Disclaimer: Nope, no Twilight

Disclaimer: Nope, no Twilight. Yawn…Or Anything Harry Potter Related. Or Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Or Keebler Elves.

Author's Note: I'm awfully tired. I've decided that it will be ok now to add some slight details about Breaking Dawn. It's been a week…I'm not going to go into any big detail, but one that I found weird. It really didn't have anything to do with the plot, it just was brought up a couple times.

So, I say now, WATCH OUT a completely random detail about Breaking Dawn!

--

Jake was sitting outside the Cullen home doing nothing in particular. Just sitting and waiting, and waiting and sitting; nothing else. Did I mention he was sitting? Because he was.

"Hi, Jake!" Bella screamed. She waved wildly. "What are you doing?"

"Sitting and waiting. Or if you prefer. Waiting and sitting." He responded.

"Oh that's cool. So how's the whole magic thing working out for you?"

"Bella, I told you I'm not magically! And don't say it so loud! Do you remember when you told Emmett I was a magically genie and he tried to stuff me into a lamp? And he kept calling my Sabrina the teenage witch!" Jake looked panicked.

"No." Bella said with fake innocence. She giggled at the memory. "Well since we all know that you're really a magical creature"

"That's news to me." He muttered.

"We signed you and Edward up to go to a magic school! Hogwarts!" She smiled, jumping up and down.

"Umm…Bella, one I'M NOT A FREAKING MAGICAL CREATURE! Nor do I intended to become one. And two, why the heck is Edward going?"

"One, yes you are. You're like…" She paused. "Harry Potter. Yeah, that's who you are. You Jacob Black are Harry Potter in disguise. And two, Edward wants to go. He said there's some tri-wizard thing he wants to compete in (again). I told him to tell Cedric Diggory hi for me. He's so cute!"

"Who the heck Cedric Diggory?" Every Cullen standing in hearing distance stopped what they were doing with their jaws dropped. Jacob must be stupid or something. Everyone knew Cedric. "Is he that guy the sent those wild fan girls at me?" Bella nodded.

"I thought you liked girls now because of that?"

"Yeah, but…" Jacob sighed. "Those women were wild. Yay italics." He smiled. The Cullens let out a sigh of relief, now knowing that Jacob remembered Cedric.

"That was close." Emmett wiped some non-existent sweat from his brow.

"So, are you going to go?" Bella put her hands on her hips, which was fine for her because she was a girl.

"Do have to wear a black robe and a Carlisle scarf?" Jake asked with a eye roll.

"Yes, you do." Edward appeared from nowhere. "But you should know that already, Potter."

Edward was wearing the exact black robe Jacob had envisioned along with a scarf that looked as if Edward had robbed Carlisle. He also held a wand, which was pointed at Jacob. His eyes were stern.

"Mmmm…Kay. Not Potter or Harry here." Jake put his hands up like he was being arrested.

"Come on. Fight me like a man, Potter." Edward said in a random British accent. What was up with that?

"Are you supposed to be Cedric Diggory?" Jake asked as he tried to back away from all the crap.

"Correct, Potter. Now let's duel. You let Voldemort have a cheap shot and kill me, so I do believe I deserve to fight you. And plus then you were hysterical over my body and wouldn't let anyone touch. Which I might add was a little odd. It like you loved me or something. Oh well…" Edward cleaned his wand with a cloth. "Come, Harry!"

"Not Harry!"

"No, Edward." Carlisle came over to the group. "He's not Harry Potter as much as we'd all like him to be. But his is magically." Carlisle danced around Jake which was even more disturbed than being called Harry Potter. "He's like a unicorn!"

Emmett's eye lit up. "OH MY CARLISLE CULLEN! Jake, you're a unicorn?" Emmett stopped for a second. "You must be. We can ride you. You prance around. You have pretty fur…." Emmett's voice drifted off.

"See, you're a unicorn." Carlisle concluded.

"No, I'm apparently some kind of shape-shifter because just randomly Edward has to know that I'm a shape-shifter. Why the heck was he the only one to know? Huh? When that cactus (A/N: Guess who?) guy or whatever his name was asked if we bred mutants here. I was tempted to say no. We bred vegetarian vampires, confused shape-shifters and Keebler Elves."

"Keebler Elves?" Emmett sounded confused, yet excited. "Who's an elf?"

"Well considering everyone else in my life is mythical creature." Bella began. "Edward is both a vampire and wizard. And I just found out Jacob is a unicorn. I guess I could deal with a elf."

"I'll let my good friend tell you." Jake motioned to the woods, where Mike appeared with a chef's hat on and was holding a batch of cookies.

"Does anyone have any brown sugar?" Mike asked.

"Mike, you're a Keebler Elf?" Bella scratched her head.

"Well, of course, Bella. How else do you think I became that popular? My cookies are da bomb!"

"That makes sense." Bella smiled. "Welcome to the Forks family of Freaky Mythical Creatures."

"Thank you, Bella. Would you like a cookie?" She nodded.

Edward snorted. "I have to go pack for Hogwarts. And so do you," He pointed at Jake. "Harry Potter! It was a cheap shot and you shall pay!" Edward waved his wand, making a pot then he waved his wand again smashing it. "Goodbye, Potter."

"I'm NOT Harry Potter!" Jake yelled.

"Of course you're not." Bella assured him. "Harry is a human. You're definitely a unicorn."

Jacob threw his hands in the air and left.

--

Author's Note: For everyone who wanted more Cedric.

The thing in Breaking Dawn is the fact that Carlisle and Bella are trying so hard to convince Jake that he's magically. I kept thinking that they are just telling him he's Harry Potter. And why did Edward only know they were shape-shifters? Did no else, but him catch on?

Oh yes, and Mike has been a Keeble elf to us since we finished Eclipse. We decided everyone in Bella's life must be some kind of mythical creature. And that was Mike.