"For the last time, Jack, will you stop pulling at that!"
Jack's hands dropped immediately to his sides, but Ianto could see his fingers twitching, just itching to start fiddling with the offending item.
"Now, just leave it alone," Ianto told him sternly. Jack's face screwed up into a frown.
"But I don't like it! Why do I have to wear it?"
"Because the Doctor is taking us to meet someone," Ianto explained, "and we want to make a good impression. You might not like wearing a tie, love, but it's important that you look your best. Okay?"
The frown didn't diminish in the slightest.
"Who are we meeting?"
"I don't know," Ianto admitted. "Just someone that the Doctor thinks will be able to help protect you from UNIT."
"And you too," Jack insisted, his eyes widening with borderline panic. "You too, right, Yan?"
"Yes, me too," Ianto reassured him, and Jack looked appeased for the moment. Ianto started to adjust his own tie, and so it took him a moment to realise that Jack's hands were once more creeping back up towards the offending apparel. Resisting a nearly overwhelming urge to slap Jack's hands away, Ianto instead reached out and pushed them down gently.
"Jack, please. Do this for me, just this once, and I'll never make you wear a tie again, I promise."
Jack pouted, but dropped his hands obediently back to his sides.
"Okay. Yan, where's Gage?"
"I don't know," Ianto murmured, trying hard not to feel too concerned at his friend's absence. The truth was, it was two days since he'd first woken up after being shot, and he had not seen Gage once. Granted, the TARDIS was an awfully big ship, but he hadn't thought the other man could have kept completely out of sight for so long. He just hoped Gage wasn't beating himself up too badly over what had happened with Jack. It really was no one's fault.
His concerns faded as he checked his own appearance in a full length mirror. The charcoal grey suit he wore was a little bland for his own personal tastes, but he'd opted to wear it instead of the black, pin-striped suit he'd originally chosen mainly because of Jack's reaction. Jack had, with all the subtlety of a brick, declared the grey suit to be boring, whilst the pin-striped one had resulted in Jack asking a little too eagerly if they could try the grown-up kissing now.
Ianto had decided to opt to discretion, and chose the 'boring suit' in the hopes of avoiding any embarrassing displays. The last thing he needed was for Jack to get… excited whilst they were meeting with the Doctor's mysterious friend.
Finishing his own personal adjustments, Ianto turned back to find Jack was gone, and his suit jacket abandoned.
"Jack?" Ianto turned around in growing frustration, searching for his errant charge. "Jack, where have you gone?"
Movement behind him prompted him to turn, and Jack appeared from out of the multitudes of clothing racks, wearing a light brown, fitted leather jacket that clashed spectacularly with the rest of his attire. A bright grin adorned his face, and he looked thoroughly pleased with himself.
"Look what I found! Can I wear it, Yan? Please?"
Ianto wanted to groan.
"Not this time, Jack. Maybe next time. This time, can you please just wear the clothes I picked for you?"
Jack's face fell, and Ianto felt like he'd just kicked a puppy.
"Listen, how about we compromise?"
Jack's face creased into a frown.
"That's where you agree to something I want, and I agree to something you want. Right?"
Ianto smiled, pleased. Jack's understanding of the word may have only been rudimentary, but he did at least understand.
"That's right. Now, you already know what I want."
Jack didn't speak, but mournfully removed the leather jacket and put on the suit jacket instead. To reward him, Ianto stepped in close and captured Jack's lips in a chaste, but lingering kiss.
"Thankyou, love. Now, you tell me what you'd like me to agree to."
His smile widened a little as Jack's screwed up adorably.
"I think I'd like..."
"Yes?" Ianto prompted him. Jack opened his eyes and looked at him shyly.
"I'd like it if you kissed me."
Ianto felt a strange flutter go through him that he couldn't quite identify. He supposed he should have anticipated such a request, and he was bemused to realise that the idea of properly snogging another bloke didn't make him anywhere near as uncomfortable as he thought it might have. He found himself agreeing, and not just for the purpose of keeping to the spirit of their compromise.
"All right, Jack. If that's what you really want."
Jack grinned and stepped towards Ianto eagerly, only to be halted in his tracks by Ianto's hands on his chest.
"But not yet. That is something for when we come back to the TARDIS afterwards."
Jack looked momentarily disappointed, but the expression quickly shifted as new understanding dawned.
"You mean, in case I get excited again?"
