Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but on the bright side I do enjoy Go-Gurt

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but on the bright side I do enjoy Go-Gurt. I don't own Go-Gurt; I just enjoy it. And that's enough for me.

Author's Note: WARNING: Wolf Babies cannot be held responsible for any and all injuries you may receive while reading this story. This includes falling off of a chair in laughter or being shunned by your friends because you are laughing in the middle of a public place and no else gets the joke. Read at your own risk. Lol! XD

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Rosalie was walking through the park near the Cullen home, soaking in the day. She stopped to look at flowers and dance around in circles and such. Today was going to be an awesome day. She knew it.

And then she saw it-no, not it- him. A little baby boy with light brown curly hair and the cutest smile ever. Rosalie growled at the mother who had left such a precious gift unattended. Suddenly it struck her, take the baby.

Rosalie ran over lightning fast and grabbed the baby. And sprinted away back to the house.

"OH MY GOD! MY NEWBORN IS GONE!" The woman cried.

"Here you go, Lady." A former nurse at the hospital, where Carlisle worked, led Jasper, who happened to be doing yoga over to the woman. "Here's your newborn. I caught him this time."

Jasper looked at the woman. "You are NOT my mom!" He yelled and ran away trying to cry.

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Rosalie came through the front door and closed it swiftly.

"What cha got, Rose?" Emmett asked as he walked down the stairs.

"My baby." She stated proudly.

"You have a baby? You cheated on me?" Emmett fell to the floor whimpering.

"No, I stole him. And I will call him J.B. Cullen."

Edward walked into the room. "You are naming the kid Jacob Black Cullen? Poor kid. Has such a stupid name."

"No, his name is Jacob Bak(CENSORED) Cullen. And he's my little baby." She held him up.

"Jacob Bak(CENSORED) Cullen, nice. But you aren't thinking about keeping a human child here, right?"

"No." She held baby Jake out to Edward. "Bite him. It will be like practice for Bella."

"Can't fight with the logic." He bit the baby Jake, who screamed bloody murder. "He's all yours."

"Yay!" Rosalie yelled through the baby's screech.

At that moment, Carlisle and Esme got home. "What's going on?"

"I'm a mother!" Rosalie yelled.

"Esme," Carlisle looked at her. "I feel old."

"Well, you should. You're like 300 freaking years old. But I love you, you old pedophile."

"I love you too, you much younger than me woman who could potentially be my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-granddaughter." They began to make out.

"Eww…"Edward and Emmett covered their eyes. "Grandparent love."

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Author's Note: The baby is named after a kid in our school Jake B.. It's funny, well also have a Leah C. And they two of them perform in all the schools plays, so they're almost always togher.