The light that filtered through the window was dim against Levi's eyes. As consciousness slowly returned to his still body and closed eyes, he became numbly aware of the constant patter and drumming of rain against the walls of the house and of a subtle excited shifting beside him. Levi slowly opened his eyes to see an excited pair of bright eyes almost exactly like his looking back. The child gasped and softly cried, "Daddy!" The child wrapped his arms around the corporal and buried his face in his father's chest. Levi smiled and hugged him back.
"Why didn't you wake me up when you got here?" his son curiously pleaded.
"A growing young man needs his rest," Levi replied, his voice still a little groggy. The rain picked up a little, sending a million little tacks and tuds against the wall and window as thunder rolled softly in the distance.
The child looked away for a bit as he thought it over, then looked back at his father, "I would've gone back to sleep…"
Levi chuckled as he brought the child into a tight hug. After a moment or two, the child spoke up almost with tears in his eyes, "I missed you, Daddy.".
Levi had to try hard not to cry himself, "I missed you too, son." He rubbed his son's back warmly. "So, so much."
"You're not going to have to leave again soon, are you?" The rain picked up a little, sending a million little tacks and tuds against the wall and window as thunder rolled softly in the distance
Levi turned that question painfully over in his mind, "I hope not, son. I really do. But you know I can't promise anything."
His son gave a sigh deeper than any child should have had reason to make, "Okay…" A quiet moment passed before the child spoke back up, "Did you at least kill a bunch of titans to make up for it?"
Levi chuckled again. "You shouldn't be worrying about that."
The child pouted a bit as the rain droned on against the walls.
"But yes," Levi said as he tousled his son's hair a bit, "I killed off a bunch of those titans for you."
His son giggled a bit as he tried to push his father's hand off of his head. "You scared them all off?!"
"All the ones that saw me. They ran away!" The lance corporal gave his son a few tickling pokes.
The child giggled a bit more as he tried to push off the tickling. "Is it okay if I become a soldier like you one day, Daddy?"
Levi paused as he looked his son calmly in the eyes. Rain tattered and the thunder rolled firmly as it drew closer. "But there won't be any more titans by the time you're old enough to join the military." He gave his son another tickling poke or two. "I was gonna get them all for you, remember?"
His son started to laugh, then pushed his father's hands away and held them there. "Well…" the child sounded out thoughtfully, "Could you leave one? Just for me?"
Levi had to pause at that as he looked into his child's eyes. Even if it was a question asked in ignorance of the titan's terror, the fact that there were children all over asking these kinds of questions bothered him. The fact that his child, whom he had strove so hard to protect – from whom he had ignored question after question to avoid exposing him to the scarring memories of titans – was asking him these kinds of things. He looked over his son. Nine years old… Three more years, and his son would be able to enlist into the military by his own will. Levi had been fighting hard to keep him safe, but soon his son would be able to choose for himself how safe he wanted to be. Soon, Levi would have to choose between training his son or urging him into continued blissful ignorance. Blissful ignorance… An image of how the colossal titan must have looked like as it peeked over the wall creeped into the lance corporal's head. He had a gut feeling as to which it would be, but he still didn't like his options. He'd just have to trust the commander and hope they found a way to beat the titans before it came time for Levi to make that decision.
There was a knock on the door, and Levi's mother peeked around. "Good morning, boys! Are you feeling hungry yet?"
"Oh! Yes ma'am!" Levi's son piped.
The woman laughed, "Well, someone's feeling bright today!" She looked to Levi, who returned her smile appreciatively. "I'll go start on breakfast," she whispered quietly to Levi's son just before she slipped back out of the doorway. The thunder rolled once more.
"Well," Levi said as he slowly turned the covers back, "Let's get up, then."
Later, Levi emerged from the bedroom dressed in his military pants and a simple shirt as his son followed eagerly behind. His mother in the kitchen turned around to glance at the two.
"Why didn't you leave those things behind?" she remarked as she nodded towards his pants. "Don't you have something more comfortable to wear? I told you, this is your family, not the military."
Levi quickly sighed as he shook his head a little, "These are comfortable enough."
"They look really cool!" his son chimed in.
"Well of course you'd think that," she replied as she set the first large plate of food on the table. "I can't think of the first child who doesn't think of the military that way."
Levi glanced outside and quickly changed the subject, "What's with the rain outside today? It was sunny when I came in yesterday." The sky had darkened a bit, and the rain continued its hammering against the house.
His mother looked outside the window as she prepared the next plate, "I don't know. I saw the clouds roll in last night, but it wasn't raining by the time I went to bed."