Ianto nearly choked. He once again got that unsettling feeling that he was very steadily digging himself into a very deep hole, with no obvious way out.
"That's one reason, yes," he conceded. "C'mon, now. The Doctor and Rose will be waiting."
The Doctor's eyebrows rose when Jack and Ianto emerged into the control room, and an amused grin lit up his face.
"I'm impressed. You both look good, and you don't even know who it is that we're meeting with."
"All the more reason to look our best," Ianto reasoned. "Jack, stop fiddling with that tie!"
"It's too tight," Jack whined, although he obediently dropped his hands. Ianto huffed, but consented and loosened the knot a little.
"There. Better?"
Jack nodded, pacified.
"Do you mind me asking how you managed to convince him to wear a suit?" the Doctor wondered. Much to Ianto's mortification, Jack spoke up enthusiastically.
"We compromised! I said I'll wear these clothes, and when we come back, Yan is going to kiss me!"
"Is he?" the Doctor murmured, not even trying to hide a smirk at the vibrant shade of red that Ianto had turned.
"A proper, grown-up kiss," Jack clarified with utter seriousness. Ianto's blush deepened, and the Doctor's smirk blossomed into a full-blown grin.
"Well, you're very lucky then, aren't you?"
Looking thoroughly pleased with himself, Jack wandered off to the other side of the control room.
"Please," Ianto begged once he was sure that Jack was not paying them any attention. "Don't encourage him. This is awkward enough as it is. I already feel like I'm taking advantage of him."
The Doctor chuckled fondly and shook his head.
"You're not, Ianto. I promise you that. All of this? It's positively tame for the Jack Harkness I knew."
Ianto, however, was not appeased.
"But that's the point, isn't it? This man isn't the Jack Harkness that you knew. He's a different person. This person that we have here and now is really only a child, and I don't want to do anything that's going to damage him mentally or emotionally. He isn't ready to deal with adult concepts like sex!"
The Doctor regarded him quizzically with a penetrating stare.
"He's not, or you're not? Because from what I've see so far, Jack is coping just fine with the way his body is waking up sexually. All he needs is someone who isn't afraid to show him the way."
"Then why don't you do it?" Ianto grumbled sourly, irritated that the Doctor wasn't seeing the issue from his perspective. Abruptly, the Time Lord's expression turned sombre.
"Not a good idea. Believe me, it's really not."
Ianto couldn't resist taking a shot.
"Why? Because you can't stand to be that close to him?"
"I'm working on that," the Doctor said, a touch defensively. "But that isn't what I meant. I love Jack. I will always love him, but I could never satisfy him sexually. Even if I were to give that part of myself to him, he'd know it was a lie. He deserves better. You and I both know that, Ianto."
"So where does that leave me?" Ianto wondered. The Doctor smiled in sympathy.
"You love him, don't you?"
"Well, yes, but…"
"He already loves you wholeheartedly, Ianto. He's just waiting for you to get over your twenty-first century hang-ups, and catch up. Even if you're still trying to come to terms with how you feel."
Ianto bristled a little.
"You really think it matters to me that we're both men? It doesn't. What matters to me is that I don't mislead Jack. I know he loves me. I just don't know if I love him in the same way."
"Then why did you promise to kiss him in return for him wearing that suit?"
Ianto couldn't answer, and was saved from having to try by Jack rejoining them.
"Are we going yet? This is boring."
"Yes, Jack," the Doctor reassured him. "As soon as Rose gets here, we'll go."
Jack frowned a little.
"And Gage. Don't forget Gage."
There was no mistaking it that time. The Doctor flinched.
"Gage decided not to join us," the Doctor answered with a discomfort that only Ianto saw. "And here is Rose, so we can go now!"
"What are you hiding?" Ianto asked in a whisper as they headed for the door.
"Not now," the Doctor warned him. "Let's do this, and I'll explain later."
Ianto was less than thrilled, but he knew it would benefit no one to make a fuss. Most of all, he wanted to avoid Jack getting into any sort of a state. Glaring briefly at the Doctor, he took the hand that Jack was holding out to him expectantly and followed Rose out of the TARDIS.
The brightness of the sun had Ianto pausing to blink hard before his eyes managed to focus on their surroundings. It took a moment to register their location, and when it did, Ianto uttered a strangled gasp of shock.
"This is Buckingham Palace!"
"Very good, Ianto," the Doctor said with a grin. Ianto whirled to face him in borderline panic.
