-=I do not own Harry Potter, Nada, zip.=-

AN/ I'm all of a dither. I hope you all enjoy this chapter, tricky things to look for: Fencing terms, and double entendre. And as always, thoughts are in italics. WARNING: long chapter (for this fic)

Cheap Thrills

-=Sneaky Saint Nick and her Happy Holiday Makers=-

*

Hannah and Ernie were in the library when Hermione found them. "I had a brain-flash. You know, create a little excitement."

They looked excited, "don't keep us in suspense." Ernie urged.

"Okay, here goes," hands over list. "These are the names of the witches and wizards of age staying over Holiday. We invite them to a Random Dare Game. So there aren't too many hard feelings, we can make it impartial. We write out all dares to be preformed placing them into a hat. Next we place all the staff names in another hat. First the player pulls a completely random dare, then if the dare requires an unsuspecting victim, I mean participant, then a name is drawn at random. What do you think?"

"Nothing too risqué, I mean no nudity or you know?" Ernie clearing his throat.

"Are there any you object greatly to?" Hermione turned the name list over.

"Not too bad, that one is a little questionable, but I suppose it will be acceptable."

"It's settled then. Spread the word, here you can have the list. Tonight, have everyone come to the Room of Requirement after dinner."

**

Staff and students sat at one table during dinner.

Still bent about the Poker game Snape addressed her at dinner, "Ms. Granger."

Hermione yawned hugely.

"Ms. Granger, you owe Professor Flitwick and I, a rematch."

Letting out another jaw-cracking yawn.

"Ms. Granger, am I boring you?" Snape asked tersely.

"No Professor. I think I'd know if you were boring me." Endeavouring not to smile she urged him on, "Poker? Lady Luck was on my side. Do you think you stand an honest chance, playing Pok'er with me?" Expression only mildly quizzical.

Arching an eyebrow. "So, you won't do me the honour of a friendly hand or two? It seems only sporting that you acquiesce. Call it, best two out of three."

"I'll have to wait until my lucky sweater is cleaned. Then, I suppose I could offer you a chance to be defeated by me. Again." Hermione smiled indulgently.

Snape tapped his teaspoon against his lower lip, "your terms are acceptable. However, I am not superstitious, Ms. Granger. If you feel you must rely on a lucky charm, then I pity your chances against me. I shall beat the pants off of you." Snape raised his goblet to her. Ms. Granger you are trying to play with me. She inclined her head graciously. Professor, you have no idea.

No one had paid them much mind. It was two days to Christmas; meaning there was an upswing in animated conversation.

Thereafter, focusing mostly on her food occasionally she caught Ernie's eye winking. Snape caught sight of Ernie giving a thumbs-up. The Patil twins sat next to Hermione chatting about nothing, they smiled at Hermione looking forward to tonight. Catching Draco's eye, he only sneered. No Draco then.

Racing through pudding; Ernie, Michael Corner, the Patil twins, and Hannah Abbott, all excused themselves in-turn. Hermione lingered, McGonagall asked her to pull rounds tonight. The head girl accepted the detail.

There weren't many people in the castle, though most of the students present were in the third year. Likely to get themselves into trouble.

Walking out of the Great Hall. "Granger, when you're ready up the ante let me know. I'll be waiting." Exchanging smiles.

"You got it, Mr. Malfoy."

**

"Settle in everyone, get comfortable. I'm sure Ernie and Hannah let you know that we want to brighten your holiday. Dares, and Victims." Indicating the two hats on the table. "I will warn you now that these hats are enchanted. You will be compelled, (magically if necessary) to complete your dare by noon on New Year's Eve. Does everyone understand? You can back out now, the Dares are Hufflepuff approved, so not too bad then."

No one left. Each looked a little anxious, embarrassed and excited. "Ernie, you want to go first?"

Pulling the dare, "bloody hell. I have to," pulling a name groaning, "hold mistletoe over Trelawney's head and kiss her." He grimaced and shuddered. The others cheered.

Next came Michael, who as it transpired had to ride his broom across the lawn all the way around the castle in his pj's.

Padma, practically jumped out of her skin when it was her turn. The Ravenclaw had to wear fuzzy slippers all the way up until the dare deadline. She sighed audibly with relief.

Her sister approached gingerly. She had to drop a dungbomb outside Flitwick's office.

Hermione eyed Hannah, both of them knew what the remaining dares were. "Hermione, you want to go before me?"

