Disclaimer: Contacts, yes
Disclaimer: Contacts, yes. Beauty Queen Crown, yes. State Track Medal, yes. Braces, yes (unfortunately…). Twilight, nope…. Or Cosmo Girl. Or Cedric Diggory.
Author's Note: Ha-Zah! This chapter gets kind of confusing. Just remember who everyone is playing, ok?
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Emmett ran downstairs, tripping over Bella as he did. "That was weird. Aren't you usually the one to trip?" He looked at her.
"It's backwards day, Emmett. I don't trip today, but all of you guys." She pointed to all of the Cullens in the room. "Do." She smiled.
"Backwards day…" Emmett cupped his chin. "OH MY GOD! That's awesome! And since its backwards day we should do things backwards!"
"No duh, Emmett." Edward smacked himself in the face.
"Therefore. Since we only ever have adventures with just us vampires, we should invite the humans over and they could be vampires for a day and have an adventure and we came be the useless humans!"
"I call being Mike!" Jasper appeared out of nowhere. "He's so cool. I always wanted to nibble on him."
"That was a little disturbing, Jasper. The last part, I mean." Edward stated.
"Yeah, but you can't deny that he sure looks like one tasty morsel." Jasper licked his lips.
"Can we please stop talking about Mike like he's an appetizer?" Bella asked.
"No. He's more of a main course." Edward walked over and hit Jasper.
"No one is eating Mike."
"Except for me." Edward smacked Jasper again. "Fine, I won't eat him until he's out of college. Then he'll be brain food."
"Anyway," Emmett cut in before anyone else could speak. "Let's get those humans over here!" He ran out the door to kidnap the local human children.
"What about me?" Bella questioned. "I'm human."
Alice jumped next to her. "You get to be me and I'll be you." Alice proceeded to walk one step and then perform a face plant.
Bella danced gracefully around the body of Alice. "Shopping, shopping. I love shopping." She sang.
Soon enough, Emmett returned with the humans. He tossed them all into a pile.
In the pile were: Mike, of course, Angela, Ben, Jessica, Tyler, Eric, Lauren, and Conner (A/N: Because he does so much! He does absolutely nothing, like Phil, he's just there).
"I'm Angela." Rosalie walked over and lifted Angela from the pile of bodies.
"This is very strange. Hi, Bella!" Angela waved from over Rosalie's shoulder.
"No." Rosalie smacked her hand. "If you're going to be me, we don't associate ourselves with the likes of them. We only associate ourselves with ourselves."
"That's seems a little harsh." Angela crossed her arms.
"You know, I'm trading you. I'm Lauren." Throwing Angela back into the pile, Rosalie lifted Lauren. "And what do you have to say for yourself?" She asked Lauren.
"Bella's a freaking prostitute." Lauren replied in usual disgusted tone.
"I love you." Rosalie threw her over her shoulder. "Let's go." And they left.
"I'll be Eric." Emmett screamed as he pulled Eric off the top of the pile.
"Yay! People like me!" Eric smiled.
Edward looked at who was left in the pile. He had to choose someone. "Angela and Ben would you like to come with me. I have a feeling I'm going to be a two person job."
Ben and Angela exchanged glances and followed Edward. Leaving, Tyler, Jessica, and Conner for Esme and Carlisle.
Esme choose Conner and Tyler because she didn't want them to get lonely. And that left Jessica with Carlisle.
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Two and half hours later, the new Cullens were ready for their first and only adventure on backwards day.
Bella looked over the group. "Ok, so you guys ready for another adventure?"
"More pep, Bella!" Alice coached.
"Oh right." Bella put on a fake smiled and clapped her hands together. She was dressed as if she was Alice and was trying to get all the mannerisms down. "LET'S GO TEAM!" Alice gave her a thumbs up.
"Aww…that sounds so depressing. I'm depressed." Mike pretended to sulk.
"Little less sulk, my tasty chicklet." Jasper called to Mike.
"Ok. Depressed, but happy." Mike smiled. Jasper was licking his lips.
"You guys are all really strange." Ben started and Angela finished.