"What are we doing here? UNIT will know!"
"Calm down," the Doctor told him firmly. "There's nothing to worry about. I called ahead… well, so to speak… and made arrangements. We're expected, and neither UNIT nor anyone else with an unhealthy interest in Jack will be allowed anywhere near us. My friend promised."
Ianto let his breath out in a long hiss.
"Doctor, who is this friend of yours?"
The Doctor raised an eyebrow and smiled a little as he looked past Ianto. The young Welshman turned to find a contingent of the Royal Guard approaching. They halted in perfect synchronicity, and the lead guard spoke formally to the Time Lord.
"Doctor, welcome back to Buckingham Palace. If you and your companions will follow us, Her Majesty is waiting for you."
Still grinning, the Doctor ignored Ianto's slack-jawed expression, and responded cheerfully.
"Lead on, my good man. Alonzy!"
They were led into Buckingham Palace and through a maze of lavish corridors. The pace set by the guards was brisk, and Ianto found he had to tug regularly on Jack's hand to ensure he kept up.
Ianto honestly didn't know what to expect, and so he wasn't sure whether to be surprised or not when they were escorted into a large but cosy room filled with armchairs, sofas and a large open fire that filled the room with warmth.
"Your Majesty," the guard intoned. "The Doctor, and his companions."
Ianto did a double-take as his gaze finally came to rest on the regal lady seated in the armchair closest to the fire. Again, he hadn't really known what to expect, but he hadn't expected someone who looked quite so… grandmotherly. The Doctor was greeting her with his usual zest, and even through his own state of shock, Ianto could see the warm glow of affection in her eyes as she responded in kind.
They weren't merely acquaintances, he realised. They were friends.
"Doctor, if you would be so kind as to introduce your companions?"
"Of course," the Doctor burst out, looking only mildly embarrassed at having not done so straight away. "This is Miss Rose Tyler, formally of the Powell Estate in London, Mr Ianto Jones from Wales, and Captain Jack Harkness, a former Time Agent from the fifty-first century."
As they were introduced, Rose curtsied and Ianto bowed. When the Doctor introduced Jack, though, the immortal looked at the Doctor in confused surprise.
"I am?"
"Jack, you need to bow," Ianto whispered anxiously. This time, the confusion was directed towards Ianto.
"I do? How come?"
"Trust me," Ianto hissed. He could feel his face heating up under the monarch's scrutiny, and he dared not look at her for fear of seeing disapproval. He was going to kill the Doctor for springing this surprise on them. "This is a very, very important lady. You need to be polite, and bow."
Jack gaped momentarily at Her Majesty before attempting a somewhat clumsy to imitate Ianto's bow. He went too low, too quickly, and toppled over before Ianto could stop him. His head cracked his the table with a resounding crack, and Jack landed in the floor in a heap. For several seconds there was absolute silence. Then, Jack's face crumpled and he burst into tears, his hands coming up to cover the spot that had struck the edge of the table.
"I'm sorry," Ianto gasped, not totally sure exactly who he was going apologising to. "I'm so sorry... I'll... I'll take him back to the TARDIS..."
"Nonsense. Let me see, please."
Ianto fell back, and watched in open-mouthed shock as Her Majesty rose gracefully from her chair and came to stand in front of Jack. She observed him for a moment before leaning down, taking his face gently between her palms, and kissing the spot where he'd banged his head.
Jack's sobs faded quickly, and he looked up at her through a film of tears.
"There now," the Queen said with a warm smile. "No harm done. You just gave yourself a fright more than anything, didn't you? Doctor, I'm sure you have a handkerchief buried somewhere in those pockets of yours. Perhaps you could let Jack have one to wipe his eyes. Then, perhaps we can all sit down and have a lovely afternoon tea. Jack, dear, do you like lemonade?"
Jack's face lit up and he nodded eagerly as Ianto gently wiped his tear-streaked face clean.
"Yes, please! Thankyou!" He then turned to Ianto and whispered loudly, "She's a nice lady. I like her."
Ianto smiled wryly.
"Thankyou, Ma'am. You may have just won him over for life."
She smiled sadly in response as Ianto helped Jack up and guided him to sit on one of the two-seater couches.
"Believe me, Mr Jones. It's the very least I can do, considering that I failed to help him once before."
Silence met the monarch's statement, and even the Doctor looked puzzled. Jack alone appeared oblivious; his attention was very firmly on the afternoon tea being wheeled into the room.
