Disclaimer: No Twilight for me

Disclaimer: No Twilight for me! Or the Green Goblin. Or Spider Man.

Author's Note: This is based off of a conversation myself and my sister had with our little cousin, Erica.

Breaking Dawn is present…

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Renesmee, who was about the size of a two-year-old, but only fourteen seconds old, sat on her mother's lap. She sighed. Her life had had many ups and downs since she was born and now, for the first time, there was a lull in the action.

Jasper crossed the room. Nessie had always found him extremely interesting. The way her crept around her mother. The way he seemed to be perpetually bipolar. He was amazing!

Bella shifted her daughter, as Jacob and Edward walked into the room.

"Hey, my little love muffin!" Jake waved. Edward nudged him hard with his elbow, knocking him out for a good couple minutes.

"Hey, my little love muffin!" Edward smiled. He walked over to his wife and baby girl, kissing them both on the head. "What are you two doing?"

"Nothing." Bella replied. "Just chillin' like a villain."

"Coolio. I love pretending to be James." Edward sat down next to her.

"No." She shook her head. "I'm James. You're Victoria." She pointed at him.

Edward groaned. "Aww…but I was Victoria last time. Can't I be someone cool like the Green Goblin."

"What? Edward. No. We are pretending to be people we know on a personal level. Not your made up best friends." Bella huffed out some air and turned her head.

"Aww…But Spider Man loves me…" He sniffed. "He really does."

"But I thought you were pretending to be his enemy?"

"You're such a demanding wife!" Edward went to leave, but Bella grabbed him and pulled him back. Which she could totally do now because she was a vampire at the moment.

"No, Edward. Let's talk about something else." He sat down again.

"Or we could stare at Jacob's unconsciousness and laugh." Edward suggested.

Bella bit her lip. "Just for a minute."

--

TWENTY THREE HOURS LATER

"Wow, you must have really hit him." Bella commented. "I thought the narrator said he'd only be out for a good couple minutes, but apparently their timing is off."

Edward shook his head. "Nah, they're right. Our clock is just wrong." He went over and slammed the clock.

It had only actually been two minutes.

"Oh ok. Well since this boring, let's do something else." She glanced around. "I know! Let's ask Nessie questions." Renesmee looked up. "Who's your favorite uncle?"

"Jasper." She replied in a whispered, hushed tone, speaking very quickly.

"Ok. Who's your favorite aunt?" Bella asked.

"Jasper."

"He's not an aunt, silly." Bella laughed. "Seriously, who?"

"Jasper." She reiterated.

"Here let me try." Edward looked at Nessie. "Who's your favorite mother?" Bella smiled, knowing there was only one answer.

"Jasper." Apparently there were actually two answers now…

"Favorite father?" Bella asked.

"Jasper."

"Is there something I should know about, Bella?" Edward raised an eyebrow.

Bella shrugged. "I have no idea what she's talking about." She sighed. "Favorite shape shifting lover boy?"

"Jasper." Renesmee replied in the same hushed tone as before.

Jake was now conscious again. "NOOOO! She doesn't love me anymore! After all the italics I wasted on her!" He cried, but soon enough his tears made a puddle and he could see his reflection and he was content. "Yay! It's me!"

Edward decided to keep trying. "Favorite grandfather?" She had four choices (Carlisle, Charlie, Phil, and Edward Sr.(Two of which have no idea she even exists)); maybe she would pick one.

Renesmee acted as if she was thinking, then she said. "Jasper."

"Ugh." Bella and Edward said together.

"One more." Bella held up her pointer finger. Gazing upon Renesmee, already knowing the answer, but still hoping that since she had three choices (Renee, Esme and Elizabeth), maybe she would….

It was now or never. Bella asked her question. "Favorite grandmother?"

There was a pause. Just another fake pondering session, Bella was sure.

"ESME!" Renesmee screamed.

--

Author's Note: This was a conversation we had with Erica; she pretended she was Nessie, and somehow I was Jake and my sister was Edward. And that was what happened.