The TARDIS landed in Cardiff with a shudder that did nothing to ease the nerves that were churning up Jack's stomach. He knew that he didn't look terribly good, either, from the way that Ianto, Rose and the Doctor had been watching him from the moment he entered the control room.
Truth was that he wanted nothing more than to run and hide. He wanted to make a dash to his room, grab his dog and blanket and hide away from the reality that was awaiting him outside the TARDIS doors.
A hand grasped his, and he looked to see Ianto beside him, smiling reassuringly.
"Together," Ianto reminded him gently. Jack let his breath out in a soft hiss.
"Okay. I'm ready."
He wasn't, not really, and they all knew it. No one was arguing with him, though. Instead, the Doctor threw open the doors and led the way out into the Cardiff sunshine.
"Hello again, Brigadier," the Doctor greeted his old friend as they emerged onto the Plass. The Brigadier nodded in reply.
"Doctor."
"Got the front door key, then, have you?"
The Brigadier snorted. "Yes, though I don't know why you need it with that sonic screwdriver of yours." He paused, and smiled wryly. "Then again, I must say I got quite a kick out of General Stewart's reaction when he had to hand it over. Especially when he found out why." His gaze swept over the small group, and finally came to land on Jack. "It's good to see you fit and well, lad."
"Thankyou," Jack answered sincerely. "Thankyou for everything you did. I'll never forget it."
The Brigadier accepted Jack's offered hand without hesitation, and clasped it firmly.
"Anything to put a stick up the current hierarchy, infantile twits that they are. Well done with Her Majesty, too, I might add. She issued a directive within hours of your meeting her that both yourself and young Mr Jones here are under the protection of the Crown. I was at a meeting of UNIT Chiefs when it came through. The response was colourful to say the least."
"It shouldn't have been necessary," the Doctor said tersely. "It should have been enough that they knew Jack and Ianto are under my protection."
"With all due respect, Doctor, this is a new generation. They haven't worked with you in the same capacity as UNIT did back in my day. They simply don't have the same degree of respect for you. You did the right thing by taking these lads to meet with Her Majesty, believe me."
The Doctor nodded, though he seemed less than appeased.
"All right. Lead the way, Brigadier."
"Keep in mind, no one has been inside this place for years. Not since just after New Year of Two Thousand. UNIT only obtained the keys in the aftermath of Canary Wharf, and as far as I'm aware, none of the bigwigs had gotten around to paying the place a visit. I can't guarantee what state it's in, or how much of the equipment is still intact. For all we know, the London mob might have cleaned it out."
"Not all of it, they didn't," Ianto said quietly. "I started working at Torchwood as a junior researcher in Standard Archives just after the Cardiff office was locked down. I recall hearing someone say that Hartman didn't want to clear it out completely, because she planned on installing a new team here eventually."
"Can't say I'm sorry she never got around to it," the Brigadier retorted. "I think we all know full well that she was interested in was whatever fell through the rift."
"Sorry, the what?" Ianto asked, puzzled.
"A rift in time and space," Jack explained. "It runs through Cardiff like a fault line, and things tend to slip through."
"You mean aliens," Ianto interpreted. Jack shrugged.
"Aliens. Technology. Cold war era toaster ovens."
Ianto rolled his eyes.
"Wonderful. We can retro-furnish our house."
Jack's grin just about lit up the dull Cardiff day.
"I love fifties era beds. The sixties were pretty good, too. Revolving mattresses and mirror ceilings..."
Ianto eyed him with mock exasperation.
"Did you learn anything practical at this Time Agency of yours?"
Jack looked scandalised, which had Ianto struggling not to laugh.
"That is practical! You'd be amazed at the positions you can get into when you can see yourself..."
"Yes, thankyou, Jack," the Doctor interrupted dryly. "Brigadier, if you please...?"
Barely able to contain a smirk, the Brigadier let them into a mock-up o a tourist office that looked and smelt like it hadn't been aired out since before World War I.
"Forget the aliens," Rose coughed. "This is death by dust mites!"
"Sorry," the Brigadier apologised. "But I did warn you." He leaned behind the counter and pressed a hidden button that caused a false wall to slide back and reveal a dank looking tunnel.
