Someone was shouting. Or rather, it sounded like shouting. His poor head wasn't really coping with any noise at all, and he was actually starting to feel a little queasy. Over the top of the shouting, though, Ianto heard another voice, whispering gently to him and soothing his mind. He tried to make sense of the new voice, but if it was actually words, then it was unlike any words he had ever heard. The voice was female in tone, though, so he made the logical assumption that it was Rose.

As slowly came back to consciousness, however reluctantly, he became aware of two things. The voice was both receding into the background, and it seemed to be changing into something he could understand. It was as he was just on the cusp of awareness that he finally heard two words that he understood – at least in that they were in English...

Bad Wolf...

Ianto groaned aloud, uttering those two words almost as if he was on automatic. Silence met his statement, and he was starting to wonder if he was, in fact, going mad. Then, a familiar face appeared above his own.

"Doctor...?" Ianto mumbled. A pleased grin lit up the Time Lord's face.

"Welcome back, Ianto. You gave everyone quite a nasty fright."

Slowly, the memories came creeping back.

"I was shot... wasn't I...?"

"In the side, yes. Although, I dare say that had it not been for Jack's quick actions, it might have been lights out altogether. That UNIT sniper wasn't aiming at Jack. He was aiming at you."

Ianto felt sick.

"Me...?"

"It seems that Jack saw the targeting light of a sniper rifle on you, recognised it for what it was, and pushed you out of the way. But either there was a second sniper, or the first was quick to get off a second shot, in order to take Jack down as well."

"UNIT," Ianto said bitterly. "It was UNIT."

It was a statement; not a question, and the Doctor didn't try to deny it.

"Yes, Mr Adams said he recognised the red caps." He leaned in a little, rather conspiratorially. "Not to worry, though. They won't be causing you trouble for much longer."

"How can you promise that?" Ianto asked incredulously. "They tried to kill me! They did kill Jack! Clearly, despite your apparent association with UNIT, they don't accept that Jack is your responsibility! Somehow, Doctor, I don't think you have quite as much influence with them as you might have had in previous years."

Discomfort crossed the Doctor's face.

"That may be true, but we do have another option."

Ianto couldn't help but wonder whether he had some degree of concussion. Perhaps he'd hit his head when he collapsed...?

"Options?" he asked incredulously. "What other options?"

The grin that lit up the Doctor's face had Ianto wanting to slap him.

"When you're ready, we're going to take one more trip to Earth, and visit a good friend of mine."

Ianto frowned, not especially appeased by the Doctor's enthusiasm.

"Who?"

"Oh, I think I'll leave that as a surprise," the Doctor enthused. Ianto contemplated arguing with him, but immediately dismissed the idea. If the Time Lord didn't want to tell him, then badgering for an answer would only be a pointless waste of energy.

"Where is Jack?" he asked instead. "Is he all right?"

The self-satisfied grin on the Doctor's face faded.

"He was a little upset, at first..."

Ianto's eyebrows shot up.

"A little? Only a little?"

"He didn't become hysterical, if that's what you're thinking," the Doctor assured him. "Don't misunderstand me, Ianto. He was distraught, and very frightened, but he controlled his fear. After you collapsed, he picked you up and brought you straight here to the med room. He used his t-shirt as a compress, and kept pressure on your wound while the TARDIS scanned you to assess the damage. The wound itself was easily repaired, and there was no actual bullet to remove, but you had lost a lot of blood in a very short time. Jack offered his blood for you, Ianto."

"He what...?"

"Jack knew you needed blood. He wanted me to use his to save you. I asked him why, and he looked at me like I was an idiot and said because he loved you and he knew you'd do it for him."

"I would," Ianto whispered, tears stinging his eyes. The Doctor smiled fondly at the young man.

"As it turned out, it wasn't necessary. The TARDIS was able to take care of all that. Couldn't shift him from your side, though. He sat here for a straight twenty hours, holding your hand and talking to you. Only managed to convince him to go and get some rest in the end by promising I'd stay here with you." The Doctor paused, pondering that. "He was insistent, actually. Wouldn't listen to Rose or Gage. He wanted me to stay with you, so here I am!"

