Disclaimer: No Twilight is not owned by me

Disclaimer: No Twilight is not owned by me. Or Fisher Price. Or Barbie. Or Carmen Sandiego. Or Toyota Prius.

Author's Note: I'm trying to update as soon as I can. Sorry, I'm slower now…I've been busy and stuff. We're actually currently writing probably our longest Cullen Moment ever, but it needs work. So, I thought I'd write you a quick, little tidbit.

Breaking Dawn spoilers!

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"Renesmee!" Edward called from the garage where everyone was hiding. It was her third birthday and, like most three-year-olds, she was getting a car (Jake giggled.). But, unlike most three-year-olds, she was getting an actually car, not a Fisher Price plastic one. She had one of those already and had outgrown it. Her and Jake just didn't fit anymore. It was a tragedy!

"GOD!" She yelled from inside the house. "What the heck do you want?"

"Come out, honey!" He responded, smiling. "We've got you something!"

Renesmee stared walking towards the door, but Jacob grabbed her from behind. "No! You must be blindfolded or you'll see the car your parents bought you!" He cried as he tied the blindfold around her eyes.

"It's a FREAKING car!" She sounded annoyed. "What about my Barbie one? Did those annoying flesh licking jerkfaces get rid of my precious plastic beauty?"

"No, silly." He laughed. "Those annoying flesh licking jerkfaces didn't get rid of your car. I did."

"WHAT? How the heck did I ever get bonded you for all eternity? Aren't you supposed to be loyal and do what ever makes me happy? Why are you so messed up? Seriously, Jake! Who the heck decided this fate for me? Because I've got a few complaints!" She tried to remove the blindfold, but Jacob held it on her.

"I'll listen to your complaints, love of my existent." Jacob smiled dreamingly at her.

"Fine. Listen. One." She held up one finger. "Why are my parents such flesh lickers? Two. Why is it when I wake up, you're standing at my doorway staring at me? Are you like a stalker or something? Because it's really weird. Three. Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? I need (Giggle from Jake) to know!" She stressed.

"Let me answer what I can." He cleared his throat. "One. Is there a problem with being a flesh licker? Because I enjoy it. A lot. Two. 'Cause you're so pretty." He said 'pretty' in italics to show he really meant it. "And three. No one knows where Carmen Sandiego is! Haven't you heard the song?"

Amazingly on cue, the theme song to Carmen Sandiego began to play in the background.

"See." Jake motioned as the song play.

Since the music was playing and they were both being too stubborn to actually go see Edward, whose been waiting for twenty minutes, they decided to dance.

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Ready…skip long, lengthy, boring, badly choreographed dancing section…doo doo doo doo…. Skipping, skipping, skipping…Onward!

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"We probably should go see your father now." Jacob stopped the music. "It's been four days since he called for you to see your present."

"Ok." She replied miffed about something or other.

She put on the mask again and they proceeded to the garage.

"Ready?" Jake opened the door. "And look." She pulled off the blindfold.

There was dead silence. Not the surprise as they were supposed to hear. This lead Jacob to assumed the worst; that wild wildebeests while he had eaten everyone, while he and Nessie danced.

"No!" He cried out. "They're so young!" He rethought his statement. "Well, some of them were."

"Wait. Is she here?" Edward asked, cutting off Jacob, while coming out from behind a pile of trash. He noticed Renesmee. "Darn it. Jake, take her back into the other room. Wake up people!"

Everyone who was crushed in the garage began to move. This included, the Cullens, the wolf pack plus random imprintees, Mike, Angela, Ben, Tanya's clan, Voturi, J. Jenkins, the Third Wife and family, and a goldfish that was Emmett's pet named Franklin.

Jake removed her from the room. "Sorry, Ness. We're going to do this again."

They walked in the door again.

"SURPRISE!" Everyone shouted…well, except for Franklin. Fish can't shout.

"Nessie," Bella looked so excited. "We got you something." She giggled.

"A car. God, mom."

"How did you-? Ugh. Jake." Bella shook her head and unveiled the car. It was a Toyota Prius. Also known as a hybrid car.

"You bought me a Toyota?" Nessie raised an eyebrow.

"A hybrid for my little hybrid." Edward smiled as he hugged. "I love you, Prius."

"Are you talking to me or the car?" She looked around confused.

Edward rested his head on her shoulder. "You've always been my little liger too!"

"Stop it with the freaking hybrid jokes!" She tried to push him off, but he wouldn't move. "Fine. I have one for you! You're such a mule!"

Edward looked hurt. "I am NOT a mule! I am a full bred donkey!"

"Yes. Yes, you are." Renesmee agreed.

"I'm a horse, then?" Bella sounded hurt. "Mike, I'm fat." She began to tearlessly sob on his shoulder.

"It's ok, Bella." Mike patted her hair. "I like your chubbiness."

Edward glared. "That's it!" He walked over to Mike. "You are going down. So far down you won't even know where the ground is. You'll going to burn. Burn like burnt toast."

"And you are going to burn like a blazing fire in my heart." Mike blushed. "I mean." He coughed. "You suck."

Nessie gave up on watching the fight between her dad and Mike, so she ventured off and found the keys to her car. Upon hopping in, Jacob jumped in the other side.

"Where are we going?" Jake asked.

"GOD!" She screeched. "You know what? We are going some where quiet, where no one can hear you screa- sing. And we are going to play with the hamm- bouncy balls I got for my birthday."

"YAY! And here I thought you were going to try to kill me!"

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Author's Note: The Prius idea comes from madeinchina371! I hope you enjoyed!