor turned his head around and smiled at Loki brightly.
"Good morning Loki," he said cheerfully. Loki grinned slightly and wormed closer to Thor.
"G' mornin' Thor," Loki replied softly. Thor and Loki then got out of bed, the boy gravitating toward Thor's hand.
"Wha' are we doin' t'day?" Loki asked.
"I think that today is just a normal day, Loki. You'll have your lessons after breakfast then the rest of the day is yours." Thor told him.
"D' I have t' do the lessons t'day? 'M tired an' I don' wanna do 'em." Loki said.
"That's fine. You're still recovering from being sick. We won't make you if you don't want to." Loki stopped walking and held his arms in the air. Thor scowled.
"You're walking fine," Thor said. Loki's lip trembled.
"I wanna be carried, Thor!" Loki whined. Thor rolled his eyes.
"I will carry you after you get dressed," Thor told him.
"I don' wanna get dressed," Loki replied shortly. Thor sighed; the boy was crabbier than he had been in a long time. Not that Thor blamed him. He would be crabby too if he had been through what Loki had been through. Thor squatted to Loki's eye level and put a hand on his small shoulder.
"Loki, are you sure you don't want to get dressed?" Thor asked gently, purposely avoiding anything that would embarrass Loki. Loki shrugged.
"Can I wear pajamas?" Loki asked timidly. Thor nodded.
"Of course. In fact, these cow ones aren't dirty, so you can just wear these if you want to." Thor told him.
"'Kay," Loki replied, grabbing fresh garments and sulking into the bathroom. Thor pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. Loki was back to being cranky and clingy just like he was in Stark Tower. Thor could only assume it was normal since a new wave of traumas just occurred. It depressed him because Loki was finally feeling better previous to all of this and now the boy had to start over again. If anything, all this proved that Loki's spirit was resilient (as Thor knew it was) and that he would be okay again if given the time to heal.
Loki finished dressing and came out of the bathroom. His arms were immediately in the air and Thor picked him up. Loki laid his head on Thor's shoulder and Thor realized just how desperate for closeness Loki really was. So Thor stopped moving and instead stood still cuddling Loki in his arms. Loki cuddled back of course and the two stood like that for ten minutes, neither one speaking. Thor finally began moving again when he heard Loki's stomach begin to growl. Loki silently protested, snuggling in closer and closer, his tiny fist grabbing a clump of Thor's hair.
"I hear your tummy rumbling," Thor chirped. Loki looked up and grinned. Thor smiled back and continued, "How hungry are you, Loki?" Loki giggled.
"'M so hungry, I coul' eat a whole house!" Loki replied.
"I bet you're hungrier than that," Thor prompted. Loki's face lit up and he nodded.
"You're right! 'M so hungry tha' I could eat as much as Volstagg!" Loki said with a giggle. Thor smiled. If one thing rang true through the ages it was how much Volstagg could eat. Even as a boy he could eat more than Odin's guard combined and then some.
"You're really that hungry?" Thor teased. Loki nodded.
"Uh-huh. 'M really tha' hungry." Loki said with a nod. Thor laughed lightly.
"Then we should eat. You can even sit on my lap. How's that sound?" Thor asked. If it were possible, Loki's face would have brightened even more.
"Tha' sounds great! You're the bestest brother e'er!" Loki said gleefully. Thor buried his face in Loki's hair.
"I hope so," he whispered, the little boy sighing contently in his arms.
Breakfast was a quiet affair, no conversation being carried by anyone. Loki was happily sitting on Thor's lap nibbling on toast, his little feet swinging back and forth. Elder-Loki was in the doorway watching. He wondered when to tell Thor what he learned. Loki looked so happy on Thor's lap that elder-Loki didn't want to disturb him. But that information was so important that he may have to sacrifice Loki's happiness for now so Thor could prepare for his negotiations with Odin. Sighing, elder-Loki walked over and tapped Thor on the shoulder. Thor looked up and smiled, gesturing for Loki to look to.
"Bjarte!" Loki cried happily. Elder-Loki smiled sadly and patted the boy's head.
