Dsicalmeir: I dno't onw Tiwiglht

Dsicalmeir: I dno't onw Tiwiglht. Or Sarhk Boy. Or Brunig Up by The Jaons Borhtres.

Ahtuor's Ntoe: I'm so hpeyr crunrelty.

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Bella and Edward were walking down to the local food store to pick up something for the human to eat. They decided they would walk due to a higher force that forgot the two had cars and could potentially drive.

Bella was giggling like a koala (A/N: do koalas giggle?) as they reached the store. Edward was just staring at her. He'd told her that his pants were vibrating, caused by his phone, and she somehow found it hysterical.

"Sorry, Eddie-teddy." She'd come up with a cutesy nickname for him with Alice and Jasper's help. Though it was mostly Jasper. "It's just…your pants were vibrating." She laughed. "Come on, that's funny. What's happened to people today?"

He rolled his eyes, noticing a paper taped to the side of the building. It was flailing in the wind, half taped on and half ripped off. He pulled the paper from the wall and read.

'Holding Auditions for Lava Girl (due to her sudden disappearance).

All ages accepted. Female or males (doesn't matter, I just need my Lava Girl back)

Auditions will be held on August 2nd at the First Beach in La Push.

Sincerely, Shark Boy'

In smaller letters after Shark Boy, Edward could make out the words 'sucks bad.'

"Hey, Bella what do you think about this?" Edward showed her. "I think Jakers is lonely."

"Well you'd be too, if your walrus lover left you for another guy. The guy you adore doesn't share the same feelings. And all you love is yourself. It's very lonely." Bella glanced over the sheet. "Hey, I'm going to audition!"

"No."

"Aww…come on! We'll get everyone! And we can all try out!" She smiled at her idea.

"No, I don't want to audition to be stalked by Jacob Black. I got that for free."

"You have better plans that day?" She crossed her arms and put on her best sassy face.

"Actually I do." He crumpled up the paper. "I'm going to be reading a book called Reconstructing Dusk. Got a problem with that?"

"Yeah, that book is supposed to weird. I heard there's this girl, Edwarda, who bits her boyfriend, Bell, and turns him into a human from a vampire. And also instead of getting married, they get a divorce. Even though they're not married yet." She shook her head. "So come on." She begged.

"Ok, we can go." He gave in.

"Yay!" She smiled and hugged him. "I'm going to audition for a stalker! THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER!"

--

August second came far too fast for Edward. The whole Cullen family was lined up waiting for the auditions to begin. And finally, Jac-I mean- Shark Boy came out of his shark cave to meet the masses. By masses I'm referring to the Cullens and Mike.

"Are any of you hotter than me?" Shark Boy asked. Edward raised his hand. "Oh, I already knew that." Jacob/Shark Boy leaned down farther as if to talk only to Edward. "I already stalk you. You don't have to flatter me by auditioning."

Edward looked completely confused and very disgusted. "Creeper."

"Now then, who's first?"

Alice pulled Jasper throw the crowd. "Oh, we'll go." The two stood in front of Shark Boy. "I'm Lava and he's Girl. Ready, we came up with a cheer."

Jasper clapped his hands together, as did Alice. They chanted together. "Lava Girl! Let's go, Lava Girl! You're the best! YAY! WOO!"

"Did you two come up with that three seconds ago?"

"Crap, Alice." Jasper whispered. "He's on to us. Run!" The two pulled rocket powered jetpacks out of thin air and flew into the sky and beyond.

Shark Boy looked around for a second before saying. "NEXT!"

This time Bella hopped her way to the auditioning stage. "I prepared a…um…a dance!"

As she spoke the words 'a dance', the heavens parted and a stereo fell from the sky playing the song 'Burnin' Up' by The Jonas Brothers.

She skipped along off beat to the song, running around and doing random tumbles on the ground. Shark Boy watched in amazement. It was the most incredible thing he'd seen all day. Especially when she sang off-key, then spun around and unbelievably she looked and sounded exactly like Joe Jonas.

Bella finished and she was still looking suspiciously like Joe Jonas. Shark Boy clapped. "I love you!"

Bella/Joe smiled to be polite, then glanced around for an escape. Finding one, she/he made their move.

Behind the stage Bella/Joe, met with the real Bella Swan who was hiding. "Thank you, Joe."

"I'm a Jonas Brother." He bowed. "It's what I do." And he fled.

"Bella?" Jake, the shark, called, but received no reply. He searched the crowd for anyone that looked like her. And that's when he saw his perfect Lava Girl.

They were standing next to the mother type figure from the Cullen family. They were just perfect. Shark Boy left his post and ran to his Lava Girl.

Jake threw himself around Lava Girl's waist. " Will you be Lava Girl? You're perfect."

Carlisle raised an eyebrow. "Umm…sure."

"LAVA GIRL! I LOVE YOU! YOU'RE LIGHT! NOT DESTRUCTION! (A/N: Oh, sorry. I just ruined that movie)." Jake gazed at everyone around. "LEAVE NOW! I NEED TO BE ALONE WITH LAVAY!"

"Edward, I'm scared!" Carlisle tried to turn to him, but Jake wasn't letting him.

"Join the club."

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Author's Note: This chapter was inspired by Captain Kris asking where is Lava Girl. And my wonderful hat.