"Miss Tyler?" he asked, offering her his arm but the Doctor, however, hung back with Jack and Ianto. He and Ianto both eyed Jack with concern, noting that the immortal was distinctly pale.
"Jack, you don't have to go in," the Doctor told him gently. "If you aren't ready, just say so and we can go back to the TARDIS."
"No," Jack answered. "I'm okay. I am. I just... I'm scared," he admitted in a small voice. "I mean, I know it's not going to happen, but a part of me can't help thinking that I'll be trapped all over again if I go in there. It's stupid, I know."
"No, it's not," Ianto assured him. "It's a reasonable reaction. But tell me, Jack. Do you trust us? Me, the Doctor, Rose and the Brigadier?"
"Yes," Jack answered without hesitation. Ianto grasped his hand in a firm grip.
"Then trust us now to keep you safe. And remember, we're only going to look. You can say enough at any time. We are not going to force you to do anything you don't want to do."
"Thankyou," Jack murmured. "I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be."
"All right, then," the Doctor said. "Let's go and have a look, shall we?"
It took effort for Ianto to contain his reaction to the interior of the Cardiff base. Even with his own antipathy towards Torchwood, he couldn't help but be impressed by the place. A brief glance told him that both Rose and the Brigadier both felt the same. Jack and the Doctor, however, wore equally stony expressions.
"According to the plans," the Brigadier said, "this is the main body of the place. It goes down several levels. You have the armoury and target range, an extensive archives and then about four levels of holding cells. There's a seventh level on the plans, but we don't know what's down there. We should probably go and take a look."
"No need," the Doctor said quietly. "We know what's there."
The Brigadier looked from the Doctor to Ianto, and then to Jack. He took in the look on their faces, and nodded decisively.
"Right. Perhaps you'd like to just have a bit of a look around at your leisure? I would recommend, though, that no one touch anything. That includes you, Doctor."
Indignation flooded the Doctor's face, and Rose giggled and hugged him.
"Don't look so insulted. You know he's right. Now, c'mon. I want to have a look around."
She dragged him away, and the Brigadier followed, all the while muttering under his breath about Time Lords who can't keep their hands to themselves.
"You're not okay at all, are you?" Ianto asked Jack quietly once the others were out of earshot.
"I don't want to be here," Jack confessed in a heavily subdued voice, "but I need to be here. I think I can cope as long as you stay with me."
"Always," Ianto promised, taking his hand without hesitation when Jack reached for him. "But cariad, do you think you'll be able to cope with working here? Because if just being here now, to look around, is causing you distress, then maybe..."
"Two things," Jack interrupted. "If you promise me two things, I think I can deal with working here."
"What two things? Tell me."
"First, that I won't have to live here, and second, that I'll never have to go down to that level where they... You know..."
"Where you were held?" Ianto asked solemnly, and Jack nodded.
"Yeah. I can't go back down there. Not ever."
"I promise you won't have to," Ianto reassured him. "If need be, we'll seal that level off entirely. As for living here, not a chance. We're going to get a flat, at the very least, and it can be on the other side of Cardiff, if needs be. We are not living here."
The hope that shone on Jack's face was beautiful to see.
"You really want to live with me?"
Ianto was bemused, to say the least.
"That is what couples do, isn't it? Live together? That is what we are? A couple..."
Suddenly, unexpectedly, it was Ianto's turn to feel uncertain as it occurred to him that perhaps Jack didn't want to put a label of any sort on their relationship, fledgling though it was. His doubts were quickly washed away, though, when Jack hugged him and kissed him lingeringly on the mouth.
"Never used to like labels," Jack murmured against Ianto's lips. "But I like that. Us, as a couple. It feels nice."
"You know I'm strictly a one man bloke, right?" Ianto asked teasingly. Jack answered with a playful leer.
"So, you're saying I can share you with other women, but not other men?"
Ianto slapped him lightly on the arm, and Jack erupted into a fit of giggles.
"You're incorrigible, Jack. C'mon, let's have a look around."
Notably calmer, Jack followed Ianto around the body of the Hub, examining what had been left behind by Torchwood London. Much of it was in pieces – cannibalised by whoever had been sent by Yvonne Hartman to clean up the mess left behind by Alex Hopkins.