"Yeah, real odd." She snapped her fingers.
Edward rolled his eyes. "I said, I'm somewhat feminine at times. I don't snap my fingers. I just carry a man bag and put my hands on my hips."
Bella ran over and slapped Edward. "I thought we broke you of that habit."
"You guys are really terrible at breaking habits. Remember when you tried to housebreak Jacob. He still pees on the carpet." Edward sighed. "You can't teach an old dog new tricks."
"And you can't teach a wolf boy to not wet the carpet." Bella sighed too. "This is truly a sad day."
"Bella," Alice tripped. "You're me. Happy!"
"Oh right." Bella smiled. "This day sucks, Edward!" He smiled and nodded too. "Why are you smiling?"
"I'm Angela. Go back with the group." Edward pointed.
Jessica stroked her chin. "Hmm…yes, interesting. I see. I do believe you are suffering from a case of lack of housebreaking." Jessica was talking to Jake, who seemed to always randomly appear.
"Jessic-" Bella was cut off.
"Dr. Carlisle Cullen, if you please. Now let's start this adventure."
Eric bounced, he was the closest to character. "Yeah! We're going to drink blood and feed on helpless animals!"
The Cullens, pretending to be humans, all cringed.
"Let's go!" Eric yelled. And the new, revamped Cullen family followed after him.
The group was able to take down a grizzle bear, three mountain lion, and a trout. Eric bite into the grizzle bear and began to suck its blood.
"Ummm…Eric?" Bella looked confused and concerned. "You don't have to do everything the Cullens do."
Eric hissed at her, blood pouring from his mouth. "It's delicious."
"I'm sure, but I really don't-" Bella stopped and pounced on a deer walking by.
And soon the herd of humans was a pack of bloodthirsty humans pretending to be vampires.
Eric stood above a carcass of a deer. "When in Rome." He pounced on the deer.
--
Back at the Cullen home, the old Cullens were becoming increasingly bored with their new identities.
"Want to call the wolf pack and switch with them?" Edward suggested.
They all nodded. And soon, Edward was Sam, Emmett was Jacob, Jasper was Embry, who was apparently just as tasty as Mike to him, Esme was Leah, Rosalie was Quil, Alice was Paul and Carlisle was Jared.
--
The humans pretending to vampires returned home, smelling of fresh blood. While the vampires who were pretending to be humans who then decided they would be pretend to be the wolf pack smelled of muffins.
As the humans entered, Emmett growled and got into attack position and then threw some water under him to look like he'd wet the carpet.
"Oh my!" Tyler and Conner said. "Jacob out of the house!" The both said, pointing to the door. Emmett's head fell and he left.
"Wait!" Bella screeched as she chased Emmett/Jacob out the door. "I need you to stop these dang headaches!"
Jasper and Edward stood and growled. "Grr…. Leave now."
"Now, now." Jessica walked to the front of the group. "No fighting."
Edward looked around. "This is so stupid, Jasper."
"I know. Someone get Emmett."
"I'm right here!" Eric raised his hand.
"No, someone go get Jacob." Jasper smack himself in the face. "I feel like Edward."
"Welcome to the stupidity that is my afterlife." Edward patted him on the back.
The retrieved Emmett and now they had to all switch back, which was really confusing since the Cullens switched twice.
"Well," Carlisle, who was now Carlisle again, said. "I believe you'll have to go talk to Sam to retrieve your identities."
And so, the human pretending to be the wolf pack went to see the wolf pack that was pretending to be the humans.
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"We refuse, sista." Sam gave Bella who was pretending to Paul, the snaps. "You guys are just gonna halfa deal with it."
"Please, Sam/Angela/Ben." Conner and Tyler, who were pretending to be Leah begged.
"Oh poo. Fine, we can switch. But I'm keeping the Cosmo Girl magazine."
"Done." Bella, who was now Bella, shook his hand and then tripped into a pile of sharp rocks, which magically became a fluffy pillow before she hit. She turned to see Cedric Diggory. She fan girl screamed.
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Author's Note: The humans were a request by TeamVampire. I hope you enjoyed it! :D