Levi lit another kitchen lamp and a candle or two before he sat down at the table. His son climbed up eagerly beside him. "I kinda like the rain," the child chirped as he shifted in his seat. "It sounds like tacks against the window," then he paused as he turned his head thoughtfully, "I don't like to be in it though." Levi and his mother both gave a small chuckle. She came to put down another plate down on the table.
"You know your father slept best in the rain when he was a baby," she thoughtfully remarked.
"Really?" the child asked as he looked up at him.
"Still do sometimes," he nodded.
"I wonder if titans like the rain," the child seamlessly added. Levi shifted a bit, but he knew the child's curiosity would be hard to suppress. Silence passed between the three for a second or two before the child turned to his father. "Do titans like the rain, Daddy?"
Levi paused for a moment before he carefully replied, "They don't like the dark."
"They don't?"
Levi shook his head, "They fall asleep when it gets dark."
The child thought for a moment, "Then why doesn't the Survey Corp…"
Levi's mother came over with the last plate and asked the child, "Would you like to say the blessing dear?"
"Oh!" the child chimed. Levi took his mother's hand and his child's, and the child took Levi's hand and his grandmother's. It was a prayer to God, not the walls. Levi's mother wouldn't have any of crazy mess and neither would Levi. To be honest, the corporal wasn't entirely sure where his faith laid, though he was more than sure it would be something other than wall worshipping.
Afterwards they continued with their meal. The rain and thunder pounding around them, Levi's mother picking on him about the military, the child asking about titans, Levi dodging the titans and trying to ask them about their lives when about twenty minutes in there was a knock on the door.
A shadow passed over the lance corporal's face as his demeanor hardened a bit. Levi's mother stood up, "It's still too early for your father to be home." She opened the door to reveal a somewhat stern-looking blue-eyed blonde man standing out in the rain under his green cloak.
"Commander!" she said, "What a pleasant surprise. Why don't you come in out of the rain?"
He peered out from under his green cloak as he looked at the woman, and then looked past her and locked eyes with Levi. They shared a knowing look for a moment before Erwin looked at the child as well.
"Thank you, I appreciate it, but…" he lowered his voice to a level Levi and his son couldn't hear, but Levi already knew. He would be heading back.
After a moment or two she said farewell and closed the door. The look on her face was disappointment – and perhaps a little anger. She sat down and Levi nodded knowingly at her, but they both turned to the child before them. He ate away at his breakfast innocently, not noticing their looks. Levi finished a last bite and got up to put his plate in the sink before he started walking back towards the bedroom.
"Daddy?" he called.
"I'll be just a moment," Levi said.
Levi's mother and the child sat in silence as she wondered just what to say or do. It had been so long since Levi was last here, and now he already had to go back. She knew his son wouldn't take it too well.
Levi returned with his green cloak on and bag in hand. The child looked up at him wide-eyed. "You're not leaving are you?"
The lance corporal had to fight back some tears. "I'm afraid so, son."
The child's response was immediate as he leapt down from his seat, "But you just got here!"
Levi walked over to his son and knelt down to his level. "I know… But Daddy has to go fight the titans," the word was sour in his mouth. "You know I have to go help keep everyone safe."
The child drooped his head as he looked down at the floor, his voice very quiet and solemn, "I don't want you to go…"
Levi wrapped his arms about his son. "I know. I wish I didn't have to."
They hugged each other tightly for a few silent moments as the thunder cracked and boomed above them. The child piped in, "Next time, I'll go fight so you won't have to!"
The lance corporal chuckled darkly, "It doesn't work like that son."
"I know…"
Levi gave his son a firm squeeze and walked over to say goodbye to his mother, who firmly and jokingly reminded him it was his fault for not leaving his equipment behind and to leave that military crap back at the barracks next time.
The lance corporal allowed himself just a moment to turn back and wave goodbye as he headed out the door. He pulled up his green hood and found the commander waiting for him just a few yards ahead with two horses. Levi went over and climbed up.
"I'm sorry," was the commander's very first words.
Levi was silent for a small while as they trotted down the road. The commander looked quietly and sullenly up ahead. "I trust your judgment, Erwin," Levi finally said calmly. "You know that."
"You can't say it doesn't hurt – going back there as little as you do." The commander closed his eyes as the responsibilities of his position once again weighed in on him. "It's not fair to you."
Levi gave a sarcastic scoff, "Life isn't about what's fair, Erwin." He turned his head to look towards the commander. "I thought you, of all people, would know that by now."
The commander thought for a moment before he looked forward once more, "That doesn't mean I won't have to answer to you – and to hundreds of others – when it's all said and done."
"I'll take victory over the titans as answer enough," Levi remarked. The commander turned to look at him; they met gazes and shared a small smile and chuckle before they continued on.