Gradually, Jack found himself drawn to what appeared to be an office. Ianto followed, and watched with curiosity and concern as Jack stood tensely just inside the door.
"This is where they made their offer," Jack said. He spat the words out like they were poison. "I refused. Didn't want anything to do with them after seeing how they operated. My mistake, though, was that I didn't take their threats seriously. I should have gotten out of Cardiff as fast as I could, instead of going and getting drunk again. My liberty was at their discretion, they said. I ignored them. I never thought for a second that they'd get the better of me twice." He walked around the desk and sat down gingerly in the chair behind the desk. "I never imagined that one day I'd be the one sitting here."
"It's yours if you want it, Jack," Ianto told him quietly. "You only have to say yes. On the other hand, if you don't want it, then I'm sure the Doctor will take us wherever we want to go. It's your choice, and you don't have to do anything you don't want to do."
Jack regarded Ianto with a heartfelt smile.
"There's that word again. Us." He held out a hand and Ianto took it, allowing himself to be pulled down onto Jack's lap. "We'd have to redecorate. I can't work in here with it looking like this."
Ianto smirked.
"Naturally. What else are you thinking?"
"It's got to be just you and me. I won't have anyone else here. Not from UNIT, or any of the local law enforcements agencies. The police are all too damned..."
"Don't you dare say bleeding hearts," Ianto warned him lightly, "because that's what I was accused of being for wanting to help you."
Jack huffed.
"I was going to say nosy, but there is that. Ianto, the rift is unpredictable, and there may be times when we have to make some hard choices. Life and death choices. I don't need some whiny little thing telling me I'm wrong." Bitterness flickered over his face at a thousand bad memories. "Had enough of that to last hundred of lifetimes."
Ianto kissed him softly, chasing away some of the shadows in his lover's eyes.
"Can't say that I agree to the 'only us' mantra, but all right. For now, at least, we'll keep it to ourselves. Just promise me, Jack, that you'll at least consider others for recruitment if it gets to be too much for us to handle on our own."
"Okay," Jack murmured. He buried his face in Ianto's shoulder. "I love you, Yan. Thankyou for not leaving me."
Ianto withheld a sigh. He could hear the unspoke plea for reassurance as clearly as a clap of thunder.
"I love you, too, Jack. And I promise to stay with you for as long as I can."
In the end, it was decided that Jack and Ianto would take control of Torchwood in a month's time. It would coincide with the post-Canary Wharf conference in London which Jack and Ianto would attend, with the Doctor there as well for support. It would be the first real test of Jack's new authority, as the newly appointed Director of Torchwood. Then, they would return to Cardiff and start to prepare the Hub for occupancy once more.
In the meantime, Jack had made two specific requests. Firstly, that the Doctor take them all somewhere that they could relax for at least two weeks, with absolutely no threat of running for their lives. Secondly, Jack asked rather shyly to visit Ianto's parents again.
The first was enthusiastically agreed to by all. The second caused Ianto some reservations, but he agreed to it nonetheless. He, too, wanted to see his parents now that they knew there was no longer any threat of an ambush hanging over their heads. Plus, he wanted his parents to see Jack the adult, as opposed to Jack the child.
And so here they were, walking side by side up the path to the front door of Meredith and Alwyn Jones' home. They'd not quite gotten there before the door opened and Meredith rushed out. Neither man had a chance to speak before she engulfed first Ianto and then Jack in a ferocious hug.
"You're all right! You're both all right, thank the Lord!"
"Yes, Mam, we're fine," Ianto reassured her. "Everything's fine now."
"We thought the worst when all those soldiers showed up," she told them. "You weren't hurt, were you?"
Ianto and Jack exchanged glances, and then Jack spoke gently.
"It wasn't anything serious, Mrs Jones. Just cuts and bruises. We're both fine."
"Well, thank God for that," she huffed. "Why on earth are we standing around out here for? Come inside, boys."
She let them in, and then ushered them through into the kitchen.
"Now, I seem to remember promising someone some chocolate ice cream with topping and sprinkles when they were here last."
Jack couldn't keep his face from lighting up.