"Who was in here with you when I woke up?" Ianto asked tiredly. He suspected he wouldn't be able to stay away for much longer, but if someone else had been there then they had probably gone to get Jack. He really wanted to at least stay awake long enough to let Jack know he was going to fine.

"That was Gage," the Doctor replied in a guarded manner that piqued Ianto's curiosity.

"You were arguing with him."

Again, it was a statement rather than a question, and the Doctor suddenly looked uncomfortable.

"Yes, well, we had a slight difference of opinion. Nothing to worry about, though."

"And what about Rose?" Ianto asked, too exhausted to be truly annoyed by the Doctor's refusal to properly answer him. "Was that a difference of opinion, too?"

The Doctor paused, staring down at Ianto with a piercing gaze.

"Rose wasn't in here, Ianto. Why would you think she was?"

"I could hear her," Ianto grumbled. "Sounded like she was talking in a different language... some sort of gibberish, really... Although, it was much more pleasant to listen to than you and Gage having it out."

A wry smile turned up the corners of the Doctor's lips.

"I think, Mr Jones, that what you heard was the TARDIS, and she was probably trying to soothe you a little."

"What's Bad Wolf?" Ianto wondered, abruptly remembering the last words whispered to him before he fully woke up. The Doctor seemed to freeze, and Ianto fancied that he looked almost panicked. The look was gone in the space of a few seconds, though, and the Time Lord shook his head.

"Just something from the past. Nothing for you to worry about, I promise. Now, I do believe that the TARDIS has let Jack know you're awake, so..."

As if on cue, the door slid open, and Jack charged in.

"Yan! You're okay!"

Ianto braced himself for Jack to practically pounce on him, and was both relieved and astonished when Jack instead sat down on the edge of the bed with exaggerated care and clasped Ianto's hand in his own. Tears of joy and relief glistened in his eyes as he looked Ianto over.

"I was so scared," he admitted, his voice hitching a little with emotion. "You were hurt and bleeding, and I was so scared you were going to die. I don't ever want you to die, Yan. I love you."

Ianto sighed and drew Jack into his embrace as Jack broke down into heavy sobs.

"It's okay, cariad. I'm all right, and I'm not going anywhere. I love you, too."

He looked at the Doctor over the top of Jack's hunched and trembling form. The Time Lord watched the two of them with a melancholy sort of a smile before turning and slipping out in silence.

"I'm sorry," Jack sobbed into his shoulder. "Sorry, Yan. I'm sorry."

"Hey," Ianto murmured, rubbing his back soothingly. "What are you sorry for, you silly goose? This wasn't your fault."

"But it is," Jack argued miserably. "It's all my fault. Everything is my fault. It's all because of me."

"Did someone else tell you that?" Ianto asked with growing suspicion. "Because if they did..."

"I talked to the Doctor," Jack said softly. Ianto felt his stomach lurch unpleasantly. It was quickly followed by a hot anger.

"He didn't tell you it was your fault, did he? Because if he did..."

"No," Jack whimpered. "Doctor told me I was good. He said I saved your life by pushing you out of the way."

"You did," Ianto agreed, feeling somewhat placated. "I might have been k... hurt a lot worse if you hadn't done that."

To Ianto's dismay, Jack didn't look comforted by the reassurance. Jack pulled away from Ianto a little, and the young man saw something more in Jack's eyes than the usual child-like distress. He saw a very real, palpable fear in the other man's eyes.

"The bad people want to hurt you because of me. If you left me..."

A chill raced down Ianto's spine.

"Jack, don't..."

Jack shook his head wildly, silencing Ianto.

"If you left, they wouldn't have a reason to hurt you anymore. Right?"

Ianto felt something heavy and leaden sitting right in the pit of his stomach.

"Jack, love, what are you trying to say?"

Tears spilled down Jack's cheeks.

"I think I know why you don't want to stay with me. I'm dangerous... aren't I?"

Ianto opened his mouth to protest, but Jack cut him off, and spoke in a tremulous voice.

"It's okay, Yan. I... I understand now. You don't h... have to st... stay with me. I w... won't make you s... stay."