"Let's have refreshments," she told them, "and then I shall explain."
Half an hour later, the Queen began to talk. Jack was still working his way through a plate that he'd piled high with sandwiches, cakes and fruit, and fussed loudly when Ianto tried to take it off him.
"It's quite all right, Mr Jones," she told him. "Let him eat. I'm pleased that he's enjoying himself."
Bemused, Ianto conceded and let Jack keep his plate.
"Excuse me, Ma'am," Rose said cautiously, "but are you telling us that you already knew about Jack?"
"At the start of World War II," she told them soberly, "I went with my father to Cardiff to inspect the Torchwood facility there. It was hoped that they might have had some advanced technology that we could use to bring the war to a quick conclusion. That was not to be, unfortunately. Whilst we were there, however, the man who was in charge took a great deal of pleasure in showing us what he called the anomaly."
"Jack," the Doctor said tightly.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. Worse, he took even greater delight in showing the many different ways that Jack could be killed, and still come back to life. His excuse was that he was testing the limits of his immortality, and trying to see whether it could be transferred to our soldiers. I was horrified by it, and I asked my father that night to do something to help. He said there was nothing we could do, and that what Torchwood did was far too important to interfere on behalf of one man who was not even confirmed to be completely human. The good of the many outweighed the good of the one, he told me, although I'm not entirely certain that he truly believed it himself. I could have argued. I should have argued but I chose to say no more about the issue. Then, when I assumed the throne myself, I did the unthinkable, and I forgot about him. When the Torchwood facility in Cardiff was reported abandoned, I immediately sent a contingent of the Royal Guard to Cardiff to search for Jack, but it was too late. He was already gone."
"Excuse me, Ma'am," Ianto said politely, "but it would have made no difference how quickly your guards arrived. Jack was taken from Cardiff to London back in 1993, so that the London facility could conduct experiments of their own on him."
"I feared as much," the Queen admitted. "I'm ashamed to admit that I never attempted to find out, either. It simply always seemed that I had more important business to attend to. Then the Battle of Canary Wharf happened, and I feared the worst." She regarded Jack with an affectionate smile. "I can't begin to express how glad I am to see him safe. Indeed, all of you."
"Actually, that's why we're here," the Doctor said. "Right now, he still isn't completely safe. It isn't Torchwood that's the threat, though. It's UNIT."
"For what purpose would UNIT want him?"
"The same reason that Torchwood wanted him, I suppose. To experiment on him. To lock him up indefinitely. Both of which are unacceptable possibilities."
The Queen nodded.
"I wholeheartedly agree. I must ask, though. Are the authorities in UNIT aware that Jack is currently in your care?"
"They know," the Doctor confirmed. "It doesn't seem to matter to them, though. I took Ianto to visit his parents in Newport a few days ago, and he and Jack barely escaped a UNIT ambush."
"They shot Jack in the head," Ianto said heatedly. "I was shot in the side."
"Are you all right now?" the Queen asked, looking in concern from Jack to Ianto.
"Yes, Ma'am," Ianto murmured. "The Doctor is right, though. UNIT are determined to have Jack, and they don't care that he'd in the Doctor's care."
"They don't see him as human," Rose added vehemently. "They just see him as somethin' unnatural that has to be locked up."
The Queen looked back at Jack, who had finally abandoned his plate of treats, and was looking around at each of them warily – as though he understood they were talking about him, but didn't know why.
"Jack," the Queen said in a gentle tone that nevertheless reflected the authority that she wielded. "I'd like you to answer a question for me. Will you do that?"
Jack nodded, eager to please the kind lady who had kissed his sore head better, and given him lemonade and treats.
"You say 'Yes, Ma'am'," Ianto murmured.
"Oh," Jack gulped. "I'm sorry. Yes, Ma'am."
She smiled.
"Tell me, Jack. If I were to give you a choice, who would you like to stay with? Who would you like to have take care of you?"
Jack looked confused. He clutched at Ianto's hand, as though suddenly afraid that Ianto would vanish on him.
"Yan toe takes care of me. He's staying with me. He promised he would."
"It isn't finding someone to take care of him that's the problem, Ma'am," Ianto answered as Jack cuddled in against him. "I'll take care of him. I promised that I would for as long as he needs it."