"Yes, please, Mrs Jones."
"Good. Have a seat, then. And what's this 'Mrs Jones' nonsense? Call me Mam."
"Mam, Jack's not the same as he was when we were last here," Ianto pointed out. She raised an eyebrow in his direction, effectively silencing her son with the simple gesture.
"Do you think I'm blind, Ianto? I can see the difference, but why should that stop him from being able to enjoy the pleasure of a bowl of ice cream?"
Ianto looked sheepish.
"Sorry. You're right."
"Of course I'm right. I'm your mother. Now, I'll get the ice cream, and then we'll talk."
"Where's Tad?" Ianto wondered.
"He went into town to pick up some gardening supplies. He should be back soon. Now tell me, are you both safe now?"
"Yes, Mam," Jack answered. "UNIT won't be a problem for us anymore."
Meredith regarded them both appraisingly.
"Ianto has chosen to stay with you, hasn't he?"
"While Ianto nearly choked, Jack just smiled.
"Yes, Mam. I love him, and I think he loves me."
She turned her gaze onto Ianto, who managed to regain a fraction of his composure and take Jack's hand in his.
"I do love him. Mam, I'm…"
She crossed the room so fast it made both their heads spin, and clapped a hand securely over Ianto's mouth.
"If you're about to apologise, Ianto Jones, then don't. Never apologise for loving someone. Do you hear me?"
Ianto nodded, abashed, and Meredith took her hand away from his mouth.
"Good. Just you both be sure to look after each other. That's all I'm asking."
"We will," Ianto promised. He felt Jack's hand close around his, and grasp it tightly in return. Meredith smiled warmly, placated.
"Well, that's all I want to hear."
A moment later, she set a large bowl of ice cream down in front of each of them.
"Mam, I don't want ice cream," Ianto said tentatively. "It gives me headaches."
"Nonsense. It only gave you headaches because you ate it too fast. For heaven's sake, Ianto, just enjoy the treat for once. You have plenty of time. I assume you don't need to be rushing off anywhere soon?"
"No, Jack confirmed around a mouthful of ice cream and topping. "The Doctor fixed my vortex manipulator. I can call him when we're ready to go back to the TARDIS."
"There we are, then. You have plenty of time."
Ianto sighed. He knew better than most that his mother was not one to be argued with. Jack, for his part, looked completely happy, though, and for that reason alone Ianto was willing to endure the inquisition that was his parents.
Nearly four hours later, they stood together in the designated place to wait for the Doctor. The visit, on the whole, had been a pleasant one, although the unexpected arrival of Ianto's sister and her family halfway through had threatened to send Ianto running for the hills.
He'd worried briefly at how Jack would cope – he was still clearly nervous in Alwyn's presence – but David and Mica had immediately taken to the immortal and he was soon herded out into the garden by the two youngsters to play games. The conversation that followed whilst Jack was occupied with the kids had Ianto squirming in his seat, and wish he had Jack's vortex manipulator to teleport himself out of there.
"So, when did you go bender, then?" Rhiannon demanded.
"Rhiannon!" Alwyn growled in warning. "Your brother is not a… you know!"
Rhiannon, however, laughed aloud.
"You can't even say it, can you, Tad?"
"The word's 'homosexual'," Johnny said, and nudged Ianto playfully with a grin. "Ain't that right, gay boy?"
Ianto grimaced, wishing he could sink into the seat, even though he knew there was no malice intended in Johnny's words.
"I am not gay," he insisted. "I don't like men in general. It's Jack… Just Jack. And I didn't fall for him right away. It was a gradual thing." He made deliberate eye contact with Meredith. "It was a slow burn."
Alwyn sighed somewhat melodramatically, oblivious to the look of understanding shared between mother and son.
"Can't say I'm especially thrilled, but it's your life to live, and God knows the two of you have been through enough without us making it harder for you. If this is the path you've chosen, then you've got your mother's and my support."
"Ours too, you silly git," Rhiannon assured him with an affectionate smile. She paused, looking out to where Jack was currently lying on the ground, playing the slumbering dragon while David and Mica clambered all over him. "It's a pity you won't be able to have kids. Look at him, he's brilliant with those two, and they never take to new people."