He broke down again, crying helplessly, and it took a moment for Ianto to realise that Jack was not the only one shedding tears.

"Jack... C'mon, Jack, look at me. Look at me, cariad."

Slowly, Jack looked up at him, and as soon as their eyes met, Ianto leaned forward and kissed Jack gently on the lips. His exhaustion and the lingering pain of his injury was, if not necessarily forgotten, pushed to the back of his mind as he tried to keeps Jack's focus on him. He let the kiss linger for a moment before withdrawing, and by then Jack's attention was on him completely.

"Are you listening to me, Jack? Good. Now, my getting hurt was not your fault, not one little bit. The whole truth is that it's because of you that I'm still alive. If I had never met you... if I hadn't gotten that promotion to Secure Archives... then I probably would have been killed along with everyone else when the Cybermen invaded. It's because of you that I'm still here, and still alive, and don't you ever let anyone tell you differently. And as for me wanting to leave because you're dangerous, well that is just rubbish. It's got nothing to do with it, and it isn't that I wanted to leave you, either. I don't want to leave you at all."

"Then why do you keep saying you can't stay with me?" Jack asked plaintively. Ianto sighed, and decided that it was time to lose the kid gloves, and be honest with Jack.

"One day, I am going to die, Jack. It might be tomorrow, or it might be fifty or sixty years from now. I don't know. The only certainty is that I will die." He reached up to cup Jack's tear-stained cheek tenderly. "Cariad, you won't. You'd been alive for a long time before I was even born, and you'll live on long after I'm gone. I thought it would be better for me to leave sooner rather than later, because I thought it would hurt you less than having to watch me die. I was wrong. I can see now that it'll hurt you badly to lose me, no matter how or when it happens. There's nothing I can do to spare you from that, so really the best thing I can do... for the both of us... is to give us as much time together as possible, and for us to make the most of it."

Jack stared at Ianto for so long that he was starting to wonder whether he'd tried to say too much, and that his words had not been comprehended. His fears were allayed when Jack spoke up in a hopeful whisper.

"You... You're not going to go away?"

"No," Ianto assured him. "Not until death takes that choice out of my hands. I promise you that much, at least."

"I promise, too," Jack said as he wiped at his swollen eyes. "I'm never going to leave you, Yan Toe. I love you."

Ianto smiled wearily, quietly conscious that they had just exchanged the equivalent of marriage vows. Till death do they part. Lord, wouldn't his father just love that.

He came back from his musings to realise that Jack was sporting a worried look on his face, and chewing nervously on his lower lip. It was an adorable expression, but it also set alarm bells off in Ianto's mind. The last time he'd seen that look on Jack's face, it had been just before discovering that Jack had tried to help Jackie out by doing the laundry. It had been a disaster to rival the Cyberman invasion.

"Jack? What's wrong?"

Much to Ianto's concern, Jack would no longer meet his gaze.

"I did something bad. I have to tell you, because Rose said it's important to tell the truth when you've done something wrong. But I'm scared that if I tell you, then you'll want to leave me after all."

"Hey, I promised, didn't I?" Ianto reminded him gently. At the same time, his mind was awhirl as he tried to think of what Jack might possibly need to confess, that had him this worried. And as he thought, a memory came to him unbidden; hiding around a corner with Rose, watching as a terrified Jack directed the Cybermen to where Lisa was hiding.

Ianto suppressed a shudder. Jack had betrayed Lisa to the Cybermen. He was positive that he hadn't misinterpreted what he'd seen. Was that what Jack intended on confessing now? If so, he knew he was hardly in the position to stand in judgement over him for it. Even so, he couldn't stop himself from thinking that but for Jack, Lisa would not have had to suffer such a dreadful death...

"I kissed Luke," Jack abruptly. Ianto gaped at him, caught off-guard by the unexpected statement, and all thoughts of Lisa washed momentarily out of his mind.

"You... You kissed him? When?"

"When I showed him our room," Jack admitted meekly. "I told him I love him, and he said he loved me, and I hugged him and kissed him. He didn't like it and he ran out. Then Rose came, and I told her, and she said I wasn't supposed to kiss Luke the same as I kiss grown-ups. She showed me how to kiss Luke on the cheek so it doesn't upset him."