"Good morning little one. Mind if I borrow Thor for a few moments?" Elder-Loki asked gently. Loki thought on it for a moment then nodded.
"I guess. J'st bring him back soon." Loki told him. Elder-Loki smiled and Loki slid off of Thor's lap. Thor then got up and followed elder-Loki out of the kitchenette, Loki climbing up on to the chair and continuing to eat. Elder-Loki took Thor outside to the back porch where he was sure that they could talk privately.
"What troubles you brother?" Thor asked. Elder-Loki sighed.
"Askr is dead, Thor," Elder-Loki began, thinking it made more sense to jump right in and explain the dream in passing. Thor's eyes widened and he staggered a little.
"D-dead? How? How do you know? Who killed him?" Thor asked.
"He came to me in a dream. He was sent by the Norns to warn me of a great threat that looms." Elder-Loki said.
"The Norns sent him?" Thor asked.
"Aye, they did. The Norns are the ones behind my transformation, for the boy, for me. They did it so Loki could have a second chance and change his fate. But a peril looms that might make it all for naught." Elder-Loki explained.
"What sort of threat is present?" Thor asked.
"Odin. Odin was controlling S.H.I.E.L.D., he killed Askr, and is now coming here in six days to take Loki away." Elder-Loki told him, the bombshell breaking. Thor's eyes widened, then his face twisted in rage.
"How dare he! Does he not know what Fury did to Loki?" Thor yelled.
"No, he doesn't it. He never told Fury to torture Loki. That was Fury's doing. Odin wishes to take Loki to Asgard to finish his prison sentence. If that happens, Loki will walk down the same path I did." Elder-Loki said softly.
"Does he plan for battle?" Thor asked.
"Askr thought so," Elder-Loki replied. Thor pinched the bridge of his nose.
"What are we to do? Barton will never agree to help us, and six days doesn't give Stark and Banner enough time to recover and be fit for battle." Thor said bitterly.
"Yes, I know. If we are lucky, we will be able to convince him not to take Loki. I am good with words, brother. Nonetheless, all who are able to fight should be prepared to." Elder-Loki told him. Thor sighed and nodded.
"And what about Loki? Who will watch him while we talk to Odin?" Thor pondered.
"I suggest keeping him with you at all times," Elder-Loki answered, stifling a yawn. He really had hoped Thor hadn't seen it.
"Did you not sleep well?" Elder-Loki grimaced.
"Um…I slept fine, actually." Elder-Loki replied. Thor's brow lowered in concern.
"Are you sure you fare well brother? You seem pale…" Thor reached out to touch elder-Loki's forehead, but elder-Loki backed off.
"Thor, I'm fine. I promise. For now, let's just focus on Loki and Odin. They are what is pressing as of now." Elder-Loki said, his mind screaming at him. How badly he wanted to tell Thor that he was dying! He wanted Thor to know that he was scared, that he wouldn't be around for very much longer. He wanted Thor to know just how much he loved him. But he couldn't. If Thor knew elder-Loki was dying, Loki wouldn't be protected as he should be. He would be vulnerable as Thor searched aimlessly for a way to save elder-Loki. Elder-Loki wanted to keep Thor's full attention on the boy, so telling him of his troubles could not happen, even though he wanted it to.
"Alright," Thor said slowly, lowering his hand, "I shall tell the others of Odin's plans." Elder-Loki nodded.
"Right," he answered, his eyes prickling a bit. Elder-Loki rubbed them and followed Thor into the kitchenette, everyone still eating.
"Attention comrades," Thor said loudly, earning everyone's attention, "Bjarte has just informed me of something quite disturbing." All eyes were on them for a moment as no one spoke, Thor gesturing for elder-Loki to take center stage.
"The Norns sent a friend of Thor's to me in a dream last night and revealed information that would explain a lot. My father, Odin, has been controlling S.H.I.E.L.D. since Thor and Loki's stay at Stark Tower." Pepper gasped loudly and Loki's eyes widened in shock.