"They could always adopt," Meredith suggested innocently.
"Man!" Ianto protested. "We don't even have a place of our own, yet! And in all honesty, Jack is a big enough child himself without bringing the real thing into the mix."
"I thought you said he was better?" Alwyn asked with a frown.
"He is," Ianto said, "but he still has moments where he's more child than adult. It's not his fault, he just has a lot of issues and insecurities."
"Of course it's not his fault," Meredith stated. "We just want to be sure you know what it is that you're getting into here."
Ianto did laugh, then.
"That, Mam, is a question I stopped bothering to ask myself a long time ago."
"I like your family," Jack said quietly as they waited for the TARDIS to return. Ianto smiled.
"They like you, too, Jack. Even Tad, and that's saying something, given he knows we're a couple. Even Mica and David like you. You have the children's seal of approval."
Jack laughed softly.
"That's good to know. So… you don't mind?"
"Don't mind what, Jack?" Ianto asked distractedly. Where was the TARDIS? It was getting cold, and neither of them were dressed for a dramatic drop in temperature.
"Sharing them," Jack said. "With me, I mean. You don't mind sharing your family with me?"
Ianto looked around at him, suddenly hearing the renewed uncertainty. Yes, he knew about Jack's father and brother, and about the way his mother had virtually disowned him. He knew that Jack was quite likely substituting the Jones clan for the family he'd lost so tragically.
Turning to face him, Ianto laid his hands on Jack's shoulders and smiled warmly.
"No, Jack. I don't mind sharing them with you at all, and I know they'd be very happy for you to think of them as your family. Hell, Mam has practically adopted you already. You're a part of my family, just the same as Johnny."
Jack raised an eyebrow, and amusement lit up his face.
"Does that make me the husband?"
Ianto saw immediately where he was headed with that, and thumped him lightly on the arm.
"Don't even think about going there, Jack Harkness! I am not the wife!"
Jack snorted.
"Well, I know it's not me. I'd make a terrible wife. I hate housework."
Ianto chuckled, amused at the strange turn their conversation had taken.
"I promise you, when we find somewhere to live, we will be sharing the housework."
"Just don't make me iron. I don't do ironing."
Ianto rolled his eyes.
"Fine. No ironing." He paused, frowning as something else occurred to him. "We'll have to find out about money. I wasn't exactly on a huge salary with Torchwood, and I don't have much in the way of savings."
"The Doctor will take care of that," Jack said confidently. "We don't have to worry about it."
"I hope you're right," Ianto murmured.
Later that evening, Ianto waited until Jack was in the bath before going to find the Doctor and ask him about the money issue.
"You have nothing to worry about, Ianto," the Doctor assured him, echoing Jack's earlier sentiment. "Your new salary as second in command of Torchwood will be quite substantial, and so will Jack's. Not to mention, an account has been set up for each of you so you can receive your compensation payments."
Ianto stared at him, confused.
"What compensation? What are you talking about?"
"Well, for you, compensation for the treatment you received because of Yvonne Hartman, and for what you went through at Canary Wharf. For Jack… Well, where do you start to compensate someone for one hundred and six years of captivity and suffering?"
"You can't," Ianto said bitterly. "Nothing can ever make up for what happened to him."
"Not, it can't, but Her Majesty has determined that he'll never want for anything again, for as long as her family reigns."
Ianto resisted the urge to make a sarcastic remark.
"That's very generous of her."
"She acknowledges that she failed Jack before, and she's determined that it won't happen again. She wants you both to have everything you need, regardless of whether you take over Torchwood or not. If Jack had refused, she still would have set up a wage for each of you; yours to be paid until your death, Ianto, and Jack's to be paid in perpetuus. She considers it to be the least she can do."
Ianto swallowed. It wasn't easy to do around the lump in his throat.
"Well, tell her thankyou. It is appreciated."
"Oh, you can tell her yourself when you next see her. She'll be wanting to see you both again, I guarantee it. And trust me, if she hadn't made financial arrangements for you, I guarantee that I would have. I'm going to be looking out for you both, Ianto, and I promise you now that I'll come whenever you need me. You only need to call."
