Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight (I'm out of things to say up here)…
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight (I'm out of things to say up here)….OR Pine Sol (yes, more Pine Sol).
Breaking Dawn stuff.
Author's Note: This is our last Cullen Moment for the summer, thus beginning the unknown that this is high school. Again we don't know what the schedule will be with this story. We seriously are going to try our hardest to write more when we have time. Getting inspired is probably the hardest part at this point…the writing is fun and easy.
I may just writing down ideas in study hall (seeing how I have at least two a day this year. Ugh.) for this. Or possible write chapters in study hall…I could enlist my friends, that read Twilight, to help. Would you believe my best friend, Cat, actually is going to read Twilight just so that she can read this for me? I heart her!
Now, I'm going to try and make this good for you guys. You all are so AMAZING, it's not even funny! Even when we came up with something completely weird and we got told how incredibly strange and disturbing it was, you guys still stuck with us! And that says so much! Thank you! :D
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"God, Ed." Renesmee grimaced. "Seriously, you suck so bad!" Edward rolled his eyes.
"Nessie, you knew this was going to happen sooner or later…it's time."
"Time for what?" Her attitude was not only showing, it was becoming increasingly annoy to Edward.
Why is she so difficult? He grumbled in his mind. She's worst than Mike after I dumped a bottle of lemon Pine Sol on him. Edward sighed. Maybe it was because Ben kept yelling about how he knew what that tasted like. Apparently me…hmm…
"Time for Uncie Emmy to become a pastry chef?" She asked. "'Cause if you haven't notice yet, but he already has. Uncle Emmett is a freaking pastry chef! Does he realize only two people that periodically stay at this house eat? Just Jake and me! What the heck? Does he have like a mental block or something?" Nessie waved her hands in the air.
Edward, still annoyed, finally snapped. "No, Nessie." He took a deep unnecessary breath. "It's time you and your mother join the family business."
"What? Biting people? Baking pastries? Annoying my husba- I mean- Jacob?"
"What was the last one?" Edward read her mind before she could answer. "Oh my god! Jacob is my son-in-law! That is seriously messed up!"
He paused to read her mind once more. "And I'm a grandfather! Forty-six kids! Holy molie! And I thought Bella and I were busy on our honeymoon! Renesmee! I feel OLD like Carlisle!" Edward nearly broke down because he now knew that Jacob was a part of his family, thus he could never again cook dinner on his face. It would upset Nessie for sure.
"God, Ed. You act like you've never seen teen pregnancy before. Seriously." She crossed her arms.
"Where are the kids?" Edward asked, half dreading the answer.
"At his house. I don't get why you're so surprised. We only had one litter of pups." She spoke as if it was common knowledge that shape shifters had children in a large group. "Seriously, dad. We had a small litter. Jacob had eight-seven in his litter."
Edward shuddered at the thought of multiple Jacobs running around; a picture appeared in his mind. It was an entire room of naked shape shifters all looking lovingly at a small baby girl in the middle of the room. OH GOD, NO! If one wasn't bad enough!
"What happened to the rest?" He asked.
"You guys ate them. They only kept Jake because he was the only human looking one. All the rest were little wolfies!" She giggled. "My pups are so cute!"
"You know. I'm just dropping this subject and I'm going on to the real subject of today…You and your mother are going to be given your…" He paused for dramatic effect. "HERO NAMES!"
A huge crowd cheered loudly and the rest of the Capricious Cullens appeared along with Bella.
"Nessie and Bella, are joining the hero business!" Alice said happily. "I'm so proud!"
Emmett stood in front of a cake, that Nessie could clearly see, but he was trying to hide it. "I made you something!" He smiled, revealing the cake. "A cake!"
Bella hugged Renesmee. "This is so great!"
"God, Bella. Stop touching me, you freak!" She pushed her off.
"I think it's time to have the naming ceremony." Carlisle proposed. "We all remember how we obtained our secret identities, right?"
"Emmett just randomly assigned crap." Edward replied.
Emmett smiled. "Yes! That's why I get to name these two too! So that they don't feel out of the loop!" Holding a honey bun in his right hand, he waddled over to the two girls. He examined them.
"This is so incredibly stupid!" Nessie complained.
Jake hopped through the window holding a puppy in his palm. "Italics, Nessie, a mirror and myself! This is the perfect day!"
"Oh my god! My freaking stalker husband is back!" Nessie growled. "And he brought Bellarah Edilly (A/N: Just in case: Bella and Sarah. Edward and Billy (eww))!" She saw the puppy in his hand. "Ugh! He is such a jerk!"
"Ooo…Italics!" Jake smiled holding up the puppy. "I LOVE YOU TOO, NESSIE!"
"I've figured out their names!" Emmett announced. "For evermore, Bella shall be Clumshe like clumsy, but not! And Renesmee…well no one in their right mind would ever think that's a real name, so you'll just be that."
Nessie looked insulted. "Give me a name." She demanded.
"Mutant Human Vampire Lass."
"Good enough." She spun around to look at her husband. "As my first act as Mutant Human Vampire Lass, I shall defeat Jackson Arnold Conner Oswald Bobby or as we call him…J.A.C.O.B." She growled and lunged at him.
But he ducked. There was a big fight scene, but Emmett's comment eclipsed the whole epic-ness of it. So...let's move on.
"Let's have cake!" Emmett went over to cut his cake, but then he realized it wasn't actually real because he wasn't actually a pastry chef. He was really a cake dancer.
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Author's Note: No idea what that was….lol! Bella and Renesmee will probably never go on super hero missions because I like Bella as a defenseless human better and Nessie wasn't born then, so…no!
The Emmett pastry chef this was a request from X alisunshine X, hope you liked it!
