Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight…WHY CRUEL WORLD
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight…WHY CRUEL WORLD? WHY? XD Or Kids Bop. Or My Little Pony (though I do own like 50 my little ponies) Or Viva Piñata. Or the songs: "Lying is the Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off" by Panic At the Disco, or "That's What Girls Do" by No Secrets.
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Emmett stared at the T.V. as he had gotten used to in the past couple months. He was excited by the flashing images that crossed his sight. He laughed and giggled as a My Little Pony commercial came on the screen.
"EDWARD! Your favorite commercial is on!" Emmett called him. Ever since Edward put his hands on his hips, his entire world had changed. His masculinity was all, but gone. And now he enjoyed sitting and watch the My Little Pony movie on a daily basis.
Alice had long ago given up hope on trying to salvage Edward's manly-ness. She decided to turn her attention back to Jasper, and try to break his habit of playing Viva Piñata like a religion. So far she had only succeeded in making him make her, a piñata that looked like her.
Edward skipped merrily down the stairs. He stopped at the T.V. were Emmett sat and watched intently as the ponies pranced across the screen. Emmett and Edward's head tilted back and forth with the song that played in the background.
The commercial ended. "That just gets better and better." Edward said. Emmett nodded in agreement.
The next commercial began, but it was it was soon realized by both it was more of an infomercial, than a commercial.
"Kids Bop 34. This has got all the hottest songs sang by kids. Just listen…" The commercial continued with some children singing in off-key unison.
"Oh my gosh!" Emmett looked and listened to the screen.
"Let's make a Cullen Bop!" Both Emmett and Edward said at the same time. Edward could already tell that he was turning into Emmett's twin. He blamed pandas for his loss of his masculinity, if Emmett hadn't wanted to go to China to play with pandas, he would have never put his hands on hips. And then Alice wouldn't have freaked out.
Why the heck couldn't she have had a vision of that to warn me? Edward thought bitterly, but then he remembered the ponies and smiled.
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Two weeks later and a ton of convincing to remove Jasper from playing Viva Piñata, plus even more convincing him that his piñata couldn't come with them, because it didn't exist, the Cullens and Bella were in the recording studio.
Carlisle and Esme were going to sing first, a duet. They choose "Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off" by Panic at the Disco, somehow the managed to make it a duet by breaking up.
Carlisle started first. "Is it still me that makes you sweat?"
Then Esme. " Am I who think about in bed?"
They completed their song in record time. Next up was Jasper, who told everyone he was working on a solo album anyway, so he'd just use one of his original songs.
He started by strumming a few chords on his guitar. Then he sang.
"I'm Jasper.
My name rhymes with Casper
My wife's name is Alice
She's prettier than a lattice"
Jasper went on for about twelve minutes straight without out stopping. Finally, Edward knocked on the glass window in front of Jasper, ending his song.
Alice, Rosalie, and Emmett sang next. Their song was pretty much Rosalie talking about how completely and utterly gorgeous she is. While Alice and Emmett made up something that sounded like backup, but at the same time, sounded like wounded bearcats.
The entire song was such a disaster; I won't even go into detail (A/N: And I don't want to write another song…anyway….). I will save you from the horror. You're welcome.
Bella looked over to Edward once they three-some were done performing. He nodded and they proceeded into the studio.
They readied themselves. Edward had chosen the song, he said it was a winner, and though Bella hadn't heard his song choice yet, she trusted him.
The music began playing; it was song Bella hadn't heard in so long.
"You picked 'That's What Girls Do"." He nodded and began to sing.
"You ask me why I change the color of my hair, yeah."
Bella replied. "You ask me why I need thirty-two pairs of shoes to wear."
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The CD went triple platinum in three weeks, due to Jasper telling all of his piñata friends to buy it. Apparently, piñatas like the way vampires sing. Go figure.
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Author's Note: That was bad, I can tell. I'm actually awake writing it. That's how I know it's bad.