Ianto's eyebrows shot up again.

"She showed you? Did she show you anything else?"

Briefly, Jack's face lit up with a big, almost salacious grin that gave Ianto a momentary glimpse at the man that was hidden behind the childish facade.

"She showed me how grown-ups kiss, like I saw on the TV at Jackie's home."

Ianto honestly didn't know whether to be amused or angry.

"And what did you think?"

"I liked it," Jack said enthusiastically. "Rose tastes nice. Can we kiss like that, too?"

It took some effort to keep his voice even.

"Maybe. Jack..."

"But then Gage came in," Jack went on, and his face fell. "He took Rose out, and when he came back in, I showed him what happened after Rose kissed me, and I think he was mad."

Ianto was positive that if his eyebrows went any higher, they'd reach his hairline.

"Jack, what happened after Rose kissed you?"

Jack hesitated, and then pointed awkwardly to his crotch.

"I got bigger!"

The urge to laugh hysterically bubbled up inside Ianto, and he nearly gagged in his effort to suppress it.

"You did, did you?"

Jack nodded, and suddenly he looked as though he was going to cry again.

"Gage told me I had to have a cold shower. Does that mean it was a bad thing?"

And suddenly, Jack's earlier hysterics at his parents' home made painful sense. Gage, he suspected, had probably not stopped to think about what he was saying when talking about a cold shower. In fact, Ianto supposed he couldn't blame the poor bloke at all for being flustered, being faced with child-like Jack with an erection. It would have been like trying to explain sex to a five year-old.

Despite initial reservations, he felt that Rose had done the right thing to show Jack that certain displays of affection weren't appropriate with kids like Luke. It was just unfortunate that Gage had been left to deal with the consequences of that little practical lesson.

"No, Jack, it wasn't a bad thing. Gage wasn't mad at you, either. He just didn't think it through properly."

"But he said I had to..."

"I know, I know." Ianto decided to plunge forward and just continue being direct. "Jack, what you had was an erection. It happens to every man. When you become aroused... or excited... blood flows into your penis and makes it bigger and harder. That's called an erection."

Jack frowned, seemingly oblivious to the deep shade of red that Ianto's face had gone.

"Rose excited me?"

Ianto shut his eyes briefly, trying to regain some degree of composure. He hoped to God that the Doctor never got wind of this particular conversation. Even he knew there was far more than just simple friendship between Rose and the Doctor.

"Yes, Jack. I suppose you could say that."

"Oh. So... what am I supposed to do with it?"

Ianto wanted to crawl under the bedcovers, and hide. How he had worked himself into a corner like this, he really had no idea.

"That depends, Jack. It depends on who you're with, and whether they're as excited by you, as you are by them. If they are, and you're both consenting adults, then it will probably end with you having sex. And please, don't ask me to explain sex to you yet, because I'm not sure that I'm ready to deal with that topic."

Jack nodded, wide-eyed.

"Okay, Yan. But... why did Gage said I needed a cold shower?"

"Because, love, a cold shower is a fairly standard way of getting rid of an unwanted erection. Gage wasn't angry at you, and he wasn't trying to be mean. I think he just wasn't thinking when he said it."

The relief in Jack's face was palpable as it dawned on him that no one was mad at him after all.

"So... I wasn't bad?"

Ianto smiled, and leaned in to kiss Jack lightly on the forehead.

"No, Jack. You weren't bad." He leaned back, and shuffled over to make room in the bed for Jack. The immortal uttered a happy noise and lay down beside Ianto, although taking care not to jostle Ianto and hurt him in any way. Ianto slid his arms around Jack, smiling to himself at the way they seemed to fit together so neatly.

"Love you, Yan," Jack mumbled, burying his face in the crook of Ianto's shoulder. Ianto stroked his hand up and down Jack's arm.

"I love you, too, Jack."

And for the first time since that fateful day of his promotion to Secure Archives, Ianto felt completely at peace with himself, and his choices.

to be continued...