Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Or Or Fed-Ex Or the Bill Gates Biography.

Author's Note: We need to address a few issues… One, we do in fact love Twilight. We come up with jokes about it out of affection for it.

Two, we apologize if we at any time prior to this or in the future insult or offend anyone. We do not intend to intentionally offend someone. We are terribly sorry if we have in the past put anyone down or insulted someone. We're sorry.

I think that's everything for now. Again, we apologize if at anytime you have felt offended by anything in this story. We don't mean to hurt anyone. We're very sorry.

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Emmett typed quickly on the keys on the computer. He clicked and looked around searching for a card, a credit card to be exact. After stealing Carlisle's credit card recently, he decided to take someone who doesn't use their credit card, thus she wouldn't miss it.

The card read, 'Esme Cullen'. She never really left the house, so she never used her credit card. She wouldn't know.

Emmett looked at items that were on the screen. That's when Edward appeared, both to stop Emmett from doing something stupid and to party with Jasper for no reason. They just decided yesterday, that today was a good party day.

"Emmett, what are you doing now?" Edward put his hands on his hips.

"Edward, stop that!" Alice yelled from the stairs.

"What?" Edward pressed his hands tighter into his hips.

"Get your hands off of your hips! It makes you look like a girl!" Alice ran over and pulled his hands away from his body.

"Seriously, Edwarda, you really need to start acting like a guy! First off, stop having hissy fits over everything. It's not manly. Two, when Emmett says we should do something stupid, punch him in the face. It's much more manly. And three, stop using Rosalie's perfume. You smell like pansies."

"But I like pansies. And Bella thinks I smell good."

Alice rolled her eyes at him. "She also thinks Emmett smells good. And he smells like cardboard."

"Hey, just because I hang out at Fed-Ex with Jasper, doesn't mean you have to make fun of me for it!" Emmett tried to defend himself. "It's our super secret hide out for our super secret club, that girls and Edward can't join. So, ha!" He stuck his tongue out at her.

"You and Jasper are at Fed-Ex all the time because you're trying to figure out how you two can ship yourselves to China to play with panda bears."

"How did you know?" Emmett looked surprised. "Jasper spilled the beans didn't he? Darn him and his fabulous hair."

"One, what does his hair have to do with this? And two, he didn't tell me. I had a vision of the two of you rolling around and eating bamboo, which you both threw up, with pandas, so I just put two and two together and got China."

"Oh, so two plus two equals China. No wonder when I put six I got it wrong. OH MY GOSH! YOU CAN SEE THE FUTURE, ALICE?"

She nodded. "Emmett, I've always been able to see the future. Why are you so surprised?"

"I'm not I just felt like yelling something." Emmett turned back to the screen. He was on and was looking for some good deals on stuff to buy for his trip to China.

Edward put his hands on his hips once more. "Edward…" Alice growled as she drug him away to make a man out of him, whether he liked it or not.

Jasper walked into the room. "Emmett are you ready?"

"Yeah, I'm just ordering a Bill Gates biography, so that we can teach the pandas how to read. And then how to create a muti-billion dollar company! And then pandas will rule the world!"

"I have two words for you. Awe. Some."

The two readied themselves for the trip. The obtained the Bill Gates book and knew it was no or never. They went straight down to Fed-Ex express and boxed themselves in. Once they knew they were sealed up, they both waited for the pandas.

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They finally reached China and the pandas. It was then that Emmett and Jasper taught the pandas how to read and write. And though the pandas never succeeded in world domination. They did however take the world by storm with their software; PandaSoft.

And thus, I type this story tonight for you on Bear Word…(I've got nothing else…night).

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Author's Note: Sorry if that was bad. I just kind of made it up on the spot. Good Night.