Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Or the Lion King. Or the song "You're Beautiful" or "The Monster Mash". Or Wander from the Host. Or Stephanie Meyer….
--
Edward shifted uncomfortably in the cushioned seat he was sitting in because of Alice's random obsession with musicals. She forced the entire family to come see the Lion King on Broadway. And to Edward, it was the most painful thing he'd ever had to sit through.
The show concluded and both Carlisle and Alice were excited. "OH MY GOD! That was amazing!" Alice said as she danced around her family.
"You're right, Alice." Carlisle started. "Musicals are awesome. Let's write one!"
She nodded and smiled widely.
Oh god. No. Was the only thought that passed through Edward's head.
--
Two weeks later the Cullen musical, 'I'm a Vampire. Yippee Skippy.', premiered.
Carlisle walked out on stage and began his song.
"I'm in London
Yes, lovely London
Holy Crap," He pointed across the stage to a group of people with super pale make-up.
"It's a group of vampires!
Ahhh…they're attacking me!" Carlisle was chased around the stage and then bit by one of vampires and left lying on the stage.
"I feel strange…
Different than before
I want blood
And I want it now!
Holy crap, I'm a vampire!" He held his last note for six straight hours before continuing to the next scene.
--
Carlisle mopped about the stage singing yet another solo.
"Lonely, I'm so lonely.
Incredibly lonely
Would you believe I'm lonely
But I'm a doctor, so I'll make friends"
--
The scene changed to Carlisle in his doctor coat and checking patients with the Spanish flu, when he feels the urge to sing a song to a seventeen-year-old boy.
(to the song, "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt)
"You're beautiful
You're beautiful
So true
I saw your face in a dying in place
And there was nothing I could do
Then I realized you could be a vampire too"
Carlisle bits Edward, the beautiful boy, and makes him a vampire. But Edward being a rebel tries to escape him.
--
Edward stood at the prop doorway and began his rebel song.
"I'm rebel
So I'm going to leave
Kay, bye."
Edward leaves. Carlisle falls to his knees.
--
Carlisle is then shown running down at the bottom of a ravine, lifting the body of a women. He bites her and they sing a duet to talk about it.
"I wanted to die, you jerk!" Esme sang in an almost screech.
"Nooooo!
I love you" Carlisle replied.
"Ok, I love you too, jerk." The two kiss and its true love.
--
The door opens, revealing Edward.
"I've returnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnned." Esme, even though she'd never met him before, hugged him.
--
Carlisle is running all over, when he spies a girl named Rosalie, lying half-dead on the ground.
He takes her home and bites her.
"I shall save you
You will be a vampire
Aren't you happy?"
Rosalie screeched in reply.
"I'll take that as a 'yes'." Carlisle broke out into a dance break.
Edward jumped in the dance break.
"Noooo, why her?
She'll ruin everything
Let her dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"
Carlisle and Edward danced around the room.
--
The scene switches to Rosalie walking in the woods, when she sees a man being mauled by a bear. She fights the bear and wins, claiming her prize, the unconscious man.
"Carlisle bite him." She commanded when she returned home.
"Where did you find him?" He asked, caused Rosalie to break out in song.
(To the song "Monster Mash" by Bobby Pickett)
"I was walking the woods late one night
When my eyes beheld a gorgeous sight
When a bear was began to arise
And suddenly to my surprise
He mauled his face
He mauled Emmett's face"
--
The musical was going on the three-hour mark when Edward decided he had had enough.
Alice and Jasper were mid-duet about their unconditional love for one another.
Edward leaned over to Bella backstage. "What to leave?"
She nodded. "But first. Let's destroy this place, so we never have to do this stupid musical again."
"I like your thinking."
Soon, with the help of Rosalie, Emmett, Jacob, Esme, Tanya, Mike, Eric, Rebecca, Rachael, Aro, Stephanie Meyer, Charlie, Billy, Phil, Seth, and Wander, they were able to come up with a plan to destroy the set.
They decided the pyromaniac approach would be both the fun-est and most efficient method.
And so, Phil poured lighter fluid all over the stage while Carlisle and Bella were singing their realizing their true love for one another song.
Rebecca lit and matches and once Bella and Carlisle were clear of the stage, everyone dropped their lit matches on the lighter fluid covered stage. Instantly engulfing it in flames and soon burning down the entire building.
"Bella," Edward looked at her. "Take a bow." She bowed with laugh.
--
Author's Note: We went to see the Lion King yesterday on Broadway. It was actually REALLY, REALLY good. I would suggest, if you can go see it, (and you like musicals) going to see it.