"You see," the Doctor said, "Jack's memories have been suppressed by his years in captivity. I'm hoping I'll be able to restore those memories. He wasn't always in this child-like frame of mind. I believe that the man Rose and I once knew is still buried in there somewhere, and I hope to be able to help him resurface, so that Jack can finally be in control of his own life."
"Assuming you do achieve that, what will happen then?"
"Well, that's why we're here," the Doctor said. "Of course, Jack is welcome to stay on the TARDIS for as long as he wants, but somehow I doubt he will want to. I want to be certain that Jack will be protected from any agencies on Earth that might want to harm him, control him or simply lock him up because he isn't like any other human on this planet. Starting with UNIT."
The Queen smiled knowingly. Although UNIT was not exclusively a British agency, she still hold a great deal of power over it. She did not often exercise that power, but it was still there at her behest.
"Consider it done, Doctor." She looked back over at Jack. "UNIT will no longer be a bother to you, Jack, I promise."
That look of growing adoration was back in Jack's eyes as he started shyly at the Queen.
"Thankyou."
"I would like you to consider a proposal, Doctor," the Queen said a while later. She and the Doctor stood on the far side of the room, talking quietly. Jack had dozed off a while ago and was currently snuggled adorably into Ianto's side, much to the younger man's embarrassment. The Queen had refused to allow him to be disturbed, though, saying he deserved the opportunity to sleep whenever he wanted, given that he'd suffered for more than a century not getting any sort of decent rest.
And so Ianto and Rose kept watch over Jack while the Queen and the Doctor retreated to the far side of the room to carry on their conversation.
"What sort of proposal?"
"When you restore the Captain's memories, and his mind, you expect that he will want to stay on Earth, don't you?"
"I expect that Ianto will want to stay on Earth," the Doctor answered. "I expect that Jack will choose to follow Ianto's lead."
She looked back at Ianto thoughtfully.
"He does love that young man, doesn't he?"
"Yes, he does. Ianto showed him kindness and care when no one else did. Jack will do anything for Ianto, including die for him."
"The attack by UNIT?"
"It was an attempt to kill Ianto," the Doctor explained. "I suspected the idea was to destabilise Jack by taking Ianto out of the equation. If I ever find out who authorised it, Rassilon help them."
"I promise to put an end to that threat, Doctor. Coming back to the Captain, though, I have a proposal that I hope you will consider putting to him, should you be successful in restoring his mind."
"What proposal?" the Doctor asked, starting to feel slightly suspicious.
"I do not wish to shut down Torchwood."
The Doctor froze, and his expression quickly darkened.
"After everything they did, and all the people who died, you can't seriously expect me to allow it to continue operating!"
"As it was? No. What I'm proposing, Doctor, is an entirely new Torchwood, with a new charter and a new focus. Torchwood London is finished. It was destroyed in the battle, and I will not permit it to be rebuilt. The Cardiff facility is still there, however, as is the rift that it was built to monitor. It only needs someone to take charge of it."
The Doctor's expression was inscrutable.
"Someone like Jack, you mean. Let's be clear about this. Jack was locked up in that place like an animal for nearly a hundred years, and you want to send him back there?"
To her credit, the monarch didn't so much as blink in the face of the Time Lord's anger.
"I want him to have the opportunity to consider it," she replied seriously. "If he then decides he does not want to do it, then I shan't force him into it. Don't you see, though, Doctor? Who better to turn Torchwood around and put it on a new path than someone such as Captain Harkness?"
"This is all just speculation. I may not have any success restoring his mind."
"I understand. Will you consider it, though?"
"If he recovers completely, and if I don't think he'd use it for revenge, then yes. I'll put the proposition to him. Good enough?"
"Good enough. Doctor, what are his chances for recovery?"
The Doctor looked over to where Ianto was holding Jack as he dozed.
"I don't know. The memories are there, but they're buried under so many layers of trauma... I just don't know if he'll ever recover from it. Not completely."
"I suppose it depends, doesn't it, Doctor?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, it depends on how you define recovery. If you determine the success of his recovery on whether he once again becomes the man you remember, then I imagine his chances of recovery are slim. Trauma changes a person, Doctor. You know that from personal experiences. Jack has experienced a trauma that extended over the course of more than one hundred years. I sincerely doubt that he will ever be the same as he was prior to his captivity, but whether that is a good thing or a bad thing is going to be up to you and your companions."
