-=I could never get tired of your characters, Ms. Rowling. Thank you so much.=-

AN/ Here it is, the one you've been waiting for. It was longer than I expected.

Please review I eager to hear your thoughts. Thank you, everyone for reading and especially for reviewing. Just to stave off any confusion, keep in mind- this is Hermione's point of view, as she's telling the story, with occasional interruptions.

Cheap Thrills

Slap and Tickle

Room of Requirement

*

Everyone settled into seats. Hermione addressed, "You have to swear not to repeat any of this." They eagerly agreed, just to hear the juicy tale about to be regaled. Hermione performed some quick charm, making everyone glow silver for a moment.

Deep Breath. "I tried being Gryffindor brave and Ravenclaw smart. As it was, I was Slytherin crazy." Taking another bottomless breath, she sat down gingerly. "After dinner I hurried down to the Potion's classroom, eager to get the humiliation over with." Glaring a Draco. "Then I'd work out how I'm going to spend my time, after I got suspended."

"The Potions Master was going to be livid once I execute my dare. Harry promised me a proper burial, if things went pear-shaped."

"My knuckles hurt as I rapped stoutly on the door."

"" Enter," damn, he doesn't sound happy at all. With a stiffened spine I entered, closed the door firmly. Walking to the middle of the class I stood on the desk."

They made noises of anticipation.

"Professor Snape only looked surprised for a moment. "Ms. Granger, remove yourself from that desk and my presence. Now.""

"Professor, I can't do that." Trying to keep my face calm, was more difficult than exercising full-grown Blast-Ended Skrewts."

""Have you finally had a nervous breakdown? Academic demands drive you mad?" He spat each word derisively."

""No, Sir." I tried to sound firm, while maintaining eye-contact."

"Fifty-points, from Gryffindor, and week's worth of detentions."

"You, have to please yourself, to be sure. Sir."

"Looking completely put-out he stood, strode across the classroom. At this point I raised my arms over my head, standing rigid. "Fifty more points from Gryffindor," he challenged. I felt his breath on my knee."

""I'm not leaving, Sir." He ran his hand up my thigh. I squawked, and swatted his hand."

"He was imperturbable, wrapping his arms around my legs, just above my quaking knees. Well, as soon as he had me off the desk I did it. Whipping my skirt up, putting it over his head. "I really like you under my skirt like that Sir." He froze."

Her recitation ceased.

"Granger," drawled Draco. "You can't say that sort of thing to a man, expecting him to just leave it at that." Tense, Draco tried to grin. "What else happened? Spill it."

"Ok, damn Draco, I should have known you'd want every libidinous detail." Hermione huffed.

"Well, I was kind of expecting him to drop me, or start shouting. To my surprise he did something quite shocking. He licked up my thigh, leaving a bite at the end of the slippery trail."

"There, are you happy Draco, I spilled the beans."Her tone was convincing, her flush was not.

"Go, on Granger, we want every detail." Goyle, backed Draco up in his demand. Albeit for a different reason.

"My mind was in an open state of warfare. I've never had anyone invade my personal space so blatantly. He starts to walk, but he catches me off guard. Jerking hard, propelling me over his shoulder. I could just make out the door, only we were moving away from it."

"Calm as you please, he says, "You've been up to something all year, Ms. Granger. Taking liberties seems to top your priority list of late. I think...I'll have to start taking a more active role in your enjoyable pastime.""

"I tugged at the back of his robes. Unable to gain purchase, let alone string two coherent words together. He stopped at his desk, sat on the edge. "Ms. Granger, you must have needed my attention badly if you were willing to take such an enormous risk." Professor Snape ran his hand up the back of my thigh, over my bum, then he pulled my knickers down and off."

"I was still speechless, the hound tosses my skirt up completely. My ass was hanging out. The arrogant bastard was smirking. Snape said silkily, "I suppose I might thank you for insisting on my taking a break." His hand roamed over my exposed skin. "Maybe, I should give you fifty points back.""

Hermione looked completely mortified.

Pansy was practically salivating. "So, what happened next? You don't look like you've been cattle-trucked, but it's possible I suppose."

"Pansy, that was really crude." Hermione admonished.

"What next..."Pansy insinuated.

"Well, I suppose you could say; he was content to let his fingers do the talking. But...I had a sharp pain and yelped. He says. "Oh, that's how it is, is it?""

""What?" Was the only thing I could come up with. Standing back up, he sets me on his worktable."

Hermione was interrupted.

"...I am never going to look at that classroom the same way again." Pansy, awed.

"Are you going to let me finish so I can put this whole mess out of my mind?" Hermione was losing patience. "Right well. He...um...put his head under my skirt, and gave me a thorough tongue-lashing. Personally I couldn't decide whether I was being punished or rewarded."

Pansy silently saluted her with a thumbs-up.

"Well, he didn't stop, you know...kept at it, until I nearly fell off the work surface. My head was reeling a bit, so I couldn't quiet think clearly. I just kind of lay there while the room stop spinning. I managed to roll over onto my stomach. Attempting to slide off without falling; he stops me, with a hand on my lower back. Whipped my skirt back up, he spanked me. Hurt too, then he kissed the offended cheek and dismissed me.

"Snape, leered. "Ms. Granger," his flush receded."

""Huh?" I know I wasn't really my most brilliant."

""Tomorrow, seven o'clock, my office to start your detentions. Don't be late."Snape hissed."

""But it's Sunday?!" Looking at his smug expression made me want to rage."

"He says to me. "Did you expect me to be lenient, just because you were the best dessert I've ever tasted?" He looked at me pointedly, completely unabashed, and licked his sticky fingers."

""You!" Shocked, and angry as I was, reason had returned."

"Raising an eyebrow, in lewd speculation, "would you like more detentions. I'm sure I can find something...suitable." I wanted to demonstrate my proficiency with rude hand gestures. Unfortunately, I had to settle for a heartfelt scowl."

"He had my knickers in his hand, hissing, "would you like them back?" Then he held them up to his over-large nose, and inhaled. I turned on my heel and exited."

"There, I'm finished, end of story. You got what you wanted, you bunch of depraved lunatics."

"I don't believe you!" Draco challenged.

Indignantly, Hermione got to her feet and stormed over to him.

"You honestly expect us to believe that actually happened." Draco looked up at her, towering over him.

Kicking his shin, she turned to go back to her seat. However, when she did Draco hoisted up the back of her skirt exposing the reddened hand-print. "Professor Snape, you've been a very bad boy." Draco commented with no little admiration.

Hermione lunged at Draco, pinning him to the sofa. "Yes, Granger?" Eyeing her indecently. "Need to release your frustration? I assure you I'm quite willing to accommodate you." But the ever-thunderstruck Harry and Ron pried me off of him. "Of course, I wouldn't want to deprive the Professor of your charms. But I suppose you'll enjoy your detentions. Don't forget I warned you, you can't get mad at me."

"It was your dare, Draco. I can certainly blame you if I want." Her anger being to ebb.

"The Professor likes you," he drawled. "I think you like him too."

~*~

AN/ Review: questions, comments, suggestions. Give it to me baby!