Lol someone pointed out to me that it wasn't cool of me to have the girls kill their most popular couple, and gave me an interesting idea. This happened a while ago, but I decided why not? XD Hope you like it! Oh, and if you like Tadase... You probably shouldn't read this. XP

Cell Block Tango: Tadase Style?

A Parody

"And now, the six merry murderesses of the Seiyo Elementary Jail in their Rendition of the Cell Block Tango."

"Love." Red lights flashed on a honey-eyed woman with wild waist-length pink hair.

"Cute." A younger-looking girl with tawny brown pigtails and crazed caramel eyes threw herself at her cell's bars.

"Cross." Purple hair held back by a red flowered tie shined in the red light. A woman's brown eyes appeared out of the darkness.

"Well..." A teenager with salmon-pink hair grasped her containment's bars. Her brown eyes showed hesitance.

"Because." A woman with long and wavy blonde hair stood gently touched the doors of her cage. Her deer-like eyes looked completely innocent.

"Kid." A beautiful woman with long blonde hair in pigtails and confident violet eyes stood with her hands on her hips and most of her weight on her left leg.

"Love." Amu Hinamori smiled too-sweetly as she sang.

"Cute." Yaya Yuiki pulled herself closer to the cell's bars.

"Cross." Nadeshiko Fujisaki licked her lips.

"Well..." Rikka Hiiragi held the bars tighter.

"Because." Rima Mashiro cocked her head to the side adorably.

"Kid." Utau Hoshina Tsukiyomi leaned forward and grinned evilly.

"Love."

"Cute."

"Cross."

"Well..."

"Because."

"Kid."

"He had it coming," the girls sang together, dancing seductively but eerily behind the bars. "He had it coming. He only had himself to blame. If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it..."

"I bet that you would have done the same!" Utau soloed smugly. Utau stepped back as Amu walked forward from her cell.

"Tadase was a prince kind of guy. He was so cute that it blinded me. So I confessed to him. But he turned me down flat. So I dealt with it. And then he told me... That he loved a different version of me. Can you imagine how much that hurt me? It gets better. A month or two later, he comes to my house and claims that he loves me. So..." Amu smiled mischievously. "I showed him just how much love could hurt." Amu made a gun with her hand and shot at an invisible man.

Amu went to the side and danced a solo tango.

"He had it coming," the girls continued. "He had it coming. He only had himself to blame. If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it, I bet that you would have done the same!"

Suddenly, the scene froze and the girls stopped moving and singing. A tall man with sandy hair walked forward. He looked both ways before silently pulling a card out of his pocket. He turned the card over, showing the King of heart's face.

Tsukasa placed a finger over his lips and winked before walking away and disappearing into the darkness.

And thus Tadase came back to life.

The scene once again went into motion and Yaya slowly strode up through the dancing murderesses. "Tadase was really nice to Yaya most of the time. But when Yaya wanted to stand up and help him for once he made fun of her! And he tried to be more adorable than me with his sparkle attack!" Yaya smiled eerily. "So I made him a drink and showed him how deadly real cuteness can be!" Yaya coughed mockingly and joined Amu in her solo tango.

"He had it coming. He had it coming. He took a flower in its prime. And then he used it, and he abused it. It was a murder but not a crime!"

Once again, the scene froze like a video. Tsukasa walked up and glanced at Yaya who was frozen in place. He looked away and once again reached into his pocket. He pulled out another card, this time the King of clubs. He smiled and once again walked away.

And once again, Tadase was resurrected.

The song continued. Nadeshiko waltzed forward like the dancer she was and began her story. "I have a confession to make-I cross-dress sometimes. It's interesting to see the other gender's point of view. So I figured that I should probably tell Tadase, what with him being King and all. So I told him. And then he gave me a look." Nadeshiko frowned. "I didn't like that look. So I took my knife and decided to give him a little cross of his own." Nadeshiko drew a cross over her heart and smiled faintly.

Nadeshiko practically skipped off to join Amu and Yaya.

"If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it, I bet that you would have done the same!"

Again, the scene froze. Tsukasa walked on stage again. There was a slight undertone of discomfort in his expression, but he once again reached into his pocket and pulled out another card. The King of spades. He walked away once again.

And Tadase returned to life.

"He had it coming..."

Rikka slowly walked up to the front of the girls. She looked almost hesitant. "So Tadase was the King of the Guardians, and I was just about to become a Guardian. He was really awkward around Hikaru and was kinda funny, even if he was a little bit... feminine. And then after a while, he got a little bit overbearing..."

Nadeshiko cocked her head to the side. "Did you kill him?"

Rikka smiled guiltily and replied, "Well... A little bit."

She walked over to the other girls and danced a dance that couldn't be classified.

The scene froze. Tsukasa once again walked to center-stage and stopped there. He had a slightly weary aura around him. He picked another card: the King of diamonds. He walked back to where he came from without a sound.

Tadase came back from the dead.

Rima walked up to the center and stood calmly, looking like a porcelain doll. "Because he annoyed me." The girls all blinked at the blonde girl. She looked back at all of them. "That's it." The girls glanced at each other before shrugging and continuing to dance. Rima joined the rest of the girls, dancing the tango.

"He had it coming. He had it coming. He had it coming all along. I didn't do it, but if I'd done it, how could you tell me that I was wrong?"

The scene paused. Almost impatiently, Tsukasa walked onto the stage again. His face was stony. He pulled a card out of his pocket and flipped it. The Queen of hearts. He stormed away, obviously in a bad mood.

Tadase returned once again.

Utau strutted to center-stage like the star that she was. "Tadase and I used to be childhood friends. That's used to be, mind you. But the more I watched him grow up, the more I started to dislike him. 'Grew up' isn't even a proper term; he always acted like a little kid. And then he made me out to be the bad guy because I was maturing, unlike him!" She smiled evilly. "So I taught the kid a lesson about being an adult." She dragged her index finger across her neck threateningly. She strolled back to her friends and they began dancing once again.

"The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum! The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum! He had it coming. He had it coming. He had it coming all along. Because he used us, and he abused us. How could you tell us that we were wrong? He had it coming. He had it coming. He only had himself to blame. If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it, I bet that you would have done the same!"

The scene paused. Tsukasa staggered onto the stage. He looked exhausted. "I GIVE UP!" he yelled. He turned around again and left. Tadase stayed dead.

The girls slowly waltzed towards their cells, singing.

"How much love could hurt..." Amu said.

"Real cuteness..." Yaya exclaimed proudly.

"Cross of his own..." Nadeshiko murmured seductively.

"A little bit..." Rikka whispered quietly.

"That's it..." Rima stated nonchalantly.

"Being an adult..." Utau snickered.

"Love."

"Cute."

"Cross."

"Well..."

"Because."

"Kid."

The cell doors shut behind the murderesses.

Clang!

I know, I know, the part with Tsukasa was really weird. But I kinda figured that this was supposed to be pretty ridiculous and Tadase was gonna die six times, so... I just figured why not? XP So what do you think? Good, bad? Better than the first or worse? Review, fave, follow! Well, actually there probably isn't gonna be another chapter after this, so... XP