"Thankyou," Ianto said sincerely. "I really do appreciate that, Doctor, and I know Jack will, too. I know he still has some insecurities about being abandoned. It's likely that he always will, I suppose, but I think he's slowly coming to accept that he won't be abandoned again by us. Not on purpose."
"And what about you, Ianto? Are you happy with this outcome?"
A smile quirked Ianto's lips.
"I think I am. I can't say this is how I imagined my future, but it's all right. I get to be with someone I love, and who I know loves me, and I'll be doing something important. If I have any regrets, I guess it's probably that I know I'll only be with Jack for a short time. I'm really just a blip in time to him and I'll be lucky if he remembers me in a hundred years' time, let alone a thousand."
"Oh, Ianto, I think you're sorely underestimating our Jack. You saved him, and you loved him when everyone else… me included… turned their backs on him. He will never forget you, Ianto Jones."
"Thankyou," Ianto whispered again. "I just… I wish…"
"What?" the Doctor pressed.
"Well… I just wish there was a way I could stay with him for longer. I mean, my life is going to be so short, compared to him. If I'm lucky I'll live until I'm eighty or ninety… or maybe even one hundred, though that's rather unlikely. You say he'll never forget me, but my life still only constitutes a brief moment for him. I just don't want him to be alone. You know that's his worst fear, don't you? Being alone?"
The Doctor regarded Ianto thoughtfully.
"What would you do about that, Ianto? If you had the chance, how would you change it?"
Ianto shrugged.
"Easy. Take the vortex out of Jack, or whatever it is that's keeping him going, and give him a chance to live a normal life."
"But then you'd run the risk of losing him, eventually."
"I'd have to take that chance, wouldn't I?" Ianto said. "But wouldn't it be worth it, to have the chance to grow old with someone you love? Right now, the only option open to Jack, aside from being alone, is to watch those he loves grow old around him while he stays the same. It really isn't any option at all, is it?"
"You are an extraordinary young man, Ianto Jones. Most people would ask for immortality for themselves if they had that question put to them."
Ianto shook his head grimly.
"No, I wouldn't ask for that. I want to be with Jack for as long as possible, but the thought of living forever just plain scares me. Doctor, is there really nothing you can do to help him?"
The Doctor raised an eyebrow.
"You mean, to fix him?"
The simple turn of phrase drew a look of visible ire from Ianto.
"He doesn't need fixing! He's not wrong, not a freak, not a monster. Needing help is not the same as needing to be fixed."
"Sorry," the Doctor apologised quickly, holding up his hands defensively. "I didn't mean it like that. Look, Ianto, I wish there was a way to take the vortex out of him. I'd never want to condemn anyone to the fate Jack is facing. Not even my worst enemies. The problem is that I wasn't the one who made him immortal. It was Rose."
"By opening the heart of the TARDIS," Ianto murmured, recalling the stilted story that Rose had told him. The Doctor nodded.
"Through absorbing the power of the vortex. Firstly, I would never allow her to do that again. I had to take it out of her the first time, and that's what caused me to regenerate. That power destroyed my ninth regeneration. Secondly, there's no guarantee that it would even work. The TARDIS had a big part in making Jack the way he is now. Rose wished him back to life, but the TARDIS gave her the power to do it, and the TARDIS was the one who pushed her to go that one step further and give him forever. If Rose… or even if I took in that power now, there's no telling what might happen. Yes, it might result in Jack becoming a normal human being again, but it could just as easily go the opposite way. You might very well find yourself immortal right alongside Jack."
Tears threatened in Ianto's eyes.
"I don't want to leave him alone, but I don't want to live forever, either. Why does it feel like a betrayal to think that?"
"It's not," the Doctor assured him. "And believe me, as much as I know Jack doesn't want to lose you, he wouldn't wish forever on you, either. He loves you too much for that."
"Do you believe there was a purpose to it?" Ianto wondered. "Some greater meaning to his immortality that we don't know about yet?"
"I honestly don't know," the Doctor admitted. "I would love to say yes, but I just don't know."
A somewhat melancholy smile touched Ianto's lips.
"Well, in that respect, I suppose you're not so different from us lowly humans after all, are you?"
to be continued...