Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, not in the least
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, not in the least.
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Edward was lying out in the sun shimmering next to Bella. She was smiling and hugging his torso as securely as she could. It had been a perfect day. Everything was right, and nothing could go wrong. That was until…
A russet colored wolf came running into the yard where Bella and Edward were laying. The wolf growled at the sight.
"What do you want?" Edward asked, as he attempted to stare down Jake.
He growled in response. I just came to see if you wanted to buy some popcorn, but I see you're busy.
"I can't buy popcorn from a wolf. That's just weird." Bella laughed and pulled closer into Edward.
Fine. Jake transformed back into his human self, his naked human self, before the two-some.
"Ahhh!" Edward yelled, while letting go of Bella so he could cover his eyes. "It burns."
Bella on the other hand wasn't just looking; she was almost drooling as she stared at his chiseled abs.
"Bella, don't look!" Edward covered her eyes. "Jake, go get some clothing, please."
Jacob snorted and crossed his arms. "Fine." He replied annoyed and left to go dress himself.
"That may have been the scariest thing I have ever experienced in my entire afterlife." Edward shuttered. "Those werewolves seriously need to come up with some expandable clothing or something."
The two heard a giggled and then a small pixie girl appeared. "That's a great idea, Edward!" Alice danced around them.
"What?"
"Let's make some expandable clothing for the werewolves, so they aren't naked constantly." Alice jumped up with joy. "I'll design it…and Edward, you, Jasper, and Rosalie can model it. And Bella, you and Emmett can be in charge of advertising and sales. Oooo…I'm so excited." And with that said, Alice scurried off into the house.
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One week later, the entire Cullen family and Bella were surrounding the T.V. screen to see the world premier of their infomercial for their brand name clothing line; Expanded Wolf.
"Ooo…" Alice was bouncing next to Jasper. "I'm so excited."
"Hush." Esme spoke. "It's starting."
"Hi, I'm Alice Cullen." She waved and smiled widely. "And this is my little brother, Edward."
"Howdy." He saluted.
"We're here to tell you able our new clothing line; Expanded Wolf." Alice motioned to a rack full of clothing. "And now, you might be saying, 'Hmmm…expanded wolf, why would I want that?' Right, Edward."
He looked over to her, and gave her a thumbs up. "Right, Al."
"Well, Edward. Why don't you tell people why they need to buy?"
"Has this ever happened to you." Edward pointed at the screen. "You are sitting all nice and peaceful with your girlfriend and suddenly a werewolf appears."
"Oh, sounds kind of scary." Alice mocked some facial expression that could be considered fright.
"Yeah…And then you somehow make the werewolf mad, by telling him you are going to bite the girl he loves and turn her into a bloodsucking monster. Just an FYI, apparently that makes some people a tiny bit angry." Edward pinched his fingers together to represent tiny.
"That would make me a bit irritated." Alice said with a good-hearted smile.
"Whatever, Alice. Stop interrupting me." She looked down sadly. "So, you finally calm the beast down enough, and he changes back into a human. But low and behold, he is butt-naked. I tell you from experience it is an unpleasant sight."
"And that's where this clothing line comes in. For all those butt-naked werewolves out there, who can't seem to keep a pair of pants intact." Alice grabbed a pair of pants from the rack. "These pants are super stretchy and flexible. They mold to any body type and are perfect for the werewolf in your life. Let's see some of our models."
Out walked Rosalie and Jasper, wearing a complete Expanded Wolf outfit each. Rosalie modeled like she had done it her whole entire existence. While Jasper looked as if he was reenacting an army training regiment.
"See look at how they mold so nicely around the hips and thigh area." Alice rubbed her hand up and down Jasper. "And once the werewolf expands, so do the outfits." It then showed a clip of a pair of pants being stretched to incredible lengths.
"Edward." Alice went back to him. "He is also wearing one of our styles." He smiled and twitched. "Let's hear some customer testimonies."
The screen flipped to Jacob sitting in the Cullen living room. "Why the heck do I have to do this? These pants are so uncomfortable. I think they are giving me a wedgie." He began to fidget.
"Jake." Bella voice was heard, but her face was no seen. "Read the card."
Jacob looked at the screen and read the card with little to no emotion. "These are the best pants ever." He mouthed out quickly; 'Cullens suck.'.
The picture changed then to Emily sitting with Sam. They both were smiling awkwardly. Emily looked at Sam. "I bought my husband, Sam, these pants for Christmas. So he's not so naked all the time."
"And I love them…Kiss Emily." His eyes narrowed. "Oh, right." He leaned over and kissed her.
The screen cut back to Alice and Edward. "So you see these garments are really a sensational hit. They durable and very flattering, it's the perfect present for many mutant wolf/human on your holiday list. Our operators are standing by."
Once more the screen changed picture to show Emmett and Bella sitting in a room together with headsets on and about twelve phones lined up.
Emmett waved and mouthed out, 'Hi, Mom'. Bella just smiled and looked around, with an expression that only said, 'Oh god, get me the heck out of here.'.
Alice appeared again with Edward. "Just remember a naked werewolf is disgusting sight. So let's clean them up and make them dang stylish along the way." Alice flashed her smile and gave two big thumbs up. Edward followed her motion and the screen gently faded to black.
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Author's Note: This was inspired by the fact, my sister says she's read a couple fanfictions where the people forget that the werewolves are naked after they change back to human. She said in some stories, they change and then just keep talking. Ummm…That's kind of awkward, if you ask me, but whatever.