Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight…Or Pat the Bunny

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight…Or Pat the Bunny. Or Simba.

Author's Note: This was inspired by the book, Pat the Bunny and the Lion King.

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Emmett pushed his way through the door to his and Rosalie's room. She was sitting staring at herself, as she did daily. Her and Jacob would make a perfect couple, they're both in love with themselves.

"ROSALIE!" Emmett yelled.

"I'm so pretty…Oh so pretty. What's that?" She leaned her ear closer to the mirror she was looking in. "I'm gorgeous…what was that?" She leaned farther. "I'm as obsessed with myself as Jacob Black." Insulted, Rosalie took her comb and smashed the mirror.

"That's the last time you tell me I'm like Shark Boy." She kicked the pieces of the mirror on the floor. "What do you want, Emmett?"

"I wrote a children's book!" He smiled holding out a book made of printer paper and tied together with some ribbon that was fringed at the ends.

"That's nice." She looked around. "Do you think I can steal Edward's mirror? I haven't seen myself in four seconds. I miss me." She frowned.

"Can you read it to me, Rose?" Emmett was begging her.

"Shouldn't you know what it says? You wrote it."

"Jasper and Alice edited for me, so they may have changed some things." He fell to his knees, holding his hands together. "Please, Rosalie!"

"Alright." She glanced about the room once more. "You need to get me a mirror first."

He nodded, leaving the room. Returning with the mirror from Edward's room.

"Should I put it here?" Emmett set it down, so Rosalie could stare at herself.

"Perfect. Now, let's see." She gazed over the cover. It was a poorly drawn picture of what looked like a bunny. The front read, Simba the Bunny By: Emet Culen Edited: By Jasper and Alice Illustrations by: Edward Cullen.

"Emmett, you spelled your name wrong." Emmett waved it off.

"Just read it."

"First you have to tell me what the heck this is on the cover." She pointed to the blob on the front. "I think it's either a pack of wildebeests or a water buffalo."

"It's a bunny. Edward just can't draw to save his life. Now on with the story."

She rolled her eyes at her husband and began. "Look, it's a bunny named Simba." A poorly drawn bunny/zebra was on the page. Note to self, never let Edward draw again…for forever. "Watch Simba hop."

"And look, there's a vampire named Emmett." Rosalie looked at the stick figure that was supposed to Emmett, but looked more like a moose. Never again.

She flipped the page. "Emmett can bite the bunny. Can you bite the bunny?" There was a sketch of the Emmett/moose biting into the bunny/zebra. Though it was hard to tell with all the red on the page. "Emmett, I hardly see this fit for kids."

"Of course, kids will love it. It's got bunnies."

"Bunnies that get the blood sucked out of them by vampires."

"Kids should be prepared at a young age for what might happen. 'Cause let's say some kid reads this book, then years later Jasper loses his mind and mauls the kid. Well then the kid would have known that he was not alone when he got mauled. Simba the bunny got mauled too. Thus it's ok for Jasper to maul children." Emmett finished his last sentence with a grin on his face.

"Emmett, what the heck are you on?" She paused. "'Cause I want some."

"Sure, but later. Can we finish the book?" She nodded.

She found her place and started to read again. "But Emmett didn't drink all of the bunny's blood. So the bunny was alright." There was another horribly drawn drawing of what looked like to cougars fighting over a bagel, but Rosalie assumed it was the bunny and Emmett.

"Simba became a bloodthirsty monster. Are you a bloodthirsty monster?" The picture was that of Simba the bunny/zebra devouring what looked like Jacob. " Emmett looked happily upon his new friend and from then on, they were best friends." The drawing was the Emmett/moose and Simba the bunny/zebra hugging in what was supposed to be a heart, but Edward drew an octagon instead.

"And then Simba and Emmett terrorized the local town, by overthrowing the town mayor, and taking over. They then, raised taxes and made everyone celebrate national Jasper Whitlock Day."

"SEE! I TOLD YOU JASPER AND ALICE CHANGED SOMETHING!" Emmett grew very angry at the final sentence of his story.

"What did they change, Emmett?" Rosalie asked as she tried to get a good look at herself in the mirror. She had gone about ten minutes without looking at herself. The withdrawal was killing her.

"It was supposed to be national rice pudding day." Emmett sobbed for the loss of his rice pudding.

"It's alright. I'm still gorgeous." She stood and got close to Edward's mirror. Smiling at herself she asked. "Mirror, mirror from Edward's wall. Whose the vainest of them all?"

The mirror replied. "Jacob Black."

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Author's Note: I'm going all Disney right now…