Disclaimer: No Twilight

Disclaimer: No Twilight. Or Pepsi. Or M&Ms. Or that guy from Scream. Or George Lucas. Or Aaron Carter. Or Bill Cosby. Or Hannah Montana. Or Mary Had A Little Lamb.

Author's Note: …

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It was Halloween, and Bella was extremely excited. It was a time for pretending, and going into random strangers homes (a.k.a. legally breaking and entering.).

Though it was legal, Emmett and Jasper were still planning on having Bella and Edward distract the homeowners, while they smashed the back window, to really get the full effect of going into a stranger's home for candy.

Yes, candy. That was what Halloween was about…Bella smiled at the thought.

Oh, the sweets she would receive. Even though she was a teenager, candy always made her giddy.

So that was what brought her here, standing in the Cullens living room in a black cloak with very pale looking skin. Most would think that she was trying to be that guy from Scream, that year there seemed to be a million of. Seriously, could no one come up with something original?

No, she wasn't him at all. Bella was…Aro.

She was preparing herself to touch everyone and then start rambling stuff about their childhood and such.

Edward came downstairs looking like he was wearing high heels or something. Either that or he had had an impossible growth spurt. Beside the higher altitude he was at now, he was just wearing a pair of cut off sweatpants and a black wig that came down to about his chin.

"Ummm…Edward?" Bella questioned. "Who are you?"

"Guess."

She appraised him, glancing over every aspect of his outfit. "George Lucas."

"Close. Here's a hint." Edward flipped his wig hair. "Hi, Bells." He spoke in a high pitch, almost whine. "I'm so lonely 'cause no one loves me. I wonder if the parasite will leave again, so that I can make out with his girlfriend again." He grinned wildly.

Bella bit her lip. "Aaron Carter."

"Another hint?" She nodded. Edward fell on to all fours and started rubbing his head on Bella's leg and whimpering. He stood up. "Ahh, I'm naked. Got it?"

"Bill Cosby."

"Jacob." Edward came up with the answer.

"Oh…those were horrible clues."

"Bella!" Jasper ran downstairs where wearing a jean jacket, tastefully tattered jeans, a sequin scarf, sunglasses, and a long blonde wig. He threw himself at her. "Are you as excited as me?"

"Jasper-" Bella was nudged by Edward.

"It's Hannah." Edward corrected.

"Montana." Jasper pulled a microphone from the back of his pants. "I got the best of both worl-"

"Ok," Bella covered his mouth. "That's nice. Just remember I'm Aro and not only do I know your pop star secret, I can also eat you."

Jasper/Hannah's eyes went wide. "Oh no! You'll make all my adoring fans so sorrowful and then who will pump up the party? Or who will have the party with them? Aro, why? WHY?"

"Just be quiet." Bella smirked.

"Emmett, Rosalie, Alice!" Edward called. "Get down here! Jasper is acting all duel life pop diva!"

Emmett appeared wearing a plain tee shirt, jeans, a brunette wig, band-aids and casts on nearly every part of his body, and a wolf and heart charm bracelet. "Oh my gosh!" Emmett scurried to Edward/Jacob. "Hi, Jake!" Emmett hugged him.

"Hi, Bells." Edward said in a high pitch squeak. "I missed you."

Alice followed wearing a Hannah Montana tee shirt. Bella looked confused. "I'm a groupie." She smiled, as she saw Jasper. "AHHH! Hannah!" She pounced on him.

Rosalie was last just wearing a red shirt and plain jeans.

"And what are you, Rosalie?" Bella asked.

"I'm a person wearing a red shirt."

"How's that pretending?"

"I'm pretending it's green." Rosalie crossed her arms.

"Oh ok." Bella grinned. "Oh wait." She scowled. "Grr…Cullens."

"If everyone is ready. Let's go." Edward motioned for the group to move out and about.

The Cullens and Bella took the town by storm. They went to every house one street, using vampire speed of course, well except for Bella who rode on Edward/Jacob, in less than ten seconds.

"Well, where to next?" Edward looked around and that's when it was heard.

"BELLA!" Jacob bounded with Quil, who was dressed as a raccoon, Claire, who was fairy princess, and Embry, who was…ummm…an unknown object, at the Cullens. Bella put up her arms protectively, but Jake didn't attack her. He attacked Emmett.