They returned to the TARDIS after witnessing Her Majesty place a direct call to the head of UNIT. She informed the General that Jack Harkness, former prisoner of Torchwood, and Ianto Jones, former Torchwood employee, were both under the protection of the Crown, and she would not tolerate any further attempts by UNIT to stymie their new-found freedom.
The General politely reminded the Queen that she did not, in fact, have the authority to dictate to UNIT. She reminded him equally politely that the United Nations did, and that she would willingly advocate sanctions against the agency if they didn't completely withdraw their attempts to secure Jack.
Ianto and Rose had listened in awe, while the Doctor just grinned proudly.
Departing from Her Majesty's presence had also proven to be an experience in itself. The Doctor and Ianto had bowed, and Rose had curtsied again. Jack, however, had gazed at her shyly before asking if he could hug her. Her pleasure at his request was undeniable, and she hadn't hesitated to initiate a hug.
When they finally left, Jack was as happy as Ianto could ever remember seeing him, with a beautiful smile lighting up his face.
"That went well," Rose commented, smiling as Jack rushed off to his room to get his dog. Ianto had, with some difficulty, convinced him to leave it behind in the TARDIS whilst they were gone.
"It did, didn't it?" the Doctor said with a smug grin. Ianto nodded.
"I have to admit, it worked out well, even though I thought it was going to be a disaster at first."
Rose giggled.
"Poor Jack. I thought that was it when he fell and bumped his head. Never expected her to react like that!"
"Oh, please," the Doctor retorted. "She's a mother and a grandmother. She's probably soothed more bumps and bruises than you could imagine."
"Never thought about her like that, but yeah, you're right," Rose agreed. "You were right about taking Jack to see her as soon as possible."
Ianto turned slowly to stare piercingly at the Time Lord.
"Doctor? What does she mean?"
The Doctor was unapologetic as he explained.
"I want Jack to be safe from UNIT, the same as you. Since they clearly aren't paying any heed to me this time, I knew I'd need to get a more Earth-based authority on side. I wanted to get Jack to her when I could be sure there was no risk of him flirting with her!"
Ianto sighed.
"I think I'm probably not as mad at you as I could be because it worked. Tell me, though. Were you really unaware that she knew about Jack? That she'd seen him?"
"I didn't know," the Doctor insisted. "She never said anything, not in all the time I've known her."
"I suppose it doesn't really matter now," Ianto conceded. He looked quizzically at the Doctor, finally daring to ask what he knew was a loaded question.
"It can't be changed, can it?"
"No," the Doctor answered soberly, knowing full well what Ianto meant. "I can't change the fact that Jack spent all that time as a prisoner of Torchwood anymore than I can change the fact that I left him behind on Satellite Five. Both are established events now. If I tried to change them, it could create a paradox that could destroy the universe. I'm sorry, Ianto. I truly am."
Ianto sighed.
"No point dwelling on the past, and you at least didn't run from him at Canary Wharf, even though you could have done."
The Doctor looked torn between amusement and indignation.
"Did you expect me to?"
"In all honest? Yes, I did. When Rose went to find you, after it was all over, I really weren't sure if you'd just take Rose and abandon us to UNIT."
"Oi!" Rose protested. "You think I would've let him do that to Jack again?"
"No offense, Rose," Ianto told her gently, "but I think that if he'd really wanted to run from Jack again, you couldn't have stopped him."
She frowned, but didn't argue further.
"I admit that I'm still uncomfortable around him," the Doctor conceded. "It's gradually getting better, thought, and I promise that I will never run from him again."
"Good enough," Ianto said. The Doctor grinned, then, looking for all the world like a hyperactive ten year-old.
"Right, then! Back into the vortex, then! Or, better yet, perhaps I could find us a nice, uninhabited world somewhere with lots of sun? Cottage by the sea, maybe? What do you think, hmm? Think Jack would like that?"
"Just a moment, Doctor," Ianto interrupted him quietly. "Before we go anywhere at all, I want you to tell me where Gage is."
The Doctor's face promptly clouded over, confirming Ianto's suspicions.
"He's not in the TARDIS anymore, is he?"
"He asked me to take him home," the Doctor replied. "Back to Ireland. It was while you were recovering from being shot. Jack never noticed because he spent most of that time at your side. I tried to talk him out of it, Ianto. I really did. I told him he ought to at least wait and talk to you, but he'd made up his mind."