"Why woul' daddy do tha'?" Loki asked, his lip trembling. Elder-Loki felt guilt for saying that in front of the boy, but he deserved to know. It was painful, yes, but Loki needed to know that Odin was to blame.
"So that's why S.H.I.E.L.D. has been stricter than usual," Clint said.
"Not to mention the obsession with finding Thor and Loki," Steve added.
"Aye. Friends, my father is building an army to collect the boy. Odin seems to no longer care about Asgard's relations with Midgard, but I do. I am the protector of this place and I will not allow him to charge in and hurt anyone, including Loki." Thor said. Clint's eyes narrowed.
"What are you asking of us?" Clint questioned.
"I am asking you to stand with me. If we can convince Odin that Loki isn't a threat, a battle will be avoided. I'm more than confident-" Thor was cut off by Clint's hand.
"You expect me to defend him?" Clint cried, gesturing harshly toward Loki. Thor growled.
"He's not dangerous," Thor hissed.
"Look at what him being here has done!" Clint roared, Loki flinching slightly.
"It's not my fault Mr. Barton," Loki protested meekly. Clint locked eyes with Loki for a moment then chuckled darkly.
"You're right, kid, it's not your fault," he murmured, "It's his." Everyone knew he meant elder-Loki. Elder-Loki sighed.
"Yes, we all know that, including me. But this isn't about me. This is about him. Loki needs to be protected. If he isn't-and I'll be blunt- he'll follow the same path I took. Why? Because if all we show him is fear and hate, that's all he'll learn. I'm sure you don't want a second me around, so protect the boy. He is not me. He is brightness and I am darkness. We are apart, we stand alone. So treat us as such. As sons of Odin, Thor and I beg you to help us. Please." Elder-Loki said. Tony stood.
"I'm in," he said. Pepper nodded.
"I'll do whatever I can to help," she added.
"Of course I'll help," Bruce said.
"Me too," said Steve.
"Bjarte, I see what you're saying," Natasha began, "and you're right. Count me in."
"Thor, you know I love you and Loki, so you already know where I stand," Jane said.
"And Darcy and I will be there to help however we can," Erik added, Darcy nodding. All eyes turned to Clint who was sulking. He glanced up to all the eyes and sighed.
"Clint?" Natasha prompted. Clint groaned but nodded.
"Fine, but only because I don't want any bloodshed. I won't tell the brat any bedtime stories." Clint said. Thor smiled.
"Thank you all. This means more to me than you all know." Thor said brightly. Elder-Loki nodded and Loki looked around.
"You are all gonna help keep me safe?" he asked.
"Yeah buddy, we are," Jane said. Loki laughed lightly.
"Thanks," he said softly, gesturing for Thor to hold him. Thor did so and Loki laid his head down on Thor's shoulder.
"Guess we're all kinda like a family, huh Thor?" Loki commented. Thor looked around and saw the love, loyalty and courage shining through all of them. None of them had to help but all were willing to. That's something only family does for one another. Thor smiled fondly and kissed Loki's raven hair.
"I suppose we are family now," Thor said. Everyone (besides Clint) allowed a small smile, then began to plan the best way to speak with Odin. As they did so, elder-Loki slipped away and walked to the porch. He thought of Frigga and how he could never tell her he was sorry. That probably hurt the worst. Then he thought of how attached Loki was to him and how hard it would be for the boy to say good-bye and let go. That hurt too. Then there was Thor. Thor, who accepted him and allowed him back into his life despite all the hurt, was truly the best brother elder-Loki could have ever wanted. And now he was leaving him. Tears began to flow as he thought on these things, fear consuming him. As he cried, elder-Loki realized just how frightened he was. He quickly shook his head.
"No," he said in a whisper to himself, "no more. I won't be frightened any longer. This is my family and my fate. I will take this because it is right, not because of personal gain." Elder-Loki then wiped the tears away and reentered the building ready to change his fate.
Unfortunately friends, this is the last chapter I have complete so it will be a while before I update again. Sorry about that! I'd like to say thanks to all the feedback and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!