Here we go! Sorry about the wait!
I watched as the police led Felix away. My expression was still calm, but I was numb. I couldn't understand how he did this...he came all the way here to have sex?
What the hell? Someone needs a life....
Rosalie was crying, Emmett wrapped her up tightly in his arms and just hugged her. It was nice to see him a little grown up.
Jasper had come with Emmett, freaking out. He attacked me with a violent hug as soon as he burst through the door. Now it seemed he wouldn't let me out of his
sight for at least one year.
Alice was here too. She'd come with Jasper, naturally. I realized that even a worried Alice was a freakishly hyper Alice. That was worrying...
"I want to watch Pirates of the Caribbean 3," I decided out loud. Everyone turned to look at me like I was insane. Ah well. I shrugged and went upstairs to my room
to get the movie.
I was looking through my 257 DVD's (all alphabetically organized) when Jasper came in my room.
"Bella, what the hell are you doing?" He asked me, sounding frustrated.
"Looking for the movie." I answered, not taking my eyes away from the shelf. If I looked away, I would lose my spot. And that would piss me off.
"Bella. Rosalie is down there freaking out, crying like mad. Emmett's upset because she's upset, and Alice is so worried about you she hasn't comented on anyone's
clothes. And now you're scaring me. How can you not care?" He very nearly shouted at me.
I grabbed the movie and turned to glare at him. "My boyfriend, the one I lived with for one year and left his family so he would come live with me and my family, almost
raped my friend and tried to force me to have sex with him. So yeah. I want to watch a movie because it's something I can do so I don't start crying and paniking and
being scared. Yeah Jasper, I want to watch a God-damned movie." I pushed passed him and bounded down the stairs. He stood there for at least a minute before
following me down with a sigh.
I put the movie on and sat on the couch, pulling my legs under me so I could sit cross -legged. Rosalie and Emmett exchanged a glance, and then slowly Rosalie sat
down next to me. And then everyone sat.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Are you sure you're fine, Bella?" Emmett asked me, Rosalie on his arm.
"I'm fine. Go. Go be a good boyfriend and make you girlfriend smile." I told him, Punching his shoulder lightly. Jasper had left to drive Alice home, after asking me if I was
sure I was fine....seventeen times.
I kissed Emmett's cheek goodbye and hugged Rose, Then they headed out. I sighed as soon as the door closed. It felt odd to be in an empty house. Even in France, I'd
almost always been with someone.
I layed down on the couch and closed my eyes. I was tired. I filled my head with scenes I liked from Pirates of the Caribbean, keeping my mind off images of him.
I must have fallen asleep, because when I opened my eyes again, I could hear strumming from an accoustic guitar upstairs. I got up and went to the only place it could be
coming from.
I knocked on Jasper's door and opened it a crack, sticking my head in to see what was going on.
Jasper was sitting on his bed, a deep frown on his face, as he strummed a giutar. After each try, he seemed to get more frustrated.
I walked in. "What are you doing?" I asked him, sitting next to him.
"You remember that song that dad used to play for us? It was french." I nodded. "He sang it to help us sleep. The chords were so...simple...before. So easy. It was a light melody...and
it was easy. But now that I want to remember it, I can't." He told me.
I smiled slightly and pried to guitar from his hands. I settled it on my lap and strummed it once before I started the chords and words.
"Pour un instant, j'ai oublié mon nom
Ça m'a permis enfin d'écrire cette chanson
Pour un instant, j'ai retourné mon miroir
Ça m'a permis enfin de mieux me voir
Sans m'arrêter, j'ai foncé dans le noir
Pris comme un loup qui n'a plus d'espoir
J'ai perdu mon temps à gagner du temps
J'ai besoin de me trouver une histoire à me conter
Pour un instant, j'ai respiré très fort
Ça m'a permis de visiter mon corps
Des inconnus vivent en roi chez moi
Moi qui avait accepté leurs lois
J'ai perdu mon temps...
Pour un instant, j'ai oublié mon nom
Ça m'a permis enfin d'écrire cette chanson"
I ended the song with a smile and looked at my brother while i finished the last few chords. Jasper smiled back at me.
"That's the one." He sighed. "Do you remember that other one? It was called...Father and Son, I think."
I laughed a little. "Oh yeah. I remember that. You loved it so much, and I was so annoyed because you always made Dad play that one!"
Jasper laughed at the memories. "True. But did you hear it enough that you remember it, even now?"
I smiled and started the song.
"Its not time to make a change,
Just relax, take it easy.
Youre still young, thats your fault,
Theres so much you have to know.
Find a girl, settle down,
If you want you can marry.
Look at me, I am old, but Im happy.
I was once like you are now, and I know that its not easy,
To be calm when youve found something going on.
But take your time, think a lot,
Why, think of everything youve got.
For you will still be here tomorrow, but your dreams may not."
Jasper smiled and started the second part.
"How can I try to explain, when I do he turns away again.
Its always been the same, same old story.
From the moment I could talk I was ordered to listen.
Now theres a way and I know that I have to go away.
I know I have to go."
I nodded and continued with the Father part of the piece.
"Its not time to make a change,
Just sit down, take it slowly.
Youre still young, thats your fault,
Theres so much you have to go through.
Find a girl, settle down,
If you want you can marry.
Look at me, I am old, but Im happy."
(Jasper-- away away away, I know I have to
Make this decision alone - no")
Jasper finished the little song.
All the times that I cried, keeping all the things I knew inside,
Its hard, but its harder to ignore it.
If they were right, Id agree, but its them you know not me.
Now theres a way and I know that I have to go away.
I know I have to go."
(Bella-- "stay stay stay, why must you go and
Make this decision alone?" )
"I can't believe you still remember that song!" Jasper laughed. I smiled and gave him back his guitar.
"Bella." Jasper said seriously. I knew what he wanted.
"It feels like everyone is moving so fast and I just can't follow. It's like I'm standing still, and everyone else is running. But no matter how hard I try, I
just can't move to go with them." I told him quietly. "Is this supposed to happen? I everything good I have just going to always be taken from me?" I
asked, tears leaking from my eyes.
Jasper put his guitar down and hugged me. I gripped his arm with both my hands and squeezed my eyes shut, the tears still falling.
"Not everything you have is being taken from you, Bells. I'm still here, and I'm not going anywhere. You have Emmett, who would give anything for
you in a heartbeat. And Esme and Carlisle. And now you have Rose and Alice. These are good, Bella. There will always be good and bad things
you have to go through in life. Felix was just one of the bad ones." Jasper told me softly.
I nodded and got up to go to bed. Jasper kissed my forehead and let me borrow his sweater. I smiled at him and went in my room, trying to focus
on the good things.
When I was all set for bed, I found myself kneeling beside my bed, my elbows on the conforter, my fingers laced and the knuckles of my thumbs resting
against my forehead.
"Hey, mum, dad." I whispered. "I miss you so much. Everyday. And Felix just turned out to be possibly the worst person on earth. So I need you to
protect me. I need you to help me make better choices." I thought a bit before continuing. "Jaskper and I sang today. Those songs you used to sing
to us, remember, dad? It was just like when we were little, except I had the guitar. I hope you heard us. It's good, I think. I think that now that Felix is
gone I can be totaly happy, right? I have to be." I sighed. "Anyway. I miss you. I don't think I'll ever stop missing you. So...just keep loving me, okay?
I don't think I can get by this if you don't love me. Okay, that's all. Bye."
Edward will be in the nest chapter I promise!!
~~Luvyas!!