"Well, why didn't you stop him?" Ianto burst out. His mind was in a whirl as he was immediately assaulted by panicked thoughts of what he was going to tell Jack. "You could've... I don't know, locked him in his room!"
"I will not force anyone to stay here if they really don't want to stay," the Doctor said. "Gage chose to go. I'm sorry that he wouldn't wait an extra couple of days, but I respect his right to make that choice."
"Oh, that's just rich," Ianto spat, allowing his temper to get the better of him. "You talk like that now, but you didn't exactly respect Jack when you abandoned him, did you?"
The Doctor's jaw tightened, but even before he had the chance to respond, Ianto was already expressing regret for his ill-spoken remark.
"I'm sorry," the young Welshman said quietly. "I had no right to say that. It's just... this is going to hurt Jack so much! He's going to think Gage left because of him, and I'm not sure I'll be able to convince him otherwise!"
"We'll convince him together," the Doctor promised. "It isn't exclusively your responsibility anymore to look after Jack. That responsibility belongs to all of us."
"S'pose we'd better find him, then, yeah?" Rose said. "He's bound to be looking for Gage."
"Yeah," Ianto murmured, sounding despondent as he looked. "We'd better do that."
They found Jack in the garden. He sat by the stream with his toy dog tucked up in one arm, and his blanket in the other. Lying open on the grass in front of him was the book of Irish folktales that had belonged to Gage. As they approached, he looked up with a bright smile.
"Where is Gage? I want him to read to me. I like it when he reads to me."
Ianto looked stricken, but didn't try to avoid the subject. Sitting down beside Jack, Ianto took the immortal's hand in his own.
"Jack, love, Gage isn't here. He left the TARDIS while I was still sick in the med bay."
Jack's smile faltered.
"Oh... So... When will he be back?"
"He won't be back," Ianto answered, and felt downright lousy at the dismay on Jack's face. "He's decided to leave the TARDIS, and I'm afraid he won't be coming back."
Ianto fully expected Jack to burst into tears right then and there. He didn't, but his eyes were filled with tears that were threatening to fall at any moment.
"Doctor?" Jack asked in a trembling voice. The Time Lord came forward.
"Yes, Jack?"
"We can go get him, can't we? We'll get him and bring him back, and I'll say sorry and everything will be okay."
The Doctor felt both his hearts breaking at Jack's plea.
"I'm sorry, Jack, but it was Gage's decision. He chose to leave, and I can't make him come back."
The first tears began to work their way out of his eyes.
"But... I'll say sorry! I promise I will! And that will make everything better, and Gage won't be mad at me anymore..."
The tears finally came, and Jack began to cry in earnest.
"Sweetheart, he's not mad at you," Ianto told him. "I'm positive he's not mad at you," the Doctor added, joining them on the grass.
"But why did he go?" Jack asked plaintively in between hiccoughing sobs. "Doesn't he like me anymore?"
"Jack, it's not your fault at all," the Doctor insisted. "I think that perhaps, Gage just began to miss his own family and his home, and he didn't want to stay away any longer."
Jack stared miserably at the Doctor.
"It wasn't because of me?"
"No. It wasn't because of you."
There was silence, and they could all see Jack's mind working hard, trying to understand.
"But... he could've just visited, like Yan did. We could go and get him later, when he's had a visit!"
The Doctor wanted to weep at the hopeful look on Jack's face. He knew now why Ianto had dreaded facing Jack over this.
"Jack, I am sorry. Gage wanted to go home for good. He doesn't want to come back."
Jack's face crumpled, and Ianto quickly pulled him into a fierce hug, letting Jack sob into his shoulder.
"You'd better go," Ianto murmured. "Both of you. Let me look after him."
"You sure?" Rose asked anxiously.
"Positive."
Ianto tried to smile, but it wouldn't come.
"I'll take us into the vortex," the Doctor told him. "Hopefully he'll be a bit more settled by tomorrow, and then I think we'll see what we can do about starting to get his memories back."
Ianto paid little heed to the Doctor, and was barely aware of him and Rose leaving. His focus was on Jack, and Jack alone. He continued to hug Jack to him, not making any attempt to talk, and all the while trying to think of a way to soothe his miserable charge.
There was nothing he could say. Right then, Jack was inconsolable, and Ianto knew that despite their attempts to convince him otherwise, Jack still believed he was to blame in some way for Gage's departure. Right at that moment, Ianto hated Gage for the grief that he was causing Jack.