"Edward!" Emmett yelled and hugged Jake. "I missed you, Edward. Where were you?"

"Missing you, baby." Jacob hugged Emmett closer.

"No." Edward jumped in between Emmett and Jacob. "You're going to kill her! I know you will!" He screeched. "I'll kill you!" Emmett cringed behind Jacob.

"Oh no, you won't, Jacob." Jacob replied with calmness, like Edward usually.

"Fine, leech. I think it's time for a dance off!"

"You are very strange, Jacob Black." Jacob stated. Emmett whimpered. "But I can't back down. Hit it Hannah."

Jasper jumped up on a car with Alice and Rosalie standing in the back as back up singers. Jasper began to lay down the law with some serious beats. He was performing the song Best of Both Worlds, but with a vampire/human life twist.

Jacob/Edward and Edward/Jacob starting dancing like there was no tomorrow.

"No, stop!" Emmett cried. "This is wrong! Let me die!" He pulled a random rock from nowhere and began to attempt to react the whole Third Wife thing.

"No, Bella!" Jacob yelled as he threw himself into Emmett's arm. Getting him to drop the rock. "You cannot do that! I love you!"

"I love you!" Emmett turned to Edward. "And I love you too, but not enough to actually care."

"Oh, I'm so lonely!" Edward cried out, while Emmett and Jake skipped away.

Embry, Quil and Claire all looked at each. Completely confused on why they had been brought over here just to do nothing. So, to make up for it they stole the microphone from Jasper and performed the never before heard song from the band they had just created while that last scene was going on.

The song was called, 'Why the Heck Are We Over Here?' and the band they called, 'Lost Wolves…and Claire'.

"It's ok, little shape-shifter." Bella patted Edward on the head. "Edward Anthony Masen Cullen…Parents Edward, Sr. and Elizabeth Masen. Oh sorry. Stupid Aro power… Let's get more candy."

Eventually they finished their candy hunting and went home.

Emmett and Jacob hadn't returned. Everyone assumed they did what Bella and Edward would have done, got married in Vegas.

Bella looked over all the candy. "Yay!" She had given up on the whole Aro thing. She began to shovel it all into her mouth, mostly the M&Ms…because they were amazing.

"Do you need something to drink?" Edward asked. "I mean- I LOVE BELLA!…but she doesn't love me. Do you want to drown in my sorrow with me?"

Bella nodded with a wrapper hanging out of her mouth. He handed her a Pepsi.

"PEPSI! IT'S SO MUCH BETTER THAN COKE!" She chugged the entire bottle and went back to shoveling.

Soon enough, Bella was having such a sugar rush it wasn't even funny.

"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! EDWARD! EDWARD! EDWARD! WE SHOULD HAVE A PARTY! YEAH PARTY! TONS OF PEOPLE! LOTS A PEOPLE! AND PEPSI! MORE PEPSI!"

"No more Pepsi." Edward took the bottle away from her. She screamed.

"NOOOOO! I NEED THAT! IT'S MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE! PEPSI! PEPSI!"

"Nope. No Pepsi or M&Ms." He took both from her. But before Edward had a chance to throw anyway the candy and sugar, Jacob and Emmett came back.

"BELLA! BELL! BELLA! BELLA! BELLS! BEELLLLAAAAAAAAA!" Jacob bounced his way over to her. He was shaking due to a major overdose of sugar.

"What happened?" Edward asked, looking concerned as Bella and Jacob danced/hopped around in a circle singing 'Mary Had a Little Lamb'.

"We found a Pepsi machine…and he ate like fourteen packs of M&Ms." Emmett laughed. "Which made him awesome!" Emmett jumped in the circle.

Jasper walked in with Rosalie, Alice and a group of girls falling all over him. "Sorry, girls. Hannah is out." He waved them goodbye.

Jasper then noticed the extremely hyper group. "YOU STARTED WITHOUT ME!" He jumped in.

Alice, Rosalie and Edward just stared.

This act of dancing and hopping went on for ten straight minutes, until Jake and Bella collapsed due to the sugar rush crash right in the middle of the chorus of the song. What a shame.

Jasper and Emmett tossed the two over to the side and continued, but Alice, Rosalie and Edward jumped them and tied them to chairs. Then Alice, Rosalie and Edward danced.

"YAY!" The said as they danced.

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Author's Note: This was for pearberry14. Hope liked it! :D