"Okay Hannah, no problem." She reached her hand into the hat; examining the Dare rolling her eyes, "I have to make out with my pillow during a meal." Everyone laughed Ernie nudged her roughly as she sat back down.

That left Hannah to booby-trap the teaspoons.

"Everyone, I've got to go on rounds in an hour. Hannah you might want to nip down to the kitchens and transfigure the teaspoons, so we'll have them at breakfast. Good night and good luck." I can't wait to see what Malfoy has in mind, bet it'll be real interesting.

**

Grabbing a sweater, Hermione went on her rounds. Through the Charms Corridor, passing the statue of the humpback witch, then through the Trophy Room. Third Floor done.

Now down to the second. No sounds could be heard as she passed the DADA classroom, all the way to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. As she rounded the arch and entered the Empty Corridor, a shadow disengaged from the dark. Startled only momentarily, "Professor, fancy running into you here."

"Ms. Granger, I am amazed you didn't run into me. Learned how to operate your feet or were your shoes too small."Stop Cut

Not dignifying his last remark. "I meant to check this corridor sir. However, if you've done so I don't feel the need to review it for myself." She smiled pleasantly.

Lunge "I have not explored every inch. As it stands I am satisfied that it is in perfect order."

Parry "Excellent. I won't keep you Professor." Turning on her heal, she headed toward the staircase.

Thrust "Ms. Granger, I will accompany you. Wouldn't want you to damage yourself on the stairs."

"That won't be necessary, Sir. This is the time of night I could slide down the banister." Attack au Fer

He stopped in his tracks, "what?" Thunderstruck.

She laughing at his less than smooth delivery. "I'm teasing you Professor. Though, now that I think about it, there might be some merit to trying. After this year I may not get another chance. Bears consideration at least." Shrugging her shoulders. Walking down the stairs, sliding her hand along the marble surface meaningfully. "Yes, I think so. Not tonight of course, shouldn't want to be thrown in detention, should I Professor?"

"Ms. Granger, your talent for getting into trouble never ceases to amaze me. It seems that detentions have no effect on you. Perhaps, next time I'll employ some other method."

"I dare say you'll come up with something, Sir." At the bottom of the staircase she took a long look up at the Grand Staircase."

"Then at least, Ms. Granger you may consider yourself forewarned."

"Forewarned, is after all forearmed." Wand-tip lit she peeked into several small alcoves. Nothing. "I'll make sure I don't have an audience, Sir."

He stiffened only slightly. "Indeed."

"Ernie, where are you coming from?"

"Hermione, Professor Snape. I came from the Dungeons. I finished early with the first floor, and the forth floor so I decided to run a circuit of the bowels. Everything has been silent, not a toe out of line."

Snape addressed Ernie with no little irony. "Mr. Macmillan, how did you find my bowels?"

"Perfect shape Sir. No one there, that shouldn't be." Ernie said casually, though looked astonished as Hermione walked away from them. She held onto the banister shaking, trying to choke back silent laughter.

"Ms. Granger, my bowels are no laughing matter." Dryly he remarked. "If Mr. Macmillan hadn't seen to them, you yourself would be obligated to. Bear in mind Mr. Macmillan didn't have to do your dirty work." Before he could say another word, Hermione fell over laughing, clutching at her ribs. They watched Hermione for a long moment. Ernie was perplexed. "Mr. Macmillan, I'll take care of Ms. Granger, you've earned your rest."

"Yes Sir, thank you. Hermione, ya'lright?" Hermione jerked spasmodically.

"She is fine Mr. Macmillan, check on her in the morning if you need to." Ernie walked down the stairs to the Hufflepuff Dormitories.

"Ms. Granger? Compose yourself." Snape watched her carefully.

She rolled over onto her back, tears streamed from her eyes. She lay there for a moment wiped her eyes, laughter died down. Her eyes glittered, Snape smiled appreciatively. Snape leaned forward to offer her his hand. She jolted. This was the same spot she had forcibly encountered Snape months ago. She took Snape's hand, he helped her to her feet.

Laughing nervously, "thank you Professor. I haven't laughed like that in a very long time. Bowels, I ask you." Professor, I didn't know you had a sense of humour.

Snape's lips curled into a devious smile. "Ms. Granger, Mr. Macmillan is not your intellectual equal." Realizing he still held her hand, he bowed over it planting a soft kiss on it. "I'm pleased you're amused. You had better go off to bed, before you humour renders you helpless." Letting go of her hand, "good night Ms. Granger."

She blushed, "good night, Professor Snape." Still smiling broadly.