Gradually, he became aware of Jack's arms sneaking around his body, and holding onto his with a vice-like grip.
"Jack," Ianto murmured as the strength of Jack's hold on him began to be uncomfortable. "Love, I need you to ease up. You're squeezing me a little too tight. Jack, please..."
"Everybody leaves," Jack said abruptly, his voice muffled by Ianto's shoulder. Ianto froze.
"What was that?"
Jack lifted his head just a little in a grief-stricken voice.
"Everybody leaves me. Doctor left me. Rose left me. Gage left me. You'll leave me!"
"Jack, no! I promised I wouldn't, remember?"
"What's wrong with me, Yan? Why does everybody leave me?"
Ianto gently detached himself from Jack's hold, and shifted around so that he was kneeling opposite him, and facing him directly. Jack's eyes were red and swollen already from crying, and his face was a mess. Ianto tutted softly, and pulled a handkerchief from his pocket to gently clean his face.
"Now look at me, Jack. Look at me and listen. I am not going to leave you. Not as long as I have any choice in the matter. I already promised you that, and I keep my promises. Do you believe me, Jack?"
Jack didn't answer. Ianto could see in his eyes that he desperately wanted to believe, but simply didn't dare to. Too many times, Ianto thought sadly. He'd been hurt so often by others, that he still did not really trust anyone to stay with him. Gage's departure hadn't caused this sudden bout of insecurity and depression. That had been there all along, and Gage leaving had just brought it to the surface where they could all see it.
"Nothing's wrong with you, Jack," Ianto told him fiercely. "Do you hear me? Nothing is wrong with you."
Jack looked up at Ianto once more, and Ianto acted before he lost his courage and resolve. Leaning in, he slipped one hand behind Jack's head, and closed the remaining distance between them to seal Jack's mouth with his own.
Ianto felt more than heard Jack's squeak of surprise, and fought back a grin. Instead, he took the opportunity and deepened the kiss, pushing his tongue gently into Jack's unresisting mouth to lightly stroke his tongue.
Jack tasted like nothing Ianto had ever before experienced. It was like getting an adrenalin shot straight into his groin, and he found himself moaning into the kiss as his arousal levels shot up. At first, there was no reaction from Jack, and Ianto wondered whether he had perhaps made a mistake. Then, Jack's arms tightened around his body once more, and it was suddenly Ianto's turn to utter an unmanly sound as Jack responded with renewed enthusiasm.
How long it lasted, Ianto had no idea. He quickly lost all sense of time as he and Jack plundered each other's mouths in turn. It was less erotic, though, than reassuring. There was comfort in the embrace and the kiss, and Ianto could sense Jack taking consolation in it as much as he was.
When they finally separated, Ianto took a moment to take in Jack's expression. There was still a world of hurt there, but Ianto could also see a renewal of hope. He hadn't been wrong. Jack needed physical comfort as much as verbal comfort.
"I miss him," Jack whispered softly. Ianto leaned his forehead lightly against Jack's, and reached up to rub his shoulders soothingly.
"I know, love. So do I, and that's okay. It's okay to miss him, and maybe we'll be lucky enough to see him again some day. But now we have to move on. You're not alone, though. Gage might have gone, but you're not alone. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. I promised you. Have I ever my promises to you, Jack?"
"No," Jack conceded.
"There you go, then," Ianto said with a soft smile. "C'mon, then. How about we go and find the Doctor?"
"Not yet," Jack pled. "Please, can we stay here just a little longer?"
Ianto shrugged a little noncommittally.
"If you like." He shifted around and lay down on the cool grass, and Jack did the same, so that they were lying side by side, and face to face.
"I liked it," Jack admitted tentatively. Ianto couldn't stop the smile that quirked his lips. He knew what Jack was talking about.
"I liked it too," he confessed, and quietly relished the renewed spark that lit up in Jack's eyes.
"Can we maybe do it again some time?"
Ianto's smile widened a little.
"Yeah. I think that maybe we can probably do it again some time."
Jack hummed a little in pleasure, and then reached out to snag the book that had been abandoned beside him.
"Yan?"
"What is it, Jack?"
"Can you read to me, Yan?"
Ianto smiled and pushed himself back up into a sitting position, and took the book. He opened it up to the page marked by a simple bookmark with a picture of a dog on it that Jack had taken a particular liking to.
"I'll read to you, Jack. Of course I will."
to be continued...